Maybe im being Prejudice?

[WARMachine]

Hey QuietStorm, Ninja, Murilo, and anyone else, maybe you guys can give me an opinon.

Its kinda a weird dilemma honestly...

Ok here goes, as some of you know i teach MMA/BJJ. Well i have a student that were gonna call Ben. Now hes a good kid for the most part, very respectful, does what hes told, and listens. Well ive had him as a student for about a year now, and its that time of year for belt promotions. I think hes more than ready for his Blue Belt. The only thing i recently learned from a friend of his (who also joined my class) is that Ben is an Ex-Convict!!!

This kinda got me wondering if he was playing with me. So i asked Ben himself and he said it was true! He was convicted of First degree burglary, which is always a felony and a strike!! He did 3 years in CA state prison for it!

Now this kid is only 23 years old! Crazy right? Well now my problem.

What do i do with this kid? Should i continue to allow him to attend my classes? Should i expell him from my gym?

Or am i being too close minded? Should i promote him as planned and allow him to stay?

Im going to be talking to my friends on what i should do, as well as my master as this affects him too...

I just really dont want people to have an unfavorable opinion of me, my other students, and our reputation because of this kid. I think it will bring down the gym morale if i allow him to stay as most others have already gotten wind of this.

What should i do guys?

[warchild]

the dude made a bad choice and paid his dues and you said he is doing good, so why kick him out?

[Panzerfaust]

I would have a conversation with him and let him know that you believe in him and that he no longer wants that lifestyle and explain to him how Jiu-Jitsu can strengthen his life in many ways, from mentally to physically.

If you promote in front of the class, make a point to mention that "Ben" has come a long way and has showed dedication to Jiu-Jitsu and himself and how you feel he is ready for this promotion etc. The line everyone up and make him run the gauntlet and smack the shit out of him with their belts. haha

I'm not sure...you are around him, I am not...but it has been a year so he has dedicated himself to training. Might not be bad afterall, but who knows?

And since when do people get Blue Belts in a year? That would never happen back in the day...I think it was 1.5-2yrs before I got mine. I got the plaque on the wall here...I was promoted to Blue Belt 9/23/01 by Rickson.

[WARMachine]

the dude made a bad choice and paid his dues and you said he is doing good, so why kick him out?

I just really dont want people to have an unfavorable opinion of me, my other students, and our reputation because of this kid. I think it will bring down the gym morale if i allow him to stay as most others have already gotten wind of this.

Thats pretty much the only reason that i can think of...

He seems to be doing good, i think he is still on parole however...

idk, maybe im thinking too much into this...


Murilo, you make a good point, my buddy said almost the exact same thing.

[WARMachine]

And since when do people get Blue Belts in a year? That would never happen back in the day...I think it was 1.5-2yrs before I got mine. I got the plaque on the wall here...I was promoted to Blue Belt 9/23/01 by Rickson.

If you want to get technical about it, its been 16 months... I just said a year cause im too lazy to look it up...

Hes really dedicated, and shows some skill. He wrestled in HS and had a year of college wrestling at Cal State Fullerton before he was arrested.

[warchild]

i say let him stay man, we all f up one time or another. sounds like the guy is trying to change for the better.

[WDMF]

I would allow him to train and give him the belt if he is ready. He's only 23 and probably just made a stupid mistake… maybe influenced by the wrong people….. who knows. You have a chance to be a positive influence in his life. The belt should give him a positive sense of achievement for his hard work.

[WARMachine]

Hmmm....

Well guys, you all seem to agree... I think hes a good kid, and i know hes working hard both in life and in my gym.

Ill have to confer with those closest to me, but you are making good points..

Bump for more opinons?

[quarry206]

i'll say this, as a correctional officer in florida's state prison system.. 85percent of all people that go to prison are not as bad as what the concept of going to prison gives them.. when your 18-20 u do alot of stuff that get you in trouble. the big difference between going to prison or not going, is learning to grow up before you get in trouble.. everybody has commited a felony before, probably 10.. so if you feel he is a good kid then teach him..

sometimes having goals and drive in sports keeps you wanting to do better.. (not to sound like a youth ad on TV) but its true. things go bad in life, some people need a hit in the head before they get right some do it on their own.. and some never do.

in the prison system i have meet people i would love to see beaten to death, and some i really wonder where their family was to get them strait because they were good guys, just young dumb and hanging with the wrong people..

i say teach him. as gay as it sounds maybe your school will help him stay clean

[WARMachine]

Yes i think its best to continue to help him along. We are so close in age, he could practically be my brother. And i know he doesnt have much family and not many friends...

As long as he continues to keep his head on straight, ill continue to help him.

Hopefully BJJ will give him some stability and give him something to be proud of.

[J-Dogg]

When I was 17 I was convicted of Breaking and Entering.

I did jail time just 90 days in county jail. I was hanging around my other cousin who was bad news, but I made the choice to commit a crime myself.

