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  1. #1
    bermich's Avatar
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    Girls who keep that ONE condom

    Anyone ever wonder why girls have the most generic condoms ever.
    You are happy you are getting laid and she goes to her drawer to get a condom for you. She gives you this condom that you have NEVER heard of before. Like one of those things you get from a prank shop that is in a match book or something. Non lubricated, non spermicdial, piece of rubber. Might as well buy a water balloon and try putting that on cause it is almost the same.
    Still, you dont care cause you want to get inside that piece of ass only to find out that it breaks while you try to put it on. Well no shlt it breaks. She probably had it for 5 years from her previous boyfriend who bought it at the dollar store on his way over to her house.
    So now what do you do? Do you still have sex and try to pretend you didnt know it was broke or do you tell her. Of course you dont tell her because you KNOW she only has THAT ONE condom in her drawer and no others. Girls keep that ONE condom for cases like this not thinking about a back up. Guys have like 50 condoms of all assortments so the girl has no excuse for not putting out.
    She cant complain about spermicide or lubrication or ribbed cause you have one of all types.
    So anyway, back to telling her it broke. Once you tell her it broke, you know she wont let you have sex so it just turns out to be a hand jerk off and a finger bang. YAY!!! So do you have sex anyway and pull out cumming in your hand hiding the evidence so she doesnt freak out if she finds out the condom was broke???? She will just think she has to buy more of those condoms cause it was the most NATURAL feeling condom she has ever experienced.

    Then you wonder why she has condoms in her drawer anyway. How many does she have and how many does she use on a nightly basis. Is it just that emergancy one or are there hundreds. Does she have a preferance or does she just bum one off a guy at a bar?

    Am I the only one who finds it impossoible to find the right end of the condom
    Just when you think you have it on right, you find out it wont unroll any further cause it is on the wrong side. Trying to determine which end is up while it is in the package is impossible and I keep forgetting. Once open, it is usually under the covers, in the dark and you are horny as all hell and have just one thing on your mind. You arent trying to put it on correctly, you are just trying to put it on as quickly as possible.
    So now, with only one hand, you are trying to tear open the package, put it on the right way and still trying to rub her tits and pussy with the other hand at the same time.

  2. #2
    palme's Avatar
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    See this is why i dont use condomes.

  3. #3
    bor's Avatar
    bor
    bor is offline D-bol Poppin'
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    Now that was a good read, glad to see you're posting again!

  4. #4
    Animal Cracker's Avatar
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    And that is strange- because a chick that keeps her own condom, is no stranger to them! One would think that she would tote the best!

  5. #5
    co2boi's Avatar
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    Well, look on the bright side, no matter WHY she has condoms, at least she has them so (a) you can get laid [theoretically] (b) she's probably been safe in the past and if she hasn't, well, she has a condom.

    If you feel as if she is "safe" then just don't tell her and pull out when it's time. If she asks why, just say "I don't really trust these things", then when it starts leaking you can say "SEE!! Case in point, I told you!!" Now you got booty and you are her hero. Werd...

  6. #6
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    If you're a guy and you are sexually active, then you are the one who should have a trusty/good condom w/you when you go out and have encounters like this.

    ~SC~

  7. #7
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    Yeah -- the last time that happened to me she pulled out this no-name brand, non-lubed condom. It was like a hunk of rubber on my rod. I still hit it though, with no complaints.

  8. #8
    Psychotron's Avatar
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    haha, this is why you prepare yourself before you go out for the night.

  9. #9
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    you ever come across the girl that has the trogan box with only one left. then you start wondering. how long has she had this box. did she bye it last week and run thru it already. but then you remember that you are about to hit it put the **** thing on and go at it

  10. #10
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    for whatever reason

    i'm skeptical of any girl who carries condoms on her.

  11. #11
    Mart651's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    i'm skeptical of any girl who carries condoms on her.

    Me too. I have been with a few girls in my life and the ones who carried condoms were always freaky. not that i minded but not realy marriage material.

  12. #12
    Dally's Avatar
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    What The Hell Are Condoms?

  13. #13
    co2boi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    i'm skeptical of any girl who carries condoms on her.
    I think there's a difference between hacing a condom in your night stand and having a condom in your purse, or worse yet back pocket...

  14. #14
    rugbyking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mart651
    Me too. I have been with a few girls in my life and the ones who carried condoms were always freaky. not that i minded but not realy marriage material.

    that is so true. i saw this one girl for awhile and she always had condoms for me to use. she was prolly the biggest freak i ever layed.

  15. #15
    co2boi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rugbyking
    that is so true. i saw this one girl for awhile and she always had condoms for me to use. she was prolly the biggest freak i ever layed.

    I knew you would be commenting on this. Bout time your brought your ass to work boy

  16. #16
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    Bermich, you should be taking the condom off to spray her in the mug anyways. What was the question? Sluts are great, at least they were before I got married.


