Just made of those decisions thats so hard....

[Ih8urdsm]

Just had to make one of those decisions thats so hard to make that you put it off and find ways around it. I just kicked my girlfriend of over 2 1/2 years out, after living together for more than a year. I actually have before, but its always kinda been in haste and not serious enough that she leaves for more than 1 night, just normal fights i guess, but its become real serious now.

Bare with me as i try to give some of the explanation....

She did cheat on me with a guy she knew before me early in our relationship, which i know should have been sign one into the type of person she really is...but she was genuinly sorry, and begged forgiveness, and im the type of person that can forgive...If i was put in a certain cituation there are times i would have given-in in the beginning...

Then i moved to Atlanta from NY, so we could start our own lives, its so much more affordable here to live, it was the best choice for us to live together..but it was a big sacrafice for me, as well as her (we both do have family here though)..i came here first and got a job and settled and everything, then she came down about 3 months later.

One night out drinking with some friends, some girl/girl talk gets going and she spills out that she has hooked up with 2 girls. I do know she finds them attractive and has had sex with one before i met her...but we have talked very openly, and i never heard of 2 girls!!! Turns out the second one was recently while i was in GA, and she was in NY! But she says she 'was drunk and doesnt even remember' blah blah....
So that caused issues for a while, and i havent really trusted her since.

.....continued in next post...

[USfighterFC]

I cant wait to hear the rest of this....you got me hooked....and btw get rid of her for good.

[C_Bino]

I cant wait to hear the rest of this....you got me hooked....and btw get rid of her for good.

Same here...DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

[Booz]

hey dont leave it hangin or we will have to ban your ass.....................

[Temptation]

It sounds like she doesn't respect you -- and you deserve that.

Kick her to the curb, let her know what she lost out on.

[chest6]

waiting..I have to go back to work soon cmonn

[Carlos_E]

She cheated. Doesn't matter if it's a woman or man. She gotta go.

*Kick dat hoe to da curb!*

[NOREGRETS]

Just let it go and never turn back. You can't have a relationship with someone who is not trust worthy.

[Ih8urdsm]

So we are starting to settle in in Atlanta, and she posts her shit on myspace, and starts meeting 'friends'...they are all girls mind you, which i dont mind, cause i knew she was bi when i met her, but she wanted to be with me, and has only ever dated men. She does put that she 'is in a relationship', but i see that she is going out with them all the time, and having basically a 'myspace' life, to oppose her 'reallife life'....

then i start reading some of the newer comments and everyone is like hitting on her like crazy ( i mean she is a hot girl)...But then i would go to some of those other peoples pages and she would write some comments as well, so i confronted her, became another issue, eventually she said she needed to have her own life as well as a relationship, and i should understand that. "Its just myspace" she would say...guess i gave in again...

But then she sets it to private so i cant see it...

So now to the real sh it....I know she's talking to a certain girl a lot more..and going in the other room, so obviously i know she is starting to like this girl or something but of course she lies "she's just a friend"...

But she does say she's not sure if she is gay or not..and does need to find out for 'us' if she is or not, so wants some space to find out...but defintily still messing with my head because acting like a girlfriend to me, and denying that she has feelings for any girl, jsut attraction.

So then one night she goes out, doesnt come home...doesnt come home the whole next day (she never does that, she atleast calls me)...she told me she was going to 'lori's' house (not the girl she likes)...So i Instant Message Lori from her account, because im GENUINLY worried about what happened, she likes to drive after drinking and likes to go out a lot, and i know there are crazy people out there ...Of course Lori, doesnt even know i exist, because my girl has no evidence on her entire page that she has a boyfriend, and has made it private for me to view, and tells me that she's not at her house, she's at the other girls house...so i Telll Lori who i am, and she's like "WOW!!", and like "hold on, im on the phone with [the girl my girl likes], and is like "whats your number im gonna have her call you...

