Advice for Northerners moving to the South:

**spywizard** · 03-13-2005, 09:53 AM

Advice for Northerners moving to the South:

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it shortly.

Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

REMEMBER: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

The first Southern _expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'", as in "big ol' truck", or "big ol' boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd.

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense

**BUBBA74** · 03-13-2005, 10:46 AM

Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

I think this assumption was made observing Northeners driving in the South.

If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense

DANM STRAIGHT!

**fitnessguy** · 03-13-2005, 10:51 AM

LOL...very true too

**farrebarre** · 03-13-2005, 10:51 AM

**stayinstacked** · 03-13-2005, 10:54 AM

yep, it's very hard to get used to things in SC being from NY. The hardest thing to get used to is the pace of life down here. They are alot more layed back and like to take thier sweet time doing everything. It's nice to enjoy life and take things slow once in awhile, but if your going someplace to eat get there about an hour before your actually hungry, and when your getting your change handed back to you expect an extra 5 minute wait, because the cashier is usually on the cell phone talking at the same time.

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 11:13 AM

I love living in the south!! Yee-haw!!

**decadbal** · 03-13-2005, 11:35 AM

best advice for nothern ppl moving south....dont... stay up there where your liked and wanted...

bc we sure as phuck dont want you down here

**BodyMechanic** · 03-13-2005, 11:41 AM

well i live in the south and i don't find it like this in any places i go, so i don't understand how you could believe that most southerners are like this.

**chicamahomico** · 03-13-2005, 12:31 PM

I always liked going too the zoo when I was a child. Watching all of the stinky, greazy animals that habitate there amused me greatly. So I figure I will definitely visit the deep dark south USA someday just to see if people there are actually as goofy in real life as they are on television. Heehaw.

**BUBBA74** · 03-13-2005, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

best advice for nothern ppl moving south....dont... stay up there where your liked and wanted...

bc we sure as phuck dont want you down here

Thanks for saying what I had in my heart

.

**xfade7** · 03-13-2005, 12:56 PM

ah, you hicks!

**bad_dre** · 03-13-2005, 01:26 PM

I got another one for you. After moving to tn from northern in. I started a job at the end of the day 3-4 people at would say i'm going to "the house". My interpretation was they were all roommates at some party house. I was wrong every one at the end of the day goes to (the house).

**BodyMechanic** · 03-13-2005, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by chicamahomico

I always liked going too the zoo when I was a child. Watching all of the stinky, greazy animals that habitate there amused me greatly. So I figure I will definitely visit the deep dark south USA someday just to see if people there are actually as goofy in real life as they are on television. Heehaw.

Don't believe everything you see on TV.

**Jantzen4k** · 03-13-2005, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

best advice for nothern ppl moving south....dont... stay up there where your liked and wanted...

bc we sure as phuck dont want you down here

**BUBBA74** · 03-13-2005, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by chicamahomico

I always liked going too the zoo when I was a child. Watching all of the stinky, greazy animals that habitate there amused me greatly. So I figure I will definitely visit the deep dark south USA someday just to see if people there are actually as goofy in real life as they are on television. Heehaw.

Chicamahomico:

What you are looking for is some Hillbillies they are a rare endangered breed which inhabit the mountainous regions of the Southern United States. They can also be found in some parts of Alabama

.

Swellin · 03-13-2005, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by BUBBA74

Chicamahomico:

What you are looking for is some Hillbillies they are a rare endangered breed which inhabit the mountainous regions of the Southern United States. They can also be found in some parts of Alabama

.

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!

Said hillbillies don't take kindly to strangers. It's best just to leave them be...or you might never be heard from again.

So do as Deca said.

**BDTR** · 03-13-2005, 05:52 PM

I'd love to move to the south some day, but I just dont fit in when im there. I get strange looks etc..

CutieFace · 03-13-2005, 09:00 PM

My sis is looking to move south...I have to send that to her...

