Rassis the bodybuilder, the legend , our story!!

[Carlos_E]

I dont get any of this

Me neither.

[TheSickOne]

[Reprisal 6]

OK so its obvious this is purely a joke now. But I'm sorry I just dont find it the least bit funny. Its just a retarded story that has no real point to it, every sentence is just non-stop swearing.

-Bino

This is a joke??
Dang it!

[juicy_brucy]

when I finished reading that story, i got goosebumps...

[juicy_brucy]

but... you lost me on the second post.

[Dave321]

my overies hurt.

[Nismo]

Man u guys are retarded. this is good reading, especially when that dude made Stack make his breakfast!!!!! Then he pumped him all the way to the gym!!! This is good shit. Keep'em comming stack!!

[steve0]

does rassis have a sister ??

[Smak]

Stack = comedian

lol

I like it!

[stayinstacked]

I managed to scrounge up some change for a taxi today, I was beat and Rassis was too. So the cab pulls up around 5:40am and Rassis and I load our packed lunches and gym bags in the trunk. The guy was kind of rough with my bag and Rassis rose up and said "easy wit' da' mans bag mutta****a, we got some GLASS BOTTLES N' SIT'!!!!" Fortunately the ampules of omnadren and suspension bottles went unharmed. It would have been his ass if they were, it's some killer water based suspension that slides through my slin pins and its painless. The cab driver pulled up to the bike rack outside of "Gym Rats"(read above post) and the mexican driver says to us "Why u get dropped off at a bicycle rack esseh?" Why dont you mind your own god damn bid'ness esseh!!! said Rassis. The big man got out of the cab, as he got out the side of the cab it rose up as if there was some sort of hydrolics on Rassis's side of the taxi. I tipped the driver a joint and he was off. What we didnt realize was there were city workers half a block away doing some sewer work. We tried to open the manhole cover to the gym, but there was a note on it that said "Closed, check back tomorrow" You see these guys that run Gym Rats gym keep a tight ship, they cant take chances when there are workers nearby, so now we had to find another gym. So we hoofed it to a different Golds gym closeby. I paid some homeless man to make believe he was having a heart attack on the front sidewalk, and as the employees ran outside to help I snuck Rassis in past the front desk. The homeless guy then got up and spit in the workers face yelling "Leave me the **** alone, you p...pu....pussies!!! hahaha, I slipped him a twenty and told him to make it good. So Rassis and I go into the bathroom and snort a couple lines up really quick, we were exhausted from Saturdays lift and quite frankly an energy drink wasnt enough. Hey, you gotta do whatever it takes to get the job done sometimes right? So after Rassis's 10 minute pep talk in the locker room(which btw had a crowd of kids sitting on the floor indian style as if they were ****in' hobits listening to one of Gandolphs wizard stories) we were ready to lift. Leg day today,AHHHHH FUN!!! We started w/ squats, loaded up the bar w/ 405 for warm ups. Banged it out like nothing, then started our first work set w/ 585. Rassis went for 12 reps, I knew it wasnt going to be pretty. It was actually going really well until his 7th rep. "UGGGGHHHHH, ****.......UGGGGGGHHHHH...PUSH DIS' LIKE.....DICK...IN BITCH..AZZ, PUSH DIS.....ARGGGHHH!!!LIKE DICK UP BITCH ASS....PUSH IT.....LIKE....DICK IN BITCH AZZ....ARGGGGHHHHH, CLING..DSH DHS DSH DUSH" as the bar then became racked as it rattled the squat cage like a tremor. I knew this wasnt good, Rassis meant well, but under extreme circumstanes and weight, he had trouble controlling himself. A crowd of women just let out of a pilates class and I knew it was a bad sign when I overheard some of them talking about Rassis. "Cindy, he almost looks like that guy on Fox News they're looking for, remember?" and then "look at his pants, how rude, you can see his cucumber right through them"........."I hope they sanitize this stuff good, look at him, he probably has Aids or something" definitely not good. Anyways, I started of w/ my set, didnt get 12 like my boy, but I got 6. I try my best as always. Started to