So now this girl calls me...she does know i existed...But she says my girl has been swearing to her that we arent together, and this girl wouldnt have messed with her, if she didnt say that, and says my girl has been telling her she wants to be with her in a relationship!...and they have been dating on and off for 7 months!!!!!..so of course im like "uh, well we've been going out and that hasnt stopped...we have sex, we just went away for our 2 year anniversary , she even wears a bracelet with my name on it (i know its gay), and a tiffany bracelet with our 'date), and i ask her about that, she says she noticed the bracelets, but didnt even know we went away for our 2 year, or spent christmas with each others family!!!

And then of course, when she comes home, she's mad at me, screaming that i contacted her friend online! Im like "you just got ****ing cought and trying to put this on me!"...

But then i still let her stay here!!! we were in a space period though, but she still denied she has any feelings for this girl, and they arent together.

Then saturday we have sex. Then she goes out (to this girls house of course), then im online and lori just happens to IM me, and we get to chatting, and I asked her if i should tell this girl that we had sex, because she thinks My girl is with her...and she says yes tell her...and says oh, check out this girls myspace page...and its all about her and my girl being together, and my girl leaving comments like that shit!

So i text the girl that i think she should know we had sex saturday before going to her house(LOL), so of course now she and my girl get in some fight, and my girl sends a text message about that she's going to slit her wrist and crap (she has done it twice and been in a 'hospital' for it...)
But she came home, and i was like , "this is it for real" (plus i found that she wrote in her little date book that she did have sex with the girl last week, and tells this girl she loves her)

But im thinking straighter than ever before and i really cant be put through this misery i have been letting myself be put through for so f'n long. I know im going to be bashed and told i am stupid for letting it go on, but i do love this girl, and im sure i have some issues...i always said they were because of my dad leaving my mom, and makes me not want to leave a girl, and always give it, especially when i see them so sad or having problems

I know i gave in so many times because it was girls, and not guys..but i guess either way is just wrong, and i shouldnt have to give my everything to someone who's not giving it back.

Then last night, when im asking for some answers she says "when i left the other day to go out, i was thinking that i wanted to be with you, but then you did this!"...this night she went to that girls house and hooked up with her.

****ing liar man holy shit...

[Ih8urdsm]

And i am 3 weeks into a cycle, and hoping this doesnt hit me as depression and hurt me at all...I mean right now i feel really great, and liberated ya know....I mean im not an ugly guy or poor or anything lol, i mean im a trainer (i know that doesnt mean you are hot lol), good looking and have a good job, degree, family everything like that, but i guess i feel like i got so trapped in this whole thing its affected my life so much...

Im going into more, hold on , im eating at the same time....

[Temptation]

I am sure there are a couple horny teenagers here thinking "3-some" but since you're obviously relationship material... sounds like she needs to explore her sexuality which means... whoever she's with she's going to be with someone else on the side. She could be doing this for attention... who knows but the longer you're with her... the more you're denying YOU a decent relationship to find and develop.

[Ih8urdsm]

So after this first started and we got into a fight i was talking to her mom(her mom LOVES me, and calls me all the time...a lot more than my girl lol), and her mom has had a lot of issues with her, especially regaurding the suicides and everything, so i tell her the basics of whats going on , and she tells me to kick her out, and not talk to her anymore, that she is manipulative and going to take advantage of me. And that she'll pay her part of the rent, so im not stressed over that....But that really is a lot of the reason i let her stay so long. I dont really make enough money to pay my rent and all my bills (still paying loans and stuff)...So i constantly gave in and tried my hardest to make things right...i put so much into make this girl happy, and to me, she always was, everything was behind my back!

[Ih8urdsm]

I am sure there are a couple horny teenagers here thinking "3-some" but since you're obviously relationship material... sounds like she needs to explore her sexuality which means... whoever she's with she's going to be with someone else on the side. She could be doing this for attention... who knows but the longer you're with her... the more you're denying YOU a decent relationship to find and develop.

