Depressed? A healthy way out!

[hammerheart]

i avg about 6 hours a night, 11pm to 5am

i do not know what it feels like to sleep for more than 8 hours, can't tell you the last time that has happened.

are you wearing yourself out, physically? maybe that can overcome the mental part of it, exhaust the shit out of yourself

Total amount of time doesn't matter that much as quality, I wake up exhausted actually even after 10hrs of sleep and last time I had a truly refreshing one I was still a teenage probably.

[RaginCajun]

DJ Screw, powerful stuff right there! This place is great, full of inspiring people!

Do you have any hobbies besides the gym?

Stay strong!

[NACH3]

Went and got my neck and back done but by a reiki specialist and all I gotta say is it worked well... she did say it was tough to even get through the muscle into the nerves - weird thing I slept the whole time but like I heard her inner self chanting stuff.... Idk but it's seemed to work lol[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately, I'm not feeling up to lifting and it feels I'm at a crossroads... I know I'm strong while doing HIT - but the longevity of it seems almost impossible... just feeling a bit down atm... I know it'll pass it's just such a mindfuck!

I love lifting heavy and am setting PRs 295 for MP at 6+ reps with forced reps yet feel like I'm burning myself out or one thing I know I'm not eating enough either!

Any thoughts that can help I'm all ears... it's leading to a depressed state - I put way too much pressure on myself instead of doing what I can - also longevity is creeping into my mind?!

[Obs]

Switch up everything you can and do the opposite of what you feel. When you feel like being alone go see a friend and have a beer etc.
All I know is being still and falling into routine makes it sooo much worse, its like depression fertilizer. Good luck, hope you come out soon.

[Kay kay]

Kel kel is a living example of how HIT can be managed while getting older.

[< <Samson> >]

Sure, why not - I'll take part in the juicer depression thread


Well, for one being on any form of hormones will fuck with your mind somewhere.


Personally I feel that I have my hormoned up emotions under control quite well now.



But, man oh man do things like to test me here lately. . . Work is up & down like no other. People who I have had the most confidence in as good solid go to people turned their back on me like I never existed - even after year of being there for them.


And - now, being clean & drug free for a fairly long time I get looked down upon. . . This is after years of working my ass off to get here.


I get anxiety like no other now - without Xanax I'd never even sleep anymore.


On the positive note - all of this negative shit really doesn't depress me anymore at all. Feels like shit tho - but, I'm not depressed one bit.


It's all a mind game - and thankfully I have no "real" reason to be depressed over.

[NACH3]

Sure, why not - I'll take part in the juicer depression thread


Well, for one being on any form of hormones will fuck with your mind somewhere.


Personally I feel that I have my hormoned up emotions under control quite well now.



But, man oh man do things like to test me here lately. . . Work is up & down like no other. People who I have had the most confidence in as good solid go to people turned their back on me like I never existed - even after year of being there for them.

I'm in the same boat have been for yrs I literally have one best friend who'd been there for me thru everything and continues to do so
After not drinking for 10+ yrs I picked up recently for 6minths and got my first DUI put myself right back in treatment and it was more that I needed a blockage between the substance and myself more than anything but haven't touched opiates or anything hard core in almost 6yrs now crazy we can think of controlling something when we're addictes imho


And - now, being clean & drug free for a fairly long time I get looked down upon. . . This is after years of working my ass off to get here.


I get anxiety like no other now - without Xanax I'd never even sleep anymore.


On the positive note - all of this negative shit really doesn't depress me anymore at all. Feels like shit tho - but, I'm not depressed one bit.


It's all a mind game - and thankfully I have no "real" reason to be depressed over.

My anxiety is so fukin high I can't be off klonopin at all plus it's for seizures as well then tried seeming me off yet 3-4 days later had a granma seizure stopped breathing for 2+ minutes and then seized again after first coming too

I get where your coming from it does suck especially when you want to come off these drugs etc

Best of luck and hope all stays well and even gets better

[hammerheart]

Endogenous dysfunctions can play a big role as well, I might have found a reason why the fatigue got so bad at times I barely manage to move - my cortisol (morning reading that's is) is bottomed out, should of investigate further.

[DocToxin8]

When I get really fucked up, like a recent little attack I've had,
I remember to think that if I just start by doing and think about the stuff I need to be happy, then I'll in turn be ready to spread it to others.

[Obs]

Anxiety and depression run hand in hand. Figured I would point out my issues have never fully left. I figure they won't. One of my biggest issues is when I get drunk.

