Desperately seeking advice - recovery post surgery with complications

[limping]

Hello - total newbie here. You can skip the long story below by just reading that I've had four knee surgeries over the past 29 months, and rehab has just been a total failure. I'm 30 years old and staring at the prospect of walking with a limp for the rest of my life, and I'll pretty much do anything to avoid that.

Long story
Tore ACL, allograft surgery October 2007 - PT was unsuccessful, so I went in for second surgery 5/08 to remove scar tissue (cyclops lesion). That surgery was botched, caused a systemic staph infection that nearly proved fatal. Bad times. Third surgery 9 days later to wash out the joint and kill the infection. 8 weeks with a PICC line in my arm, three months on another planet from oxycontin, crutches, the whole shebang. PT proves unsucessful for the next 14 months, so we do a fourth surgery in August 2009 to clean up additional scar tissue.

The graft is strong, I have an endpoint, etc. The problem is that throughout rehab, my physical therapists (I went through about 8 of them over 2.5 years) failed to diagnose the primary problem: the VMO (Vastus medialis) never strengthened properly. I was single leg pressing 400 pounds (I know, I know, that's diddlysquat for most guys here, but I've never been a heavy lifter) on the "bad" leg, but it was just my hammies and glutes compensating. Finally I'm working with a good PT (the guys who did Jerry Rice's ACL rehab) and they just say that after nearly 30 months of weakness, the VMO is really slow to grow and get bigger, and I just have to keep working at it, keep strengthening them, and be patient.

The problem is, I've been patient for 30 months. I'm still doing quad sets and leg lifts, which is what they have you doing two weeks post-op. I'm going crazy - and I don't mean that in the colloquial sense, like "oh, my mother in law is driving me crazy" - I mean very seriously that day after day after day after day after day of doing the same exercises and seeing no change in my body is making me *lose my ****ing grip on reality.* It's like waking up in a sci fi movie; this reality doesn't make any sense to me, where I'm 30 years old and my body has lost all capacity to heal itself, or respond to exercise and therapy.
End Long Story



So I'm willing to try anything. I am - or, I should say, I was before this 2.5 year nightmare began - an athlete, played some low level pro ball, but I'm not a serious weightlifter. I've never really wanted to get a ridiculous physique, I just want to walk down stairs without it hurting and play baseball again. My quad muscle has just fundamentally stopped responding to traditional treatment, and I'm at the end of my rope.

I'm 30 years old, about 220 pounds (roughly 10-15 overweight), 5'11". I'm in this last gasp effort to fix my knee, because if it doesn't happen in 2010, it'll probably never happen, so I'm eating a strict diet, working out religiously, gave up booze/desserts/etc.

I'm not afraid of needles at all, but I do have a hard time imagining injecting myself, because that's the kind of thing I would kind of want to trust to a trained pro. I'm just north of the Bay Area, so Mexico is a short flight away.

I've read through the threads here, and I kind of apologize for starting a "look at me" newbie thread... I'm just in a unique situation with unusual (ie highly specific to the VMO) goals, and I just don't know what to do. The only thing I do know is that things that I would never have considered a few years ago are now on the table, because I'm just goddamned terrified of what happens next if I can't get the VMO to, you know, actually grow stronger.

Any advice as to the what and more importantly the how would be greatly appreciated.

[Vitruvian-Man]

I would look into GH (human growth hormone ) -- hopefully you have a bit of disposable income at the moment, because it's pricey.

I would still talk to your doctor about the prospect of GH if you decide on it.

-VM

[limping]

Ok, follow up question then: All of the routines involving GH seem to involve daily injections. Is there any way around that? I feel like I could probably work up the nerve to stick myself once a month, or even once a week, but doing it daily would probably require a lot more comfort with needles than I have right now. Is there just no way around it?

[EXSEAL1]

Its a piece of cake and just first time jitters. GH is very very expensive because it is the fountain of youth and the powers that be know it... Now as a medical professional.....

Many times doctors rush to get patients into P.T. because of the risk of addiction to pain killers. I think you have some scar tissue which is leading to the pain. Research your surgeon bro. You guys have no idea how much most docs don't care. I could recommend a couple. I work with brilliant docs who know guys in your area. I think the surgery will fix the problem just sucks its been so long in pain.... so sorry. Also I recommend a Tens Unit. Google it if you don't know what they are. Do your own threapy and it might help a little bit more. I'd love to have your X-Rays.. My best friend is a great ortho doc. Shit maybe fly out here for the surgery so I can assist...lol... Please hit me up with any medical questions man, please....best