Dating and herpes

**grumpee** · 12-03-2012, 09:10 PM

Any of you guys have experience dating girls with herpes ( genital) ?

I ask because I have been dating a older woman who I really hit it off with. Tons of chemistry attraction etc. We been just dating and every time we start screwing around she tells me she rather take it slow etc. Which I have been ok with . Last night we were screwing around and told me she had type 2 herpes. I truly like being with her and like her. Her ex gave it to her a few years ago and she said she tested positive for it but never had a out break sores etc.. Told me we have to have protected sex etc..

Just thought I would see if any of you guys have experience dating a woman with herpes. Dont really want to break up with her since we get along so good and the attraction and chemistry between us is pretty good.

**Rwy** · 12-03-2012, 09:52 PM

I would say she is a good person for telling you. I dont think many would.

**OnTheSauce** · 12-03-2012, 10:30 PM

See where it goes, just be safe.

**JWP806** · 12-03-2012, 10:32 PM

Not worth the risk imo.

**gearbox** · 12-03-2012, 10:48 PM

Way to many fish in the sea!
She has integrity for telling you. So props there. But even.a condom doesn't completely protect you.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-03-2012, 11:50 PM

My first wife got it from her philandering first husband. We were married for twelve years and I stayed clean. She rarely had outbreaks and she was super careful.

I heave heard that some people are contagious even when they aren't having an outbreak, but we never had a problem. Look into that.

I took the risk because I really liked her, and we we did end up married. It wouldn't have been worth the risk if I had any doubts about her long term awesomeness.

**Euroholic** · 12-04-2012, 12:08 AM

Run for the hills mate no quiff is worth getting a disease over. Ive always said the only women a man can
Trust is his nana.

**BlueWaffle21** · 12-04-2012, 06:36 AM

Yes, herpes can be contagious even when there is no outbreak. You could have it and not have an outbreak for 10 years ro it might happen when your immune system is compromised. I started dating a friend of 8 years and we were out one night when she slips and says "like when I got herpes!" WAIT.........WHAT!?!?!? The look on her face was priceless and I couldn't let go of the fact she was going to sleep with me and not tell me. I haven't talked to her since!

Condoms pretty much only prevent curable STD's other than Aids. HPV and herpes is from skin contact so unless you are wearing a condom speedo you're putting yourself in danger.

**RASIL** · 12-04-2012, 03:26 PM

IMO I would run, not walk in the other direction... There are so many women out there.. That STD never goes away, and if it does not work out to be forever and you catch it, can you see telling each new girl you meet that you have the herps....

**cherrydrpepper** · 12-04-2012, 05:46 PM

Statistically 1 in 5 people has genital herpes. but 90% are unaware they have it. I know that this isn't what you want to hear and its just my opinion. I think if you want you should keep seeing her but keep it friendly and just explain you appreciate her being so honest and would not want to contract it unless your relationship was serious (marriage). I think the chances are against it working out because she's an older woman. I don't think you said how much older but I just don't think it works out with older women that often (goes to marriage) unless its a negligible difference (1-5 years). The society we live in today is blasted with images of women with huge breasts and men with six packs. In addition, we are soft. We have no great depression or world war to make us work for the greater good and we are no longer idealists who will stay married no matter how much blood is to be shed or what the opportunity cost. So you want my answer if its 1-5 years older I see where this is going but keep it friendly. If its more than that I distance myself as best I can without hurting her.

**BlueWaffle21** · 12-04-2012, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

Statistically 1 in 5 people has genital herpes. but 90% are unaware they have it. I know that this isn't what you want to hear and its just my opinion. I think if you want you should keep seeing her but keep it friendly and just explain you appreciate her being so honest and would not want to contract it unless your relationship was serious (marriage). I think the chances are against it working out because she's an older woman. I don't think you said how much older but I just don't think it works out with older women that often (goes to marriage) unless its a negligible difference (1-5 years). The society we live in today is blasted with images of women with huge breasts and men with six packs. In addition, we are soft. We have no great depression or world war to make us work for the greater good and we are no longer idealists who will stay married no matter how much blood is to be shed or what the opportunity cost. So you want my answer if its 1-5 years older I see where this is going but keep it friendly. If its more than that I distance myself as best I can without hurting her.

1 out of 4 women
1 out of 5 men

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-04-2012, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

I think if you want you should keep seeing her but keep it friendly and just explain you appreciate her being so honest and would not want to contract it unless your relationship was serious (marriage). I think the chances are against it working out because she's an older woman. I don't think you said how much older but I just don't think it works out with older women that often (goes to marriage) unless its a negligible difference (1-5 years). So you want my answer if its 1-5 years older I see where this is going but keep it friendly. If its more than that I distance myself as best I can without hurting her.

