Tubular Tendencies

[Nathan]

Picture a world without tubes of any kind. Now picture yourself skipping through an elaborate garden in that world, wearing nothing but a pair of yellow rainboots and licking contentedly at a large strawberry lollipop. You can't do it can you? That's because a world without tubes is a world without joy.
Straws would no longer exist, that's for damn sure. Preliminary estimates have shown that without straws, peoples' ability to suck things would be reduced by a whopping 75%.
Without tubes, our sewer systems would be fundamentally flawed and our feces would have no where to go. We'd probably be reduced to finding creative places to hide our excrement, such as playgrounds and liposuction clinics.
The entire spectrum of Mario Brothers' games would no longer exist as we know them. We would be reduced to finding new and exciting things to tie our genitals to for amusement. Thousands upon thousands of people would be forced to take up caligraphy to pass the time, thus resulting in the consequent dismissal of those individuals from society because caligraphy is for homos.
*Insert conclusion here.*


Clearly, I'm really bored.

[BigGreen]

Originally posted by Nathan
Without tubes, our sewer systems would be fundamentally flawed and our feces would have no where to go. We'd probably be reduced to finding creative places to hide our excrement, such as playgrounds and liposuction clinics.

Now I'm no big city lawyer or fancy scientisterologist, but I'd wager that in your tubeless world, liposcution clinics, at least as we know them, would cease to exist much like sewer systems. Therefore, it would henceforth and accordingly be inherently and necessarily impossible to hide our exrement in such an imaginary place. It is at this point, the fatal paradox in your previously sound logic summarily revealed (indeed the emperor has no clothes...though without tubes, there can be no septor and hence no emperor...but i digress) that I suspect your essence will begin to cave in upon itself, imploding in some intellectual accident gone awry, essentially reducing you to, ironically enough, some tube-like matter with no soul.

[The Butcher]

At first I thought Nathan was easily the strangest bird on this board. However, Big Green is clearly a close second if not neck and neck for goofy. Nathan comes up with the off-the-wall topics. Big Green takes them to another level.

[Cycleon]

Nathan - I am surprised that a research institute has not kidnapped you - exploring the depths of your myriad psycosis would keep a psychiatric ward funded for decades

[sin]

man you crack me up! keep posting stuff like this so i can read it. btw you forgot to mention tube steak, if there was none my girlfriend would hate me.