Heart Broken again :( depressed and I hate my life!

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 12:41 AM

I feel like the nicer I am to girls the more they take advantage of me. They take my kindness for weakness. I always get the short end of the stick and I don't understand it. I just don't know anymore and I have truly hit rock bottom!

I was with one girl for 2 years and the girl left me for some other dude and she cheated on me and I was broken hearted for like 4 months then I met another girl who was great and spent a year with her and she left me and I was broken. I never really got over the first girl, the second girl was the band aid and when she left me there was a huge scar that was never healed. I went though so much depression and felt like killing myself it took me forever to get over her. It was pretty sad. I look for answers but things never got better I just didn't know why I felt so down in the dumps it was 8 month of hurting and in those 8 months I did a lot of thinking I took her for granted and I promised that I would never take anyone for granted ever again and I promised I would always be good to girls I mean I have younger sisters who i love and my dad always treated my mom like shit so i promised my self I wanted to be with someone who I didn't fight with cause my family fought so much. So in that 8th month i met another girl, she was bangin a notch that's for sure I take her out and every dude jocked but the girl was an acohoholic and had a lot of problems she didn't believe in god and was way diffrent from my ex she wasn't going to school she had nooooo depth to her but she was fine as ****. When my ex left me i promised any girl who came in my life would never leave me because i would do everything for them and would be a great boyfriend and i was i was so good to this girl i did everything for her well once i realized she was someone i didn't want to spend my future with i broke it off. I was still hurting and after meeting that girl i missed my ex even more showed me that she was special.

A week later i met really close friend of mines sister she was another dime, man I thought i met my soul mate and I did everything for this girl we stayed together for about 4 months and in that 4 months i treated her like a princess and spent more money then i had. I put a lot into her. Well as soon as things got good she got a call from her ex boyfriend who said he was moving back to cali from NY and all the sudden she was in this huge dilemia and had to pick between us she truly like me and she loved the other dude she would cry to me telling me she didn't know what to do. So she flyed to NY to see if she was still in love and what do you know she came back and kicked me to the curb. I couldn't believe I was ****ed over again. I just didn't know what I did wrong and why I was being punished.

So about a month later a girl from my work broke up with her ex of 4 years and we started talking. I liked this girl cause she seemed to have a good head on her shoulder was a hard worker and graduated from college oh and she was another hottie I couldn't believe I pulled 3 fine as girls the working out was paying off thats for sure. So I knew I was in that rebound terroitoy but I liked her enough to take a chance and things started off good and we worked out together we shared a lot fo the same intrestest and as soon as things were going good the ex calls me up out of the blue and a few days later the girl whose boyfriend was flying back told her sister she missed me and made a huge mistake and should never have left me so like they say when it rains it poors. I kicked it with the ex and realized she had changed a lot and wasn't the same person i once knew and the girl who left me for the dude from NY ****ed me so i decided to stay with the co-worker and a few weeks later she decides she misses her ex. So she gets back with him and I was so hurt again i couldn't believe it i wanted to kill myself. I lost faith and didn't know what to do anymore. Well a few weeks later she does what the NY girl did and realized she made a mistake I took her back eventhough everyone told me not to but i did and so were together for about a month and i wasn't happy because I felt like she could just up and leave me at anytime plus she was with her ex for 4 years and she just dropped him and started sleeping with me and didn't even take a break kind of heartless so i get a call last night and she tells me that we should cut it off. I was shocked cause she was so in to me she always wanted to hang out and loved the attention I gave her but she missed her ex again so i told her to **** off and never talk to me again. Oh and she said the main reason for why she was cutting it off was cause she didn't believe in god and i did and if we had kids there would be problems even though i told her i would let my kids decide for themself but whatever it was an excuse. She came off as a great girl when I first met her but she just had issues. The girl was an emotinal wreck I mean she even but it on her voicmail saying she couldn't get to the phone cause she was an emotional wreck, who does that? she was so confused she tryed to drink her problems away and she didn't have god to run to. She did her bestfriend dirty and when I realized she could **** her ex over and her best friend I knew she wasn't anyone I was willing to be with.