I DO NOT DISAGREE with your points above, but did laugh the whole time I was reading it because this mirrors my first marriage. My first wife had herpes (she told me up front) AND was significantly older than me. Despite those facts, I never caught it and we stayed married longer than the average marriage (12 years for us, 8 years median for the United States) and our split had nothing to do with the age difference.

I realize that I beat the odds.

**Far from massive** · 12-04-2012, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by Euroholic

Run for the hills mate no quiff is worth getting a disease over. Ive always said the only women a man can
Trust is his nana.

Real cheery outlook...if that's all he saw in the relationship I am sure he would take your advice. However I would guess he is hoping for her to be more than a substitute for masturbation.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-04-2012, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Far from massive

Real cheery outlook...if that's all he saw in the relationship I am sure he would take your advice. However I would guess he is hoping for her to be more than a substitute for masturbation.

Yeah, I think this is a next level kind of thing. Serious relationship potential with one possible catch.

I like this place because these things can be discussed. I couldn't go to my friends when I was 21 (when I met my first wife) and say, "hey, you remember that girl I am dating? Well, she has herpes and I don't know if that should be a deal breaker...what do you think?" I didn't want my friends to know she had herpes and she would have been horrified if my friends knew.

Bless the internet.

**cherrydrpepper** · 12-04-2012, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

Yeah, I think this is a next level kind of thing. Serious relationship potential with one possible catch.

I like this place because these things can be discussed. I couldn't go to my friends when I was 21 (when I met my first wife) and say, "hey, you remember that girl I am dating? Well, she has herpes and I don't know if that should be a deal breaker...what do you think?" I didn't want my friends to know she had herpes and she would have been horrified if my friends knew.

Bless the internet.

hahahha funny and good point. People are kind of stupid about this stuff in real life.

**awol** · 12-04-2012, 08:56 PM

Your description of the feelings between you both say it all. I doubt it would stop me at all. Its hard to find that someone who you have powerful chemistry with.

And its only herpes, not HIV ffs!!!

**gearbox** · 12-04-2012, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by awol

Your description of the feelings between you both say it all. I doubt it would stop me at all. Its hard to find that someone who you have powerful chemistry with.

And its only herpes, not HIV ffs!!!

Maybe you should look into herpes more before speaking about it. It can cause a lot of problems and like jv situation it can cause none. Just like aas we each have different side effects

**--->>405<<---** · 12-04-2012, 09:55 PM

well worst case u get some painful blisters in ur mouth and on ur penis a few times per year that lasts for a week or month or whatever.. no biggie!

i actually dated a girl that had herpes and (according to her) we didnt find out until wed been together for like 6months (i was 19). she said she got it a while back and we just didnt have sex while she had blisters on her junk. i never wore a condom and its been 19 yrs and i havent had any outbreaks.

now maybe ive given herpes to a bunch of women unknowingly but like i said never had a prob. as a matter of fact i forgot about it until rite now.

**grumpee** · 12-05-2012, 09:47 AM

Thanks for the replies and lot of valid points. She is 42 and im 35 and have decided to still take it slow and see where it goes since we get along so well . I have not slept with her yet and dont know if I will for now. Might as well enjoy her company for now. She tested positive for it 3 years ago and says she has yet to have any kind of a outbreak but still carries it.

**Dukkit** · 12-05-2012, 09:51 AM

Ive banged 2 girls with herpes.

I dont have it.

And I get Std tested every 6 months.

lol

I used condoms... sometimes.

But I made sure they were on their valtrex everyday.

The one girl never had an outbreak and the other girl didnt have one for 3 years prior to us meeting.

If you like her... be safe. Get her to get a prescription for valtrex before you get naughty with her

And of course... wear a condom and wash your nuts/entire private area right after sex.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-05-2012, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by grumpee

Thanks for the replies and lot of valid points. She is 42 and im 35 and have decided to still take it slow and see where it goes since we get along so well . I have not slept with her yet and dont know if I will for now. Might as well enjoy her company for now. She tested positive for it 3 years ago and says she has yet to have any kind of a outbreak but still carries it.

Seven years is nothing. I wouldn't worry about that part at all. My wife is ten years younger. My first wife was MANY years older.

**--->>405<<---** · 12-05-2012, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

Seven years is nothing. I wouldn't worry about that part at all. My wife is ten years younger. My first wife was MANY years older.

not helping ur position!

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-05-2012, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by --->>405<<---

not helping ur position!