    -B

  17. #17
    rugbyking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by co2boi
    I knew you would be commenting on this. Bout time your brought your ass to work boy
    LOL once in awhile i do actually have work to do.

  18. #18
    co2boi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rugbyking
    LOL once in awhile i do actually have work to do.
    Nonsense. That's just propaganda put out by the government to conform us. Bastards.

    But anyway, seeing a girl pull out a no-name condom is better than poppin your willie in her and hittin a diaphram with spooge on it

  19. #19
    rugbyking's Avatar
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    you could always just do it in the ass. no way to get pregnant there. if you are worried about stds you could just have her blow you. sometimes im to lazy to put in effort so i opt for that instead. or you could always just jack off on her face. that is fun too!!!!

  20. #20
    OSTIE's Avatar
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    If I do not really know the girl, I will NEVER use any condoms that she carries. Who the fck knows how many small holes some of these crazy girls poked in the condom before seducing some random guy to put it on.

    -ost

  21. #21
    The Baron's Avatar
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    Why all the "condomnation" of women who have the foresight and consideration to keep a rubber handy? I would RATHER know that she uses them than wonder about it. I guess everybody's different. I had a GF (note the past tense) who found a used one in the trash at my crib. No sense of humor at all. You would think she would be glad that I was protecting myself and her as well by wrapping Mr Wiggles, but NOOOOOOoooooooo....

    I try to have a fresh one on hand. Well, in pocket I mean. Chicks who don't mind them, often don't mind putting it on for you. Actually some of them think it's fun, and hey, it's always a good thing to have a chick handling your dingus. When the woman puts it on, it is sort of like foreplay. When you put it on yourself, all that fumbling around sometimes destroys the mood. She's waiting waiting waiting, and you are all flustered and hyper-busy and frustrated, burdened with condom-application-performance anxiety, made even worse if you start to go soft under the pressure which makes it even harder to roll it on unless it is one of those extra large ego-condoms.

    Flavored ones are cool cause you can usually get the girl to roll it down on your whizzer with her mouth. First time I ever saw that was with a hooker behind a dumpster off Rush Street in Chicago at 4:30 in the morning in the summer of 1982. I was impressed. It went into her mouth naked, came out clothed. Too kewl! I have since talked a couple of chicks into giving it a try.

    I would always rather use one that I bought than one a chick bought or acquired in whatever manner. I buy from places with a high turnover like walmart, popular brands only, and only carry one around for a few days. If it goes unused it gets trashed. You don't want to expose it to body heat indefinitely. A chick will sometimes grab a handful of generic rubbers from the bowl at a singles bar or women's center or wherever and you know the **** things were probably made in India by leprous outcast refugees from even poorer countries, sun-dried and the packages sealed over a water bufalo-dung fire. Then carried by camel caravan through the sahara and shipped to the US on an illegal immigrant ship after a 60 day crossing through hurricanes and gales rolling aroung in the bilges, then stolen and distributed by a small-time mafia wannabe after occupying a non-climate controlled warehouse since Jimmy Hoffa's last public appearance cause that's where they stashed him and then the poor condoms sat in the freebie bowl for 9 years until finally someone forgot to fill it and the ones from the bottom of the bowl finally see the light of day. And that is probably a best-case scenario. Seems like 1 out of maybe 4 chick supplied condoms I have known in my life BROKE. I have only had one break that I bought myself, and it was one of those superthin ones.

  22. #22
    bermich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Baron
    Why all the "condomnation" of women who have the foresight and consideration to keep a rubber handy? I would RATHER know that she uses them than wonder about it. I guess everybody's different. I had a GF (note the past tense) who found a used one in the trash at my crib. No sense of humor at all. You would think she would be glad that I was protecting myself and her as well by wrapping Mr Wiggles, but NOOOOOOoooooooo....

    I try to have a fresh one on hand. Well, in pocket I mean. Chicks who don't mind them, often don't mind putting it on for you. Actually some of them think it's fun, and hey, it's always a good thing to have a chick handling your dingus. When the woman puts it on, it is sort of like foreplay. When you put it on yourself, all that fumbling around sometimes destroys the mood. She's waiting waiting waiting, and you are all flustered and hyper-busy and frustrated, burdened with condom-application-performance anxiety, made even worse if you start to go soft under the pressure which makes it even harder to roll it on unless it is one of those extra large ego-condoms.

    Flavored ones are cool cause you can usually get the girl to roll it down on your whizzer with her mouth. First time I ever saw that was with a hooker behind a dumpster off Rush Street in Chicago at 4:30 in the morning in the summer of 1982. I was impressed. It went into her mouth naked, came out clothed. Too kewl! I have since talked a couple of chicks into giving it a try.