Eh, she likes manly girls..i think because she's such a princess she likes the manly ones, she always says there cant 'be two princess's'...so i have no interest in them..

And i was fine w/ girl girl thing as far as sexual plessure, im a very open person, thats fine, but it was the feelings that were obviously there, and hidden from me that if f u cked up..i mean she told this girl for 7 months that she wasnt with me!

[Carlos_E]

i was fine w/ girl girl thing as far as sexual plessure, im a very open person, thats fine, but it was the feelings that were obviously there, and hidden from me that if f u cked up..i mean she told this girl for 7 months that she wasnt with me!

Ummm... too much drama.

This is why you NEVER someone who is bisexual. I would never do it. They're good for a lay but have serious issues with committing to one sex or the other.

[Ih8urdsm]

So to get by this whole issue of money, which i am being totally honest when i say it was a big reason i let her stay so long, i had to bite a bullet i really didnt want to. I had a 401k plan from a previous employer i started 3 years ago with over 10,000$ in it, so i had to close the account, take the 10% early withdrawal penalty, and tax hit, and jsut start over at square one (im still in my mid/late 20's)..

I didnt want to do that, and i know it can hurt, but i feel that it was the best choice over trying to live under the same roof...I mean she even suggested we move into a two bedroom place in this complex!!!

So i guess she is trying to have her cake and eat it too...

[USfighterFC]

yo get rid of that piece of shit as fast as you can. She is a lying miserable dickhead who will get whats coming to her in the end. You deserve better than that piece of shit. I been lied to and cheated on before and it sucks but what sucks even more was i forgave that person and ended up being cheated on again after that. Once a cheater always a cheater. I know sometimes it'/s hard to kick someone out of your life but I;m tellin you dude throw this girl out for good. It sucks at first but you will thank me for it later. Dont let her back and toss her shit out the window so you never have to see her face. Let her rot. Just reading that got me more aggravated as I scrolled down. Leave her or try to get a threesome out of it (j/k...but not really). If you dont leave her this will happen over and over and over.

[USfighterFC]

So i guess she is trying to have her cake and eat it too...

You aint kiddin but get another girl and have her stay over all the time and rub it in your ex's face this way she can have her shit and you can force feed it down her throat.

[Ih8urdsm]

yo get rid of that piece of shit as fast as you can. She is a lying miserable dickhead who will get whats coming to her in the end. You deserve better than that piece of shit. I been lied to and cheated on before and it sucks but what sucks even more was i forgave that person and ended up being cheated on again after that. Once a cheater always a cheater. I know sometimes it'/s hard to kick someone out of your life but I;m tellin you dude throw this girl out for good. It sucks at first but you will thank me for it later. Dont let her back and toss her shit out the window so you never have to see her face. Let her rot. Just reading that got me more aggravated as I scrolled down. Leave her or try to get a threesome out of it (j/k...but not really). If you dont leave her this will happen over and over and over.

Yea, She is manipulative, which is hard when you care so much about someone because you want to believe ya know. I just feel better when i dont 'care', rather than not knowing. Im not a complete control freak, but i hated not knowing where she was because i didnt trust her..i mean i wasnt all up on her shit about it, but i know i felt like crap going to bed a lone some nights because of those thoughts...and know i feel i just can let it go and KNOW she's not coming home so i dont really give a shi t what she's doing...

The threesome thing is dumb to me. I have done it before with other girls, and its cool and all, and i wish i would have video taped it to watch it when i get those urges lol, but you can have just as good sex with one girl as you can two, especially if your not attracted to both of them. The girl is not at all hot..i could post her myspace page but that might be too ****ed up

[Ih8urdsm]

the girl looks like a big 14 year old boy

[Nasser]

SOB Brother!!!!! Man I gotta hand it to you for being as strong as you are, my jaw hit the floor a few times after reading this and seems hard to imagine ever going through something like that.
I really don't know what to say, only that I truly believe you are doing the right thing, you can't let her do this to you 1 minute longer, as hard as it may be your gonna be fine Man!
Obviously you must realize this is right if her Mom said what she said and offered to help you out like that, keep your head up and know that things will only get better.
"Teetor totering" your emotions like that is not healthy and you'll be FAR better without that shit!

