help I am becoming a recluse

**DAAS** · 09-27-2013, 10:04 PM

So this past year of my life has been terrible. Slowly feel apart with the love of my life. Recently broke up with her, a lot of friends have turned two faced, I recently was jumped by strangers for no reason. I quit my job because I absolutely hated it. My bank account is ok, but its fading.

I recently got a new job that could be good so that is a plus.

But I find myself more and more reclusive. I used to be the life of the party now I don't want to go out at all. I dont wanna run into my ex at a bar.

I know this all sounds lame but I felt like the person I have always been(even through some really hard shit) has finally died. I don't know how to be me or what to be. I don't want to be around any one but I am lonely. Im not depressed, at least not like I ever have been before. I don't feel sad, just like I am a robot.

anything would help, support, how you might relate, advise...anything

**Fcastle357** · 09-27-2013, 10:13 PM

People go through phases in life. Your in a rut. A lot has changed from the sound of it. The thing to remember at least it is for me is that you will not find happiness in the mirror in a another person or in another job. From the sound of it you have lost your path. Take a moment to reexamine what makes you feel whole as a person and not what makes you feel happy. Happiness is fleeting but wholeness will carry to all areas of your life. Every day is a new chance to find your way. You will do it if you really want to. It sounds like you do.

**DAAS** · 09-27-2013, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by Fcastle357

People go through phases in life. Your in a rut. A lot has changed from the sound of it. The thing to remember at least it is for me is that you will not find happiness in the mirror in a another person or in another job. From the sound of it you have lost your path. Take a moment to reexamine what makes you feel whole as a person and not what makes you feel happy. Happiness is fleeting but wholeness will carry to all areas of your life. Every day is a new chance to find your way. You will do it if you really want to. It sounds like you do.

I mean a lot of it is typical heart break. This girl was amazing and I loved the crap out of her. She Obviously wasn't the one but there were a lot of things about her I have never seen in any other woman I have met.

But its weird I just feel dead. I have the ability to recognize that I don't feel right but I find it easy to just be alone. Obviously I need to get out, but all the people I know I dont want to see.

What do you mean do what makes you whole not what makes you happy?

**Fcastle357** · 09-27-2013, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by DAAS

I mean a lot of it is typical heart break. This girl was amazing and I loved the crap out of her. She Obviously wasn't the one but there were a lot of things about her I have never seen in any other woman I have met.

But its weird I just feel dead. I have the ability to recognize that I don't feel right but I find it easy to just be alone. Obviously I need to get out, but all the people I know I dont want to see.

What do you mean do what makes you whole not what makes you happy?

At the end of the day even if you have a wife and kids you go home to yourself. No one carries your feelings with them. You live your own life. What makes you feel fulfilled in your life. Take that and grow it. All the things that come and go in our lives aren't ours anyways. If you feel dead inside you might want to think about volunteering nothing feels better than helping someone else.

**Hazard** · 09-27-2013, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Fcastle357

At the end of the day even if you have a wife and kids you go home to yourself. No one carries your feelings with them. You live your own life. What makes you feel fulfilled in your life. Take that and grow it. All the things that come and go in our lives aren't ours anyways. If you feel dead inside you might want to think about volunteering nothing feels better than helping someone else.

Yup.....

I had a break from lifting and feel complete again now that I'm back. Sometimes life feels monotonous...... Day in and day out for me is bubble guppies and changing diapers. But I wouldn't feel complete without my daughter. Lifting is MY time. You can take my money..... My car..... My house..... But you can't take my body.

**Fcastle357** · 09-27-2013, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

Yup.....

I had a break from lifting and feel complete again now that I'm back. Sometimes life feels monotonous...... Day in and day out for me is bubble guppies and changing diapers. But I wouldn't feel complete without my daughter. Lifting is MY time. You can take my money..... My car..... My house..... But you can't take my body.

What would you do if for some reason you could never lift again? I have thought about this a lot. Just curious.

**Hazard** · 09-27-2013, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by Fcastle357

What would you do if for some reason you could never lift again? I have thought about this a lot. Just curious.

No clue..... Better have lots of money lol.

**crazy mike** · 09-27-2013, 11:10 PM

I know you don't want to hear this crap. However you are young. This too will pass.
Listen, I had a complete clinical breakdown at age 27 related to a love. In time like you will, get through I got through. You will also. Ha easier said then done, right ! Keep your focus on the gym or something of your interest. Stay around others as much as you can. It all will come back, it will. You have so much time in your life to live.

