Thread: It's official.. been dumped.
12-19-2003, 01:11 PM #1
It's official.. been dumped.
I feel horrible right now. Not because i've been dumped.. but because i know that i hurt my girlfriend. When we first met, i lied to her about my grades so that she would think that i'm smarter than i am. I told her that i was deans list.. when in actuality, i'm a B- student. We started dating, and i was afraid to tell her the truth because i figured that she would dump me for lying to he in the first place.. but eventually i couldn't keep it a secret anymore.. i didn't want to lie to her anymore.. so last night i told her.. and she's called things off.
I've basically defined myself for the past year and a half through the feelings that i've had for and from her. Without her i don't feel complete.. i dont' even feel like a person. I feel empty and without purpose. i didn't eat anything today, and i've only been out of bed for spells to use the bathroom and plead with her online and on the phone to take me back. I've emailed.. left messages.. tried to explain.. and she somewhat understands, and forgives me.. but can't trust me.
I hate myself. I've basically ruined the only good thing i've ever had in my entire life, all because i was insecure and dishonest. I don't know what to do.. and the only thing keeping me going right now is the slim chance that someday i might win her back.
12-19-2003, 01:18 PM #2
if she dumped you for lying about something as stupid as grades... you'll find someone better.
12-19-2003, 01:21 PM #3Originally Posted by bdtr
12-19-2003, 01:23 PM #4Originally Posted by bdtr
12-19-2003, 01:23 PM #5
and i know i sound like a little girl here, but she was and is my entire world. She is the only person in my life, including family, that i've ever been sure, completely sure, that she loved me. Also, the only person that i've ever loved.
12-19-2003, 01:23 PM #6
trust me, there's always someone better
12-19-2003, 01:25 PM #7
If that's how she shows her love I'd hate to see how she treats people she despises. Move on. There're plenty more out there.
12-19-2003, 01:26 PM #8
If i lied to my girlfriend for 100 years, as long as it wasn't something serious and detrimental to our relationship and she found out... she would be angry, but certainly not break up wtih me.
12-19-2003, 01:30 PM #9Originally Posted by bdtr
12-19-2003, 01:32 PM #10LORDBLiTZ GuestOriginally Posted by chrisAdams
Yes, you do. Snap out of it bro. LORD slaps chris like a little bitch and yells...You're a man **** it, a man!
12-19-2003, 01:41 PM #11
Cheer up bro.....2004 is a gonna be a great year for change
12-19-2003, 01:46 PM #12
No its not that, its that my girlfriend loves me enough to overlook certain things. You'll find someone else.
Originally Posted by chrisAdams
12-19-2003, 02:04 PM #13Originally Posted by bdtr
12-19-2003, 02:07 PM #14
Bro please! Listen to the rest of the fella's. If she tripped hard like that over a fib like your grades even if it stretched over a year. That girl is whacked. C'mon brother go get another one.
"Nothing makes you forget more about the last hill you just got over than the one you'll be sitting on next".
12-19-2003, 02:28 PM #15
Well bro, both sides are petty IMO, no offense intended at all, but I would have been myself and not lied about my grades to pull a girl, and likewise for her to break up with you and call grades a major trust issue is just ridiculous.
12-19-2003, 02:33 PM #16
Her leaving you for that is rediculous...I have been married for almost 20 years and and lied worse than that many times. This just sounds like you need to move along and find someone who will not smack you like a dog if you make a mistake. That was not love she was showing you, specially since you came clean and were being honest. What she is showing you is control. Control over your manhood. If you beg for her back she will OWN you for as long as you are with her. NEVER beg a woman back bro..just move on and find a nice submissive girl.
12-19-2003, 02:47 PM #17Registered User
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Bummer deal dude nothing is more painful then a broken heart... worst feeling I have ever had in my whole life...no amount of physical pain can even come close to comparing to the anguish caused by a lost love... only time can mend the hurt...but don't be down about what you did...you lied for fear of losing her love and when you came clean thats what happened...looks to me like it was a no win situation...but you'll tough it out and move on...right now you feel like **** and that is understandable...give it time bro...give it time.