[Ih8urdsm]

all her shits pilled in my livingroom right now..i dont have the spite to throw it out the window...im not that vendictive of a person

But originally a while back i told her i'd give her a bunch of the shit we've bought together for the apt, but i told her today im keeping that to pay the bills and the damages she did to this place when she threw one of her tantrums...

One other thing i'd like to clear up...I dont really care so much about her messing around with this other girl. Its the Lying that really gets to me...i mean she lies right to me about all of it, even after i just asked to know the truth.

[Ih8urdsm]

"Teetor totering" your emotions like that is not healthy and you'll be FAR better without that shit!

yea thats really how i feel, she is the type of person that can make you feel so good and needed, but then also like complete sh it since she is completely self centered. I really feel too though that she is going to try to come back in a week or so if i dont talk to her. Thats how she is, she's such a bitch and stuborn when you try to make her talk or something...but give her a little space and she wants to come crawling back. But this is the first time i have ever felt like i truley understand i cant live like this anymore

[USfighterFC]

Yea, She is manipulative, which is hard when you care so much about someone because you want to believe ya know. I just feel better when i dont 'care', rather than not knowing. Im not a complete control freak, but i hated not knowing where she was because i didnt trust her..i mean i wasnt all up on her shit about it, but i know i felt like crap going to bed a lone some nights because of those thoughts...and know i feel i just can let it go and KNOW she's not coming home so i dont really give a shi t what she's doing...

The threesome thing is dumb to me. I have done it before with other girls, and its cool and all, and i wish i would have video taped it to watch it when i get those urges lol, but you can have just as good sex with one girl as you can two, especially if your not attracted to both of them. The girl is not at all hot..i could post her myspace page but that might be too ****ed up

My ex was the same way...she wouldnt come home for hours after she got out of work (she's a stripper) and I find out she's getting high and all this shit. She ended up playin me behind my back right when I was going to call it quits. Anyway she was genuinly sorry and did everything right to prove it to me and tried extremely hard to show me she was serious but I just didnt respect her anymore and treated her like shit. Anyway back to you. you should stop respecting this girl totally because if you do then your not respecting yourself and thats the most important thing. it just wasnt a one time thing it was 7 months!!! With a bull dyke at that!!! Just toss the girl for good it will turn your life around.

[USfighterFC]

Lying is one of the worst traits to possess. I cant stand liars (hear me hoss?). Lying is something that literally makes me flip out. Especially if you lie right to my face when I've already caught you.

[Carlos_E]

all her shits pilled in my livingroom right now..i dont have the spite to throw it out the window...im not that vendictive of a person

But originally a while back i told her i'd give her a bunch of the shit we've bought together for the apt, but i told her today im keeping that to pay the bills and the damages she did to this place when she threw one of her tantrums...

One other thing i'd like to clear up...I dont really care so much about her messing around with this other girl. Its the Lying that really gets to me...i mean she lies right to me about all of it, even after i just asked to know the truth.

Don't throw her stuff on the street. Take it to a storage place and mail her the address and receipt so she can pick up her stuff from there. If you don't, she'll take her sweet ass time picking it up just so she can have the opportunity to see you and manipulate you.

[Ih8urdsm]

she just sent me this text message:

"i dont have many regrets in my life but meeting u has to be in my top 5. Congrats 4 bein the only 1 besides my mom 2 make me wanna take my life. Ur Good. U cant wash ur hands enough to get my blood off them"

WTF am i supposed to say to that?? I mean its not easy to just sit back and ignore that shit

[Carlos_E]

Lying is one of the worst traits to possess. I cant stand liars (hear me hoss?). Lying is something that literally makes me flip out. Especially if you lie right to my face when I've already caught you.