struggle on the 5th rep, Rassis came in to spot me, freaked me the **** out, I was afraid he would brush against me too close w/ his schlong hanging visibily through those nuthugger sweats. "Push da' shit.......Uggghhh!!! huff huff..."Own da' shit!!!" huff huff huff huff........huff huff....... Be da' shit!!!!" CLING, DUSH DUSH DUSH DUSH, as the bar was reracked again. We did a couple more sets w/ the same weight, and then Rassis told me "Go fetch a nigga a few mo' fotie fives boy" So we load the bar up to make it 800, 800 solid ass pounds!! Rassis not only took his shirt off for this set, he ripped it off like the incredible hulk!!!! "Rassis, I dont wanna get kicked out dude, chill" SHUT DA' FUK UP AND GIT IN FOR DA' SPOT STACKED, U TINK' I CARE BOUT A MUTTA****A' TAKIN' OFFENSE TO ME!!! 100% GRADE "A" NIGGA BEEF!!!! And as he got under the bar he screamed one last time before the descent w/ the 800 lbs......."KING KONG, AINT GOT SHIT ON ME!!!!" Arggghhhhhh, Argggghhhhhh, Arggggghhhhhh, "three, come on Rassis", Argggghhhhhh, Arggggghhhhhhhh, Argggghhhhhh, cling cling, dush dush dush, again as the cage rattled like it was hit by a ****ing truck. I knew we were done by now, the entire gym had stopped their training and was looking, even the ones on the treadmills who had headphones in their ears were standing still looking. Anyways, nothing yet, so we go and bang out some calves and leg extensions non chalantly. And then, it happened. Swat team stormed in through the roof telling everybody to get down and had their aim directly on Rassis. Apparently, that bitch had called Rassis in and told the police she saw the escape con from the nearby prison in Golds gym. They told Rassis to get on the ground with his hands behind his head, obviously it didnt work. "Let me git' my sets nigga', I aint do nutt'n to you!!" He calmly worked a set of calve raises as the guns pointed towards him. They said it again..."Get down, with your hands behind your head!!!" Rassis then did the un-thinkable. He picked up my gym bag next to the machine and in front of everybody shot up 10 redijects of suspension, and as they slowly backed away knowing what kind of monster they were about to endeavor, Rassis pulled out my zip lock of powder and snorted it all up right there, snorted so much it was all over his face and mouth. They told him again "This is your last chance, down with your hands behind your head" Rassis screamed out" U wanna go to war, mutha****az, we take you to war!!" He quickly grabbed 2 1/2 and 5 lb plates and began throwing them like fastballs at Swat team members, splitting heads on contact. They maced Rassis, their attempts had failed, he rinsed it off really quick w/ his gym bottle and began his assault. Grabbing an Olympic bar he began using it as a Bo Staff and quickly taking out officer after officer. Knocking guns out of their hands before they could get steady fire on him. Bullets wizzed by busting mirrors all to hell trying to tag him. One almost got him, but he held up a plate and it ricochet and hit the Captain of the force in the dick. The place had quickly become a bloody mess. One guy had aim right on my mans head, but I knocked the gun from him just as he was about to fire at Rassis. I knew we were outnumbered, we needed help bad. I jumped the counter to turn the XM radio to the song "Knuck if he Buck" and Rassis then became a walking weapon. Even hit one guy in the head with his schlong and knocked him out cold. I knew it was all over, we'd have to move into Gym Rats after this to keep from being taken into custody, if we ever made it out alive. And then, all of a sudden a huge smoke screen had filled the entire gym up. Somebody had grabbed my arm and said "Lets go, I'm here to get you guys out!!" I looked up and it was the mexican cab driver from earlier that day. "I want to be like you guys essay, all my life I been picked on homes, I want to be big, show me the way." We jumped into his cab parked out front and he peeled off screeching tires as Rassis feat still hung out the window(He dove in head first). Anyways, all 3 of us are here now, I took the Mexican guy in and tomorrow we are starting him on a program.


