Crazy Mike's come back Log and Cycle May 2013

[Trevtrev]

Unfortunately we can't PM anymore on the non aas discussion we were having, but I'm still wishing you a great recovery. All the best Mike!

[crazy mike]

Well good luck,

"I quote your post: I'd really like to speak with you off the open forum so you and I can come to understanding about what is really happening here".

I am unable to reply with quote on here ? Also I am unable to PM in or out. The reply with quote thing, Austin gave me some possible ways to fix it ? So I'm working on that ?

As far as the PM use I don't know what happened. I turned it off to stop the chatter and brand/source talk intending to turn it back on when the dust settled. When tried my settings I was locked out of all the stings so I cannot get to options.

So, for you and for anyone else's inquiry that's that, for now.

I would welcome the conversation but how. . I have no problem with it. You need not reply to this, you see I am not a complete a$$hole.

I will tell you and everyone, I am clean sober today and the last almost 2 years now and no one is going to take that away from me. If anyone thinks different or thinks I'm continually abusing steroids , well then that's their problem and I will not let it be mine. I have not relapsed and Fvck anyone who wants to tell me different. I know the real deal.

Shame on the person or persons who wants to hurt me and push me back to that life by making me hurt. AND further more I don't want sympathy, but for the ones who have been close to wearing my shoes they might have some empathy. Anyone who thinks they understand my life and knows what I feel or to know MY experience is full of sh!t. They might have been there done that However, I don't know what they feel deep inside I'm not them and their not me.

I'll close with this you don't teach without understanding. You don't help people or me especially by rubbing my nose in sh!t like you might a dog.

With my higher power which for me I call "GOD " and my understanding I will get through more then this crap, get back to the gym, continue to take care of my body mind and soul only to come out a better person. ...Mike

[crazy mike]

Hey, Itsjayman

Thanks for your heart felt reply man. G2G ya know !! ...crazy mike

[>Good Luck<]

Well good luck,

"I quote your post: I'd really like to speak with you off the open forum so you and I can come to understanding about what is really happening here".

I am unable to reply with quote on here ? Also I am unable to PM in or out. The reply with quote thing, Austin gave me some possible ways to fix it ? So I'm working on that ?

As far as the PM use I don't know what happened. I turned it off to stop the chatter and brand/source talk intending to turn it back on when the dust settled. When tried my settings I was locked out of all the stings so I cannot get to options.

So, for you and for anyone else's inquiry that's that, for now.

I would welcome the conversation but how. . I have no problem with it. You need not reply to this, you see I am not a complete a$$hole.

I will tell you and everyone, I am clean sober today and the last almost 2 years now and no one is going to take that away from me. If anyone thinks different or thinks I'm continually abusing steroids , well then that's their problem and I will not let it be mine. I have not relapsed and Fvck anyone who wants to tell me different. I know the real deal.

Shame on the person or persons who wants to hurt me and push me back to that life by making me hurt. AND further more I don't want sympathy, but for the ones who have been close to wearing my shoes they might have some empathy. Anyone who thinks they understand my life and knows what I feel or to know MY experience is full of sh!t. They might have been there done that However, I don't know what they feel deep inside I'm not them and their not me.

I'll close with this you don't teach without understanding. You don't help people or me especially by rubbing my nose in sh!t like you might a dog.

With my higher power which for me I call "GOD " and my understanding I will get through more then this crap, get back to the gym, continue to take care of my body mind and soul only to come out a better person. ...Mike

I call a spade a spade. I understand you may have significant experience in your program and how you work it and in no way am I attacking your sobriety. Thats your journey not mine. My statement of your new DOC being roids is an educated opinion based on your activity on this forum over the past year or so. I've been here a bit longer than you and remember your entry to this forum and have had the pleasure of following your many many many posts. Now, given that I may have read only 25% of your posts, considering you are in most every thread, I'm sure ive missed quite a bit -but by what I do see its obvious to me and other who have called you out that your steroid use is pretty erratic and you don't pratice the very safe use you prescribe. Aside from that, you have a habbit of coming off as an a-hole in how you talk > AT TIMES < and for that reason I believe people like me have the right to express my opinion. After all, it is an open forum.

Now, am I saying you've relapsed? No

Am I saying your behaviour looks challenging to your sobriety? Yes, but that's not my problem.

Do I have the life experince to recognize the difference? Perhaps over 10 years behind the doors of open meetings in AA , NA, CA, alanon and alateen have opened my eyes to the patterns of those on the road of recovery. Again, it is your journey and not mine, but if your gonna bring it up, ill always give you my opinion and call your billshit if I feel the need to do so.

