Favorite Jokes

[Times Roman]

Ok. Let's see 'em! =)

[Times Roman]

Three blokes walk into a bar

Admin, a mod, and a vet..........

[ngtmarpete]

Little boy and his father are walking down the street. Little boy notices a couple of prostitues up ahead. Goes to his dad and ask " dad, can I $20 for a blow job?

Dad goes " I don't know son, it depends on how good you are."

[Times Roman]

and the bartender brings them a plate with a steaming pile of dog shit on it.........

[Times Roman]

So admin says....

"My lord. that is the fowlest looking gawdawful pile of shit I've ever seen"

[Times Roman]

[bikeral]

TR Dukkit and Hazard walk into a bar........

[Black]

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to suck my d!ck.

[Cone]

Did you see the fog the other day?

Mist it.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum

[lovbyts]

Redz...

Enough said.

[trikydik]

A smart blonde, santa claus and the easter bunny are walking down the street. They each see a $50 bill lying on the ground.... who picks it up?

No one does, none of the 3 exist!

[Times Roman]

...and then the Mod says

"Holy Hell. That is the nastiest smelling pile of dog shit I've ever smelled"

[probuild42]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

[mikey hulk]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe

[joebailey1271]

What position produces the ugliest kids?

[joebailey1271]

[What position produces the ugliest kids?


IDK, ask your mother

[Times Roman]

...and then the Vet looked up and said...

"Mates, look on the bright side. It doesn't taste nearly as bad as it looks"

[Capebuffalo]

Two guys, were sitting on a porch watching a dog out in the yard lick himself. One guy turns to the other and says I wish I could do that. The other guy says that dog would bite you.

[David LoPan]

...and then the Vet looked up and said...

"Mates, look on the bright side. It doesn't taste nearly as bad as it looks"

What? No two girls and one cup?

[derekkpapa1]

What's does a blonde and a screen door have in common

[derekkpapa1]

The harder you slam them the looser they get

Just ask redz

[David LoPan]

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'

[derekkpapa1]

this is very bad but wtf and sorry if I offend anyone here u go--

Guy walks into drug goes up to pharmacist and says I need a dozen of condoms for my 11 year daughter.
The pharmacist is surprised and says wow your 11 year daughter is active already?
Guy says no she is not active she just lays there like her mother

[austinite]

How did Times Roman make it to the gym back in the day?

He didn't. He took the gym with him everywhere he went. Literally.

(true story)

[trikydik]

Years ago, when I was in business, I had a secretary named Donna, who was very, very pregnant. Although she was going to have a single baby girl, it looked as if she were going to have triplets.

A little girl, about four years old standing on tiptoe on the other side of the counter, was just staring at Donna in wonderment. Finally the little girl dramatically pointed at Donna's abdomen and exclaimed loudly, "What's that?"

Donna, somewhat embarrassed, explained politely to the little girl, "I'm pregnant. That means that I am going to have a baby, a girl, and it will grow up to be just like you."

The little girl asked, "Didn't you love the baby?"

Donna replied. "Of course I love the baby."

The little girl then exclaimed, "If you love the baby, why did you eat it?"

[Times Roman]

How did Times Roman make it to the gym back in the day?

He didn't. He took the gym with him everywhere he went. Literally.

(true story)

true... true....

but in my defense, there were not gyms all over town like there are today

[David LoPan]

How do you get a nun pregnant?


You FvCK her, duh

[David LoPan]

true... true....

but in my defense, there were not gyms all over town like there are today

Was it the gym that Chuck Norris sells?

[Times Roman]

this is very bad but wtf and sorry if I offend anyone here u go--

Guy walks into drug goes up to pharmacist and says I need a dozen of condoms for my 11 year daughter.
The pharmacist is surprised and says wow your 11 year daughter is active already?
Guy says no she is not active she just lays there like her mother

oh fawk!

.........that is one ROTTEN joke!

(ya perv)

[trikydik]