The worst "funny" story you have ever heard

[Luminaire]

by far this one:
25 Ways You Can Tell You're Getting Old...

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1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
one.

[Red Ketchup]

What do you call 2 chess players sitting in the lobby of a hotel and bragging?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...

Red

[Red Ketchup]

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

[Red Ketchup]

What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously?




A receding hareline.

Red

[Red Ketchup]

An oyster is a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions!

Red

[Kärnfysikern]

keep em coming red