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  1. 06-21-2004, 08:59 PM #1
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    Jack87
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    Talking Is this what it's like to be married?

    Got this off another board, but I just had to share it with you whores


    This was written by a friend.....................................

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
    it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
    enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
    to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
    not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
    with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
    big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
    on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
    one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
    to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
    outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
    of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
    bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
    her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
    all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    "WHAT??!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
    while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
    for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
    you?"

    Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
    over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt.
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  2. 06-21-2004, 09:00 PM #2
    SwoleCat
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    Saw that @ my board a few days ago...........funny stuff!

    ~SC~
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  3. 06-21-2004, 09:06 PM #3
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    Jack87
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    Story reminded me of my ex so much...

    Buying gifts equaled all the pussy I could handle

    But that **** gets old quick cus if i gotta pay for

    pussy then i want to sample more then just one...
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  4. 06-21-2004, 09:08 PM #4
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    Lol!!!!!
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  5. 06-21-2004, 10:31 PM #5
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    Why cant women stop watching Lifetime and reality TV? Every d@mn one wants a prince charming perfect guy, but they cant have em cuz no one will every be perfect. Why cant chicks just settle for us oversized dudes so all the future kids will be huge too?
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  6. 06-21-2004, 10:47 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by NIU ROTC
    Why cant women stop watching Lifetime and reality TV? Every d@mn one wants a prince charming perfect guy, but they cant have em cuz no one will every be perfect. Why cant chicks just settle for us oversized dudes so all the future kids will be huge too?
    That's how my ex-wife was..... she was so dumb she thought our life should be like it was in the movies ....... and that is why she is my ex-wife now.
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  7. 06-21-2004, 10:51 PM #7
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    fuk marriage
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  8. 06-21-2004, 10:55 PM #8
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    haha hilarious read... i loved the "No honey... i dont feel like it" hahaha
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  9. 06-21-2004, 10:56 PM #9
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    Funny, funny but true, funny sad but true....
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  10. 06-22-2004, 09:47 AM #10
    Slick Arrado
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    Funny.
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  11. 06-22-2004, 09:48 AM #11
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    aint they all just a bunch of cun**
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  12. 06-22-2004, 09:52 AM #12
    Cycleon
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    THAT is classic!
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  13. 06-22-2004, 10:28 AM #13
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    diddnt even see the end comming!
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  14. 06-22-2004, 10:51 AM #14
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    Diddo my Brotha.

    Quote Originally Posted by buff87
    Story reminded me of my ex so much...

    Buying gifts equaled all the pussy I could handle

    But that **** gets old quick cus if i gotta pay for

    pussy then i want to sample more then just one...
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  15. 06-22-2004, 10:55 AM #15
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    that is some funny asss ****
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  16. 06-22-2004, 11:00 AM #16
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    that was some funny **** lol
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  17. 06-22-2004, 05:21 PM #17
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    haaaa haaa haaaa- serves the biatch right!!
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  18. 06-22-2004, 06:34 PM #18
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    lololol....i literally laughed out loud when i read that. I admire that guys intelligence. As i was reading it i thought he was buying all that to get some that night. But i perfer that comical ending!!
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  19. 06-22-2004, 07:16 PM #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMudMan
    That's how my ex-wife was..... she was so dumb she thought our life should be like it was in the movies ....... and that is why she is my ex-wife now.
    dude............. i didn't know we married sisters.............. my ex was like that too.......

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  20. 06-22-2004, 08:52 PM #20
    sepjuice
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    thats awesome bro,..funny sh it.
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  21. 06-22-2004, 09:29 PM #21
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    Id love to be able to jab a sex withholding girl like that.
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  22. 06-23-2004, 02:21 AM #22
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    hillarious
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  23. 06-24-2004, 10:50 PM #23
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    I'd kill just to be in line watching her approaching the counter and him telling her that.. that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time
    Mod @ IronBodyBuilding.com
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  24. 06-24-2004, 10:51 PM #24
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    apparently being married sucks....well at least that is what other guys wives are telling me......you know the story!!
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  25. 06-25-2004, 04:38 AM #25
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    Funny stuff. I will have to copy that story and give it to my wife.....lol
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  26. 06-25-2004, 08:11 AM #26
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    LOLOLOL!!!!!!!! good stuff!
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