Recovery. My story.

[Angel of death]

Now I don't want to talk about rec drugs...more so the recovery of getting off them (opiates)
I have been into lifting weights for most of my life, since JV football at least...and always stay in pretty good shape but never quite get lean enough to really be proud of my work. Anyway, a few years back I screwed up with drugs and then was prescribed something called suboxone to get me off opiates. This is supposedly a "maintenance" drug for opiate addicts, but the brain never gets a chance to heal while on it, so it really is just delaying the inevitable. I was on it for years (2-3) and once I got off...I completely fell apart. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, i had clammy cold skin, the worst kinda depression, my stomach turned and i always felt terrible aches and nausea, basically a living hell. Because of the long half life of this drug I was prescribed, the withdrawal seemed to take months and months and only now am I even beginning to feel like my old self (its been 4 months off) and even still I'm not even that close. I wake up and feel terrible, I have absolutely NO energy, my body has become ultra sensitive to caffeine and its counter productive anyway since if I took it it would make sleeping 100% out of the question. I know theres people out there who have been through stuff like this. It seems you get off drugs and all the problems you didn't even know you had just come out tenfold and you feel you can't do anything about them because you're so tired and sick always.

Well now that I at least am thinking normally, I find this deep motivation like I've never had before to finally get the body I've always been so close to getting, but never had the diet or cardio discipline. I am going to do this....and more importantly Im going to achieve peace of mind, but right now its so hard to find the energy when caffeine is just out of the question. Any suggestions or stories of your own recoveries are greatly appreciated. Also feel free to ask me anything.

[BrownGirl]

It's wonderful that you got out of that lifestyle and are motivated now. All the best to you!!!

[Angel of death]

thanks brown girl its appreciated

[xelnaga]

Double post. Sorry

[xelnaga]

Im not ashamed to admit a former pill problem. I hope the forum allows us the liberty to continue this important discussion. I never had any interest in drugs until I began experiencing repressed memories of past trama. I abused a powerful pain reliever almost everyday for just over 2 years. I have just over 2 years of sobriety now. My best advice is to admit that your thinking is jeopardized by the drugs effect on the brain. You really need to get rid of negative people in your life and bring in and trust positive people.

Everyday you stay sober is an investment in the items that actually count. I managed to stop before the birth of my niece. Had I continued to use drugs I would have never had an chance to visit and develop that relationship. Along with repairing relationships with the rest of my family.

P.s.
I saw an episode of dog the bounty hunter when he arrests a meth addict. Dog said wtf are you doing drugs for? The guy gave the excuse that he was addicted. Dog said you dont do drugs because your addicted you do them because you like to get high! That statement stuck with me. Its about accountability, its about no excuses and taking responsibility.

[Far from massive]

Congrats on dropping that shit, without getting into details I have been the whole route from 20 yrs of smack to 10 yrs with methadone which is basically the same a suboxone just with a little more psycholigical effect. While the long half life drugs like suboxone and methadone allow you to come off slowly without puking in the sink while simultaneously shitting in the toilet (been there and done that) the withdrawel symptoms do last much longer. That said if its been over a month you have been through the worst of it and its all uphill from now on. Believe me one day soon you will realize that you no longer feel shitty and you have a new lease on life, do not pass this day up whatever you do.

One last thing, believe me withdrawel from slow acting opiods analogues is no joke and can not be compared to jumping off crack, meth etc. Trying to quit cold turkey is setting ones self up for failure the OP has done things the right way.

FFM

[Angel of death]

thanks a lot for those who responded. and you aint kidding about the suboxone withdrawals lasting much longer FFM...I actually thought I was clean while I was on subox until I stopped it and found out first hand how wrong I was...

[jasc]

Congrats on the sobriety AoD

I've had family/friends who were addicted, one to meth and the other to oxys n heroin. Seeing what they went through I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy.

Stay on track n punish those weights when you're able to. You're lucky to get another chance at life, many who go down that road never come back or they're never the same. Stay strong

[RaginCajun]

glad to see you are on tract. i am trying to keep tabs on my lil brother who could fall into this pitfall, he is on subox, so i have been trying to monitor him thru his friends. already had one step bro locked up cuz he was addicted to meth so i can't lose this one.

[warchild]

good for you man, nothing good come froms those pills. btw great song! slayer

[xelnaga]

You need to have 0 tolerance for those you know that still do drugs. I vet everyone who I spend personal time with.

[cherrydrpepper]

I am an alcoholic. I am actually drinking a 6 pack right now.. I am not like a normal alcoholic. The last time I drank I passed out and people drew on my face and I went to work with some of the shit still there not knowing (couple weeks ago). Many times I can stop with a 6 pack at home like tonight. Sometimes I will drink and drink and drink and nothing short of passing out will stop me. Even vomiting will not stop me as I will start drinking shots immediately after I throw up. There are a couple of things that have helped me.

#1 A firm belief that if I continue to drink the way I have.. I will lose everything. I have missed 3 days at work last year. These were all due to alcohol. I have lost many jobs to alcohol. I have a professional job right now. I came within inches of doing nothing but restaurant work the rest of my life. Nothing against anyone living that life.. but I have a degree from a prestigious school that I spent 5 years of my life obtaining and a lot of money. Time lost at the gym is also a major major factor for me.

#2 Going to meetings. Fuk.. I met my best friend at a meeting. He is the greatest human being. His father was a drug dealer who died when he was a kid. It hurt him so bad that it fukd him up. He has come so far and is such an inspiration. I don't know what happened to you that you felt you needed a substance to feel ok, or maybe you just got addicted and your life really wasn't that bad, but no matter who you are, trust me you are not special in this regard. There are people just like you with the same issue, the same background. Do not sit around thinking no one could ever relate with you because I promise you there are people just like you out there.

#3 I had a gf overdose on me. It plays in my head several times a day. I will never be ok but I have gotten to a point where I can begin to heal. I think the biggest factor is that I don't want to hurt people around me like my family and loved ones. When you fuk yourself up thats who you really hurt. You make them do time with you.

#4 I watch the same movies over and over especially when I am drunk and they get into my subconscious and inspire me. Some of my favorites are Good Will Hunting, Gladiator, A Few Good Men, Schindler's List, Courage Under Fire, Man on Fire, Over The Top, The Fifth Element, Leon The Professional, Fearless, Unleashed, Thor

If you really have an addiction.. go to meetings. I never could have stopped without meetings. I made gym my shrine, my church. Now gym keeps me sober a lot. I know whats at stake. My job and my beautiful body gone if I go back to that life.

[Armykid93]

Ill keep you in my prayers. Glad your getting better