The last thing ill bring up is the fact that you can sure dish out a lashing but can't take one worth a shit! You act like such a big baby if anyone calls you out or disagrees or proves you wrong. Maybe humbling yourself once in a while may lift some of this pressure from many members around here who seem to be "bullying you" as you call it. Every once I a while it would be nice to see you admit when your wrong instead of blaming everyone of bullying and attacking you and "defaming" you. After all, if you never did anything wrong you would surely be able to have this convo via pm, and wouldn't have so many bullies telling you to slow the fvck down. So are we done yet or does this need to keep happening? Who will be next and how many more "I'm not part of the bullsh!t" speeches will you write followed by "fvck you" speeches to the same people (directly or indirectly)

[crazy mike]

Hello >Good Luck< I just got back from a meeting and now dinner, Saw your reply and will reply later. Just wanna tell you. ...cm

[>Good Luck<]

Hello >Good Luck< I just got back from a meeting and now dinner, Saw your reply and will reply later. Just wanna tell you. ...cm

Looking forward to it

[jimmyinkedup]

I call a spade a spade. I understand you may have significant experience in your program and how you work it and in no way am I attacking your sobriety. Thats your journey not mine. My statement of your new DOC being roids is an educated opinion based on your activity on this forum over the past year or so. I've been here a bit longer than you and remember your entry to this forum and have had the pleasure of following your many many many posts. Now, given that I may have read only 25% of your posts, considering you are in most every thread, I'm sure ive missed quite a bit -but by what I do see its obvious to me and other who have called you out that your steroid use is pretty erratic and you don't pratice the very safe use you prescribe. Aside from that, you have a habbit of coming off as an a-hole in how you talk > AT TIMES < and for that reason I believe people like me have the right to express my opinion. After all, it is an open forum.

Now, am I saying you've relapsed? No

Am I saying your behaviour looks challenging to your sobriety? Yes, but that's not my problem.

Do I have the life experince to recognize the difference? Perhaps over 10 years behind the doors of open meetings in AA , NA, CA, alanon and alateen have opened my eyes to the patterns of those on the road of recovery. Again, it is your journey and not mine, but if your gonna bring it up, ill always give you my opinion and call your billshit if I feel the need to do so.

The last thing ill bring up is the fact that you can sure dish out a lashing but can't take one worth a shit! You act like such a big baby if anyone calls you out or disagrees or proves you wrong. Maybe humbling yourself once in a while may lift some of this pressure from many members around here who seem to be "bullying you" as you call it. Every once I a while it would be nice to see you admit when your wrong instead of blaming everyone of bullying and attacking you and "defaming" you. After all, if you never did anything wrong you would surely be able to have this convo via pm, and wouldn't have so many bullies telling you to slow the fvck down. So are we done yet or does this need to keep happening? Who will be next and how many more "I'm not part of the bullsh!t" speeches will you write followed by "fvck you" speeches to the same people (directly or indirectly)

Not uncommon for an addict - active in addiction or not- to play the consummate victim role to a T. Its much easier than actually accepting responsibility and honestly assessing your own role and behavior in any given situation. . Heck people in general. Its half the problem with people now a days. No one wants to accept personal responsibility or accountability. Great Post....

ps- Dont get me wrong Im not saying I am above this behavior myself, I just think its a very astute and accurate observation on your part in this particular situation >Good Luck<.

[>Good Luck<]

Not uncommon for an addict - active in addiction or not- to play the consummate victim role to a T. Its much easier than actually accepting responsibility and honestly assessing your own role and behavior in any given situation. . Heck people in general. Its half the problem with people now a days. No one wants to accept personal responsibility or accountability. Great Post....

ps- Dont get me wrong Im not saying I am above this behavior myself, I just think its a very astute and accurate observation on your part in this particular situation >Good Luck<.

I was hoping that I didn't come off as just trying to stir shit up but I really feel strongly against this type of behaviour. I call it the blame phenomenon. I also am not above this, however in my life I feel most satified when I can recognize it happening and grow from it. If I fail to recognize flaw in my own self I am robbing myself the oppirtunity for personal growth. This goes for anyone, and I hope mike will realize that I'm coming from the heart and not attacking anybody. We are all human and should aall treat eachother -and ourselves as such

[crazy mike]

Hi guys, Not avoiding this. I have to think, do some soul searching. Getting to admittance and step 4 inventory (you guys know step work). For what it's worth I was busy after the meeting with my wife and the grand babies came out for a short visit. Today it was on my mind and I tell you than just coming out with ok, ok, I'm sorry or I'm wrong as to just Bullsh!t you and get it behind. You would easily recognize If I tried to patronize you with BS. I was thinking on your different statements and to get a genuine grip as to thinking before I speak.

I spent the day, doing what I had to get done, bills, mailings and an article I was to write for a group and did write it, in regard to some BB and weight loss supplements. Finished that and general things. So I am off in 30 mins to a meeting You know where and I WIIL ADDRESS THIS , your post this evening when I return.
I WILL, when I return approx. 8:30. No BS.... ...Mike

[crazy mike]

This a bit long but you know me. I also wish this was done in private setting. Maybe someone might help with that now ?

I will try to reply to most all of what you said in your post #124 . Remember I have a glitch in my system and can’t reply with quote but I will give it a try having to paraphrase but you’ll understand what I am saying.
You make claim to only have read 25% of my posts, due I think as you express I have been on almost every thread. Do you think then you can make a good assessment of what all I say, or most at 25%. If I told you I know how you are and I know what you say and stand for, BUT I’ve only listened to 25% of what you’ve said, IK think you would tell me, “than shut up. Ya think. On that note put the shoe on the other foot because you admit to only hearing 25%.