Sorry fore the long post fellas, alot of shit went down today

[Smak]

^ fuk i wanna read right now, but i'm really tired so i'll read and post tommorow, lol, g'nite stizacked.

[Nismo]

great fvcken story!!!!! let usknow what happens at the next workout!!!!

[tranzit]

i actualy know this guy, heres a real picture of him.

[notanormalgent]

I jumped the counter to turn the XM radio to the song "Knuck if he Buck" and Rassis then became a walking weapon.

omg...HAHAHAHAHA....I was on the ground laughing when I read this part, for some reason I just visualize this guy so well.

[Nismo]

Nah the best part is when he knocked over the desk clerk with his "Shlong" oh man. I'm gonna tell this story to my kids!!!

[stayinstacked]

Well, as you guys know by now, I've decided to take an illegal mexican immigrant taxi cab driver in. He'll be staying with me for awhile at least until we can get him on his feet, but its the least I can do since he helped us get out of the gunfire and mayhem yesterday at Golds b/ of Rassis. And Rassis, shit I dont know where he lives still. So as we got home yesterday I immediately closed the curtains, shut off the phones , and lokced the doors. The mexican guy didnt speak too clear of English, we could tell what he was saying or meant but it was very unclear at times. I asked him his name and it was some really weird long one that was hard to pronounce or remember so we just call him BJ, it stands for border jumper. So BJ ,Rassis and I sat on my couch watching the News as it showed earlier footage of Rassis and his gym assault going down. It was pretty funny because you could hear that rap song "Knuck if he buck" over much of the gunfire and screaming, and you could see Rassis running around w/ that 45 lb bar bow staff taking people out and even a couple who were thrown through the remaining front window glass of the gym. Then the place just filled w/ smoke and out of the corner of the screen you could see the taxi cab w/ Timberland boots hanging out the side window screeching away. "Police are describing the cab as the bodybuilders get away vehicle, driven by this man pictured here(BJ's photo on screen) who had just started working for Quick Cab a week ago" Then they began interviewing people who were witnesses. They first interviewed an old gentleman about 70 years old who saw it go down while he was on his treadmill."Well, we all knew something was emotionally wrong with the feller when he first walked in there. He thought he was..........thought he was....some kind of damn incredible hulk or something" then the next old woman spoke into the microphone,"I kind of felt bad for the two gentlemen, especially the bigger one in the nuthugger pants. You could tell they didnt have much, and the gym was what they enjoyed. The boys were a little loud, but it didnt have to come to this" and then a 3rd man was interviewed as an eye witness,"I immediately knew something was wrong with those guys, they were in the bathroom stall doing something funny, like injecting dangerous drugs in their veins or sniffing something. After the....th...black gentleman started lifting I immediately ran into the day care center there and grabbed my kids so we could leave. By the time I got out of the room all I saw was this big,huge...almost like....Baboon like creature swinging a weight bar and throwing plates, blood, guns drawn on him, yelling and screaming. We tried to get away out the front door as fast as we could, my kids in my arms crying, but I fell from a blow to the back of my head here..... with a weight plate the guy had thrown."(the guy then takes the towel off the back of his head to examine how much blood was on it from his head injury) "Well there you have it folks, fitness or brutality? I'm Dick Ryder, Fox News at 5. I immediately shut the TV off pissed. Ok guys, here is the deal, from now on we can only lift in another city or down at Gym Rats, IF ANY OF US GET SEEN, WE'RE DONE!!! "No weights amigos Que paco taco blah blah blah" said BJ. NO, NOBODY IS EATING TACOS OUT IN PUBLIC OR LIFTING WEIGHTS PERIOD BJ, EVEN YOU!! And your taxi needs to be disquised before we can go out anyplace. I put a wig on I had from last Halloween and ran to the hardware store for spraypaint for BJ's cab. I decided the best disquise for us would be hippies, so I picked up all sorts of fruitful colors that we could paint the old cab with. So we spent all last night spraying the old 70's model cab a light blue color w/ flowers and peace signs painted all over it. "I aint wanna be seen ridin' in dis' pecka' wood hippy bullshit car Stacked" said Rassis. "Rassis, before today we didnt even have wheels, and not only that, you cant be seen riding anywhere, you want go to jail and blow this whole training thing we got going!!" He looked at the ground dumbfounded and then like a gentle giant said "Yeah boss, I guess you right" this was actually the first time Rassis stood down to me and agreed on something, he was actually lightening up a little bit now that he saw we were freinds and all. Maybe there was a gentle giant side to him after all. So the painted cab dried overnight, Rassis and BJ slept in the living room, and we woke up late this morning, like 9:00a instead of 4:45a. Rassis had cuts and bruises on his hands and arms, and flesh wound to his abdomen from where a bullet grazed him in the battle. We spent the entire day trying to Americanize BJ. I had a chalk board and we made it almost like pictionary. We drew pictures of tits, weight plates, spelled out important english words essential to his vocabulary like ****, shit, and damn, pizza, dollar, cents, protien powder, etc etc. He actually caught on quicker than we thought. We didnt work out today, we thought it'd be a good day to lay low and rest a bit and try to get BJ used to some of our ways and language if he was going to be part of the crew. I went out and got groceries while Rassis and BJ watched some of my porn stash. We all sat down tonight and ate some lasagnia w/ garlic bread and wild rice at the dinner table like a family. After all, this was family now. We all needed each other and we needed to feed off of each others drive to get big. All in all, prett layed back day, tomorrow will be different though. I'm gonna see if Gym Rats is opened back up, and we'll lift there if it is. Also, I'm going to sit down and talk to BJ about a business proposition involving his taxi making runs to Mexico for some gear. After all, he is Mexican, and he doesnt look like a bodybuilder, so it'll be an awesome way for us all to make a good living.


