really need honest info please

**uneducatedgf** · 12-08-2015, 06:18 AM

Hi Everyone,

I am here only to try and find out more about steriods (oral vs injectable) anything really.
Now. Please bare with me & let me know if i don't belong here.
I am here because i am worried for my sons father.
Story short...
Over the history of our relationship we would have awesome times and like any relationship bad times
The prob was, the bad times were unexpected and very heated. But over nothing.
Anyway moving forward i couldnt understand the rage in him. But he changed and was back to the man i met.
The past say 6- 8 weeks (the same time when he decided he wanted to start training once again after quite a while) he has changed from being loving, supportive, and having time to now creating arguements by exploding for no reason. Has been short tempered with me, my son snd family members. With me though he really puts me down hurls emotional abuse, hate & degrading.
Ok im rambling - sorry.
On sunday.. i had an inkling he was experiencing roid rage (i have tried looking this up and where i read its true its exactly his reaction) but not sure entirely of the facts. So i asked him. I was worried.
When i did he first said oh what do ppl get angry on that stuff. Oh yeh roid rage (played like he never knew anything ) but the next breathe he said oh i remember once giving a mate testaroid (i dont know anything about it) abd he said it was too much.
Anyway. Then i said so do you use them for training he went nuts. I felt scared simply bc of the hate that came out of his mouth. He told me it was none of my buisness because i smoke and im going to die. Then he left and text me to say he takes a **** load of supplements and its his right.. but my question was about steroids .. then he just treated me like that for 3 days again. And today wanted to come over but i was too scared bc in his voice message he was still frustrated/cold.
I got him a small gift the other day after the way he spoke bc i hated that we wrre arguing and i just said i just want you to see we can be open and honest and im worried bc one minute you said you knew nothing then you said uou gave to a friend and now your angry saying extremely nasty things is so angry and cold. And im telling you the week before he exploded bc he dropped a couple of poatos in the sink, bc our son got a spoon from the drawer.. but god forbid if i speak. He hates me. Then few days later wont apologise just expects to come over and im meant to let him hug me and try touch me and hell say love you. But again if i speak, or even a few times i have gone to run my hands along his side and he snapped bc it was too hard! He used to love it.. its more like a tickle. Then he becomes abusive and then i get in trouble bc i wont want to be affectionate with him. Im hurt.
If i try talk about it he tells me he wants to walk and puts me down and blames me for everything.
Its got to the point im so worthless around him. I dont like how i feel and now i cant even reply. I havent attempted since sunday. He hung up on me once again bc i tried to communicate with him and he said ive given this call 12 mins of my time now im done oh and dont message me i cbf **hangs up** i ended up texting him i cant cope with this abuse any more. I raise 3 children on my own and work. Tells me i make him sick bc i dont do gym or have any dreams and i need to go study.
(I def dont have muscle;but weigh 62kg 168cm.) I have a decent job & my dreams are big he just only has time to talk about his dreams.
Anyway my questions are

1. How coyld i know he is using steroids? And not natural supplement drinks
2. If using steroids how could i know if he has injected?
- he has cheated on me before (when pregnant at least) so i know he doesnt really have any respect for me when he doesnt want to.
I am now scared to think he could have been injecting and i not known risks.

If he is this angry over nothing and wont answer (truth by omission?) And got so defensive and angry would i be wrong to assume he does take steroids?