But with even that, I agree I have too much to say more than not. A good observation I admit so I’ll be more aware and think more and back down some. You on the other hand shouldn’t be so fast to make claim in its entirety.
On the issue of my being erratic with my steroid use that’s my business and my way if I choose. As for me not practicing what I advise others and or mostly newbies , the fact is that I have never told them to be irresponsible, I have advised safety and knowledge first and good cycling protocols. You might referencing aspirating or not. I won’t go there, not the topic at hand.

I don’t tell them: Hey, do as I say but not as I do. However I have kept for the most part what I am doing a secret. Only if you have gotten to know me ON HERE and have taken a real close look at when I have said what I am doing you might know it is erratic. I have discussed my high dosing but tried to keep the when out and frequency out of the picture. I don’t think everyone has though enough about ME and what I do as you and some other Vets.

So for you it may be but maybe not for me. You are not in my shoes, 62 yrs. old, have some of the disabilities I have had for years. I practice safety. I make MY OWN assessment of my life and maybe it’s longevity. That’s my call and my wife’s.
It’s not your business from the stand point of saying I don’t practice safety, that I in my state of affairs and health to say what’s good or bad for me. My health, my condition, affairs with my wife, sex my future, you have no clue as to what’s up nor do any of you. I will tell you I get blood work almost every month a full panel and I have to pay and do my own personal Testosterone and Estradiol and I do.

Right now I will mention that if you were concerned and wanted to talk like this you had plenty of time to befriend me and PM me. It’s only been two weeks or less my PM is out. If you are saying I did something wrong to not be able to turn it on so we could have this talk on PM, well you must know something more about it being disabled than I do. Enough of that BS.

My program is solid or did you not see I got off the morphine ASAP and put the balance in the toilet and have returned to meetings. So you think I’m off the deep end with aas you are wrong.

Now with the talk as F you and the language and the demeanor well, yep you called a spade a spade. Got me there. But we can all be a$$holes at times or most of the time in my case. However I remark again, you or anyone could have come to me. Agreed no one should have to, look at my age. I should know better. Admittedly I do, and when taking notice or reprimand I have and can make adjustments. It works both ways man. Or are you just lily white?

No excuse I guess but 2 yrs. out after 46 yrs. of practice, huh. So with everything, sometimes quickly and sometime slowly. This is not a defense or excuse I repeat myself, but a fact of life.

You said the last thing you will bring out is I can dish it out but can’t take it. Hmm, what’s new with mike on that note. You see I don’t deny that and it has always been a problem all my life. So point taken, I’ll work on that, too bad you or anyone on here didn’t come to me man to man on PM and had a conversation with me, and oh…about any of this.

Before I leave it I will ask you to examine your real motive, your real motive for making the statement to a baseball player who is looking for MY help with his overall condition to beware of who he gets to train him. Remember I am paraphrasing you. But the point I make you know. What was your real motive with what you said purely for his benefit or was it also a dig. I have a complex you might say and I won’t deny, but I am not stupid. It was what it was.

I am doing some soul searching as you should have gotten the hint by not responding without thinking it over.

Not so: ...crazy mike

[>Good Luck<]

This a bit long but you know me. I also wish this was done in private setting. Maybe someone might help with that now ?

I will try to reply to most all of what you said in your post #124 . Remember I have a glitch in my system and can't reply with quote but I will give it a try having to paraphrase but you'll understand what I am saying.
You make claim to only have read 25% of my posts, due I think as you express I have been on almost every thread. Do you think then you can make a good assessment of what all I say, or most at 25%. If I told you I know how you are and I know what you say and stand for, BUT I've only listened to 25% of what you've said, IK think you would tell me, "than shut up. Ya think. On that note put the shoe on the other foot because you admit to only hearing 25%.

But with even that, I agree I have too much to say more than not. A good observation I admit so I'll be more aware and think more and back down some. You on the other hand shouldn't be so fast to make claim in its entirety.
On the issue of my being erratic with my steroid use that's my business and my way if I choose. As for me not practicing what I advise others and or mostly newbies , the fact is that I have never told them to be irresponsible, I have advised safety and knowledge first and good cycling protocols. You might referencing aspirating or not. I won't go there, not the topic at hand.

I don't tell them: Hey, do as I say but not as I do. However I have kept for the most part what I am doing a secret. Only if you have gotten to know me ON HERE and have taken a real close look at when I have said what I am doing you might know it is erratic. I have discussed my high dosing but tried to keep the when out and frequency out of the picture. I don't think everyone has though enough about ME and what I do as you and some other Vets.

So for you it may be but maybe not for me. You are not in my shoes, 62 yrs. old, have some of the disabilities I have had for years. I practice safety. I make MY OWN assessment of my life and maybe it's longevity. That's my call and my wife's.
It's not your business from the stand point of saying I don't practice safety, that I in my state of affairs and health to say what's good or bad for me. My health, my condition, affairs with my wife, sex my future, you have no clue as to what's up nor do any of you. I will tell you I get blood work almost every month a full panel and I have to pay and do my own personal Testosterone and Estradiol and I do.