I already stated above that we were married for twelve years (longer than average) and the split had nothing to do with the age difference.

**--->>405<<---** · 12-05-2012, 04:09 PM

^^ i was just messn with u man!

**gearbox** · 12-05-2012, 04:30 PM

I think we finally found a sensitive spot in JV

)

**--->>405<<---** · 12-05-2012, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by gearbox

I think we finally found a sensitive spot in JV

)

now u found it the question is what r u gonna do with it?

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-05-2012, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by --->>405<<---

^^ i was just messn with u man!

Originally Posted by gearbox

I think we finally found a sensitive spot in JV

)

Originally Posted by --->>405<<---

now u found it the question is what r u gonna do with it?

Bwahahahaha! Surely you didn't think I was being defensive...I used a smiley face for Pete's sake. I just didn't know if 405 had read the post above where I gave more specifics.

You can try to get a rise out of me if you want though. Might be fun.

**thegodfather** · 12-05-2012, 05:33 PM

I had a g/f who had it....I was with her for 3ish years... She was my 'first love' it started in high school, and went into the beginning of my sophmore year of college. That was the only reason I tolerated it, that and a lot of other shit that was wrong with her (mental bitch that she was). I rarely wore condoms, and it was a very very very stupid decision. I'm grateful everyday that I never contracted it from her, I have no idea how....

So with that being said, I will address the more technical and scientific side of this argument. Lets start by delineating HSV, Herpes Simplex Virus. Types 1 & 2, are not different strains of the virus, they simply delineate Type 1 - "Above the waist," and Type 2 - "Below the waist." You can contract herpes on almost any part of your body, but it is usually on soft membraneous tissue, i.e.- lips, gentials, anus, etc. Herpes can however manifest on parts of the groin (Inguinal area) and the legs. The Herpes Simplex Virus in Type 2, actually inhabits the nerve that sits at the base of your Sacrum, in your spine. The virus, when it is shedding, or causing an outbreak, travels down the nerve originating from the sacral nerve, and presents symptoms on the surface of the skin, and manifests as a lesion. The period just prior to, during, and just after the lesion presents is obviously the time of highest contagion. However, in 70% of cases where a sexua partner has contracted the disease, no signs or symptoms of an outbreak were present. This is because while there may not be an active outbreak, the virus can at times leave its home at the base of the sacrum in your spinal cord, and 'slough' viral cells on the surface of the skin. If your membraneous tissue comes into contact with these sloughed viral cells, you will become infected.

Also, and I started a new paragraph because I wanted to put specific emphasis on this. The INCUBATION PERIOD for HSV 1&2 is 7-10 days. This means, that from the moment of initial infection, the first outbreak WILL occur within 7-10 days of contracting the disease. It is often the most intense, painful, and prolific outbreak. During the incubation period, you can spread the disease to others, if you have multiple sexual partners during this time period, i.e.- you are sleeping around. So, it is a lie if a woman has told you she contracted the disease at X time, but never showed signs nor symptoms. When a person is infected, they will always have an initial intense outbreak during or at the end of the incubation period.

Now, it's also important to note, that HSV 1&2 are completely interchangeable, and you can easily contract HSV1 on your lips from coming into contact with infected genitalia, and vice versa. What is particularly troubling about HSV1, what we know to be herpes of the lips, is that the virus rests at the base of one of the Cervical vertebrates, along a nerve. In some cases, the virus can become "confused" when traveling down its typical nerve pathway towards the surface of the skin(the lips) and end up traveling down the Optic Nerve. In this case, you will have a herpes outbreak which manifests itself within the eyeball. This can lead to permenant and irreversible damage to the cornea, or other parts of the eye, permenant damage to your vision, and sometimes complete blindness.

In even more rare cases, a person who contracts herepes can become infected with "Herpes Encephalitis." That is, herpes which goes into the bloodstream, crosses the BBB (Blood Brain Barrier) and infects the brain. There is quite a high mortality(death) rate among those who contract herpes encephalitis. For those that survive herpes encephalitis, it, like many other infections which target the brain and CNS, can cause life long, irreversible brain damage. The deficits which a patient suffers will be largely unknown until the virus runs its cycle and symptoms attenuated.

So yea, there is quite a lot to consider there when deciding to ACTIVELY and KNOWINGLY have sexual relations with a partner whom admittedly has HSV 1 or 2. Having known what I know now, after studying medicine, I would never, ever, ever, have engaged in the relationship that I was in, save for the fact that I was young, dumb, and full of cum. Simply a stupid teenage kid, who didnt know any better, and I actually thought of myself as some sort of ultra 'good' guy who was compassionate for 'overlooking' her disease. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*k that my friend, thats beatsville bro, kick that bitch to the curb, I'm sure you can find some new cougar that you like just as much. Cut that shit off now before you develop anymore feelings.