Please dont be offended im not here to judge or put anyone down etc i just dont know enough. I dont really know details of anything he would only say testaoid? Or testarod? Previously.
But there was even one day wjen this very first started i went to visit him on my first day back and he was sleeping (he's always sleeping & then angry if he has too much or not enough) he is always sore. Hell be sore before training and says bc he needs to train. Then after training hes sore. Sometimes grympy sore.
A few times his testes were basically not there & once a few weeks ago i said omg where are they and he just fobbed it off.
Whilst in his abusive angry faze he has said nasty things about our sex life (which was always fantastic) and je could go and scream and swear at me and put me down and even stop me from having any conversation bc he wants to touch me or ask me how much he got me off the last time and just wont let up. Yet.. a few days earlier basically told me i was shit in bed. But later said he said it cos he was angry and just wanted to upset me.
Im just lost. I'm basically not able to deal with these put downs anymore and its safer for me to not even try speak or hell just get angry. I cant be his doormat anymore but i do need to know if he could be injecting for safety and also if i would be stupid to get a test for diseases at all.
I tried to talk compassionatley. I told him i worry for him and no matter how much i tried he just exploded and still.. 5 days later slides anything under the mat and im not allowed to know. Helllppp :, (

**bloodchoke** · 12-08-2015, 09:40 AM

Hi. I'm not a moderator for this forum so pardon me if I'm wrong but this isn't really what this forum is for. I do not convey that with a harsh tone; I'm just being frank. You can find better advice for this sort of thing somewhere else.

My two cents, just based on your post, is that you're living with a man who's big on the outside and tiny on the inside (there's no shortage of them..). You're not obligated to endure one single second of abuse. Every time you take his abuse, he respects you less AND your son is learning that it is okay to treat women (or people, in general) that way.

Not knowing how to communicate in a relationship is not uncommon. Not being willing to learn how to communicate in a relationship is intolerable. Best of luck.

**hawk14dl** · 12-08-2015, 10:28 AM

Sorry to hear about your predicament.

To answer your question, it does sound like he's using. Testicular shrinkage is common with use, If you don't use the right ancillary. Increased aggression is possible, but typically personalities are simply increased. An aggressive person is more aggressive. A cocky person is more so.

As for your personal situation. . As a father I'd say you're doing a disservice to your son by allowing him to see this type of behavior. It is not your fault that he's behaving in this manner, however so please don't think that. As was stated, he's obviously a small man in a big body. Personality problems won't fix themselves. You essentially have two options, restraining order or counseling. (Counseling may ultimately lead to restraining order, if he's as aggressive as you say).

I wish you the best of luck. Remember that above anything else, you have a responsibility to keep you and your children safe. You have no obligation to him, he's a grown man capable of taking care of himself.

**73rr** · 12-08-2015, 10:53 AM

As said, this isn't really the forum for this but I can tell u rood rage is not truly real. Your just advanced in your behavior. So if your a aggressive person your aggression will be high. This is controlled by most.

Maybe let him us steriod that is his choosing. But have a talk with him about controlling his mind!

**TheTaxMan** · 12-08-2015, 11:25 AM

Sounds like hes using to me from the sudden flip of personality changes,
I get like that but not as bad as your partner

If i were you id leave him, if he loves you he will realise what he has and come crawling back.

Its pretty easy to hide steroid use but the personality change isnt as easy to hide.

As for diseases unless hes sharing needles with random people it should be fine, but if he cheats on you when pregnant and treats you like you have described, you can never be too sure. And i wouldnt ask him, it could quickly escalate to physical abuse from your description of his temper.

Since you asked about steroid use he admits to using supplements which i think is his way of cowardly admitting to steroid use (im pretty much judging here but it sounds like it, im good at telling lies and would consider using that line if i wanted to admit there is a change but without using the forbidden steroid word)

Good luck

**Oki-Des** · 12-08-2015, 03:41 PM

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Usually when people take steroids , and eat properly, they can gain 25 pounds or so within a few months. Unless simply gaining fat alone, this is nearly impossible without taking steroids. And, as mentioned above, without the proper ancillaries the testicles will get smaller. Aside from that, it can be hard without testing to determine what is causing his behavior. But, it really should not matter. If someone is treating you bad then that is the primary issue. If someone hit you when they drank, they might have a drinking problem. But isnt the fact that they hit you more important than the excuse they use as to what caused them too? Steroids increase male hormones and men can be jerks without steroids. But jerks on steroids can become bigger jerks. Real men, who use steroids have no problem controlling themselves. But, like I said, it should not matter why he is being a jerk as much as the fact that he seems to be. It is one thing to date someone who is a jerk, but when kids are involved you have to put them first. Of course a child needs their father, but only if that person is a decent role model. If a father is a total butt hole and abusive then any child is far better off without them in my opinion. Good luck and again, sorry for your troubles.