Right now I will mention that if you were concerned and wanted to talk like this you had plenty of time to befriend me and PM me. It's only been two weeks or less my PM is out. If you are saying I did something wrong to not be able to turn it on so we could have this talk on PM, well you must know something more about it being disabled than I do. Enough of that BS.

My program is solid or did you not see I got off the morphine ASAP and put the balance in the toilet and have returned to meetings. So you think I'm off the deep end with aas you are wrong.

Now with the talk as F you and the language and the demeanor well, yep you called a spade a spade. Got me there. But we can all be a$$holes at times or most of the time in my case. However I remark again, you or anyone could have come to me. Agreed no one should have to, look at my age. I should know better. Admittedly I do, and when taking notice or reprimand I have and can make adjustments. It works both ways man. Or are you just lily white?

No excuse I guess but 2 yrs. out after 46 yrs. of practice, huh. So with everything, sometimes quickly and sometime slowly. This is not a defense or excuse I repeat myself, but a fact of life.

You said the last thing you will bring out is I can dish it out but can't take it. Hmm, what's new with mike on that note. You see I don't deny that and it has always been a problem all my life. So point taken, I'll work on that, too bad you or anyone on here didn't come to me man to man on PM and had a conversation with me, and oh...about any of this.

Before I leave it I will ask you to examine your real motive, your real motive for making the statement to a baseball player who is looking for MY help with his overall condition to beware of who he gets to train him. Remember I am paraphrasing you. But the point I make you know. What was your real motive with what you said purely for his benefit or was it also a dig. I have a complex you might say and I won't deny, but I am not stupid. It was what it was.

I am doing some soul searching as you should have gotten the hint by not responding without thinking it over.

Not so: ...crazy mike

I can't even respond to this properly without potentially making matters worse. All I can see is your best attempt at making me look like I'm attacking you so ill just forget this whole thing and move on. I'm sure we can manage to get along, but just don't get offended if I disagree with you as we both have our opinions to share on this forum.

Good luck

[Lunk1]

Hey Mike, the best way to stop an argument is to stop talking!

[Java Man]

Where's hoggage with his chick pics? We just.need some near naked hotties here and all will be well!
F]
Attachment 144641
Attachment 144642

[crazy mike]

To >Good Luck< I want to know you are wrong about your assessment of my reply. I went over this with my wife, hell she knows when I'm off the chain totally, however of course she would be bias. But for whatever that is worth, I tried to get it right on my end.

I'm sorry. It seems like you just don't think I said what you wanted to hear. Let me tell you my intentions were to admit my wrongs, which is what I though I did for the most , or the better part. The context of my reply I think overall was tell you I recognize some big faults and will work on them.

To me what you don't want is me to stand up for what and where you are overboard. You want to hear me grovel and not stand up for myself. AND, with the statement like "I have only read 25% and I know just what I need to know about you." Paraphrased of course and out of context as you relate to my reply. You are taking out of context my overall attempt to clear the air and to admit some wrong. You are only hearing what you want to hear and not hearing what I am saying and my intentions.

I think in summary you will never be satisfied with anything I say. You don't want to be corrected of anything you have said and the correcting of my behavior with my aas use was your opinion, ok. But your not correct with that one. I was using some insight as to your comment about getting the right trainer, on that thread w/the baseball player living in my home town asking for my help. We need not talk about that, but you might do some soul searching w/that one. It is of course your assessment and you have a right to express that. As you said this is a public forum and we can say what we feel as long as it conforms with this forum's rules.

It is clear that I can't fix this. Maybe I should have come out and said something like. Oh I'm sorry. I'm just a fvck up and an addict who is just continuing in an addicts type behavior. Also I won't be a baby anymore I'll just get my act together (character defects) and in alignment right now, and have that make up within me changed right now. I'm sorry for everything and I will not be bad anymore you're right about everything you said. I know once you hear me on here a few times you need not hear anymore of my spewing of crap and my approach to everyone. So with that I'll shut up, say I apologize. ?? If I said these things in just a more earnest sounding way would that do it. If I said these things right out of the box way back when, would that suffice?

At this point I wish I did that in some BS convincing way for you to accept.

I've said what I need to, I've tried to do the next right thing and my intentions were quite pure with my reply. SO that's it. I really hope you will look back at what I did said in my other reply and find the good intentions and stop finding fault. That might be a more mature attitude on your part. Ooops

Thanks, if you are listening to what I am saying and not what I'm not saying

In conclusion, it will be the next right thing for me to do. So I will take Lunk's advice and STOP talking. ...Mike

[crazy mike]

Hello Java, thanks for the pictures, they're refreshing. Ha !! Good post ...crazy mike

[marcus300]

This a bit long but you know me. I also wish this was done in private setting. Maybe someone might help with that now ?

I will try to reply to most all of what you said in your post #124 . Remember I have a glitch in my system and can’t reply with quote but I will give it a try having to paraphrase but you’ll understand what I am saying.
You make claim to only have read 25% of my posts, due I think as you express I have been on almost every thread. Do you think then you can make a good assessment of what all I say, or most at 25%. If I told you I know how you are and I know what you say and stand for, BUT I’ve only listened to 25% of what you’ve said, IK think you would tell me, “than shut up. Ya think. On that note put the shoe on the other foot because you admit to only hearing 25%.