Getting drunk means usually the next three days I will be totally shut off. I get anxiety so severe after being drunk that I literally try to stay to myself. Every little bad thing I have done in my life gets put on replay over and over for three days.

I do not understand it. I am not human after being drunk. I am just a shell and all I feel is self hatred. Ithas to be chemical. I like to go out and drink a few toomany sometimes butgood god it terrible afterwards.

I read a psycology bookthat said anxiety after drinking is a sure sign of alcohol dependancy and that I should staty away. I must say though, after being drunk, I usually hate the anxiety so bad I have no desire to drink for weeks. I don't believe it is dependancy. Its just some malfunction in my brain.

Not crying out for help or anything, I am in control of it, just curious if anyone else has this issue.

[< <Samson> >]

1 - relapse later

I'm still fine - I feel that juice & gym really help me keep my head together when nothing else has a rhyme or reason.

And, I'm addicted to everything - well, after I start to like it


I am drinking at about 1/5th the rate of last year & so on. I'm not even taking xAnax for sleep anymore - maybe once a week


Just smoke this fancy new weed oil shit - fvck regi weed. Shit gave me a cough from hell & made me wheez on the treadmill. I use this crap like any other med - low as possible to get the most result.


So far, so good

[hammerheart]

Been growing pissed about training lately, was doing fairly until the week other then could only do less volume/load after each session, until barely able to manage to warm-up, exhausted at that point already. Both vascularity and pump are gone, strength went down significantly, I feel and look flabby and flat.

Getting more and more apathetic, lethargic, and fatigued, no motivation, no nothing... just a zombie mellow feeling that everything that happens is fine, can't react.

Thyroid is fine, what I did was an attempt to adjust my TRT for the better, but evidently failed. It's been years I've been putting up with regularly, with a few okay-ish bits of time here and there.

My healthy way out seems obstructed, might need to seek alternative way of treatment (as an adjunct) to compensate for the above...really tired of this crap.

[MuscleScience]

Anxiety and depression run hand in hand. Figured I would point out my issues have never fully left. I figure they won't. One of my biggest issues is when I get drunk.

Getting drunk means usually the next three days I will be totally shut off. I get anxiety so severe after being drunk that I literally try to stay to myself. Every little bad thing I have done in my life gets put on replay over and over for three days.

I do not understand it. I am not human after being drunk. I am just a shell and all I feel is self hatred. Ithas to be chemical. I like to go out and drink a few toomany sometimes butgood god it terrible afterwards.

I read a psycology bookthat said anxiety after drinking is a sure sign of alcohol dependancy and that I should staty away. I must say though, after being drunk, I usually hate the anxiety so bad I have no desire to drink for weeks. I don't believe it is dependancy. Its just some malfunction in my brain.

Not crying out for help or anything, I am in control of it, just curious if anyone else has this issue.

My anxiety is so fukin high I can't be off klonopin at all plus it's for seizures as well then tried seeming me off yet 3-4 days later had a granma seizure stopped breathing for 2+ minutes and then seized again after first coming too

I get where your coming from it does suck especially when you want to come off these drugs etc

Best of luck and hope all stays well and even gets better

1 - relapse later

I'm still fine - I feel that juice & gym really help me keep my head together when nothing else has a rhyme or reason.

And, I'm addicted to everything - well, after I start to like it


I am drinking at about 1/5th the rate of last year & so on. I'm not even taking xAnax for sleep anymore - maybe once a week


Just smoke this fancy new weed oil shit - fvck regi weed. Shit gave me a cough from hell & made me wheez on the treadmill. I use this crap like any other med - low as possible to get the most result.


So far, so good

Been growing pissed about training lately, was doing fairly until the week other then could only do less volume/load after each session, until barely able to manage to warm-up, exhausted at that point already. Both vascularity and pump are gone, strength went down significantly, I feel and look flabby and flat.

Getting more and more apathetic, lethargic, and fatigued, no motivation, no nothing... just a zombie mellow feeling that everything that happens is fine, can't react.

Thyroid is fine, what I did was an attempt to adjust my TRT for the better, but evidently failed. It's been years I've been putting up with regularly, with a few okay-ish bits of time here and there.

My healthy way out seems obstructed, might need to seek alternative way of treatment (as an adjunct) to compensate for the above...really tired of this crap.

Just stay positive guys and keep the ships bow pointed into the waves. I guess that means keep moving forward even if the tide is strong or something like that. Very few people will ever admit when they have a problem and even fewer aim to correct it. A stumble is just a stumble, try not to let a stumble spiral Further and further downward. It’s really hard to claw back up from rock bottom.