Anyways guys, bed time, I'll let you know how it goes down tomorrow

[Nismo]

Your slippen bro. Hope tomorrow brings something better man. You should ask the Mexican guy if he has family in LA and to get some old school vato gang bangers to help you guys out.

[stayinstacked]

Your slippen bro. Hope tomorrow brings something better man. You should ask the Mexican guy if he has family in LA and to get some old school vato gang bangers to help you guys out.

I'm tired tonight bro, killed my chest today, just ate my last meal and its off to bed, I know i said that like an hour ago hahhah. I just threw this in there to keep the story going, it'll get good man, I have some great ideas in my sick ****ing head for this, peace

[Nismo]

I'm tired tonight bro, killed my chest today, just ate my last meal and its off to bed, I know i said that like an hour ago hahhah. I just threw this in there to keep the story going, it'll get good man, I have some great ideas in my sick ****ing head for this, peace

[Tedbear981]

So far so good, keep em coming

[stayinstacked]

Well I'll be damned, Rassis came back today. It'd been a long time since I saw him, he was arrested on an assault charge at the local custard stand, and he'd been away for a little while. Apparently the assault took place over a dispute he had w/ the owner, the owner was cheating him out of custard by only giving him 13oz instead of 16oz of custard, and Rassis went apeshit, beat the guy pretty bad. So anyways, I hear a knock on my door this morning at 4:00a, and it was Rassis standing in the pouring rain. "Let me in bitch, it's cold out here" he said. So we spent a good while this morning catching up, drank some coffee and watched Ronnie Coleman videos while eating eggs. We then got our gym clothes on and hit the pavement for our jog there. We couldnt go to Golds gym because of the scene that took place there a few months ago(read above stories) and Gym Rats was still closed because of a leaky gas line near the sewer, so we had to go to this other place, a health spa called "A Better You". Rassis wanted to bring my boombox and I told him they probably wouldnt allow it. "Shut the **** up, I bring it anyways, maybe they let us Stacked." I knew it wouldnt be good, Rassis hates these places. But they had a hot tub there usually full of the teenage girls soccer team in the mornings, so I knew this might lift his spirits. Anyways, we get to the gym around 7:00a and arrogantly walked right past the zit faced pecker head counter jocky. "Excuse me please, hey you two. Do you fella's have your membership cards today?" I went to talk and Rassis immediately interupted."No mutta****a' we dont, I am personal freinds wit' da owna' and he say it ok. Keep pushing the issue and i have yo' ass fired!" The kid quickly glanced down and in a shameful voice told us he was sorry and to carry on. So we started with Incline dumbbell presses. I did my warm up set of 110's and Rassis used 140's. It was all going good until the radio came on with some light 97 morning show. "Shit, I cant work out to this ****ing bullshit!!!" Rassis shouted. Old people immediately began staring at us as they overheard Rassis and his profanity. He set up the boombox as if he owned the health spa and handed me the extension cord. "Go find me a plug nigga' " I went and plugged it in knowing that this wasnt a good idea. Then, against the quiet and light hearted Prince song that was playing at the gym, on came some loud as hell Three Six Mafia. That song "knock the black off yo' ass was playing. Rassis pulled off his shirt and his pecs were just bulging. He slowly tied on his bandana backwards Tu Pac style and was ready for his next set. Lets get it on he said, and I handed him a pair of 160's. As he did his set he shouted out lyrics to the song, "I knock da' black off yo' ass, I knock the black off yo' ass bitch!!!! ARRRGGHHHH, push dis shit nigga' you gosta push dis shit!!!" At this point all the old people were turned away, the treadmills stopped running, and the owner was over by the desk talking to zit boy. "Oh shit" I thought to myself. The owner looked like a business man