But with even that, I agree I have too much to say more than not. A good observation I admit so I’ll be more aware and think more and back down some. You on the other hand shouldn’t be so fast to make claim in its entirety.
On the issue of my being erratic with my steroid use that’s my business and my way if I choose. As for me not practicing what I advise others and or mostly newbies , the fact is that I have never told them to be irresponsible, I have advised safety and knowledge first and good cycling protocols. You might referencing aspirating or not. I won’t go there, not the topic at hand.

I don’t tell them: Hey, do as I say but not as I do. However I have kept for the most part what I am doing a secret. Only if you have gotten to know me ON HERE and have taken a real close look at when I have said what I am doing you might know it is erratic. I have discussed my high dosing but tried to keep the when out and frequency out of the picture. I don’t think everyone has though enough about ME and what I do as you and some other Vets.

So for you it may be but maybe not for me. You are not in my shoes, 62 yrs. old, have some of the disabilities I have had for years. I practice safety. I make MY OWN assessment of my life and maybe it’s longevity. That’s my call and my wife’s.
It’s not your business from the stand point of saying I don’t practice safety, that I in my state of affairs and health to say what’s good or bad for me. My health, my condition, affairs with my wife, sex my future, you have no clue as to what’s up nor do any of you. I will tell you I get blood work almost every month a full panel and I have to pay and do my own personal Testosterone and Estradiol and I do.

Right now I will mention that if you were concerned and wanted to talk like this you had plenty of time to befriend me and PM me. It’s only been two weeks or less my PM is out. If you are saying I did something wrong to not be able to turn it on so we could have this talk on PM, well you must know something more about it being disabled than I do. Enough of that BS.

My program is solid or did you not see I got off the morphine ASAP and put the balance in the toilet and have returned to meetings. So you think I’m off the deep end with aas you are wrong.

Now with the talk as F you and the language and the demeanor well, yep you called a spade a spade. Got me there. But we can all be a$$holes at times or most of the time in my case. However I remark again, you or anyone could have come to me. Agreed no one should have to, look at my age. I should know better. Admittedly I do, and when taking notice or reprimand I have and can make adjustments. It works both ways man. Or are you just lily white?

No excuse I guess but 2 yrs. out after 46 yrs. of practice, huh. So with everything, sometimes quickly and sometime slowly. This is not a defense or excuse I repeat myself, but a fact of life.

You said the last thing you will bring out is I can dish it out but can’t take it. Hmm, what’s new with mike on that note. You see I don’t deny that and it has always been a problem all my life. So point taken, I’ll work on that, too bad you or anyone on here didn’t come to me man to man on PM and had a conversation with me, and oh…about any of this.

Before I leave it I will ask you to examine your real motive, your real motive for making the statement to a baseball player who is looking for MY help with his overall condition to beware of who he gets to train him. Remember I am paraphrasing you. But the point I make you know. What was your real motive with what you said purely for his benefit or was it also a dig. I have a complex you might say and I won’t deny, but I am not stupid. It was what it was.

I am doing some soul searching as you should have gotten the hint by not responding without thinking it over.

Not so: ...crazy mike

I haven't a clue what your trying to express CM in your response to Good luck but I really think you need more time going over what you havw written before posting because in all honest all I can see is that it reinforces GL views and opinion. Take your time and try and make your response more understandable otherwise it just looks like your high as a kite.

Well done for GL coming across very mature with his views.

[t-dogg]

Is this a log or the internet version of jerry springer?

[crazy mike]

Thanks Marcus for your input. I'll take note and re-read what I wrote, OK ! But let me tell you. I am not high and I'm clean. Please, this is you're opinion of what I said. BUT, for God's sake and mine can you and everyone leave out the possibility of me using by direct or INDIRECTLY implying.

But after this post I will just take the good advice from Lunk and not reply. I'll listen if >Good Luck< posts a reply but as to this topic we speak now I will not respond anymore. To this NO more for me. AS I said , I can't fix this and This too will pass. For me...fixed ...Mike

[crazy mike]

A different topic, about what I said and my writing ability and clarity. Then I will get back to my log and welcome others to participate in my Updates to BB , my health and training, Q & A. Thx. ...cm
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



As was suggested, I re-read my post. I had three others read this. Here is what I conclude and so do three (3) other non family members who looked at it.

It is too long. I ramble on. I have typo's. I jump back and forth from subject back to subject and sometimes just drop off to another subject. I am NOT concise and it could be organized better with better topic and sub-topic focus. WE all agreed on that.

However Marcus, just the three that I asked to read it and to myself and now my wife also we all agree that what points I am expressing DO make sense. I you or anyone want to hear what I am saying you can very well put together my thoughts even if it is not as clear as it should be written.

With that being said, Marcus maybe for your understanding if you care to understand, I will suggest to you that you also re-read my thoughts that I stated. Read with out being bias and try to understand the principal of what I write and not my personality. Sometimes for different reasons we need to think in principal and give it a try to understand what someone is saying and referring to.