I do so much for these girl I mean i threw the last one a 500 dollar suprise party and had nealry 90 of our friend there and she was happy but it took me so much time and effort thrwoing it and she didn't even seem aprciative! I would wash her close I sent her flowers Id cook her food I did everything for this girls and all the others I treated them all with respect and now I just feel like **** them. I'm tired of being screwed over. I know a lot of my guys friend say just find them **** them and then forget them and are just about ****ing girls and pretty much living with the attitude of **** a bitch! I was like that but after being hurt my ways changed and now im sometimes wishing i never carred so much. It just sucks when you put so much into somone an they don't give a ****. I'm a good person and I don't cheat I don't steal and I'm honest but Im always getting ****ed! These girls depress the shit out of me I lose weight and can't ever eat it sucks. I spent so much money and now im in dept 6G's and to top off my shitty life I hate my job my best friend is moving away I'm gonna be comming off a cycle and i know i will be super depressed I stop going to school and I just feel like I have nothing. I'm lost in this crazy world.

I just need some advice I need help...I just hate my life right now and have truly hit rock bottom!

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 12:55 AM

shit bro, that is quite a story. If I could say anything, just keep in mind that there are two sides to the coin.

Don't pretend that what is going on isn't real because then it won't be and also don't get too bent out of shape when things don't work out because they probably weren't meant to be real.

An example of this is when you are in a relationship that has potential don't hold back because then nothing will ever happen but on the other hand don't convince yourself that your relationship will be perfect. Strong relationships need to be worked for. And don't blame yourself for things that go wrong and that you can't control.

Everything happens and you learn and grow. You'll meet someone who will see that you are good person. I know how you feel man, there are some really F**ked up people out there, but you know what you live/ learn and go on.

Keep your head up bro.

GP

**OSTIE** · 05-22-2006, 12:56 AM

Fck bro, that was ALOT to read, but I did read it...

Maybe you should see someone to help you along... Im not saying that theres anything wrong with you, its common for alot of people to go see a doctor to help them through the tough times...

I would say I was sort of like you, in the fact that I put everything into relationships and got shit on... But I realized it was because I was a pussy and would give the girl everything at her command... which girls dont want...

As soon as I was like fck this, im just gonna be myself, BUT im also going to play the relationship games which i never was into.... things got alot easier... I mean im still nice to girls, but you have to realize that they have the same insercurities as we do so if u dont like something about the girl, tell her, or dont pick up the phone for a couple days... girls like to be chased and if you play the same games she will be into you more...

Think of it this way... when these girls who are playin you, do stuff like not call you for a couple days, you start wondering what you did wrong and feel like u need this girl, blah blah blah.... girls think the same thing, so play the game back

I know my advice might not make the most sense, sh!t i still dont get alotta these games, but I play anyways and it has brought me a lot closer to girls and leaves girls chasing me then I chase them and if the games we both play pan out, i know this girl gets me and we have a solid connection... Hey, I still get hurt sometimes, but its part of the journey on finding the girl you wanna be with for life...

Good luck

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 01:05 AM

Read THE GAME - the art of pickup artists

This book is written from a sociological standpoint on ways to approach women and basically how they work.

I am certain you are a great person and if there was anything maybe you could do would be to change how treat girls. I am all about being a gentlemen but getting women is almost like playing a chess game, you can't let them take you for granted and you have to let them wanting more.

Again read THE GAME, it may or may not help

Good luck,

GP

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 01:12 AM

Damn im suprised you guys actually read everything. Thanks for the advice. I hate games but Ive learned that you have to play them. I realized that Im not gonna just do everything for these girls when they don't deserve it. I don't have problems getting girls Im just a picky guy and when a good girls come along I tend to get attached and try to do whatever I can to keep her. I guess if it's not ment to be it's not ment to be. I just hate the fact I put so much effort forward and get hosed everytime. I mean 5 times and I'm only 23 i think Im doing something wrong!

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 01:16 AM

dude, read THE GAME

You have NOTHING!!!! to worry about.

Just think of Jay-Z "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!!!!!!!"

GP

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 01:17 AM

No dude, it was a good length, people are just A.D.D. on this site. You told your story.