12-19-2003, 03:00 PM #18
She did not leave you because you lied, that is just an excuse. IMO the reason women break up with men 'that are liars' is not because they lied per say, but it's what they lied about. If you lied about money or status, which you did as a B- student ain't exactly law school material, you are ****ed. Unless she is one of the rare ones who does't care about money or status. I share the example of one of my closest friends, we'll call him Edward:
Edward is a fun loving, charming guy who likes to party a bit but still has a good head on his shoulders. He has a normal house in a normal neighboorhood and drives a new Ford truck. He tells women that he is a student, which was true for a time, but he tells them his is going to med school, which will never and has never been true. Now it is inevitable that these women find out that they are not dating a doctor to be and often a temporary breakup ensues when she finds dear Ed is not, nor will ever be, a doctor. These women ALWAYS come crawling back to him when they find out (he won't tell them, and its not totally obvious) that his family has tens of millions of dollars............how many working class boys do you think could get away with lying about being a doctor or a med student?
It's about the $$$ I tell you.
12-19-2003, 03:01 PM #19Originally Posted by Gilster
12-19-2003, 03:12 PM #20
Relationships are constant work and acceptance of the other persons short comings. Nothing wrong with a B student. So you lied about it, not like you didn't tell her somthing vital. I couldn't imagine living with someone or being in a relationship that would not work through something that minor. There are many major problems that come up in life. What if you married her and in 5 years you came home from work and told her you got fired,? Would she be out the door? Hopefully she will come around. Good luck and if she doesn't come around try to enjoy the single life for atleast a little while.
12-19-2003, 03:13 PM #21
If she broke up because of your grades she was looking for a reason to do it.
12-19-2003, 03:21 PM #22
bdtr beat me to the punch...
Bro if your girl of the last 1 1/2 years dumped you for that **** then she ain't worth it!!!
It doesnt't matter how much you care for her or love her, that is Bull****...
It's not as if you are some dumb ass...
**** a B average is pretty **** good...
Plus if she was only with you because she though you were on the Dean's List then she is pretty **** shallow bro...
I once had a shallow ass chick like that too and she was far more trouble then she was worth...
**** I almost as pissed off as you should be!!!!
Now I'm just salty as ****!!!!
You should somehow get back with her and then bang her in the ass then dump her for not being smart enough to know what you were doing!!!!
Originally Posted by bdtr
12-19-2003, 03:34 PM #23Originally Posted by scottninpo
Truer words were never spoken.
Do your grieving, and the sun will shine again, fortune will bring and a more suitable companion together.
Next time, though, it may be best to be honest about the little stuff as well as the big stuff. After all, if your relationship depends on stretching truths and hiding bits of information, chances are you'd be best off with another girl who won't leave you, even when she knows the truth about ya.
That's pretty much the sorta girl you want anyway, one that will take you, warts and all, just the way you are. You get one that wants to change you, you're in trouble.
Regardless, you have my consolations on your loss . . . but I'm certain that things will be better next time . . .
12-19-2003, 04:09 PM #24
I will PM you on this chris... im viewing this a little different than eveyone else.
12-19-2003, 04:12 PM #25
You have a lot to experience.
It is better for you to NOW be forced to find OTHER things in your life to experience rather than putting EVERYTHING into one person. The longer that type of reality persisted would have made it harder for you to get over it.
If she was the only person you ever really knew then that is very UNHEALTHY. Stop living in a shell.
Basically, she was gonna dump you anyway and you just presented her with a reason to do it with no guilt on her part.
If she broke up with you for one lie then she did not truelly love you. She might have been comfortable with you but there was NO LOVE
Id tell you to get over it and find a new one but you will stalk her and make her music cds with your favorite songs dedicated to her and you will send her flowers and letters. She might see you once or twice out of pitty or boredom or routine but thats about it.
I have no more advice cause you wont follow it.
