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Thread: Starting again after a long term relationship

  1. #1
    DAAS's Avatar
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    Starting again after a long term relationship

    So in a few weeks it'll be a year since I got out of my last relationship. It was a long term 2.5 years, and its been the only relationship were I truly loved the girl. (Bought a ring)

    So never mind what happened ( there are other threads I think) I've start to see a new girl. The only thing is is i managed to eventually go with out thinking or dreaming about my ex at all, but now that i'm seeing some one new I dream about my ex and now I think about her during the day.
    Its like I got over her but my subconscious hasn't.

    My question is do you think this is a sign I am not ready to talk to someone new? Or that this is an inevitable transition stage?

    Also I find myself being super critical of all the new girls qualities. Like I look at her shopping habits and ask if this is something I want to deal with, like because it may be a problem 5 years from now..? Is being hypercritical good? I've never dealt with moving on from love but its been a year and I think i need to figure this out.

  2. #2
    Hoggage_54's Avatar
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    Stats and cycle history?
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    You're not ready for Steroids .

    You need to just date and go out with other girls. It may take you a lifetime to get over her. I dated a girl 15 years ago that I never got over and still think of from time to time. That said, you need to realize you're not getting back with your ex so you need to move on. Don't hyper focus on things with the new girls that are different from what your ex did. There is a reason that she is your ex and not your current gf or wife.

    Looking back at my situation the girl that I never got over was not a good match for me. I've been married for 10 years now and my wife is truly amazing and I'm thankful things never worked out with the other girl.

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    derekkpapa1's Avatar
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    What ever happened with the oil field job?
    Did you move?

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    austinite is offline HRT Specialist ~ AR-Platinum Elite-Hall of Famer ~
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    F'er right in the ******.
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

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    haha. Nice one Drewz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoggage_54
    Stats and cycle history?
    Blalahahhahahah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoggage_54 View Post
    Stats and cycle history?
    I think you meant Stats(Age,Sex,Location) and Dating history?

    Hahaha sorry DAAS

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    ^ Dang, you still on AOL chatrooms?
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    When you've spent 2.5 years thinking about someone constantly and loved them it's hard to just stop thinking about them on the spot. It will probably take a good amount of time to stop thinking of them in that way. There is a saying that "Time heals all" because it's true. You're more than ready to start seeing someone else especially if deep down you know that this is over for good with her. This probably won't be your only relationship until you find the person that you'll marry, so it's more than normal to be hypocritical because you're nervous.

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    If you loved her then you will never stop thinking about here. That does not mean you cant love someone else and think about here even more. I think there is a movie on that with Jim Carey where he and his GF has their memories removed of their relationship?

    I still think about my 1st GF who I dated back in 1981 - 1983 almost daily. I still think about my last real heartbreak girlfriend I dated 2005 - 2006 in Thailand.

    I think it's pretty normal.
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    ^ Dang, you still on AOL chatrooms?
    You've got mail!
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrewZ View Post
    You've got mail!
    That was a stellar movie.... haha

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    Yeah, I'm kinda thinking that ill always think about her, even when I know that we aren't ever or should ever be together again. It just I keep meeting some pretty attractive, fairly good woman. (Currently On my First Asian who buys me stuff and makes me dinner) yet I have no attachment to them. I'm just doing everything I can to move on and it ain't happening very easily. Maybe she'll just be that one who got away. Blah.

    Jim carry movie is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    Quote Originally Posted by lovbyts View Post
    If you loved her then you will never stop thinking about here. That does not mean you cant love someone else and think about here even more. I think there is a movie on that with Jim Carey where he and his GF has their memories removed of their relationship?

    I still think about my 1st GF who I dated back in 1981 - 1983 almost daily. I still think about my last real heartbreak girlfriend I dated 2005 - 2006 in Thailand.

    I think it's pretty normal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by davidtheman100 View Post
    When you've spent 2.5 years thinking about someone constantly and loved them it's hard to just stop thinking about them on the spot. It will probably take a good amount of time to stop thinking of them in that way. There is a saying that "Time heals all" because it's true. You're more than ready to start seeing someone else especially if deep down you know that this is over for good with her. This probably won't be your only relationship until you find the person that you'll marry, so it's more than normal to be hypocritical because you're nervous.
    I kinda have a feeling this girl is just going to help me move on from my last. Which sucks because she is cool, but I am being open about my feelings with her.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derekjpapa View Post
    What ever happened with the oil field job?
    Did you move?
    Guy keeps delaying. Not holding my breathe at this point. Kept my current job and actually have already got 2 raises in 50 days. Still chump change in the grande scheme considering my goals in life. Maybe I should lower my expectations, then ill be more satisfied.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DAAS View Post
    Guy keeps delaying. Not holding my breathe at this point. Kept my current job and actually have already got 2 raises in 50 days. Still chump change in the grande scheme considering my goals in life. Maybe I should lower my expectations, then ill be more satisfied.
    Aim for the stars so if you fall you land on the clouds

  19. #19
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    DSM and sholva will help you stop thinking about her.
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