Quote Originally Posted by PT1982 View Post
That's great to hear. Life without narcotics! I was started at 60 hydrocodone 10mgs a month about 10 years ago, after tramadol was just making me sick. I was upped to 90 within a few months before landing at 120 a month. This went on for several years and I would taper for a few weeks once I built a tolerance. So I did keep it under control. After several years, my GP was no longer to write scripts for chronic pain and sent me to pain management. They tried to start me on 150 roxicodone 30s a month with 120 hydrocodone for breakthrough pain. I walked out on them because I immediately saw that they cared nothing about my health, only about legally selling drugs. So once I went my own way, I have had no accountability, and spend way more than its worth. I can function at 40mgs daily, but I need 60-80 to get the actual pain relief. I ended up coming clean with my dr 2 weeks ago and didn't hide anything. I've never told anyone about it, and not even the closest people in my life know about it. So I'm being proactive in getting help legally and in a way that there is accountability. I've been made to feel like a junkie for a long time, and as you (and others who deal with chronic pain) know that 40-80mgs isn't enough to be considered a "junkie" dose. Sure, it would be high for a temporary acute issue, but over 10 years of use, there will be a tolerance. Anyways, that's my rant. I wish I could completely come off and have no pain, but I know that's a dream. It seems that with every new year, my body turns on itself a little more. I have tried everything and I'm even starting physical therapy in a few weeks.
Wow... It's amazing how many of us land in the same boat(with pain killers) it's almost like the members I met here have torn their bodies up and obviously so!

I really thank you for sharing and like Cape stated it all starts with steps... At any time you feel the need to share or ask or just rant please do - this thread is for everything life throws at us and how we're willing to help one another get thru these times b/c this place has really helped me stay on track(i.e.; just not wanting to let down the people I've come close with and now call friends)!!!

I'll share a lil bit as to where I ended up... After my 3rd shoulder surgery I was up to 15-20 30s a day - after my accident 15 80mg oxys a day they couldn't even knock me out for surgeries anymore or I'd wake up in the middle of them... So having the accountability you did and kept yourself at you did things as best you could and I really respect that... I quit! I Just wanted to feel numb... However, when enough is enough, you know like I do and many others do, we come to that conclusion ourselves and it has to be that way, Otherwise we won't stay the course.

I'd love to get that relief from(even now I'd need 4-6 30s a day) to start just due to past tolerance which is a big kick in the balls... And you touched on something that not many do... I felt(and I was compared to you) an addict very addicted to these drugs just to function! But when the Drs that give it to you turn on you and make you feel like the lowest of the low and the worst criminals out there... In reality we did not choose this life I know I'd give my pancreas(since no spleen lol) to have a normal shoulder of just a RC tear lol... I'm running out of organs hahaha j/kn, but you know how it is!

I'm really happy u shared and all the best to you and your family just give it time - know that the sleep will be the hardest part and last part that comes back, unfortunately! If you ever need anything just ask I'll pm you and we can talk some more brother! In the mean time stay the course which I believe your already there with your attitude and fortitude!