How to shower: Men Vs. Women

[austinite]

Oldie but a goodie...

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long bathrobe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs

12. Turn off shower

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long bathrobe and towel on head.


How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in >a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face

6. Wash your armpits

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.

[warchild]

hahahahaha so true soo true

[DSM4Life]

I def do the shake my wiener part everytime!

[DeadlyD]

Exactly!! Haha

[MuscleInk]

OMG - this made me laugh so hard!!!!
Love #2....."Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound."

[MickeyKnox]

I def do the shake my wiener part everytime!

at your wife?

[DSM4Life]

at your wife?

I

Sometimes I treat him like a wife.

[Armykid93]

Lol this is so damn funny

[jasc]

hahahaha soo true

[Renesis]

hahahahahah woo woo!

[frank13]

after reading that i found out i shower like a woman

[GirlyGymRat]

omgosh...i can't stop laughing. I am gonna have to steal this!!!

[MuscleInk]

omgosh...i can't stop laughing. I am gonna have to steal this!!!

Ya I'm thinking this is about to become a Facebook post!!!! Lol

[AXx]

I read this to my family, is was laughing so hard while reading it you couldn't even understand me, that's some funny stuff.

LMAO

[Super-Chump]

woo-woo!!!

[lovbyts]

Hmmm well what if you are a mix of the two? I'm the one who has 4 baskets in my closet for clothes. Whites, red, color and dark. I Dont leave hair on soap (GROSS) and I dont use the same cloth on my armpits, butt as I do my face. lol. Peeing in the shower is a no no. Not enough hair to make a mow hawk. I put shower doors on so no water on the floor and if there is I clean it up with an old towel. I'm also the one who rinses off all the walls and wash the doors while I'm in the shower.

I do wear a towel and not a robe and Woo Woo at the wife.

[austinite]

Hmmm well what if you are a mix of the two? I'm the one who has 4 baskets in my closet for clothes. Whites, red, color and dark. I Dont leave hair on soap (GROSS) and I dont use the same cloth on my armpits, butt as I do my face. lol. Peeing in the shower is a no no. Not enough hair to make a mow hawk. I put shower doors on so no water on the floor and if there is I clean it up with an old towel. I'm also the one who rinses off all the walls and wash the doors while I'm in the shower.

I do wear a towel and not a robe and Woo Woo at the wife.

So long as you do the Woo Woo sound, that qualifies you as male shower-er.

[HitIt]

do girls pee in the shower? GGR?

[SexySweetheart]

wow that has funny!!!
oh my lordy I cant stop giggeling!!

[DSM4Life]

do girls pee in the shower? GGR?

A girl I know does. She told me why waste water flushing the toilet right before I'm going to get in the shower?

[HitIt]

A girl I know does. She told me why waste water flushing the toilet right before I'm going to get in the shower?

i would have high fived her

[AdrenalineJunkie]

The men have more steps to their process. This cannot be possible. I think austinite just edited out all the non lady like things they do but dont want to admit. As mentioned, peeing in the shower for example!

Edit: I realize austinite is not the creator of this. So scratch what I said. Durr

[gearbox]

The girls I know pee in the shower!

[jasc]

Females should not be allowed to pee in the shower.. they were not anatomically created for this like us males were.

When a woman squats to pee in the shower, her feet are at risk of getting splashed due to the close proximity of the stream.

Us men on the other hand can stand at the back of the shower n precisely arc our stream towards the drain, therefore allowing our feet a safe "splash-free" distance.

Sorry ladies.. the proof is in the design..

[AdrenalineJunkie]

I bet ladies have found a method to put them outside the splash zone. If sea world can do it, so can they.

[AuSSie SpuDD]

Haha lmfao. This just made my week.

[MuscleInk]

The girls I know pee in the shower!

I've had girls pee on ME in the shower. Maybe they're just marking their territory?????

[gearbox]

I believe so. And I have been in the splash zone I few times.

[DSM4Life]

I've golden showered a willing party.

[MuscleInk]

I've golden showered a willing party.

Quite the experience especially when it's reciprocal.

....wow this thread is digressing quickly!!!! Lol

[GirlyGymRat]

do girls pee in the shower? GGR?

uh, yes....it can happen, so I have been told

I would like to belive there is so much precision with one design over the other, but not so sure all males execute with as much precision as described above, or so I have been told

male design cannot be considered superior for lack of splash back as females tend to be more agile and flexible then the male counterpoint...so the design of the female doesn't necessarily cause the "splash back" in the way in which described or so I have been told.

BTW....did u guys know the reason most people are men who die at the grand canyon....heat exhaustion, nope
eaten by cougars...not.....exposure to the elements....wrong!!! BUT if u guessed that the males species has a desire to mark their territory like dogs, then perhaps you would know how important it is to see where the pee falls....and here is when men lean just alittle too far over the side of the canyon and slip and fall and die. or so I have read

[GirlyGymRat]

I've had girls pee on ME in the shower. Maybe they're just marking their territory?????

ewhhhh yuk!

[Vettester]

BTW....did u guys know the reason most people are men who die at the grand canyon....heat exhaustion, nope
eaten by cougars...not.....exposure to the elements....wrong!!! BUT if u guessed that the males species has a desire to mark their territory like dogs, then perhaps you would know how important it is to see where the pee falls....and here is when men lean just alittle too far over the side of the canyon and slip and fall and die. or so I have read

If the cougars are smart, they just wait at the bottom of the canyons waiting for the guys to hit bottom. If you see a puma with a yellow stripe on it's head, you now know how it got there.

[Gambolputty]

You forgot the step where the females bitch out the males for:

body pubes left on soap

special, expensive, hand made, organic, vegan, dairy free lavender scented soap used to scrub ass.

lid left up on toilet

[MuscleInk]

ewhhhh yuk!

Ya that's what I thought at first.....not so much any more!

[gixxerboy1]

The best way to shower is together

[Hunter]

The best way to shower is together

I would agree with that.

[lovbyts]

Ya that's what I thought at first.....not so much any more!

I though it was just a Filipino thing, I guess not. LOL I had to educate mine that was not acceptable especially when I am in the shower also unless turn around is fair game and I pee on her feet. lol Now I just bring it up to embarrass her.

Do guys really leave hair on the soap? That would gross me out even if it was my own and there is NO reason to put a bar of soap near your a$$. Dont you guys use wash clothes for your body??? using your hand or the bar of soap does very little to get dirt off. Personally I like the scrub gloves most of the time and then a nice moisturizing soap for the 2nd wash to leave the skin more soft.

Now you know why all the Asian girls dont believe I'm almost 50. LOL

[HighTest31]

I love these types of comparisons! Going to have to try peeing in teh shower. It all goes out the same way right?

[oscarjones]

I usually do the man one, and before TRT I would do the woman one during PCT.