Family Guy favorite Quotes!!!

**Red Ketchup** · 06-04-2003, 09:35 PM

Well, I like the simpsons, but for me the funniest damm show on TV was Family Guy.

Oh and before the quotes... here is some FG news for the fans out there!!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

Sales of the recent Family Guy Volume 1 DVD in the US has promoted Fox to reconsider the future of the show. Good ratings on the Cartoon Network have also helped. Seth MacFarlane has now spoken of a direct to DVD feature length episode of the show. Checkout this news article from TV Shows On DVD for more information.

Basically if you want to see Family Guy return buy the DVDs and watch Family Guy again and again on the Cartoon Network weeknights at 11.30pm. Victory could still be ours!

Rob

**Red Ketchup** · 06-04-2003, 09:40 PM

Stewie Griffin: No sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!

Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

Peter Griffin: I know you're a feminist and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man!

Lois: What's going on?
Stewie: We're playing house.
Lois: The boy is all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

[At a job interview]
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter Griffin: [Thinking to himself "Don't say doing your wife! Don't say doing your wife!"] Doing your, uh, son...

Red

**redrock** · 06-04-2003, 09:47 PM

National Gun Associaton safety video:
"...and remember, guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do."

**Red Ketchup** · 06-04-2003, 10:01 PM

I love the name of Peter's boat

"S.S. More Powerful than Superman, Batman, Spiderman and the Incredible Hulk Put Together. "

Quagmire [after seeing girl all tied up in a bathroom stall] Dear diary, ...JACKPOT!

Stewie: i didn't know biscuit as a dog...but i knew her as a table. she was a good coffee table, sturdy, all four legs the same length.

Youngh student - Why did the dinsaurs go extinct?
Teacher - because you touch yourself at night

Peter - so chris starts talking with all this yo yo yo stuff, so i beat him with a hose then my arm got tired so i came here...

Lois: Peter you know I'm not wearing any underwear...
Peter: Oh, thats okay Lois. We can always throw that chair out.

Red

**BigGreen** · 06-05-2003, 05:04 AM

Talking about his wheel chair bound neighbor:

"My kids worship the ground he can't walk on"

**jeffylyte** · 06-05-2003, 12:07 PM

family guy kicks ass. other than sports the only show i watch are futurama and family guy on TOON. im addicted. both are hilarious. a friend of mine runs a FG fansite. ill ask him the address and post it. as for favorite quote.

The dog: that reminds me of the story in the bible where god tells abraham to kill isaac.

cut away to see abraham lincoln shoot isaac from the loveboat.

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 12:59 PM

The evil monkey in chris' closet kills me!

I also loved the Chumba Wombas (Umpa Lumpa knockoff) in the beer factory!

Chumba wumba gobledy goo, life isn't fair it's sad but it's true.
chumba wumba gobledy gee, when your poor legs are stiff as a tree.
What do you do when you're stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs?
What do you think of the one you call God?
Isn't his absence slight.. ly... odd?
Maybe he's forgotten you!
Chumba wumba gobledy gorse,
count yourself lucky you're not a horse.
they would turn you into dog food
or to chumba wumba gobledy glue!

Red

**That Kid** · 06-05-2003, 02:44 PM

Famil Guy got canceled after they did a show w/ bin laden in an airport... so therefore i dont think i its possible to bring it back (new episodes). still it is the funniest show ever on television.

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by That Kid
Famil Guy got canceled after they did a show w/ bin laden in an airport... so therefore i dont think i its possible to bring it back (new episodes). still it is the funniest show ever on television.

Actually that has nothing at all to do with the cancellation... The bin laden scene was in season 2 (way before most Americans had even heard of him) and the show had 3 full seasons. And in reruns, the binladen scene was cut out.

The real reason is that the tight asses at FOX did noy want the show from day one. They thought it was too "risqué" and offensive.

From day one they did everything to kill the show... they changed it's time slot almost monthly, and made sure to put it up against impossible shows to match on other networks (like Friends and stuff).

After 3 years they finally managed to kill off Family Guy, yet they cannot explain why it's making a killing in syndication and sales of their DVD's are just insane.

Go FOX go...

Red

**BigGreen** · 06-05-2003, 03:37 PM

Gahd Damn that show was just kick ass...if there's ever been a funnier plot then a father finding out his son his hung like a horse and getting all worked up about it, I don't want to know about it!

**flexgolf** · 06-05-2003, 04:11 PM

the penis envy episode

Chris "meheh those are some small bananas"
Peter "Why you little bastard"

**Money Boss Hustla** · 06-05-2003, 09:01 PM

I think the funniest thing ever was during the opening scene...

they're watching '8 is Enough'

Dad: "Maybe I'll make him a sandwich"
Daughter: "Oh Daddy that's your solution to everything...make a sandwich."

The Dad looks over and her and gets pissed off then start slapping the hell out of her...the Mom comes running in and stops the Dad and says "8's enough!"

I pissed myself the first time I saw that one.

**Money Boss Hustla** · 06-05-2003, 09:03 PM

Judge: The Jury finds Peter Griffin guilty and to be sentenced to death.
Peter: Oh no!
Lois: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!

Coolaide Man (as he bursts through the wall): Oh yeah!

**Money Boss Hustla** · 06-05-2003, 09:12 PM

Guy #1: What do you say about happy hour?
Guy #2: I'd say Cheryl will have another black eye to explain.

Hahaha!

I'm sure I'm not being exact with the quotes or names.

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 09:43 PM

The coolaid dude scene had me laughing so hard my damm lungs hurt!

Red

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 10:03 PM

In the spring break episode:
A rabbi and a priest walking in a bar...
- Rabbi "Hey, did you hear the one about us?"

Red

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 10:10 PM

Peter: How am I going to come up with fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow?
Quagmire: Well, you could hoar yourself out to a thousand fat chicks for fifty bucks a piece! Or or fifty really fat chicks for a thousand bucks! What? Don't look at me like that! Fat chicks need love too! But they got to pay!

**Red Ketchup** · 06-05-2003, 10:43 PM

Some of the better lines from the banned Weinstein episode.

Weinstein: Lois I appreciate the marshmellow and fish casserole... but I'm sorry, I can't eat this.
Lois: Awww because it's not kosher?
Weinstein: Hmmm yeah let's go with that.

Stewie: And what university did you go to Lois? The university of duuuuuuh!?

William Shatner: Oh fiddler on the roof, sounds crazy no? But here in our little village of anatempka, you might say each one of us... *shudder* KHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAN! KHHHHHHHHAN!!!!

**solid-d** · 06-06-2003, 11:27 AM

Flashback when the adults are little kids...(little griffins)

Quagmire : " just thinking of lois makes my testicals want to drop..(pause)Opps, speak of the devil. Make that devils"

**solid-d** · 06-06-2003, 11:29 AM

another funny scene, was when the baby put a mind control devise on chris, and sent him into a store... Then chris was like, "no I dont have a dollar, where would I keep it, in my diaper."