in a suit and tie, clearly somebody who wouldnt be freinds with a nigga' like Rassis. He walked over and asked us to leave."Look here bro, you a bidness man right? Rassis said. Why yes sir, I just happen to be, the man said. Well I gots a proposition fo' you. Let us work out da' way we wants to, and we'll commit to this gym for a few years, dat cool nigga? The man agreed, and just told us to turn the music down if we didnt mind. "Yeah I do mind mutt' ****a, now dont blow dis' deal, I gots a deposit out in my ride to give you afta' this lift." The man slowly walked away with his head down, shamefully bowing down to Rassis out of desperation for membership sales. So anyways, we continue our lift which went quite well, then decided to check out the hot tub. Now this is where shit got really bad. The girls soccer team was in fact in the hot tub, and Rassis hadnt seen a chick in 2 or 3 months because of his jail time. Well he was sporting this boner out of his white hanes underwear that appeared to be 2 foot long. He got in the tub and as the girls all looked at him he just smiled w/ his half knocked out, half gold teeth, and said "sup bitches!!" The girls all acted as if they wanted to get out and Rassis quickly grabbed the first one to get out by the seat of her swimsuit and said"not so fast hunnie, stay awhile and make yo'self comfy" The terrified 17 year old looking girl slowly sat back down in the tub shivering with fear. Rassis then pulled a small bag of weed out of his ass and started rolling a blunt. The girls then seemed to become a little more freindly. He then lit the blunt up right there in the hot tub and the entire soccer team started getting high. So we passed it around for a few,stinking up the pool room, and Rassis then said "Well, it time fo' a surprise. He pulled out his 2 ft Alabama black snake and high as hell grabbed a girl by the hair and said "Now smoke sumfin' bitch" pointing to his schlong. The girls began screaming terrified of what Rassis had just shown them. They scrambled out of the hot tub and ran towards the counter. Then in came the owner. "What in the ****, it smells like marijuana in here!! I got a team full of girls saying that you just sexually harassed them, you people come in my gym screaming and grunting, blasting your boombox with this nigger bullshit, now get out!!!!" The guy had clearly lossed all sense of who he had just thrown a racial slur at. Rassis quickly jumped out of the jacuzzi, blunt in his mouth and dick hanging out, and began assaulting the man. He threw a fast blow to the gentleman's head, and then began kicking him around in the ribs. The guy started yelling "Somebody call the police, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE!!" The girls soccer team looked on through the steamed glass windows and I knew they were calling them as one had her cell phone out in hand. Rassis continued beating the man."Who da' **** you callin' nigga' bitch? Who da' **** you callin' nigga!!!!? I knock da' black off yo' ass, I knock da' black off yo ass!!" Rassis then threw a small runner dumbbell he found through the steamy windows the girls looked through shouting "Say sumfin' bitch, say sumfin' bitch!!!" The man lay motionless on the tile next to the pool, and we ran out of there. As we were running past the counter Rassis shouted "hold up, lets git us some protien shakes!!" Naked as a Jay bird he jumped the counter and pushed the zit faced kid down, "we gettin protien shakes!! What? Say sumfin' bitch!! WHAT!!! The kid lay there with his arms over his head crying. "Whatchho want Stacked? Ultramet good whichoo? "Yes, just make the God damn thing and lets get out bro!! I said. "You want glutamine in yours Stacked? "I dont care, hurry the **** up and lets go!!" So we ran out of the front door, I in my swimtrunks and Rassis butt naked with his 2 foot dick swinging around as we ran down the street in a sprint drinking our shakes at the same time. Took a shortcut through some woods home, and we've been chilling all day. Rassis is covered in poison ivy, so we're on the way to the store to get some Caladryl. I'll get back with ya's, peace

