18 years old I'm in serious mental stress i think I just fumed up my life with AAS

[ifkedup]

almost 4 months ago near the start of my first semester i got roomed with a long time friend for college he is pretty jacked and i thought he was well knowledged in lifting and i knew he took gear. I have done track for a few years am pretty lean and just do push ups pull ups and squats every few days to keep in shape. But just to be straight forward and no being you guys i asked him about gear and i wanted to get on because I'm a dumbass know it all and i pray to god every day that i can just rewind the clock and look up 5 mins on these forums on potential side effects but of course..


(although i'm about to sound sure of my cycle believe me until i started having problems and found all this info out i literally could not even spell testosterone )

anyways my friend put me on test e at about 600/week literally a couple of drops of letro ED, no hcg

about 2 1/2 months in iv packed some good size even tho i just did push ups pull ups and bw squats, but i noticed one day i tried to fap as long as i could but i just could not get hard or in the mood. i started panicking and told my friend but he just told me to get off cycle and start taking nolvadex . finally I grew a little bit of brain and searched online and found these forums, i quickly learned how to properly get off so i waited 2 weeks for the t to clear then started climid and nolvadex at 100/100/100/50 40/40/20/20/20 and I'm on my last day now

I still have zero drive and it takes me forever to finish and I'm reading the steroid and underage thread and I'm srsly freaking out. I can't imagine living life trapped by trt, or if i will ever have libido again. I'm not joking iv been waking up in my sleep in the middle of the night just praying that everything was a dream. Im sorry i fuked up like an idiot and I just want to go back to normal I'm not a true bodybuilder fukkk

[ifkedup]

btw I did a blood test ( I know the important one is 6 weeks post pct) on the advice to see if my testes are responding to lh and producing enough testosterone in accordance (that's what i read)

so i should have my end of pct blood work tomorrow or after tomorrow

[73rr]

Recover can take some time buddy. The best thing to do is not to stress out. Being on for 2 1/2 months your system has shut down completely

Good thinking getting off and all though your pct is a little high. At least u did one.

[ifkedup]

Recover can take some time buddy. The best thing to do is not to stress out. Being on for 2 1/2 months your system has shut down completely

Good thinking getting off and all though your pct is a little high. At least u did one.

today was the last day of pct so its over now. i know it was higher but i just want to be normal again fuk i use to fap 3x a day and had life all planned out an was happy, now i look back and can't believe how good my life was and i probably ruined my life before it really begun

[MrFreshmaker]

today was the last day of pct so its over now. i know it was higher but i just want to be normal again fuk i use to fap 3x a day and had life all planned out an was happy, now i look back and can't believe how good my life was and i probably ruined my life before it really begun

With the stress,you're hurting yourself more!Give it time,it's too early to think you screwed yourself up.Even PCT causes ED and loss of libido,so just give it more time!

[73rr]

Yea for real man. Take a deep breath. Take a long hot shower and go on with your life as much as u can. Stress is no good!

[bullshark99]

Hey man you screwed up, screwed up good but your not the Lone Ranger. More than likely you will recover just fine in time. The key word here, as been stated is in "time". Recovery is not an automatic/overnite process. No exact or set time but recovery could take 90-180 days, nobody knows.
Could also be much quicker, you need to relax and be patient, it will work out fine. Many young guys don't figure it out til they do 3-4 maybe even more cycles with multiple compounds. You understand AAS are serious biz and not as sexy and glamouis as advertised.
Be patient kid, sorry you had to learn the hard way but statistically the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor.

[parkra]

btw I did a blood test ( I know the important one is 6 weeks post pct) on the advice to see if my testes are responding to lh and producing enough testosterone in accordance (that's what i read)

so i should have my end of pct blood work tomorrow or after tomorrow

Curious on results, keep us posted on post pct bloodwork as well

[TheTaxMan]

Dont panic

PCT isnt recovery, its a kickstart to recovery.

Time is recovery.

I ran a test and deca cycle at 23years old and couldnt get an erection for about 2 months after it, stress made it worse, all of a sudden i was back to normal.

You have to be strong and tell yourself everything will be fine.

TRT isnt ideal, but remember its a back up option IF worse comes to worse. Its not the end of the world.

Good luck.