12-19-2003, 04:16 PM #26Originally Posted by D3m3nt3d
Sorry to hear about this bro but there are better women out there for you.
12-19-2003, 04:23 PM #27
Bro cheer up ! I know it must be diffuclr right now.
Some Girls take lieing serious for some weird reason know matter how little it may be or how big. It is about being Honest. You have two choices (1) go try make things up with her if u really like her. (20 move on to another Girl.
12-19-2003, 04:24 PM #28
(2) move on to another "start dating"
12-19-2003, 04:30 PM #29
if you thought you had to lie to her about your grades in the first place....then something wasnt right......i mean she should except you for who you are ......whether its a staight A student or a high school dropout...whatever........
i mean personally, the grade thing wouldn't bother me.....there's soo many worst things out there to lie about.....i mean if someone lied about having a kid, or being married, or living a totally differnet lifestyle......serious stuff........the grade thing isnt at all that bad.......shes probably just upset that you lied to her for so long but still.......i dont know, maybe i've just been though alot and seen alot that if all my boyfriend did was lie to me about his grades, i'd be happy as hell
12-19-2003, 04:34 PM #30
Awww... Man sorry to hear that... Depending on how ur relationship was with her will determine how things will end up... I know exactly what you mean, when you are lied to, or by witholding truth from especially ur g/f is just a ****ty scenario... It may be a white lie about your gpa, but of course, the fact that she was lied to the whole relationship is what is going to stick with her... Thats pretty ****ty... I'd say if your whole relationship was based on grades, then that was phony to begin with... If she loves you for who you are, and not ur grades you guys will get back together... If you made her special, and if she believes in forgivness... Then i'd say it would work, but I wouldn't beat urself up....
The last advice i'd give to you is run back to her, let things take their course, keep urself occupied... Find someone else... But don't beg her to stay with you, I'd say that would be the wrong thing to do... The thing that is going to win her back is her seeing you happy with someone else, and her being with some bozo, comparing her good times with you to some other guy...
She'll know what she's lost when she doesn't hear from you anymore...
12-19-2003, 04:54 PM #31
sorry to hear that bro...i think it was also something else, not just the grade thing....but now you are back in the hunt, that's where it's at
your at college too? ass fest 2004......
12-19-2003, 05:44 PM #32Originally Posted by chrisAdams
Sorry bro! It wasnt love if she just dumped you over some petty **** like grades
12-19-2003, 05:48 PM #33
I agree with carlos, buff, bermich... she was looking for a reason to break it off with you and you handed one for her on a silver platter. Because if she truly broke up with you for that reason alone, then that would make her terribly immature
12-19-2003, 06:52 PM #34Originally Posted by Polska
12-19-2003, 07:12 PM #35
That has to be the most stupidest thing ive ever heard... She sounds like a real bitch. THats like saying you met a girl and told her that you made 200k a year when your really only make 120k so she dumps u a year later...
12-19-2003, 09:26 PM #36New Member
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- Nov 2003
Bro, first, you are making her arguments for her and believing them yourself.
You know you treated her well and the reason she is giving you is crap, women know there are a certain amount of white lies told by men at first. I am proud that you stuck to your guns that long. It was harmless! if it wasn't you would have told her! Second, you are a lucky man right now, all it costs is pride not half the paycheck or not getting to see your kids. Third, you are in college you should be manwhoring anyway.
Go to a bar
buy a cute girl a few drinks
tell her exactly what you told us here
don't underestimate the power of sympathy
12-19-2003, 09:39 PM #37Originally Posted by ivanko45
Sorry you had to go thru this but it is part of life. Just don't beg bro.
12-19-2003, 09:53 PM #38
Gilster's post are dead on. Bro, Lying about grades is NOTHING! All you would have to do is tell her the truth. You never came clean because you cared for her very much and you thought you were going to loose her. Any normal girl would look you in the eyes and say "I will love you no matter what your grades are" B-? Bro, thats shows me your very smart. There has to be something else.
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