Ultimate social anxiety test

[hung-solo]

Bro there are other ways to fix yourself without meds or drugs. The social phobia you have or your self worth is all wrapped up in your beliefs and your language. A shrink will milk you for years to fix this, I am not syaing shrinks dont have their place but not on social phobias. Think about so you and your shrink find out what your really scared of why and when it started and this will fix the problem, I think not. Did you know that the anxiety your feeling is phsylogically the same as the feeling you get when your a kid waiting for santa. Its the same just your mind has decided to label it scared or fear. When you think to yourself about this party, truly what is your "fear' about? What do you think that if you dont get 1 of those girls you failed? Do you fee that those girls have the power to make every vagina in the world snap closed to you? Stop being so negative, I understand your just starting to feel your way around this stuff but you certainly dont need to take the rejection of the slut you banged a week ago and call it a failure.. What you need to do is learn how to change your beliefs, not false confidence or any other temporary thing. When you look into the past you were who you were then this in turn made the events transpire the way they did and hasnt any effect on the you of today. For instance were you born walking? Of course not, but when you were 6 or 9 months old did you look to the past and say I cant walk because I never did obviously not. Thats why if you were unsuccessful in the past or whatever is nagging you in the back of your headf is meaningless bs, that is not searving you well, so change the channel. Dont be yourself learn to be who you need to be for the situation, this is the best advice I can give you.. Oh and have fun and not focus on sh*t that doesnt matter

nicely put- another thing i was thinking about that worked for my friend was to throw yourself in situations you dont like.. go up to strangers and just talk and b.s. with them.. go to the **** party you big dork and just be yourself, people will accept someone who is REAL and not fake.. so be yourself hell we like you and i have never seen you before so there you go.

[Quake]

Just for the record, I don't agree with cpt Steele.

And no offence to cpt steele, but read your last post back and tell me you don't sound like a shrink yourself. Why should Johan listen to your advice over the advice of a shrink when you both present it in the same fashion?

[cpt steele]

Because you can fix your own demons like phobias and little anxiety tendoncies. Trust me about this because I was him I was the kid that was scared of everything I was the kid in hs school who hadnt any friends or girls etc, and I learned how to change it on my own by your own self talk and your own beliefs and labels. Its not a pissing contest but in your not phsyco or a sociopath than now you just got some bugs to work out and this how to do it and do it quickly without drugs a shrink and a box of hankies. A shrink will not use nlp to help a shrink helps you organize your thoughts find out whats triggering them and talk about them to get the concious mind to recognize them as just mere thoughts. Well why not just change the label of the thoughts and feelings and move on or is better to take someone put them on drugs for 5 or tens yrs? I will be back with some info for you all to read to help you understand wht I am saying

[cpt steele]

Here is an article that is some of what I was talking about.


By Monika Nygaard,
Published in Alderlea Magazine October/98

NLP counseling believes strongly that you get what you focus on. Whether it's a relationship problem or you're looking for life coaching, business coaching or personal coaching, NLP believes there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states.



Many people resist change because they feel too ashamed of their issues to face them and deal with them, and even if they have the desire to, they may feel helpless and hopeless in finding any way of adequately resolving them. So some people may try escaping or avoiding their issues; meanwhile the problem doesn’t go away and the it quite often grows larger or snowballs.

These very outlooks are the biggest barriers to making any changes. There is the story of a man who could no longer drive his car to work because parking rates had gone up and his car was becoming unreliable. His easiest solution on his limited income was to take the bus to work. However, he had a tremendous fear, almost a phobia, that he would end up sitting next to some crude punk. So, he felt very uneasy and only went on the bus because he had no other choice.

Fortunately, he lived at the outskirts of the city, so there were few people on the bus and he could pick where he wanted to sit. He thought to himself, “God, please don’t let some crude punk sit next to me.” As the bus slowly filled up with people, his anxiety grew and he kept saying to himself, “Please, God, don’t let some crude punk sit next to me.” Finally there were only a few empty seats left, and into the bus came a very large man dressed in black leather with chains on his coat and arms, tattoos, purple spiked hair, and a very menacing look on his face. Again, our passenger thought to himself desperately, “Please God, don’t let this crude punk sit next to me!”

