the stupid joke thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

**Tock** · 02-20-2005, 11:03 AM

There once was a maid from Hatch
Who doted on music by Bach
She'd fondle her pussy
To tunes by Debussy
But to ragtime, she'd just scratch her snatch.

---

There once was a maid from Abristwyth (an actual town in England)
Who took a pail to the mill to get grist with
But the miller's son Jack
Threw her flat on her back
And connected the organs they pissed with.

-Tock

**irish bulldog** · 02-20-2005, 12:05 PM

crazy bastards

**Odin** · 02-20-2005, 12:29 PM

Two Norweigans meet on the beach, one name Ole and another named Sven, Ole is hanging out with 4 hot blondes, so Sven brushes him aside for a second and askes him, "What's the trick for getting all the hot woman". Ole repley's just put a potato in your pants! Well 2 days later they meet and Sven say's "Your trick didn't work!" Ole say's No Sh*t, you put the potato on the wrong side.

**seanw** · 02-20-2005, 04:22 PM

Man arrives at a fancy dress party with nothing on but a potatoe on his dick.
He went as a Dicktater

Man arrives at a fancy dress party with nothing on but silver paper on his balls.
He went as a Fany Dress Ball

**PaRiS2005** · 02-21-2005, 11:59 AM

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch. The bartender asks, "why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" Pirate says, "arrrghhh, its drivin me nuts!!"

**irish bulldog** · 02-21-2005, 12:32 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch. The bartender asks, "why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" Pirate says, "arrrghhh, its drivin me nuts!!"

is that you in your avatar?or some other sexy bitch?

**3Vandoo** · 02-21-2005, 12:55 PM

What funnier than a dead baby?

a dead baby with a clown's nose!

**Jantzen4k** · 02-21-2005, 01:10 PM

I had a dream last night i was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted!

**PaRiS2005** · 02-21-2005, 01:29 PM

That would be me bulldog..

**PaRiS2005** · 02-21-2005, 07:17 PM

And thats not a joke...

**xfade7** · 02-21-2005, 09:23 PM

two goons walk into a bar, one goon dies..
being a goon is a high risk lifestyle.

xfade7

**spywizard** · 02-21-2005, 09:34 PM

A 23 yr old pretty girl who happens to be a quadriplegic, is sitting on the beach early in the morning, a young man is jogging by when he notices that she is weeping very loudly..

He goes over, and asks if she is ok..

she respondes "I'm 23 yrs old and i've never been hugged".. they guy looks around, seeing no one, he picks her up and gives her a hug, he then continues his jog..

next day..

same thing, as the guy is jogging along.. there she is crying, and wailing, he goes over to her, and she says..

"im 23 yrs old, and i've never been kissed.. He rolls his eyes, looks around to make sure no one can see him, being alone, he picks her up and gives her a kiss..

next day...

same thing, as the guy is jogging along.. there she is crying, and wailing, he goes over to her, and she says..

he yells at her... "now what".. she says... "i'm 23 yrs old and i've never been screwed..

He picked her up threw her into the ocean, and yelled.. "Now your screwed"

**xfade7** · 02-21-2005, 09:36 PM

^^^^^ lmao spywizard

xfade7

**seanw** · 02-22-2005, 08:52 AM

An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man.
"You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I
noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies.
I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love
all night, all over the house.
We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position
imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard....was she
pretty??"

"Dunno...Never found the head!"

**Red Ketchup** · 02-22-2005, 09:08 AM

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch...

Red

**IronFreakX** · 02-22-2005, 09:11 AM

liked the one bout the muffins

**OneMoreSet** · 02-22-2005, 09:14 AM

have you heard the joke about the vacume?

......... it sucks........

OMS

**jbol** · 02-22-2005, 01:23 PM

A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him.
> He takes off his shirt and the woman says, "What a great chest you have."
> The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite."
> He takes off his pants and the woman says, "What massive calves you
have."
> The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite."
> He then removes his underwear and the woman goes running and screaming
> out of the apartment.
> The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
> He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment.
> The woman replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I
> saw how short the fuse was."

**Juggernaut** · 02-22-2005, 02:38 PM

A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"

**Juggernaut** · 02-22-2005, 02:39 PM

Blind man walks into a bar and starts slinging his see&eye dog around over his head. Bar keep says "hey mister, can I help you?"

"No" said the blind man "Just taking a look around".

**Juggernaut** · 02-22-2005, 02:45 PM

A piece,of string walks into a bar, climbs up on a stool and orders a scotch on the rocks. The bar keep looks at him and says I'll have to ask you to leave, we don't serve your kind here. The dejected string climbs back down the stool and into the street.

He stops a passerby and asks the man if he had a pocket knife and if he knew how to make a pretzel. The man nods yes so the string then asks him to tie him into a pretzel, cut off his ends and mess them up...the man does so.

The string walks back into the bar, climbs up on the stoll and orders a double scotch on the rocks. The bar keep looks at him sideways and says "Hey, aren't you that same piece of string I just tossed out of here.......the string says......................no........

I'm a frayed knot! hahahahahahahaha

**irish bulldog** · 02-22-2005, 02:46 PM

paris

im not to good on this joke thread will have some tomorrow,i keep forgoting them doh

**Hometown Hero** · 02-22-2005, 05:00 PM

If I have a rooster, and you have a donkey, then your donkey eats the feet off my rooster what do we have?

~Hometown~ = Two feet of my cock in your ass