First Cycle Cutting

[Arcânn]

I know I'm most likely going to get crucified for asking this, but if anyone can set me on the right path, it's you guys. It's mostly thanks to people here that I made the better decision to hold off on cycling in the first place after getting my bloodwork done, even though I've had everything I need for a cycle for at least a couple months now. My cholesterol was the reason I decided to hold off.

I've come to the conclusion over the last couple months that, at least at this point in my life, there's really not much reason for me to gain muscle past my natural potential (my hotheadedness is wearing off), since it's not very sustainable. I'd rather not go through all the yo-yoing since I have no immediate plans for being on TRT and I don't quite have the money yet to spend on using HGH forever (but I understand that there's at least a slight risk of ending up on TRT after even one cycle of doing everything right). Cycling UPWARD just seems pointless without at least TRT or HGH, if not both.

But of course, I'd still like to lean out with the muscle I can gain naturally. The problem is, with natty cutting, it's almost a guarantee that no matter how great your diet and training are, you're going to lose a substantial amount of muscle in the process. Sure, you'll lose more fat than muscle, but it seems hardly worth it to cut and lose muscle just to bulk back up and gain fat again and go through the process 10 times in order to achieve results that could easily be had with one cutting cycle and a natty clean bulk.

Which finally brings me to my question: Is there really anything wrong with a first cycle being a cut? I know I've asked something like this on here before, and the reason I think it was mostly shut down is because the first cycle seems to be where most people make the most gains, and if you have the intention of gaining weight, then it would be kind of a waste to cut with your first cycle. However, I'm no longer coming from the standpoint of eventually cycling to get bigger (although EVENTUALLY I might). It just seems like a giant waste of time and effort to cut naturally and lose a lot of muscle when I can cycle and hold onto most/all of it. For the most part, I've already got my mind made up, like 85%, but you guys opinions have always helped so far, at least as far as greater insight.

Secondary question: In terms of cholesterol, it seems that cycling hurts that a little, but the more I learn, the more it seems that maybe it's the AIs doing more damage than anything, since it's reducing the estrogen that is apparently HELPING your cholesterol. So if my estrogen is elevated during a cycle, is cholesterol really likely to get any worse?