    I would always rather use one that I bought than one a chick bought or acquired in whatever manner. I buy from places with a high turnover like walmart, popular brands only, and only carry one around for a few days. If it goes unused it gets trashed. You don't want to expose it to body heat indefinitely. A chick will sometimes grab a handful of generic rubbers from the bowl at a singles bar or women's center or wherever and you know the **** things were probably made in India by leprous outcast refugees from even poorer countries, sun-dried and the packages sealed over a water bufalo-dung fire. Then carried by camel caravan through the sahara and shipped to the US on an illegal immigrant ship after a 60 day crossing through hurricanes and gales rolling aroung in the bilges, then stolen and distributed by a small-time mafia wannabe after occupying a non-climate controlled warehouse since Jimmy Hoffa's last public appearance cause that's where they stashed him and then the poor condoms sat in the freebie bowl for 9 years until finally someone forgot to fill it and the ones from the bottom of the bowl finally see the light of day. And that is probably a best-case scenario. Seems like 1 out of maybe 4 chick supplied condoms I have known in my life BROKE. I have only had one break that I bought myself, and it was one of those superthin ones.

    Im glad someone puts more thought into it than I do.

    "Condom application performance anxiety" Hmmmm

  23. #23
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    honestly if a girl handed me a condom b4 sex..

    in all honesty i would think to myself, "now you are gonna get a priosn style **** session courtesy of the p-a-r-t-y!!!!" i would lay into that chick like a prison guard in the ladie's sector

  24. #24
    symatech's Avatar
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    i think all condom packages should clearly mark which end is the top. It could just be a big dot or something, anything to let you know after its out of the package which end to put on.

  25. #25
    Pale Horse's Avatar
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    Man you single guys sure bitch a lot! I wish I had this to complain about!

    I speak for all married men quit your bitchin!!!!!!!

  26. #26
    rugbyking's Avatar
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    all you have to do is stick your finger in it and unroll it a little bit. youll know right away which end is which. wtf is the big deal?

  27. #27
    bermich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rugbyking
    all you have to do is stick your finger in it and unroll it a little bit. youll know right away which end is which. wtf is the big deal?

    My finger is usually somewhere else....

  28. #28
    Pale Horse's Avatar
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    Talking

    In your nose?

  29. #29
    Pale Horse's Avatar
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    Sorry, by the way I know the answer to this question is someone will say please!

  30. #30
    PrairieDawg's Avatar
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    Is it that hard to carry a condom in your wallet? works for me. girls seem to never have condoms, yet they carry ****ing purses with everything else in them!!!

  31. #31
    abstrack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    i'm skeptical of any girl who carries condoms on her.
    ditto! i had a ex who always had condoms on her( phucking bitch!) I use to say wtf? do have these for when we never use one? I am glad that rollercoaster ride is over!

  32. #32
    Phillyboy1's Avatar
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    yep i have condoms on me if i think that sh-ts gonna happen

  33. #33
    DADDYDBOL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dally
    What The Hell Are Condoms?

    i was wondering the same thing....


    berm....just let her put it on as she straddles your face....

  34. #34
    Jack87's Avatar
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    They're those crappy latex things that make god's greatest
    creation Pussy feel like I'm banging my BFGoodrich's and
    incase you're wondering ****ing a tire doesn't feel good...

    Quote Originally Posted by Dally
    What The Hell Are Condoms?

  35. #35
    Jack87's Avatar
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    Yep, but as one rides ends another ones just begins...

    Quote Originally Posted by abstrack
    ditto! i had a ex who always had condoms on her( phucking bitch!) I use to say wtf? do have these for when we never use one? I am glad that rollercoaster ride is over!
    Last edited by Jack87; 08-12-2004 at 12:01 AM.

  36. #36
    bermich's Avatar
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    What about those girls whom you go over to hoping for sex and you bring a condom in your pocket. She finds out you have a condom when you just went over to watch a movie. She starts to wonder why you really went over to her house. Were you just hoping to get laid or something?? Why did you bring a condom mister??

    But then, if you dont bring a condom and things lead to the bedroom, you have to stop during the handjob and go to your car. By then, she is out of the mood and it is time for you to go home....

  37. #37
    Jack87's Avatar
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    Honesty is the best policy... Tell her you intend to watch the movie and
    then give her some real entertainment... Women like it when you take
    control and shoot straight and if she doesn't like it then find one that does...

    Quote Originally Posted by bermich
    What about those girls whom you go over to hoping for sex and you bring a condom in your pocket. She finds out you have a condom when you just went over to watch a movie. She starts to wonder why you really went over to her house. Were you just hoping to get laid or something?? Why did you bring a condom mister??

  38. #38
    co2boi's Avatar
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    Or if your gf's name is Paris, tell her you called and asked if she wanted to "make a movie", not "Watch a movie"...she must have misheard you, now get naked biatch

  39. #39
    decadbal's Avatar
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    who wears condoms?

  40. #40
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    berm i love ya......................

    get your own **** condoms.....

    ya cheap bastard
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