I'm just saying what I wrote even though not written very good , can be understood. Please to TRY to understand me and what I wrote. I think if it was worth you commenting it might be worth your attempt to understand. The end of that topic now !Thanks again. ...Mike ....Getting back to my log....

[>Good Luck<]

To >Good Luck< I want to know you are wrong about your assessment of my reply. I went over this with my wife, hell she knows when I'm off the chain totally, however of course she would be bias. But for whatever that is worth, I tried to get it right on my end.

I'm sorry. It seems like you just don't think I said what you wanted to hear. Let me tell you my intentions were to admit my wrongs, which is what I though I did for the most , or the better part. The context of my reply I think overall was tell you I recognize some big faults and will work on them.

To me what you don't want is me to stand up for what and where you are overboard. You want to hear me grovel and not stand up for myself. AND, with the statement like "I have only read 25% and I know just what I need to know about you." Paraphrased of course and out of context as you relate to my reply. You are taking out of context my overall attempt to clear the air and to admit some wrong. You are only hearing what you want to hear and not hearing what I am saying and my intentions.

I think in summary you will never be satisfied with anything I say. You don't want to be corrected of anything you have said and the correcting of my behavior with my aas use was your opinion, ok. But your not correct with that one. I was using some insight as to your comment about getting the right trainer, on that thread w/the baseball player living in my home town asking for my help. We need not talk about that, but you might do some soul searching w/that one. It is of course your assessment and you have a right to express that. As you said this is a public forum and we can say what we feel as long as it conforms with this forum's rules.

It is clear that I can't fix this. Maybe I should have come out and said something like. Oh I'm sorry. I'm just a fvck up and an addict who is just continuing in an addicts type behavior. Also I won't be a baby anymore I'll just get my act together (character defects) and in alignment right now, and have that make up within me changed right now. I'm sorry for everything and I will not be bad anymore you're right about everything you said. I know once you hear me on here a few times you need not hear anymore of my spewing of crap and my approach to everyone. So with that I'll shut up, say I apologize. ?? If I said these things in just a more earnest sounding way would that do it. If I said these things right out of the box way back when, would that suffice?

At this point I wish I did that in some BS convincing way for you to accept.

I've said what I need to, I've tried to do the next right thing and my intentions were quite pure with my reply. SO that's it. I really hope you will look back at what I did said in my other reply and find the good intentions and stop finding fault. That might be a more mature attitude on your part. Ooops

Thanks, if you are listening to what I am saying and not what I'm not saying

In conclusion, it will be the next right thing for me to do. So I will take Lunk's advice and STOP talking. ...Mike

Look mike Ill be to the point. I made the comment to the baseball player to watch who he chooses to train with because I have some concern about you and your intentions. That should be clear enough. Hes under 25 asking about sources and u jump to friend him. I'm sure if you and him meet you'd have no problem perscribing him a cycle and making him your little project. Hes a young athlete and I'd hate to see him be misguided and ruin his opportunities. My opinion to him.

About your initial response. .. you accept responsibility and then say "but..".blah blah blah... you have been called out about abusing roid many times and again, thats your problem and nobody esle. But if more than one people see a problem maybe its something to consider.

About the 25% u seem to hoan in on. It was more of a joke saying most of what u post isn't worth my time considering you've posted 5k posts... I can see a patteen with your posts that i do read (many many many of them) and that was what I was commenting on. Maybe 75% would have been easier for you to swallow.


So I'm done attacking you and whatever else and I'm sure we Will bump heads because if I disagree with you I will say something like it pr not. Sorry about your luck

[crazy mike]

Thank you for that reply Luck it was lot less condemning. I would like to address this last one. As I have said I had enough and this should conclude it.

QUOTE:[B]
Look mike Ill be to the point. I made the comment to the baseball player to watch who he chooses to train with because I have some concern about you and your intentions. That should be clear enough. Hes under 25 asking about sources and u jump to friend him. I'm sure if you and him meet you'd have no problem perscribing him a cycle and making him your little project. Hes a young athlete and I'd hate to see him be misguided and ruin his opportunities. My opinion to him. [/B]
END QUOTE


This is your assumption and YOU ARE WRONG. I have no intentions. If he’s going to play ball he doesn’t need to bulk per say. And he doesn’t need to get injured by lifting above his normal growth potential at this time, especially with his baseball career. You don't know how I would train him, how I have trained others who I've steered away, nothing but negative assumptions. Still you could have talked to me in private and I’m correct in saying the statement was in regard to me. Not the way to go about your opinion or assumption here. If we all went around assuming we’d all be up one another’s asses.

Enough, a done deal. …crazy mike >>>The End<<<

[>Good Luck<]

Edit...fvck it

[Fcastle357]

Guys lets keep the A.A. stuff out of this.

[crazy mike]

Thursday October 10, 2013

Back to my Log.

I went to the surgeon today in regard to my back injury. It turns out after three other diagnosis's I don't have Herniated disks, There are four seriously protruding disks. The L2, L3 , L4 and the worst being L5. They are all bulging and closing in on the nerves but not pinching them yet. The space at number L5 is not good and is causing some nerves in my left leg to cause me pain.