**soccer#3** · 05-22-2006, 01:14 AM

been there dont that.. bro i know how u feel.

i got a lil confused tho wit all the girls goin back and forth, im tired as hell.

anyway, from my experience i've always learned a lesson and that is the more u treat girls like shit the more they'll like u.. go figure.

this is one of the consequenses u take when fallin in love and/or growin emotions for another person.. love can be the best thing one day but it can also make u feel like dyin the next day.

my advice to u would be dont think long-term wit girls for a while. u seem like a cool dude.. dont have any expections when u date someone, that way u wont be let down if something like this would happen again.

keep ur head up.. after a dark night theres a bright day

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 01:19 AM

^^^^^^^ thanks bro I don't even want to be with anyone anymore I use to think there was a good girl out there but your so right when you ignore them and treat them like shit there all over you. Funny how that works...It just sucks I work with this girl and whenever I see her my stomach turns. I wish I could quit but I'm so in dept.

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 01:23 AM

you could whore yourself to men...

just kidding...

you'll get over it.

What is life without problems

**OSTIE** · 05-22-2006, 01:29 AM

Originally Posted by PapaPump8

^^^^^^^ thanks bro I don't even want to be with anyone anymore I use to think there was a good girl out there but your so right when you ignore them and treat them like shit there all over you. Funny how that works...It just sucks I work with this girl and whenever I see her my stomach turns. I wish I could quit but I'm so in dept.

GP knows whats up with playin the game.... but I think your analyzing this wrong... dont treat a girl like shit, cause in the long run, if this girl is still with you and you had to be someone your not (treatin her like shit) your still going to be miserable...

Like I said, be yourself, and if your a nice guy thats great, but you have to realize no one wants someone who will fall down, so you have to still play some sort of cat and mouse...

I think I fall into the nice guy category, but I found out along time ago there are plenty of women out there, so I dont sell myself short.... If this girl isnt attracted to the nice guy theme, ditch her and move on... it gives u a nice guy/bad boy split that girls will get hooked on... and you end up finding a girl who has a "real" connection with you

**Growingpains** · 05-22-2006, 01:41 AM

ya man, its definately not about being mean or anything like that. You still need to be a gentleman but the difference is that you have to make sure they don't take you for granted. Its totally a game of cat and mouse.

I know this isn't what you probably need right now but I think that the the main idea is that its not your fault, but you know that you can learn from whats happened and never look back.

Cheers,

GP

**soccer#3** · 05-22-2006, 01:15 AM

yeah dude that took forever to read.. u shouldve made it shorter

**soccer#3** · 05-22-2006, 01:26 AM

i see nark is view this thread.. hopefully the intelligent poet will have something to say here too.. but im going to bed

**zimmy** · 05-22-2006, 01:44 AM

dude...i mean this from my heart man, cus i feel ya on the situation. You have alot of the same problems i do...difference is...I know what i'm doing wrong i'm just to stupid to fix it :P

seriously...read your own post...all that drama there... all that clinginess. I mean seriously man... you were talking about kids in a relationship that short? Take a step back and a breathe...next time you go out with a girl just have fun, be yourself. Don't be so stuck on where things are heading or where you have been. The harder you try to affect the outcome of the relationship in terms of TRYING to be REALLLLY nice or go out of your way to please them (i.e doormat) the worse off you will be. Instead of looking for the perfect girl ... or the girl who will help you forget about who ever...try to go out and just enjoy the company of the next girl you date.

Another thing...unfortunately the pattern that you are seeing in these girls, being emotionally unavailable, may be something you are subconsciously going after. Reading some of that post makes me think you have some self esteem problems. I mean the way you think yourself lucky because these hot chics are going out with you...just reaks of low self esteem. It also sounds like you define your self worth based on your dating statue. If i'm right about any of that (which i could be totally off based since i'm only reading one post)... you might want to talk to a professional or read some self help books. Work on you and let the rest fall into place.