To his horror, the punk sat down next to him. Our passenger turned to the punk and asked in a pleading tone, “Why don’t you sit in that other seat over there? Why did you sit next to me?” The punk just looked at him and grinned and said, “God told me to sit here.”

This is a good example of a self fulfilling prophecy. Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Because the unconscious mind does not hear negatives, our passenger was unwittingly creating this negative image repetitively. It would probably have been more helpful to not ask for what he didn’t want, and instead ask for what he wanted, such as “I wish someone peaceful and quiet would sit next to me.”

One of the first steps out of a negative state is to focus on what you do want (not what you don’t want). One of the main principles of NLP counselling is there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states. All people need is new information or different strategies to assist them in making the change.

Change is always possible. In this there is no failure, only feedback and learning. People are always doing the best they can with the inner resources they have available. Hindsight may be 20/20, but during an event people respond in the best way they can. If it doesn’t go the way they want it to, it just means there are new things to learn. We don’t have to look at this as failure, we can see it as learning, so that we can respond more appropriately in the future. In learning any new skill, one usually starts off awkwardly. A child must first learn to walk before he can run.

Equally important is knowing that people are NOT their behaviour. People HAVE behaviours. Just because you “screw up” doesn’t mean you ARE a “screw up”. We can change that.

After all, what is a good experience and what is a bad experience? How do you define it? Everyone will define it differently. What is good for some is bad for others. That we learn and what we learn are what the true value of the experience is. So, in reflecting back after an event, it is important that we choose our reflective lenses carefully. True happiness lies not in having what you want, but in wanting what you have and learning and growing from life’s lessons. Happiness is an inside job. Monika Nygaard is a Certified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer, Time Line Therapy® Master Trainer and Hypnotherapy Trainer.

[fitnessNY]

You could give paxil or zoloft a try -- i hear it works quite well for SA.

[w_rballs]

i agree and back cptsteele on this one 100%. listen to steele bro, he aint bull****ting with what he is saying. he has great advice. its helped me before. he is the jedi pimp

[cpt steele]

i agree and back cptsteele on this one 100%. listen to steele bro, he aint bull****ting with what he is saying. he has great advice. its helped me before. he is the jedi pimp

Thanks bro



Are you afraid? You wiiill be

[jbigdog69]

Cpt Steele...is correct. We underestimate the mind. So..instead of the alternative we seek...medication....wrong....medication IMO....is where people get lost and end up in mental wards. When you look at it....mind over matter....be strong Johan.

[Todd Scott]

have you been diagnosed with social phobia, or is that your own diagnosis?
PM me

[tonytone]

Cpt Steele...is correct. We underestimate the mind. So..instead of the alternative we seek...medication....wrong....medication IMO....is where people get lost and end up in mental wards. When you look at it....mind over matter....be strong Johan.

Agreed. "Yes the body is weak, but the mind is strong, and it controls the body...You are not a slave"-Bane

[Kärnfysikern]

Thanks for the advices especialy to you cpt steele. I can maby beat the phobia on my own but I still have issues I need to go to a therapist to handle so Il better get a appointment anyway.

Im trying nowdays to put me into positions where I have to face my anxiety and it helps little by little.

You asked what my fear is concering that party.

My fear isnt that I wont get one of the girls or anything like that. My fear is simply that my phobia will win and Il just end upp unsocial and mega nervous and hating the whole situation. That is my fear. Every time my phobia wins over me in a situation I get very down and depressed cause I dont tolerate failure in anyway. Something Im gonna have to learn to deal with. I cant win over it everytime. But how do I handle the times I get defeated by it

[partyboynyc]

my friend was the same way if not worse.i have changed him to new levels.i'm a great motivator for the socially "scared". pussy wipes all fear away my friend

[Kärnfysikern]

my friend was the same way if not worse.i have changed him to new levels.i'm a great motivator for the socially "scared". pussy wipes all fear away my friend