I turned right around though. I worked in a restaraunt as a kid, I was promoted to a manager at 18 and was trusted counting thousands of dollars and doing depsoits. 4 Managers ahead of me were all fired for stealing money, I never did.

I now own a good profitable company, investment properties and have a pretty good life. I am a respected person by my family, friends and people I know in the community.

People make mistakes, some people learn from them. Some people have to learn things the hard way, I would never take back my mistake, as it molded me into the person I did. I grew a lot from that experince.

[WARMachine]

Thanks for the insight bro! Im beginning to see its possible for a young man to make mistakes and learn from them.

Believe me, ive made my share!

[QuieTSToRM33]

If you honestly feel that he's a good kid and that he's deserving of a blue .... than go right ahead and give it to him.

Don't let what he's done out of the gym (in the past especially) affect the way you feel about him in the gym.

And for Murilo .... I got my blue in a year ... from Ricardo Liborio.

What does it matter when you get it ? ... if you're deserving of it then you should get it.

I trained my ass off 6 days a week, sometimes double sessions, did numerous tournaments, and also had a wrestling background.

It's not when you get it ... it's why you get it.

[WARMachine]

^^^ And i can go ahead and back Quiet up.

Cause if Ricardo gave it to him, he deserves it...


A lil off topic but...
What belt do you have now bro? I thought you said you were a purple belt once? Maybe im confused?

[QuieTSToRM33]

A lil off topic but...
What belt do you have now bro? I thought you said you were a purple belt once? Maybe im confused?

I never said I was a purple ... it would be nice though.

I'm a just a little old blue belt man ... I'll be here for a while.

[WARMachine]

Lol ok i must be confused... maybe that was UFCFIGHTER who said that...

Either way, keep at it bro, as im sure you know, it take time...

[Voice of Reason]

No offense but isn't 80% of black belt bjj people in South America, ex-felons or never got caught for murder?

[WARMachine]

None taken... Ive never been caught for shit... lol...


But no dude. Sure a lot of us are knockaround guys sure, but most arent convicted felons...

My team surely isnt.

Ryan Gracie excluded... lol

[Deltasaurus]

War everyone makes mistakes, you said yourself that you have been in many of street fights which im pretty sure you have hurt people pretty bad and you have used to have a problem with rec-substances, fortunately you havent yourself been in a undesired as he was right?

Just my opinion, you might be keeping him out of trouble sending him away may make him feel like FTW you know, you are probable helping the kid more than you know, you had no problem with him before so keep it that and dont judge him, just like him for who he is now a hard working student, who respects you

-AJ

[Deltasaurus]

War everyone makes mistakes, you said yourself that you have been in many of street fights which im pretty sure you have hurt people pretty bad and you have used to have a problem with rec-substances, fortunately you havent yourself been in a undesired as he was right?

Just my opinion, you might be keeping him out of trouble sending him away may make him feel like FTW you know, you are probable helping the kid more than you know, you had no problem with him before so keep it that and dont judge him, just like him for who he is now a hard working student, who respects you

-AJ

[Brown Ninja]

Pretty much agree what everyone else has been saying. I realize that its a reflection of you and your school but if you truly believe he has turned that corner and put it behind then you should have nothing to worry about. I believe that its a conversation that needs to be had but barring some severely wrong answers on the students part I believe you should keep him on board. One of the main duties I believe an instructor has is to mentor and guide. Dumping on someone for a previous mistake does not fall with in mentoring or guiding. Its you school and your gig so you have to do what is best for you but that's my 2 cents.

[ghettoboyd]

Pretty much agree what everyone else has been saying. I realize that its a reflection of you and your school but if you truly believe he has turned that corner and put it behind then you should have nothing to worry about. I believe that its a conversation that needs to be had but barring some severely wrong answers on the students part I believe you should keep him on board. One of the main duties I believe an instructor has is to mentor and guide. Dumping on someone for a previous mistake does not fall with in mentoring or guiding. Its you school and your gig so you have to do what is best for you but that's my 2 cents.

i too agree. this guy has come a long way and has found a passion for life through MMA. i bet he will always remember and look up to you for giving him a chance and hopefully one day he will pay it forward.

[WARMachine]

The decison has been made fellas.

He was promoted as expected.

Im glad i talked to you guys here, as it made me realize it is my job to help him in his journey through life.

Thanks for all the opinons guys!

[Brown Ninja]

How long does it generally take to get a blue belt? A year plus?

[WARMachine]

Depends really.

How many classes, skill level, tounrys... etc..

But generally, 12-18months from white to blue

[Rugger02]

The decison has been made fellas.

He was promoted as expected.

Im glad i talked to you guys here, as it made me realize it is my job to help him in his journey through life.

Thanks for all the opinons guys!

I think you made the right choice war. Cheers for being able to judge someone for who they are and not necessarily for who they were. I hope he continues to do well

[Brown Ninja]

If someone was rolling three times a week for 1-2 hours per session. Just curious. No experience in the sport but a school is moving close by and will be starting in early December. I can't wait