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 02:05 AM

zimmy I think your right I shouldn't be thinking like damn i got 3 hot girls but i was a skinny kid once and since ive gotten bigger. I'm a pretty cocky guy when it comes to things im good at but realtionships isn't something im totally confident in. I also agree with the girls being emotianlly unavailble. I put myself in a bad situation. When you say I have low self esteem I think hell no but in some ways you could be right. I mean I didn't always get girls so now that I'm getting girls and there pretty fine it's a little diffrent I know what I'm cabable I feel like I could get any girl but that doesn't fix the problem of being screwed over. I just want to meet a nice girl who aprricates a guy who is willing to treat her good. Zimmy thanks for the reality check cause I have been clingy. Im not that kind of person at all. In someways after reading my post again i come off as a pussy lol and yeah i don't like being alone and that in itself is a problem i guess you gotta be happy with yourself before you can make anyone happy. As for bringing up the kids thing that was totally her I never bring shit like that...

**zimmy** · 05-22-2006, 02:10 AM

i don't like being alone and that in itself is a problem i guess you gotta be happy with yourself before you can make anyone happy.

Exactly man...you work on that...and the right girl will come along and you'll know it's right. Don't rush things.

Funny... i have the exact problem cept mine is cus i'm an ex fatty. And i'm a cocky bastard when it comes to things i'm good at like intelligents wise, but relationship bs...no confidence...and girls smell that sh*t.

So any who nuf with the dr phil stuff. Not about being a p*ssy...just don't sweat the small things. I mean in 10 years will you remember any of these girls? Life's to short dawg.

**Mizfit** · 05-22-2006, 02:15 AM

HMm sounds to me like you gotta stop finding women who just broke up with boyfriends.. People need to give their hearts time to heal once they break up with someone.. this is a given..

Also as nice as you are being, are you sure your not coming off as too needy?

**ginkobulloba** · 05-22-2006, 05:14 AM

Yes, read the Game, become a pickup artist and find new meaning in life. Seriously.

**Mizfit** · 05-22-2006, 05:30 AM

Games?

Nah i just think people are often confused and only see one side of a relationship.. you need to learn how to read your partner..

Understand when too much is too much and possibly when your not doing enough..

It's not a game.. it's a balancing act.. and you can't treat new relationships the same way you did the past...

Too many times i read threads about people getting burnt in relationships.. Truth is.. there is always two sides too a story and you gotta try to understand both in order to get the full picture...

Women are not scum as a whole and neither are men.. instead of saying buy a book, play games.. why not try and make better choices..?

**Timm1704** · 05-22-2006, 05:44 AM

i used to be very soppy with women, and too attentive i believe. havent really been shit on per se, but have had my share of messy relationships for a 21 year old. ive recently became involved with a girl, and ive realised i have changed, for what i believe to be the better. im not as easily attached, attentive or caring, although i do still care, just not bothered to show it lol. i think its just because ive lost abit of faith in women in general, and dont believe in the 'all things good' stuff. not that im a pessimist, just a realist. ive learned alot in the last few years, and have changed alot as a result, i feel like ive had an epiphany regarding life. maybe you will get the same thing soon. just remember buddy, that everything always works out

**GQ-Bouncer** · 05-22-2006, 06:24 AM

I Agree,

a) Read books on relationships such as "THE GAME" (which i havent read, but seems to come highly recommended)

or b) find God, once you start living for more than yourself life significantly changes

c) start meaningless relationships with girls, lead them on, make them feel special, and fall in love with you and then absolutley crush them one day (as in, tell them how the relationship was just a lie or a bet with one of your friends and how horrable she is, etc.) -- it sounds bad, but hey - it'll make you feel better, oh, and have pre-set goals, as in, you have to cheat on them atleast twice, stuff like that

always understand that it's the person who cares the least, who has control of the relationship

Good Luck

**slob** · 05-22-2006, 06:25 AM

papapump check ur pm. i sent u something that will help

**J-Dogg** · 05-22-2006, 06:38 AM

Well it really takes 6 months for a partner to “let down” the guard they put up. For the first 6 months or so, they just try to be everything you expect them to be.

Don’t change who you are in an attempt to find another girl…and keep her. Just settle down, relax and enjoy life. Girls are defiantly attracted to confidence, so build yourself up.