And no it’s not easy but life will never take a day off. That’s why we are so fortunate to have an outlet like we do. We can go in and in an hour or less shave off 23hrs of frustration and anger. Today, I actually got pissed off lifting. Marcus mentioned something about going at every exercise as if the weights had smacked your ol ladies arse right in front of you. (Read that last bit in a British accent in your head, it’s kinda funny.) I did that and went up 10 lbs on one of my lifts.

[Obs]

Just stay positive guys and keep the ships bow pointed into the waves. I guess that means keep moving forward even if the tide is strong or something like that. Very few people will ever admit when they have a problem and even fewer aim to correct it. A stumble is just a stumble, try not to let a stumble spiral Further and further downward. It’s really hard to claw back up from rock bottom.

And no it’s not easy but life will never take a day off. That’s why we are so fortunate to have an outlet like we do. We can go in and in an hour or less shave off 23hrs of frustration and anger. Today, I actually got pissed off lifting. Marcus mentioned something about going at every exercise as if the weights had smacked your ol ladies arse right in front of you. (Read that last bit in a British accent in your head, it’s kinda funny.) I did that and went up 10 lbs on one of my lifts.

Anger can help overcome many things.
I have gotten to a natural point where when I feel defeated I shut off everything and it all turns to hatred and anger.

Giving up is not possible if you channel emotions properly. That doesnt mean you go around being an ass hat or hurt/ be mean to people but you can damn sure keep a fire under your feet. It has worked in business and the gym for me.

It kinda works in bed too...

[MuscleScience]

Anger can help overcome many things.
I have gotten to a natural point where when I feel defeated I shut off everything and it all turns to hatred and anger.

Giving up is not possible if you channel emotions properly. That doesnt mean you go around being an ass hat or hurt/ be mean to people but you can damn sure keep a fire under your feet. It has worked in business and the gym for me.

It kinda works in bed too...

I bottle up my emotions and that will manifest as anger or even rage. I don’t think at least in my case to bottle everything in is healthy. You got to channel it out somewhere. When you are under stress and that energy enters your body, it has to be channeled or released some how. I’m not speaking metaphorically either. Stress builds up in the body and effects organ systems and neural pathways. It can’t be kept in the system for long or it overloads. Or body is really nothing more than a very elegantly built power plant. You simple can’t keep it in forever.

[Obs]

I bottle up my emotions and that will manifest as anger or even rage. I don’t think at least in my case to bottle everything in is healthy. You got to channel it out somewhere. When you are under stress and that energy enters your body, it has to be channeled or released some how. I’m not speaking metaphorically either. Stress builds up in the body and effects organ systems and neural pathways. It can’t be kept in the system for long or it overloads. Or body is really nothing more than a very elegantly built power plant. You simple can’t keep it in forever.

Hold it in you get
180/110.
I Don't have high bp. I just got turbo hydraulic boost.

I worry about biz. Need to get him fucked. MS you can take one for the team right?

[EDCG19]

I bottle up my emotions and that will manifest as anger or even rage. I don’t think at least in my case to bottle everything in is healthy. You got to channel it out somewhere. When you are under stress and that energy enters your body, it has to be channeled or released some how. I’m not speaking metaphorically either. Stress builds up in the body and effects organ systems and neural pathways. It can’t be kept in the system for long or it overloads. Or body is really nothing more than a very elegantly built power plant. You simple can’t keep it in forever.

What's a good way to get the stress out healthy without drinking or getting high out of your mind because you can't deal with what is going on?

I usually bottle everything up and than one day at works things start unraveling ...

[Quester]

Biz,
Perhaps these feelings/thought mask something that you are to focussed to attend too? Perhaps they accompany a positive change that threatens to make you a different person?

[hammerheart]

Biz,
Perhaps these feelings/thought mask something that you are to focussed to attend too? Perhaps they accompany a positive change that threatens to make you a different person?

Those from my younger days are long gone and buried in the past nowadays I'm just overrun but more material circumstances so to speak, yet it's always the same theme - and the same as yours - it's about being a better person than I am and while I only had self-loathing and lassitude to hold me back 10 years ago now the challenges got real, tougher and probably just too many than I can put up with.

[< <Samson> >]

Shit, I thought I "over thought" things - I don't take things nowhere near as serious as I once have.

Not saying, not to be cautious with things - but, don't let yourself bring yourself down.


Fvck - I'm happier than ever, just to see another day. The rest will follow - one way or another.