Since the pain is lessening and no surgery is needed at this time the doctor suggests therapy and muscle relaxers before even going to an epidermal injection. Good news at that, but the major reason for this happening is from stress on my back from a previous back injury in 1985. Now being 62 the degeneration of the disks are beginning to protrude more and push on the nerves.

The doctor said I can return to the gym if I feel good about it but strongly cautions against exercises that directly compress my spine. Hello ? The Simple Simon approach I would say

At the end before this happened I was hitting shrugs hard and very heavy for me. MY symmetry was lacking traps and I was trying to make it up. This is a typical case of my aas use was allowing me to lift more than MY bone structure and age should be handling.

I have the doctors blessing to go for it more moderately with exercises such as biceps n triceps and chest and other exercises not requiring me to stand with heavy weight .

So one day at a time I'll work slowly back into it. I haven't figured out about squats and shrugs etc... I am going to hit biceps and triceps and maybe a little chest tomorrow. ...crazy mike

[AD]

Mike. In view of your bad spine and your surgeon's advice, I think it's best you don't go too heavy on your shrugs. You can still grow with moderate weight. Go slo-mo and really feel each contraction with extra emphasis on the negatives. Go for 10-15 rep range. Decrease your rest time in between sets. Just 30 seconds if you can. When you add all these together, you can still have a great workout without using crazy weights. Good luck, Crazy. (Pun pun)

[crazy mike]

Mike. In view of your bad spine and your surgeon's advice, I think it's best you don't go too heavy on your shrugs. You can still grow with moderate weight. Go slo-mo and really feel each contraction with extra emphasis on the negatives. Go for 10-15 rep range. Decrease your rest time in between sets. Just 30 seconds if you can. When you add all these together, you can still have a great workout without using crazy weights. Good luck, Crazy. (Pun pun)

Hey thanks for your reply. I was thinking the same, but it's seems to make more sense coming from another person. lol.
I'm going to the gym today, but not feeling good enough to start holding weight when standing and having any compression on my spine yet. Gotta rest a while more, It is still tender.

I'm going to have to stay with some machines for a while. Just picking up plates off the floor isn't good at this juncture. I like the advice to concentrate and the negatives. Thx ...crazy mike

[AD]

another thing you can try is to do your shrugs sitting down, with a high back support. that will decrease some of the curves of the spine and might decrease the vertical loads of the weight.

[crazy mike]

Sunday October 13, 2013

Back in the gym;

I went to the gym (Friday) and did a light workout. I only worked my chest, biceps, triceps and triceps. I used the machines to work on biceps and triceps. I kept my reps above 10 and in the range of 10-25.

I didn’t push past the failure rep and was only reaching failure because of the number of reps that led to fatigue. I did get a good pump but I know that’s just the bloating of the muscle tissue with fluids.

For chest (incline) I used the Smith machine and only loaded quarters and dimes so I wasn’t bending and picking up heavier plates. I also kept the reps above ten.

I did try to do some seated trap work on the bench with ONLY 30 lb. dumbbells and found of course my back isn’t in shape to do anything that compresses it. The 30 lb. weights made it slightly sore, enough to stop. With that light of weight it’s apparent I must wait a long time before I compress my spine at all. I was just trying to get a feel for what I can and cannot due. It’s going to be a while.
I will report that the muscle relaxers are not doing anything to ease if up. The workout went good and I came out with a positive attitude and outlook. There is life in the gym after a back injury

I’ll just have to work lighter and change my thinking at this point.  …crazy mike

[crazy mike]

....

[RipOwens]

Sunday October 13, 2013

Back in the gym;

I went to the gym (Friday) and did a light workout. I only worked my chest, biceps, triceps and triceps. I used the machines to work on biceps and triceps. I kept my reps above 10 and in the range of 10-25.

I didn’t push past the failure rep and was only reaching failure because of the number of reps that led to fatigue. I did get a good pump but I know that’s just the bloating of the muscle tissue with fluids.

For chest (incline) I used the Smith machine and only loaded quarters and dimes so I wasn’t bending and picking up heavier plates. I also kept the reps above ten.

I did try to do some seated trap work on the bench with ONLY 30 lb. dumbbells and found of course my back isn’t in shape to do anything that compresses it. The 30 lb. weights made it slightly sore, enough to stop. With that light of weight it’s apparent I must wait a long time before I compress my spine at all. I was just trying to get a feel for what I can and cannot due. It’s going to be a while.
I will report that the muscle relaxers are not doing anything to ease if up. The workout went good and I came out with a positive attitude and outlook. There is life in the gym after a back injury

I’ll just have to work lighter and change my thinking at this point.  …crazy mike

Good to hear CM!

[crazy mike]

It's Sunday Oct 13, 2013 and I am unhappy to log in and tell this; my wife has made a firm decision over the last month and a half that when we move by January she is going to move on her own and we will not live together. We made it 34 yrs. with a six year break in 2000. However it’s been a long and pretty good marriage overall.