Girls are made happy in different ways also. If a girl is a “Visual” person, she likes guys to do things for her…wash her car, fix her car, do anything thoughtful. An “Auditorial” girl likes guys to tell her she is beautiful, you love her, you’re so lucky to have her. And finally a “kenosteic” girl is going to like you to show affection by giving her hugs, kissing, using contact to show how you feel. They probably enjoy them all, but everyone has one that is dominate. If you research it a little, you’ll find Visual people are fast speaking and normally very driven. Auditorial are more laid back, they learn best though hearing more than doing. Kenosteic people are normally involved with music they “feel” it and are way laid back.

It is not about changing who you are either; it’s about finding what you can do to make the other happy. Don’t do everything to please them, but let them know you care…you are trying too hard. When you get into the relationship a little, communication is the key to maintain it then.

**Mizfit** · 05-22-2006, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Well it really takes 6 months for a partner to “let down” the guard they put up. For the first 6 months or so, they just try to be everything you expect them to be.

Don’t change who you are in an attempt to find another girl…and keep her. Just settle down, relax and enjoy life. Girls are defiantly attracted to confidence, so build yourself up.

Girls are made happy in different ways also. If a girl is a “Visual” person, she likes guys to do things for her…wash her car, fix her car, do anything thoughtful. An “Auditorial” girl likes guys to tell her she is beautiful, you love her, you’re so lucky to have her. And finally a “kenosteic” girl is going to like you to show affection by giving her hugs, kissing, using contact to show how you feel. They probably enjoy them all, but everyone has one that is dominate. If you research it a little, you’ll find Visual people are fast speaking and normally very driven. Auditorial are more laid back, they learn best though hearing more than doing. Kenosteic people are normally involved with music they “feel” it and are way laid back.

It is not about changing who you are either; it’s about finding what you can do to make the other happy. Don’t do everything to please them, but let them know you care…you are trying too hard. When you get into the relationship a little, communication is the key to maintain it then.

Good post!

**lucabratzi** · 05-22-2006, 07:39 AM

bro. i know what u are goin through...girls can be the death of u...i always thought there is the right girl out there...but alot of them are just confused and i've learned like u that u have to give them a break from there ex bf...my last few gf's have been fresh out of a relationship and it makes things alot harder on u...pull through these hard times, everyone goes through shit like this...u just gotta keep ur head up and hope for the best...u should use these girls as inspiration to do better for urself, whether its in ur career or workin out...make them be like dam i wish i never left him....when i break up with a girl or she breaks up with me i just think its there loss cause i know were im goin to be in 10 years and if they dont wanna be part of my life **** em...

**-DedicateD-** · 05-22-2006, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

bro. i know what u are goin through...girls can be the death of u...i always thought there is the right girl out there...but alot of them are just confused and i've learned like u that u have to give them a break from there ex bf...my last few gf's have been fresh out of a relationship and it makes things alot harder on u...pull through these hard times, everyone goes through shit like this...u just gotta keep ur head up and hope for the best...u should use these girls as inspiration to do better for urself, whether its in ur career or workin out...make them be like dam i wish i never left him....when i break up with a girl or she breaks up with me i just think its there loss cause i know were im goin to be in 10 years and if they dont wanna be part of my life **** em...

ditto, that is the attitude i have after breaking up with my gf of over 3 years. shes gonna know what she missed out on when im driving my 760i back into my 4 car garage to greet my beautiful wife and kids.

dont be dependent on anyone else to make you happy, it seems that your turning every pretty girl you meet into a future wife/gf, and then getting upset when it doesnt work out. Relax a little bit, enjoy their company but realize that if they happen to leave there are a countless amount of women just as hot/smart/successful that would love to replace them, you just have to find them.

and hit the gym HARD, not bcuz your angry about your ex's dont give them the time of day, b/c your excited about meeting new girls and you know theyre gunna be impressed with what you got goin on...

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 01:32 PM

thx guys there is a lot of good advice here for me and believe me I will be using it. I know I'm just gonna hit the gym hella hard and make those girl regret leaving me. I know I shouldn't be thinking so far ahead. I've made a lot of stupid decisons and you guys point them out and I just have to remember the advice im getting. It's like I know what I should be doing but I don't do it.As for the book I have to order it right they don't just have it on the internet?