[guitarzan]

Depression is something I don't think we'll ever understand completely. I think it's something everyone has, some just worse than others. This January, my father in law/friend lost their house to a fire, and a few days later he stuck a .357 in his mouth. He left a letter admitting arson. I think it was his plan to take his life the entire time. We were together everyday, worked together, and we hung out most everyday after work. I never saw it coming.

It was a rough seven months with mother in law living with us! However, I can be thankful, because she inspired me to quit smoking and drinking everyday. I watched her nearly caugh her lungs up everyday, but continue to smoke two packs a day. I've smoked, and/or dipped for 30 years. Every time I tried to quit the cravens were too strong. After watching her, something inside me clicked, and I quit end of may. I haven't had any cravens!

I had started Jan 1rst to get back in shape, but this ordeal screwed that up, I thought. I didn't realize my mother in law was gonna give me more motivation than ever. I now only drink occasionally, I allow myself once a week, and it's usually just a few. Since Jan I've lost little over 50lbs, and maintained muscle. Most of it since June

[hammerheart]

Cool, I quit smoking habitually at 18 (started 13). It happens yearly that I restart for about two weeks then quit (or just have a Toscano).

I never developed any addiction to it for some reason it's easy for me to quit, I don't get any craving of any sort.

[guitarzan]

I had reflux so bad I went to the emergency room last year thinking I was having s heart attack. Turns out it was just my esophagus spasm. I was taking nexium every day, Zantac twice a day and eating tums. Two weeks after I stopped smoking, the reflux went away! I'd stopped dippping a few months before. Smoking is terrible, so glad I was able to quit

[< <Samson> >]

I still smoke cigarettes, but not like anyone I know. . . Last pack I bought, was about a month ago - out of the pack I smoked about a half dozen cigarettes & gave away the rest.

I'll go weeks at a time without even having one



Still kinda interesting to me that I still do here & there.

[kronik420]

your all a bunch of quitters

[< <Samson> >]

Shit, I'm addicted to this whole living thing the most

[hammerheart]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

[marcus300]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

You ok mate?
I struggle this time of year myself. Try and pick the good parts and focus on what makes you happy.

[MuscleScience]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

Get out and meet some people bud, there is a world full of interesting people. Some are just as lonely.

[< <Samson> >]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.



Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously




Only reason why I even have this much time to sit here & read is because me & my son just got home from ER. He got the flu, spread it to me - then his moved into his lungs. . . . 30 hours later, we are back home.


So, oh well - I don't feel bad for him or myself. . . . But, I do feel awful for the kids I seen in the kids wing that look like they have been there for weeks if not months.

[Obs]

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.





Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously




Only reason why I even have this much time to sit here & read is because me & my son just got home from ER. He got the flu, spread it to me - then his moved into his lungs. . . . 30 hours later, we are back home.


So, oh well - I don't feel bad for him or myself. . . . But, I do feel awful for the kids I seen in the kids wing that look like they have been there for weeks if not months.

You are welcome!

Seriously though BIZZARO fuck being unhappy.
Single? Lonely? Burnt out?

Pack a bag and hit the road. Become a jouneyman wtf ever you want for money. Fuck a different girl at a different bar every night you can and travel the world. Jump at the chance of time off and kick anyone outta your life that tries to change you by manipulatively saying, "You care about yourself more than me".

YUUUP !!! Sounds terrible but if I am faced with a person that forces me to choose between lifting and aas and them... They are going bye bye.

Never change yourself to suit others. They want to bring you down so you can be miserable like they are because they have no drive or aspiration. Once you cut out the non-hackers from your life you can make it as beautiful as you want.

If your conscience is one of the non-hackers bringing you down, you are gonna have to do away with that motherfucker too.

You can escape your conscience. Conscience is one of those man made religious things you don't need to be a good man. A conscience is built by the people in your enviornments you are subjected to as a child and adult.
Stick a knife in your conscience and turn your back on it. All you gotta do is step in any direction and mean it and you will get what you desire.

My conscience ruined my life for 29 years before I got control of it.

[hammerheart]

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.



Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously

I'm 28 and it's been like this for a decade already, I used to cope with easiness but other factors weighted in and had me drained, I don't really know where to find myself anymore.

I don't really take life any seriously...

You are welcome!

Seriously though BIZZARO fuck being unhappy.
Single? Lonely? Burnt out?

Pack a bag and hit the road. Become a jouneyman wtf ever you want for money. Fuck a different girl at a different bar every night you can and travel the world. Jump at the chance of time off and kick anyone outta your life that tries to change you by manipulatively saying, "You care about yourself more than me".

YUUUP !!! Sounds terrible but if I am faced with a person that forces me to choose between lifting and aas and them... They are going bye bye.