Take one day at a time, by admitting to yourself your not doing good or need to change in some way, you then can think rationally and work on the problem each new day. Each day do something even if it is only one thing. The one thing will grow into another day of recovery. Good luck. ...crazy mike

**pasha** · 09-28-2013, 12:08 AM

yea i can totally relate to you.. me and my ex broke up two years ago.. im getting better now but still lost... i feel i dont know how to do anything on my own.. going to the gym is good to focus on yourself and your thoughts and rage.. but some members here on site wrote one time that "bodybuilding is the loneliest lifestyle" and i agree.. i feel that this lifestyle is for the few.. and sometimes i feel that the more disciplined you are about your lifestyle the less you can relate to other people.. normal people... hang in there bro, we're gonna make it!

**moseley2004** · 09-28-2013, 12:10 AM

I reckon you should get over it and man up my friend!

**Honkey_Kong** · 09-28-2013, 01:28 AM

DAAS, you should go hit up a couple bars tomorrow night (it's a little late right now) and go by yourself. Force yourself to go up to every chick in that place and your goal is to take one (or two) home. Getting a little pootie tang is what you need, my friend. I've yet to meet somebody didn't feel better AFTER they got laid.

**DAAS** · 09-28-2013, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong

DAAS, you should go hit up a couple bars tomorrow night (it's a little late right now) and go by yourself. Force yourself to go up to every chick in that place and your goal is to take one (or two) home. Getting a little pootie tang is what you need, my friend. I've yet to meet somebody didn't feel better AFTER they got laid.

haha I know that tang help a lot. haha its kinda crazy how much it helps, but I guess its just biology. I've never enjoyed one night stands but I think it would help.

**DAAS** · 09-28-2013, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by crazy mike

I know you don't want to hear this crap. However you are young. This too will pass.
Listen, I had a complete clinical breakdown at age 27 related to a love. In time like you will, get through I got through. You will also. Ha easier said then done, right ! Keep your focus on the gym or something of your interest. Stay around others as much as you can. It all will come back, it will. You have so much time in your life to live.

Take one day at a time, by admitting to yourself your not doing good or need to change in some way, you then can think rationally and work on the problem each new day. Each day do something even if it is only one thing. The one thing will grow into another day of recovery. Good luck. ...crazy mike

thanks mike. I am not as young as my profile says Idk why it doesn't update. But I did join a hockey league to stay busy and be around new people. What are your thoughts on cycling? Its been like 4 months since my last if not more. I think it will bring my confidence way up but at the same time idk how I feel about cycling right when I start my new job.

**>Good Luck<** · 09-28-2013, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by DAAS

thanks mike. I am not as young as my profile says Idk why it doesn't update. But I did join a hockey league to stay busy and be around new people. What are your thoughts on cycling? Its been like 4 months since my last if not more. I think it will bring my confidence way up but at the same time idk how I feel about cycling right when I start my new job.

If you cycled 4 months ago it sounds like you may not have recovered yet. Are you on trt or do u only cycle and pct? Maybe some bw is in your best interest.

Either way I hope you feel better soon. Never nice to hear someone is down in any way

**DAAS** · 09-28-2013, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by >Good Luck<

If you cycled 4 months ago it sounds like you may not have recovered yet. Are you on trt or do u only cycle and pct? Maybe some bw is in your best interest.

Either way I hope you feel better soon. Never nice to hear someone is down in any way

yeah I could get some bw, but i feel I was fully recovered before the break up. pct ended 4 months ago. so itf time off equals time on plus pct then I am good. Ill get some bw though just to be sure

**Flagg** · 10-02-2013, 03:58 AM

Nothing worse than feeling like a ghost in your own body.

I would start by eliminating all the negatives in your life, whether they be people or habits.

**Euroholic** · 10-02-2013, 05:26 AM

Sounds like your in a rut. Why don't you move countries or go on a holiday a radical change should do you some good. Single life is better anyway mate. You don't need negative people in your life dragging you down. Chin up mate she'll be right!!!!!!

**>Good Luck<** · 10-02-2013, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by Euroholic

Sounds like your in a rut. Why don't you move countries or go on a holiday a radical change should do you some good. Single life is better anyway mate. You don't need negative people in your life dragging you down. Chin up mate she'll be right!!!!!!

Geographical change is hardly ever beneficial. It removes the person from the problem and not the problems from the person. I believe in facing your problems and always starting new milestones in life with a clear mind and conscience. Simply moving just puts a person out of reach with support systems (family and friends) when lifes circumstances change for the better and one is ready to employ those supports. I beleive op will be fine but these things take time to happen and making "radical" decissions or changes opens the possibility of regret and disconnecting temporarily from the root problem. Short term fix...not good imho.

**redz** · 10-02-2013, 11:04 AM

Reality is what you make it. Tell yourself what you want in life. I have changed my life so much it's scary. I love my life and 18 months ago nothing was how it is now. I've got a great job and woman in my life.

**Bert** · 10-07-2013, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Reality is what you make it. Tell yourself what you want in life. I have changed my life so much it's scary. I love my life and 18 months ago nothing was how it is now. I've got a great job and woman in my life.

I'm jealous of you.