**Polska** · 05-22-2006, 01:43 PM

He doesn't need to read The Game. the game is all about picking up girls, it has absolutely no substance when it comes to KEEPING THEM. And that is his problem. He does not seem to have a problem finding new girls.

I suggest you go on www.askmen.com and read the dating column by doc love. if you like what you read there then get the book The System (or download it).

after reading the system you will never lose another girl again - and if you do, it will be because you will be doing the walking, not her.

**Natty99** · 05-22-2006, 01:48 PM

Papa, Just starting to realize that all of us in AR are like a family huh......Me too man

Went thru a very similar situation. Thought I would never find another girl.

Listen to me man, take some time to get to know yourself again, workout, listen to music, go out with your buddies, talk to your family. Do everything YOU want to do. If you don't like your job, get a new one man. You really can do anything you put your mind to. Before you even think about another GF, wait till your happy with yourself and confident.

Go into a relationship thinking that you want to be happy, not just making her happy. Your gonna do just fine buddy.

Us good guys don't finish last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**cfiler** · 05-22-2006, 01:54 PM

You'll be fine. There are plenty of women out there. You'll find the right one eventually, just don't be in such a hurry.

Maybe you should look into seeking a coucelor. They could help you bring your confidence back up, and work through this with you.

**USfighterFC** · 05-22-2006, 02:05 PM

This is really good advice here......stop falling in love with every girl you meet. Thats why people date....to find the right person (and to screw around) If you keep falling in love your gonna keep getting hurt. It seems every girl you came across you instantly fell in love with.

**PapaPump8** · 05-22-2006, 02:34 PM

Yes I feel like you guys are family...There isn't a lot of places where you can come and talk to a group of people who will give you good advice. I think age has to do a big part of it, maturity level on AR helps big time. I feel like people on this site have gone through a lot and I can realte to. I think when you care about your self enough to workout and even take it to another level you have a lot in commen with me. I hope that makes sence...

As for the game and the other sites i got about picking up women thanks, I read them and like educating myself and I always love learning new things. I don't have problems picking up women I know I can get girls. It's one thing comming to a forum and telling people who don't know me perosnally im heart broken and another showing people i know. I always hold my head high and carry myself with confidence. When I met a girl Im fine it's when she leave me when I'm all hurt and become a little pussy! I just need to stop thinking every girl i meet will become my wife that's the problem. I just need to have fun and not care so much!

**-DedicateD-** · 05-22-2006, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by PapaPump8

Yes I feel like you guys are family...There isn't a lot of places where you can come and talk to a group of people who will give you good advice. I think age has to do a big part of it, maturity level on AR helps big time. I feel like people on this site have gone through a lot and I can realte to. I think when you care about your self enough to workout and even take it to another level you have a lot in commen with me. I hope that makes sence...

As for the game and the other sites i got about picking up women thanks, I read them and like educating myself and I always love learning new things. I don't have problems picking up women I know I can get girls. It's one thing comming to a forum and telling people who don't know me perosnally im heart broken and another showing people i know. I always hold my head high and carry myself with confidence. When I met a girl Im fine it's when she leave me when I'm all hurt and become a little pussy! I just need to stop thinking every girl i meet will become my wife that's the problem. I just need to have fun and not care so much!

thats what you gotta be like, download some music, with some cocky ass lyrics to listen to once inawhile, works to get me thinkin on tha right track...maybe some 2pac- i get around, or nate dogg- nobody does it better, fat joe - bet your man cant.

make yourself a priority, as for this site i would find it hard to believe there are this many people with similar lifestyles that are good hearted, and willing to help and listen to all problems. getting this sh*t off your chest was a big step to feeling better in the long run

**thegodfather** · 05-23-2006, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by PapaPump8

Yes I feel like you guys are family...There isn't a lot of places where you can come and talk to a group of people who will give you good advice. I think age has to do a big part of it, maturity level on AR helps big time. I feel like people on this site have gone through a lot and I can realte to. I think when you care about your self enough to workout and even take it to another level you have a lot in commen with me. I hope that makes sence...