[ifkedup]

Ok guys i got my bloodwork which i took on THE LAST day of pct (will be getting another one 6 weeks later)

Idk how to feel about it, shouldn't the fsh be higher and shouldnt my test be higher in correlation to lh?

Test total: 1088 348~1197


Lh: 11.4 1.7~8.6


Fsh: 4.1 1.5~12.4


Are my testicles desensitized, should i run more pct?

[73rr]

No, u should RELAX

[NACH3]

Ok guys i got my bloodwork which i took on THE LAST day of pct (will be getting another one 6 weeks later)

Idk how to feel about it, shouldn't the fsh be higher and shouldnt my test be higher in correlation to lh?

Test total: 1088 348~1197


Lh: 11.4 1.7~8.6


Fsh: 4.1 1.5~12.4


Are my testicles desensitized, should i run more pct?

Your numbers are great.... But it's the SERMs(clomid/Nolva) that have brought back your HPTA atm ... Your testes are last to respond... Hence the importance of hCG on cycle... Keeps Leydig cell functionality on cycle... Just give it time - 6-8 wks after pct will paint a better and clearer picture of what's happening - the SERMs have surely done there job by stimulating your HPTA(your LH is over the range do to the SERMs)...

Hang in there and keep updating the thread... Just be patient.... Pay it forward... We get kids all day everyday on here thinking it won't happen to them... Please inform them when the time comes - best of luck!

[np67]

It's never good to read posts like this. At 18 I thought steroids were either only 1 tablet or injection and that's it.
Little did I know about how much is involved regarding compounds. I probably know more about steroids than a lot of people who take them, but I can not see myself doing a cycle until a few more years. Maybe never.
Anyway hope all goes well for you and that you recover. Everybody makes mistakes.

[212OlympiaBound]

today was the last day of pct so its over now. i know it was higher but i just want to be normal again fuk i use to fap 3x a day and had life all planned out an was happy, now i look back and can't believe how good my life was and i probably ruined my life before it really begun

The worst that can happen is you'll be on TRT for the rest of your life. AKA you'll have to shoot testosterone once a week. Even this is a very low probability.

Your life is far from ruined...

[ifkedup]

Your numbers are great.... But it's the SERMs(clomid/Nolva) that have brought back your HPTA atm ... Your testes are last to respond... Hence the importance of hCG on cycle... Keeps Leydig cell functionality on cycle... Just give it time - 6-8 wks after pct will paint a better and clearer picture of what's happening - the SERMs have surely done there job by stimulating your HPTA(your LH is over the range do to the SERMs)...

Hang in there and keep updating the thread... Just be patient.... Pay it forward... We get kids all day everyday on here thinking it won't happen to them... Please inform them when the time comes - best of luck!

But shouldn't the test be higher with LH that high?

[BeeStung]

I know I'm going to sound like an idiot for saying this but all this reseach ive been doing is telling me tha HCG pretty much makes your balls stay the same size and again im going to sound stupid but why does that matter? Men that take test that isnt needed like most of us do is proven to be a more effective birth control then the shit that the women take which to me just sounds like more of a reason to be on Test. but im only 22 and i kinda went into my first cycle blind. i was on a PCT but no DA, AI, or HCG and i still went like a porn star. Actually my sex life was even better. maybe im just lucky or maybe i naturally had lower test so when i was on my cycle it just made my levels normal. i wouldt know since i never got bloods done. but anyway this is a good post. it will help a lot of younger people hopefully. and hopefull you recover good.

[ifkedup]

Above,

I think so ur leydig cells stay sensitized

[BeeStung]

again meaning what? your balls are smaller?

[ifkedup]

again meaning what? your balls are smaller?

Lh activates the leydig cells to produce test, post cycle wi th out hcg on cycle they are desensitized and makes recovery longer

[bobtail]

Stay calm, man. A year from now you won't even be thinking about this. The human body is really tough and will do an amazing job of healing itself.
As the guys said above, PCT is just a kick start. Give it a few more weeks.
I know you young guys (and most of us old ones!) live or die by our boners but you'll be fine. Just give it some time and train your ass off.

[ifkedup]

Also should i worry about gyno post pct? I think my nips itch but im not sure if its in my head

[The Deadlifting Dog]

Itchy nips is not gyno.
Lumps are gyno.
Your nips are probably itchy due to your hormones being in flux.