**uneducatedgf** · 12-08-2015, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Oki-Des

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Usually when people take steroids, and eat properly, they can gain 25 pounds or so within a few months. Unless simply gaining fat alone, this is nearly impossible without taking steroids. And, as mentioned above, without the proper ancillaries the testicles will get smaller. Aside from that, it can be hard without testing to determine what is causing his behavior. But, it really should not matter. If someone is treating you bad then that is the primary issue. If someone hit you when they drank, they might have a drinking problem. But isnt the fact that they hit you more important than the excuse they use as to what caused them too? Steroids increase male hormones and men can be jerks without steroids. But jerks on steroids can become bigger jerks. Real men, who use steroids have no problem controlling themselves. But, like I said, it should not matter why he is being a jerk as much as the fact that he seems to be. It is one thing to date someone who is a jerk, but when kids are involved you have to put them first. Of course a child needs their father, but only if that person is a decent role model. If a father is a total butt hole and abusive then any child is far better off without them in my opinion. Good luck and again, sorry for your troubles.

Thank you very much for your time, you are all right & thats why i have stopped contact. I know it will get a lot worse but i did what i could.
I realised he has been obsessive about saying "omg ive put so much weight on look... im bloated. Im fat" but he only started saying that recently. Maybe he wanted to see if i noticed he was bulking i dont know but yeh... he can be quite mean when he wants so im sure it only assists making it worse.
It doesnt matter to me if he wants to do it anymore. But it worries me for our son.
I know im not an ugly person inside or out!im understanding and loyal but seriously... no one deserves this and i TRULY TRULY thank each of you for your time.

**fxrjuiceman** · 12-08-2015, 07:49 PM

Road rage is fake something the media made up

**MrFreshmaker** · 12-08-2015, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by fxrjuiceman

Road rage is fake something the media made up

Road rage is real,roid rage maybe it's fake..Lol

**uneducatedgf** · 12-08-2015, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by MrFreshmaker

Road rage is real,roid rage maybe it's fake..Lol

Haha. True

**uneducatedgf** · 12-08-2015, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by TheTaxMan

Sounds like hes using to me from the sudden flip of personality changes,
I get like that but not as bad as your partner

If i were you id leave him, if he loves you he will realise what he has and come crawling back.

Its pretty easy to hide steroid use but the personality change isnt as easy to hide.

As for diseases unless hes sharing needles with random people it should be fine, but if he cheats on you when pregnant and treats you like you have described, you can never be too sure. And i wouldnt ask him, it could quickly escalate to physical abuse from your description of his temper.

Since you asked about steroid use he admits to using supplements which i think is his way of cowardly admitting to steroid use (im pretty much judging here but it sounds like it, im good at telling lies and would consider using that line if i wanted to admit there is a change but without using the forbidden steroid word)

Good luck

Thank you for your honesty

**fxrjuiceman** · 12-08-2015, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by MrFreshmaker

Road rage is real,roid rage maybe it's fake..Lol

oh dam that's a good one. Just saw the typo

**Bonaparte** · 12-09-2015, 06:39 PM

What does it matter whether or not he is using steroids , PCP, or anything else? It wouldn't excuse his behavior. And who cares about his health if you're going to leave him? Injections vs orals is of no consequence to you, since steroid users don't share needles and catch Hep C or HIV from each other like IV drug users.
But if you're concerned about murderous steroid rage that he can't control, that's a myth.
And they're not physically addictive, so it's not like you can just force him into rehab and have your old husband back.