As for the game and the other sites i got about picking up women thanks, I read them and like educating myself and I always love learning new things. I don't have problems picking up women I know I can get girls. It's one thing comming to a forum and telling people who don't know me perosnally im heart broken and another showing people i know. I always hold my head high and carry myself with confidence. When I met a girl Im fine it's when she leave me when I'm all hurt and become a little pussy! I just need to stop thinking every girl i meet will become my wife that's the problem. I just need to have fun and not care so much!

Bro, I believe in every relationship what it comes down to is that the feelings must be mutual and EQUAL in every sense, or as close to equal as possible. You should not, and could not, possibly want to be with someone who does not feel as strongly for you, as you do for them. You are cheating YOURSELF if you allow yourself to go on in that type of situation. You should be a slave for no one, and if those bitchs dont appreciate what you do for them, then they need to be swiftly kicked to the curb. You sound like you have a very strong and confident head on your shoulders, so stop letting women walk all over you. If a bitch told me she needed to chose between me and her ex-boyfriend, I would make the choice for her, PEACE! The reason is, anyone willing to question their feelings for you and put someone else there, does not feel strongly enough for you. You have to realize that those type of people are wasting your time in life, and you have more important people to see than to beat yourself up over someone like that. NOTHING, that anyone says here can help heal your wounds, believe me I know I have been there, and words do nothing. The only one proven method to heal, is TIME. That, and I recommend cutting all contacts with the ex's, get your number changed if need be. The energy it takes for you to beat yourself up over these women who destroy your heart, is better served in the gym or on women who will appreciate it. Im sure by now you can recognize a cold hearted bitch, my girlfriend used to be one. People change, but you cant wait around for them to change, you have to DO YOU!

**PapaPump8** · 05-23-2006, 12:26 AM

^^^^^^ thanks godfather I think you hit it right on the head...The only part that sucks is that I work with the girl I wish I could quit but I need money and my job pays 15-20 an hour I can't find anything else right now....As for the guy who said I'm afraid to be by myself I think your right, it sucks but it's true I hate being alone but honestly after the realtionships I have had in the past it's kind of turn me away and wanting me to just be alone. A lot of the stuff you guys say I know and and should have followed but it's so hard when your in it... Now im on the outside and im looking in and I realize I was with girl who took me for granted it's there loss not mine....

**thegodfather** · 05-23-2006, 12:31 AM

Originally Posted by PapaPump8

^^^^^^ thanks godfather I think you hit it right on the head...The only part that sucks is that I work with the girl I wish I could quit but I need money and my job pays 15-20 an hour I can't find anything else right now....As for the guy who said I'm afraid to be by myself I think your right, it sucks but it's true I hate being alone but honestly after the realtionships I have had in the past it's kind of turn me away and wanting me to just be alone. A lot of the stuff you guys say I know and and should have followed but it's so hard when your in it... Now im on the outside and im looking in and I realize I was with girl who took me for granted it's there loss not mine....

Well, you sound very much like me so its easy to relate (minus the god part). I dont really get much satisfaction from bangin random girls. I have been on and off with my girl for 6 years and have banged a ton of other girls and not a single one did anything for me besides my girlfriend. I know that you know the right things to do, its just a lot easier said than done in the actual situation. If you think you want a relationship, be ready to work HARD for it, just make sure you're not the one doing all the work, your girls gonna have to be willing to work as hard and meet you half way...

**taiboxa** · 05-22-2006, 02:25 PM

these threads have too long a posts for tai ><

**GQ-Bouncer** · 05-22-2006, 04:42 PM

Nick Lachey - Shades of Blue is a good break up song

**needmorestrength** · 05-22-2006, 11:18 PM

man.. you say you truly love these girls, but yet not even a month later your with a different "love of your life"... To me it sounds like your afriad to be alone! My advice is to take some time to know yourself, find what you truly want in a person..I got together with the love of my life, when I least expected it, but I knew what I wanted and I WAITED till I found it.. Then we took our time.. Hell we didn't kiss for about 6 weeks!! And now I am planning on asking her to marry me! take some time to yourself man, and dont look for anything