Cutie

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:37 PM

I like Canada

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 10:45 PM

The south is fun...we got the best asses you'll ever see...

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:46 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

The south is fun...we got the best asses you'll ever see...

I like asses too

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 10:47 PM

Who doesn't?!

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

Who doesn't?!

Beats me....haha......If i was going south i would wanna go to brazil and find some fine dime brizzles, as snoop dogg so eloqouently puts it

brazilan girls and latin girls and mexicans and black girls and indian girls and puerto rican girls and white girls........i could go on forever

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 10:50 PM

I don't like Snoop dogg...

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:52 PM

hes a cool guy. Paris whos in ur avatar? Cameron Diaz?

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 10:52 PM

lol ME!!!!!!! I get that all the time on here.

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

lol ME!!!!!!! I get that all the time on here.

wow ur really pretty

you look just like her

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 10:55 PM

Haha, thank you.

I get that I look like her all the time. I personally don't see it...

**maxmuscle187** · 03-13-2005, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

Haha, thank you.

I get that I look like her all the time. I personally don't see it...

The hair, and then the cheekbones, lips.......lets just say that ur.............****NNNNNN

pm me a bodyshot

**PaRiS2005** · 03-13-2005, 11:00 PM

What was the last part **** nnnn?

**maxmuscle187** · 03-14-2005, 12:52 AM

Originally Posted by PaRiS2005

What was the last part **** nnnn?

D A M N

**chicamahomico** · 03-14-2005, 03:36 AM

Yes that is what I am looking for. I seen only Northern Trailer Trash so I am not yet familiar with the southern variety of the species. I have heard that they are somewhat greazier and smellier than their Northern counterparts possibly due to the hot, humid climate. But this is purely conjecture. Also, Miami and Key Isalands do not count as Southern IMO.

Originally Posted by BUBBA74

Chicamahomico:

What you are looking for is some Hillbillies they are a rare endangered breed which inhabit the mountainous regions of the Southern United States. They can also be found in some parts of Alabama

.

**hung-solo** · 03-14-2005, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

best advice for nothern ppl moving south....dont... stay up there where your liked and wanted...

bc we sure as phuck dont want you down here

HAHAHA

thats right guys. and if you do move down here and dont like it, we also have trains, planes, and automobiles for your ass to move back!

**hung-solo** · 03-14-2005, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by bdtr

I'd love to move to the south some day, but I just dont fit in when im there. I get strange looks etc..

you would fit in just fine down here. just dont venture out in the country by yourself. they may mistake you for a bear! an ugly one at that.

**BUBBA74** · 03-14-2005, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by chicamahomico

Also, Miami and Key Isalands do not count as Southern IMO.

Yeah thats Northern Cuba

**hung-solo** · 03-14-2005, 06:40 AM

Originally Posted by BUBBA74

Yeah thats Northern Cuba

or yankee paradise. depends on how you look at it.

**Slick Arrado** · 03-14-2005, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by chicamahomico

Yes that is what I am looking for. I seen only Northern Trailer Trash so I am not yet familiar with the southern variety of the species. I have heard that they are somewhat greazier and smellier than their Northern counterparts possibly due to the hot, humid climate. But this is purely conjecture. Also, Miami and Key Isalands do not count as Southern IMO.

There are trailers in the north? :spudniklu

**BUBBA74** · 03-14-2005, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by hung-solo

or yankee paradise. depends on how you look at it.

Yeah those d*mn Snow Birds that never seem to fly back up north!

**hung-solo** · 03-14-2005, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by BUBBA74

Yeah those d*mn Snow Birds that never seem to fly back up north!

yeah if the south were to seceed again, we would ask nicely for the north to take miami. they can have it!

Spyder · 03-14-2005, 10:19 AM

i dont get it ... why would we wanna move down? aside from the weather, theres nothing else .......... well, all the florida beaches, hot women, ......ok forget it, i take it back.

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