[Timm1704]

the victorian guy was way better. fair play to you for sitting down and writing all this though, i just dont find myself entertained by it lol

[stayinstacked]

the victorian guy was way better. fair play to you for sitting down and writing all this though, i just dont find myself entertained by it lol

Thats aright bro, I'm sure it will brighten somebody's day though

[firmechicano831]

I think all this sounds to good to be true. Are u trying to sell us a book or something but its a good story.

[SwoleCat]

What in the hell did you drink/smoke/inhale/absorb/inject/swallow to actually sit down and write all that out?



~SC~

[Wrath]

Rassis then pulled a small bag of weed out of his ass and started rolling a blunt.

there are too many fuuny lines to quote!

That song Ridin Spinnaz came on, and Rassis went ape shit. The part of the song that goes"I put the petal to the metal and ERRRRGHHH, well every rep Rassis yelled out the ERRRRGGGHHH part with an angry retarded face. Suitable for man like himself, he posessed retard strength.

i am cryin over here!!!!

[ManWhore]

Keep em coming!

[~fuelforfire~]

This is rediculous, your white and using the n word like its **** all, man you need to shut the **** up.

[Hard Head]

the victorian guy was way better. fair play to you for sitting down and writing all this though, i just dont find myself entertained by it lol

Ears some fookin test for ya, guvnah....

[THE_DOME]

man i love this shit, i am going to forward this to all my bros

[RuhlFreak55]

this shit is sweet......i have no idea how i missed this before

[slob]

What in the hell did you drink/smoke/inhale/absorb/inject/swallow to actually sit down and write all that out?

my thoughts exactly ^_^

[hardgainer12]

This is rediculous, your white and using the n word like its **** all, man you need to shut the **** up.

weve got an internet tough guy

[SVTMuscle*]

you got one hell of an imagination, and i love it haha

[Mogamedogz]

What happened to this story?? It seems chopped up between parts three and four... And why did you stop writing!? This shit is funny as hell!!!!

[stee]

I dont get any of this

Im back to back with you on this one US

[mwolffey]

i love this story

[Liftnainez]

Im back to back with you on this one US

yea.. is the point for motivation, dedication.. i dont get it..

[BajanBastard]

It's funny; get a sense of humor.

[*Narkissos*]

It's funny; get a sense of humor.

ditto.. bump