Never change yourself to suit others. They want to bring you down so you can be miserable like they are because they have no drive or aspiration. Once you cut out the non-hackers from your life you can make it as beautiful as you want.

If your conscience is one of the non-hackers bringing you down, you are gonna have to do away with that motherfucker too.

You can escape your conscience. Conscience is one of those man made religious things you don't need to be a good man. A conscience is built by the people in your enviornments you are subjected to as a child and adult.
Stick a knife in your conscience and turn your back on it. All you gotta do is step in any direction and mean it and you will get what you desire.

My conscience ruined my life for 29 years before I got control of it.

Oh, that was my dream in my early 20s but you know, circumstances eventually had me locked down in my hometown.

Trust me, I had to learn that lesson way early in life. I was literally forced or otherwise deceived into embracing miserable ways of approaching life, but even as a kid I was able to see through the veil of BS. I thus spit in the face of super-imposed believes and limitations and kept my head up. That, is one few things I can claim myself proud of.

I don't really feel sad btw just mad angry at times. I just wish to be happy on my own like I used to, I can't seem to roll back where I was and I believe the reason why is I feel utterly empty inside, no more "me" to be found. Lack of intimate relationships also is probably a big factor at play even though I'm not fully aware of it, it's not so much the sex part as the affective, but best course of action is for me to feel with myself before anything, yet I can't...

[< <Samson> >]

Word

You got kids?

Life is just too short to waste time feeling like shit. If I wasn't content where I'm at, I'd dip ASAP - And, I have a kid, a house & a 2nd wife. . . . . . Where I'm at personally, is I still want more - but, without drastic changes or moves. . . . Yeah, that's kinda going nowhere atm. . . . But, like I said - I am very content where I'm at(for now at least).



I sure did lose most of my faith in humanity after this year that's for sure. My own family flipped me the bird, wife's family did the same after taking them in & treating them like my own for years. Multiple friends just turned their back on me and one another like nothing - Oh well, fvck them - I am still me & that will stand until the day I kick the bucket.

[hammerheart]

Word

You got kids?

Life is just too short to waste time feeling like shit. If I wasn't content where I'm at, I'd dip ASAP - And, I have a kid, a house & a 2nd wife. . . . . . Where I'm at personally, is I still want more - but, without drastic changes or moves. . . . Yeah, that's kinda going nowhere atm. . . . But, like I said - I am very content where I'm at(for now at least).



I sure did lose most of my faith in humanity after this year that's for sure. My own family flipped me the bird, wife's family did the same after taking them in & treating them like my own for years. Multiple friends just turned their back on me and one another like nothing - Oh well, fvck them - I am still me & that will stand until the day I kick the bucket.

Nope I've never been into a relationship. Had a few good friends but lost them. My family of origin is an argument best avoided but it's enough to say I can't think of "family" as anything positive. But I don't feel any resentful towards ppl in general, my issue is with the words in bold.

[< <Samson> >]

Interesting

Apparently, I still need to work on my psychological diagnosis skills.

[Obs]

Just my opinion biz, if you are single you ain't stuck anywhere unless you are on parole.

Relationships even getvended when people decide their life is pulling in a different direction. One life biz its not to late to live it.

[hammerheart]

Just my opinion biz, if you are single you ain't stuck anywhere unless you are on parole.

Relationships even getvended when people decide their life is pulling in a different direction. One life biz its not to late to live it.

Noted. It's just the chronic asthenia that slows me down, it started as early as teenage, and TRT didn't help at all with it, quite the contrary.

I didn't mean I wish to be in a relationship btw, in fact I barely understand why ppl get in, but after being a social outcast almost whole of my life I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

[< <Samson> >]

I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

[Obs]

Noted. It's just the chronic asthenia that slows me down, it started as early as teenage, and TRT didn't help at all with it, quite the contrary.

I didn't mean I wish to be in a relationship btw, in fact I barely understand why ppl get in, but after being a social outcast almost whole of my life I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

I like to fuck. Give me pussy a couple times a week or day when cycling and I have no further need for human interaction.

[hammerheart]

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

I have been down that avenue at multiple points but never felt it was the right approach, but what's important ultimately is that we feel fine with ourselves I believe.

I like to fuck. Give me pussy a couple times a week or day when cycling and I have no further need for human interaction.

Two times a week sounds scant, but a guess it can work that way also... you already know I can only have a spurious experience with sex cause of the anhedonia but I got something brewing for the coming year that might fix it as well as many other issues I've encountered with TRT.

There's hope...