Sounds good if Im ever in the states Il remeber to contact you

How exactly did that transformation of him take place??

pussy is a great motivation yes

[partyboynyc]

Sounds good if Im ever in the states Il remeber to contact you

How exactly did that transformation of him take place??

pussy is a great motivation yes

i changed his dress, his ttitude by just drilling postives in his head, all "doing the work" at first meaning bring girls to him. i sparked the conversations, let him take over, when he slips i interjected to keepit going. i let him feed off of me since i'm very social and talkative. he's got a great body so i dressed him upwith more style...now he has 90% of the game won on looks.now from there it's all about what comes out of your mouth. a girl knows in the first 3o seconds if she would **** you or not mainly on appearance.you just can't **** it up with your mouth.say some stupid, goodbye. keep it flirtacious but not too sexual and almost a bit "standoffish" and your good.
my saying is treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.neither are used to be treated that way so your attitude toward them throws them off balance.a hot girl will think, "why is this guy not all over me like every other guy?" that starts the wheels turning now make it a chase.girls want us to chase them.if you have the total package make them chase you. i just learned at an early age to play role reversal on them. works liek a charm.

[elicotton]

Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.

Corny maybe, but true.

[Kärnfysikern]

i changed his dress, his ttitude by just drilling postives in his head, all "doing the work" at first meaning bring girls to him. i sparked the conversations, let him take over, when he slips i interjected to keepit going. i let him feed off of me since i'm very social and talkative. he's got a great body so i dressed him upwith more style...now he has 90% of the game won on looks.now from there it's all about what comes out of your mouth. a girl knows in the first 3o seconds if she would **** you or not mainly on appearance.you just can't **** it up with your mouth.say some stupid, goodbye. keep it flirtacious but not too sexual and almost a bit "standoffish" and your good.
my saying is treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.neither are used to be treated that way so your attitude toward them throws them off balance.a hot girl will think, "why is this guy not all over me like every other guy?" that starts the wheels turning now make it a chase.girls want us to chase them.if you have the total package make them chase you. i just learned at an early age to play role reversal on them. works liek a charm.

thats a solid bro to invest that much time and patience into a good buddy!!

Hum ok so if a girl knows that within 30 seconds. How does she signal it incase she wants to get poked??

[hung-solo]

i changed his dress, his ttitude by just drilling postives in his head, all "doing the work" at first meaning bring girls to him. i sparked the conversations, let him take over, when he slips i interjected to keepit going. i let him feed off of me since i'm very social and talkative. he's got a great body so i dressed him upwith more style...now he has 90% of the game won on looks.now from there it's all about what comes out of your mouth. a girl knows in the first 3o seconds if she would **** you or not mainly on appearance.you just can't **** it up with your mouth.say some stupid, goodbye. keep it flirtacious but not too sexual and almost a bit "standoffish" and your good.
my saying is treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.neither are used to be treated that way so your attitude toward them throws them off balance.a hot girl will think, "why is this guy not all over me like every other guy?" that starts the wheels turning now make it a chase.girls want us to chase them.if you have the total package make them chase you. i just learned at an early age to play role reversal on them. works liek a charm.

great minds think alike! i couldnt put that better myself and yes it works most of the time johan, my boy uses this method and has been with the 2 runner ups for miss south carolina( where he lives), in one weekend.. fukkin crazy

[partyboynyc]

great minds think alike! i couldnt put that better myself and yes it works most of the time johan, my boy uses this method and has been with the 2 runner ups for miss south carolina( where he lives), in one weekend.. fukkin crazy

they like to pretend likethey have the upperhand and they can if you let them. human nature is human nature.
it's all in the eyes and their proximity to you during conversation.just watch all eye contact, closeness to you during conversation, and watch their hands.do their hands come forward in conversation.do their hand gestures coincide with a smile?if so you're in. i have ,and i am not even joking,spent years disecting women.they will deny all this ****, but it's all true in allcases.

[AnabolicAlien]

women, the other white meat...

A.A.