Hope this post was helpful bro...

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-05-2012, 05:51 PM

^^^^ I do not thank you for reminding me that one can get it on the anus. Good post.

**Rwy** · 12-05-2012, 06:02 PM

Wait I am confused. I was reading that you can have 1 on the gentials or 2 on the lips. The reason it has become so common is because so many people have 1 on their face perform oral sex on someone else and give them 1 on their gentials.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-05-2012, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by Rwy

Wait I am confused. I was reading that you can have 1 on the gentials or 2 on the lips. The reason it has become so common is because so many people have 1 on their face perform oral sex on someone else and give them 1 on their gentials.

TheGodfather was just explaining that 1 and 2 are the same virus, but Type 1 is above the waist and Type 2 is below the waist.

So what you are saying is correct, but it called Type 2 when it is below the waist.

**--->>405<<---** · 12-05-2012, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

Bwahahahaha! Surely you didn't think I was being defensive...I used a smiley face for Pete's sake. I just didn't know if 405 had read the post above where I gave more specifics.

i didnt think u were but wanted to make sure u knew i was just kidding! dont wanna hurt ur feelings!

**thegodfather** · 12-05-2012, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

TheGodfather was just explaining that 1 and 2 are the same virus, but Type 1 is above the waist and Type 2 is below the waist.

So what you are saying is correct, but it called Type 2 when it is below the waist.

Yes, Johnny gets what I was saying. Many people think that HSV1 and HSV2 are two completely different strains of the herpes virus, for example swine flu which is an influenza A type virus H1N1, also has influenza C types which are like brothers&sisters but distinctly different called H1N2, H3N1, etc. This is NOT the case with HSV, the 1 and 2 are ONLY indicative of the location of the herpes lesions on the body. They represent a POSITION, not a different GENOTYPE. I was making that point also to illustrate that because the virus is uniform, it infects ANY membraneous tissues and travels down the nerve to rest at the base of the spinal vertebrates, but most commonly (98% of cases) in either the Sacral vertebrate or the Cervical vertebrate. All of the nasty skin lesions aside, the idea that a virus is making a life long home for itself in your spinal ganglia is scary enough for me, but for those who dont know what that means, the other nastier sides of herpes should be a sufficient deterrent.

I also forgot to mention that condoms are basically useless against herpes, depending on the location of the lesions on the infected partner, especially for us guys who like to go BALLS DEEP! (is there any other way? haha)....

**Times Roman** · 12-05-2012, 07:00 PM

if you decide to be with her, you will probably eventually get it, IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE IT!!

Funny thing is you can have it and not know it. If your immune system is strong, it will fight off any outbreaks, yet still be carrying it. I had a GF over 25 years ago that had type2, and we had unprotected sex. I really didn't know much about it at the time. I suspect I'm a carrier, but i've never had an outbreak. And no one i've been with has caught it from me as best I know. I always thought you had to be with "sore" to be contagious. Am I wrong?

**Rwy** · 12-05-2012, 07:05 PM

I think not only is it when you have a sore but when shedding is occurring

I think what is pretty scary is how much non of us know about the virus and a big reason why so many people have it

**--->>405<<---** · 12-05-2012, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

if you decide to be with her, you will probably eventually get it, IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE IT!!

Funny thing is you can have it and not know it. If your immune system is strong, it will fight off any outbreaks, yet still be carrying it. I had a GF over 25 years ago that had type2, and we had unprotected sex. I really didn't know much about it at the time. I suspect I'm a carrier, but i've never had an outbreak. And no one i've been with has caught it from me as best I know. I always thought you had to be with "sore" to be contagious. Am I wrong?

kind of the impression i got TR. i had sex with a girl who had it but not while she had an outbreak and she had one while we were together. its been almost 20yrs and ive never had a porb..

**Rwy** · 12-05-2012, 07:09 PM

ok now i get it after readng somehting else online

the difference between 1 and 2 is also occurence in that area. So if you get 1 from oral sex on your genital chances are you will only break out once down there but can re occur on your mouth

**Times Roman** · 12-05-2012, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by --->>405<<---

kind of the impression i got TR. i had sex with a girl who had it but not while she had an outbreak and she had one while we were together. its been almost 20yrs and ive never had a porb..

i even had the korean experience, i was 18, dumb, and acted like a kid in a candy store when it came to the women there. never caught anything there either. other dudes caught the clap like every couuple of months. some people have strong immune systems, and others are just unlucky i guess.