Agreed

[Carlos_E]

she just sent me this text message:

"i dont have many regrets in my life but meeting u has to be in my top 5. Congrats 4 bein the only 1 besides my mom 2 make me wanna take my life. Ur Good. U cant wash ur hands enough to get my blood off them"

WTF am i supposed to say to that?? I mean its not easy to just sit back and ignore that shit

Response: Cut the passive aggressive garbage and come pick up your shit.

[USfighterFC]

she just sent me this text message:

"i dont have many regrets in my life but meeting u has to be in my top 5. Congrats 4 bein the only 1 besides my mom 2 make me wanna take my life. Ur Good. U cant wash ur hands enough to get my blood off them"

WTF am i supposed to say to that?? I mean its not easy to just sit back and ignore that shit

Honestly my exact words would be "Eat shit". I swear thats what I would say. But see she's manipulating you more here to make you respond to her. I know she's tried to kill herself twice already but now she's trying to put you in a corner where now you have to talk to her. Dont do it and ignore it. And you're already faultering by saying its not easy to sit back and ignore it. She knows you'll give it and the thing that will shock her the most is by NOT GIVING IN!!

[Carlos_E]

If she is thinking of suicide, reply with the local suicide hotline number. No one who wants to kill themselves announces to everyone they're going to kill themselves. They just do it.

[Carlos_E]

USfighterFC, I've been with 2 lying sack of shits in a row so I know how you feel. I think we're both bitter.

[USfighterFC]

If she is thinking of suicide, reply with the local suicide hotline number. No one who wants to kill themselves announces to everyone they're going to kill themselves. They just do it.

I agree and I think that if they really really want to die they accomplish it in one try. *Do not mark my words on that*

[USfighterFC]

USfighterFC, I've been with 2 lying sack of shits in a row so I know how you feel. I think we're both bitter.

It's just very easy to relate. In the end in my relationship I felt bad for giving her hope we could work things out but hey she shouldnt have cheated. But before all that it's just the anger and paranoia that stays with you it seems forever. I'm very bitter over it because trust is a very hard thing to gain when its been broken and that carries on into other relationships.

[USfighterFC]

Ih8urdsm since you havent posted in 3 minutes I;m assuming your responding.

[Ih8urdsm]

I knew i hated this shit before i got into the relationship, and now im mad at myself for trying

[USfighterFC]

I knew i hated this shit before i got into the relationship, and now im mad at myself for trying

Ehh you live and you learn. Experience is the best teacher.

[Carlos_E]

It's just very easy to relate. In the end in my relationship I felt bad for giving her hope we could work things out but hey she shouldnt have cheated. But before all that it's just the anger and paranoia that stays with you it seems forever. I'm very bitter over it because trust is a very hard thing to gain when its been broken and that carries on into other relationships.

That is the hard part. NOT carrying it into the next relationship. Don't let that person ruin you and you become jaded.

[Ih8urdsm]

Ih8urdsm since you havent posted in 3 minutes I;m assuming your responding.

I just dont know what to say man..>I really dont know what to do either. Its fuc ked up because when she was here, she wouldnt talk to me, just packing her shit when i told her to leave...but now she wants to text me? I just hate hearing the suicide threats because although im sure i dont want to be with her, i have a hard time letting that slip if anyone said it. And i have to take it seriously since she has tried twice, and i noticed she had some pills in her bag last night...she's a crazy bitch....literally certifiable.

[Carlos_E]

I knew i hated this shit before i got into the relationship, and now im mad at myself for trying

Don't respond. If you do respond, respond with the suicide hotline number. You need to end all communication. Arguing is still communicating so don't even do that.

[USfighterFC]

Don't respond. If you do respond, respond with the suicide hotline number. You need to end all communication. Arguing is still communicating so don't even do that.

agreed