I need the gym and my workouts more than ever. Working out keeps me sane. It keeps me healthy and health conscious. If I have idol time it isn’t a good thing. Too many years of bad habits. So I must stay on some track of progress. I can’t sit still.

At my age I don’t know what it’s going to be like. I just can’t go out and get into a relationship at this age. Huh… Even most of you think I’m too old and well, crazy as sh!t. Not just a little crazy, but you don’t know me.

If I can say about this is uncharted territory and I am a bit uneasy. Ya think. Gotta get to the gym tomorrow. Its chest and arms for me. So this will be my second workout with my recovering spine. …crazy mike

[crazy mike]

.....

[AD]

I will report that the muscle relaxers are not doing anything to ease if up.

are you on any NSAIDs?

[crazy mike]

are you on any NSAIDs?

Yea man, too much Ibuprofen. I don't take the muscle relaxers they don't work. I sometimes take some at bedtime but don't notice any help.

The L-5 disc is hurting mostly but in general it is the section L-2 thru L-5. ...crazy mike

[crazy mike]

Friday October 18th

I went to the gym yesterday and worked Biceps n Triceps / arms, along with shoulders keeping compression off my spine as much as possible. Still can't do shrugs with even 40lb. dumbbells. I did overhead press on the smith machine with the bench back at a very slight angle, off the total vertical position for my lateral and anterior head as much as possible. I found the front raises bothered my spine. Then machine lateral raises for the lateral and the reverse lateral movement for posterior

Tricep push downs on the overhead cable, and machine tricep extensions. On Biceps I did just the preacher machine curls. I kept the reps above 8 failing and as many as 25 on the lower weights. I incorporated the strip sets working down. Getting back in shape again I kept my working reps above 8-10 and other finishing and intensity type above 15 reps.

Another thing to be safe I did not pick up weight off the floor only off the rack onto the bar and nothing heavier then 25lbs, for now. 45 lb. plates are out of the question yet so I don't even put my hands on any. AS far a spotting someone on bench, I just have to say sorry I can't.

I am being careful and coming back with a different a different mind set for myself. ...crazy mike

[crazy mike]

Sunday October 20th

I'm disappointed to log that me and my wife after 34 years together are separating. It's been a long time coming. We did separate in 2000' - 2006 and got back together but this time with our age and Cathy's disability status this will be the final and permanent separation.

This decision was first made by my wife and I have quickly come aboard in agreement that this is the best thing for both of us. We are both on very different levels and live much differently.

Another chapter begins as I try to move on and try to live a usefully whole life. This pertains to my training and BB in that I need to continue working out and having that as one of my most important focuses to keep me going. This enables me to put aside the things in my life that depress me that I have no control over.

Body Building has been a formal focus in my life for the most part, and has kept me alive during times of recklessness and self destruction. I had put my workouts to the wayside for other more disabling things only to make a comeback when my sanity returned and was able to refocus on the rewards and benefits of body building. For me and I know some others, BB is a tremendous tool in their lives.

Moving along with my life, working out in the gym one day at a time. ...crazy mike

[crazy mike]

Wednesday October 23

My workouts for the last three days have been great. I went back to my old routine of 3 days on and 1 off , 3 on 1 off. It feels good the first 3 days.

I found the different exercises and machines to use so I don't compress my spine. My traps are suffering but I think I might be able to hit them next by laying face down on an incline bench.

For legs they have a real good leg press machine with the plates and pins that didn't effect my lower spine at all. I got a good workout with that and the leg extension. Of course I used a seated leg curl machine for hamstrings , not working my back at all. Calves are a no brainer on some equipment.

As long as I stay away from standing curls, standing shrugs, squats and overhead press I'll be fine. I'm using more machines than I would like for mass building but I can only do what I can with this back problem which is not going to go away at my age. I am getting some perspective as to just what I'm able to endure safely and still build some mass.

I'm happy with what I can do and grateful I am able to just that, when so many guys my age cannot. In the past year I had gained 35 lbs. total, bloated. I am leaned out now losing 15 to 20 lbs. still leaving me with 12 - 15 lbs. of good lean mass. I think that is all anyone or at least me can expect in 1 yr. My year in BB has been a success while even suffering my hernia surgery and my current back injury.
...crazy mike

[probuild42]

^^I love the 3 on, 1 off routine^^ Tanking a break from it right now and going EOD as I am really busy and it feels good to rest a little more.

Keep it up man! Stay stong!

[crazy mike]

^^I love the 3 on, 1 off routine^^ Tanking a break from it right now and going EOD as I am really busy and it feels good to rest a little more.

Keep it up man! Stay stong!

Hey thanks man. I haven't done the 3 on 1 off since back I the 80's and I think this is what I need, I'm so acquainted with it. I have found a good way for me to rotate my muscle groups and hit them enough each 7 days without over training and getting enough rest. The fact that I don't work gives me that leverage to train when I want and on what days I want. ...crazy mike

[Buster Brown]

Always tough to have to work around an injury. When you are young it is so easy to take so many things for granted until you start to fall apart and re-invent yourself. Slow and steady wins the race both mentally and physically. Good luck and keep chugging along.