**Mr.BB** · 12-09-2015, 07:28 PM

^^^this

Who cares about steroids , if you think he hates you just leave him, plenty of fish in the ocean. Steroids do not excuse him of anything.

Steroids are just hormones, just like the ones you find on birth control pill, but the male version.

Go find a decent fella, you and your kids deserve it!

**Far from massive** · 12-09-2015, 07:31 PM

Don't walk run...

Yes he is probably using steroids from what you have said about testicles emotion etc. That said, while steroids will make one more prone to anger when aggravated, his behavior is not that of a normal adult on or off steroids, he sounds like he is an emotionally unstable guy who and steroids are just aggravating an underlying condition.

Life is too short to spend feeling the way you do. Break it off and let him deal with his own problems...unless you enjoy codependency. In which case carry on, however your on your own.

Good luck.

PS Just saw you have kids, forget about the comment on codependency you owe it to your kids to get out of this situation quickly.

**uneducatedgf** · 12-11-2015, 03:56 AM

Originally Posted by Mr.BB

^^^this

Who cares about steroids , if you think he hates you just leave him, plenty of fish in the ocean. Steroids do not excuse him of anything.

Steroids are just hormones, just like the ones you find on birth control pill, but the male version.

Go find a decent fella, you and your kids deserve it!

Thanks

No, it doesn't matter whether he is treating me this way because of steriods or anything else, but if he has our son on weekends it does affect him what he is doing that may be causing this temper. I'm not the type of woman to spite a partner via kids, but also don't wabt to expose my kids to what i couldn't deal with enotionally myself thats all.
Thanks for taking the time.

**uneducatedgf** · 12-11-2015, 04:02 AM

Originally Posted by Bonaparte

What does it matter whether or not he is using steroids , PCP, or anything else? It wouldn't excuse his behavior. And who cares about his health if you're going to leave him? Injections vs orals is of no consequence to you, since steroid users don't share needles and catch Hep C or HIV from each other like IV drug users.
But if you're concerned about murderous steroid rage that he can't control, that's a myth.
And they're not physically addictive, so it's not like you can just force him into rehab and have your old husband back.

I didnt know that re: contracting such diseases.... i have read a lot about steriods and i have read a lot about they will exacerbate anger thats already there and that is him at times normally. Alcohol used to set him off. But it was more the way he gaslighted when asked... exactly the same as when he cheated.
Anyway doesn't matter anymore this time im over caring.

thanks for your reply. I know this isnt the place for my questions so do appreciate.

**uneducatedgf** · 12-11-2015, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by Far from massive

Don't walk run...

Yes he is probably using steroids from what you have said about testicles emotion etc. That said, while steroids will make one more prone to anger when aggravated, his behavior is not that of a normal adult on or off steroids, he sounds like he is an emotionally unstable guy who and steroids are just aggravating an underlying condition.

Life is too short to spend feeling the way you do. Break it off and let him deal with his own problems...unless you enjoy codependency. In which case carry on, however your on your own.
. All the best.
Good luck.

PS Just saw you have kids, forget about the comment on codependency you owe it to your kids to get out of this situation quickly.

Correct. I definately not the woman that needs to cling to a man. Ive been critisized for being so far the opposite lol.

I too have thought for a long time he is unstable but just puts on a massive front and anytime his true colours shine he cant cope and either lies or uses blame to bring others down.
I couldn't have ever predicted this when we met or even when i fell pregnant but i guess its not my guilt to live with.
I honestly beleive he has a nassasistic personality disorder and if using... that doesn't help that.
Ive been a bit of a doormat just to keep the peace and or support him (he said he had changed and was really down about throwing me away in the first place) -bull.
I fully support him going to the gym but he becomes a monster when he does. Constantly wants admiration after sex. How good was it. Did you... was i... etc. Its just simply him.
I'm no glamour, or youngin... but i don't think im that bad to hang onto if it was love. Anyway... rambling now. Goodluck to him & thank you so so so so much for your time