relationship advice needed....

[bulldawg_28]

Alright, here goes....I've been with this girl for almost two years. For the first year, our relationship was amazing. We spend just about all of our free time together. Within 3 months I told her I loved her, and she felt the same way. August came around, I went to a university that was like an hour away, and she was finishing her last year in highschool. So our time together was limited to the weekends. But still I came home every weekend to spend time with her. I mean it literally, every single weekend. So no partying and very little socializing for me. But during the year, there was a change going on between the two of us.

At first, she called me everynight wondering about what I was doing. In fact, she was somewhat jealous that I could do whatever I want(her mom has always been very strict about what she does). But I didn't really do much outside of lifting, and eating. I did go out a few times, but never did much of anything. I'm really not much a partier. We had a couple of arguments about her being overly concerned, but nothing too bad happend. As for me, I never really hassled her about what she did. If she wanted to go out and drink with her friends, I was fine with that. I just expected her to be responsible.

This summer, we kinda changed rolls. The main reason why I changed took place on her senior prom. She has a guy friend, who she spends a lot of her time with. I was fine with this. But there were a couple of things that really pissed me off. For one, he wrote "I love you" on her car. He also wrote that on a couple of her possessions. But I swallowed my anger, and never said a word. I knew it would just start an argument. At prom, he was making more physical contact that I liked. He was picking her up, swinging her around, and some other shit. That really pissed me off. So I was a little uncomfortable about her hanging around with my girl, but that would start an argument. Because he was her friend. Another thing that pissed me off was that he got her smoking like a ****ing chimney again. Before that, she looked me straight in the eye and said that she wanted to quit smoking, and that she wanted me to help. So what do I do? I got on her about smoking with her guy friend. This led to more arguments. The just about every single day he kept on calling her asking what she was doing, and asked if she wanted to do something with him. So she began spending more time with him than with me.

I would try to make plans with her, but she'd always say that Luke (her guy friend) had already made plans with her. The stuff they did was working on his tractors, or picking up tires in some other town, or some stupid shit (or so I'm told). Well, I really didn't like this. I tried like hell to make plans with her, but she acted like she was obligated to do so. Then Luke would call her just about everyday, asking her to do something, and even though she was busy, she'd go and spend time with him. Talk about a total ****ing ego killer for me. The girl I love feels obligated to spend time with me. She was very busy, working part time, and taking two hard college classes this summer, which I understand. But she never acted like she could spare 2 hours a week to be with me.

Not too long ago her and one of her girlfriends went out to an abanded bridge and drank. I told her that was immature and irresponsible because there's a good chance a cop or some whacko would come by and hassle them. She took this as an insult, and we began fighting again. Later that night, a bunch of guys went out there and drank with them. That night she slept out in the middle of the road. Now that's ****ing smart.

So this eventually led to our break up. Suddenly, I didn't really see any love coming from her anymore. She was also spending more time with Luke than ever. We sat on a swing sweat, tears filled my eyes when I told her that maybe we shouldn't be together anymore.

Ever since then, I've talked with her and emailed her a couple of times. We're talking about getting back together. But she says she isn't sure what she wants. I broke up with her because she wasn't happy, and I was just not doing the job of making her happy anymore. The only time I saw her happy this summer was when she was with her friends, especially Luke.

I talked with her today, she said that her, Luke, and one of her girlfriends are going on a road trip. Something tells me something is going to happen, and I won't be able to be with her again. She told me that she would never date/do anything with Luke, but she's changed. So I really don't know what to expect to happen. I have a gut feeling he wants more than a friendship, and what better time to act on that.

As for myself, I'm an emotional train wreck. I've never shed so many tears in my life. She said I was like her second mother. Well I'm sorry for carrying about you, loving you, and wanting to spend time with you. Now Luke broke up with his girlfriend because he was spending so much time with mine.

Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest. If any of you guys have been in this situation, and have gotten through it, I would like to hear about it. Or if any of you guys have any advice at all I would appreciate it. I would also appreciate that the immature comments be kept at a minimum. I'm sorry for sounding like an a$$hole, it's just that I'm really not in the mood to hear them.

[LetsGetItOn]

Damn man, I feel for you. So you were almost going out with her for 2 years? How long into your relationship did she start hanging out with this guy. My thoughts are her & Luke have something much deeper then just friendship, from all the times hanging out and telling you she already had something planned with Luke tells me that. They at minimum have made-out from the sounds of it. She changed man, from what you wrote I can imagine her mom probably really liked you and probably doesn't like the new way her daughter is acting now.

I know you love her man, but as much as it hurts it is definately time to start trying to move on, it will take awhile...several months, maybe even a year...it will take longer the longer you keep trying to hold on to her. She is done man, she doesn't deserve you man. The love just ain't the same anymore.

What you need to do is this: hang out with your buddies as much as possible on your free time, go out, miggle, you need to get her off your mind and start moving on.

[bulldawg_28]

Yeah man, two years. She said they've been hanging out even before we were together. Her mom did like me, but she also likes Luke too. There's definetly more than just friendship between them two. I saw it happening 2 months ago from his actions at her senior prom. I tried to explain to her that a lot of the times when a guy is good friends with a girl, it means he wants a piece. He may not act on it, he may never say anything, but he wants a piece. And now, he may just get it.

I don't know if I can move on. I wanted to marry this girl. I wanted us to be together for as long as our lives will let us. I wanted to grow old with her and watch our children and grandchildren grow up. But this probably wont ever happen.

I want this pain to go away. But it's not. I've been numbing it a bit by hanging and venting with my friends, and piling weights and work on my shoulders to try and get over her. But it's not helping much.

Anyways, I really appreciate your input bro. I really don't know what to say except I really appreciate your response.

[gmmvp42]

Stop crying about her, the faster you can get her out of your life the better off you will be. the longer you spend fantasizing a romantic reunion the longer it will take to become a man again. Find your passion (NOT HER!!) and pour your heart into it. If she loved/valued your companionship she would never let anything/person get in the way, obviously just the opposite is happening. You are hurting and dwelling on her will make it worse. Don't call her, stalk her, go to her work, her house etc. Stay away and be with people who respect you. This may be the hardest thing you have ever had to deal with but you will never be a man unless you move on, how or what that means is for you to find out.

[IBdmfkr]

I was friends with a few girls who I used to bang and then they'd get in relationships and they'd tell the boyfriends the whole time we were just friends etc while we still messed around on the side, kinda felt bad for the guys but these girls were very good friends of mine I just happened to mess around with. Anyway, don't be the boyfriend that doesn't know his girls has a guy on the side that doesn't expect anything from her and doesn't tell her what to do. JMO....Btw I'm married now so that's all in the past.

Sorry but younger guys just don't waste time and hang out with a good looking girl unless they are either trying to get something from her or already have.

[bulldawg_28]

gmmvp42- That kick in the ass just maybe the thing I need. But at the moment I'm not gonna give up until I know for sure. I called a buddy of mine that's gonna be with them on their road trip. He said that if anything happens, he's gonna let me know. Then it will be a done deal between us.

IBdmfkr- I agree with you but not fully. I was good friends with a gorgeous girl for years before I met my ex. I had desires, but I never acted, nor said anything about them. The reason being I had respect for her, and her boyfriend. Also, I didn't want to put our friendship in jeapordy. In fact, when I started dating this girl, I dropped my friend because my girl didn't like her at the time. I guess I ****ed up there too.

[Mizfit]

move on.. i know it hurts but if it looks liek a duck.. it's a duck.. there is more to it than you know...

[IBdmfkr]

IBdmfkr- I agree with you but not fully. I was good friends with a gorgeous girl for years before I met my ex. I had desires, but I never acted, nor said anything about them. The reason being I had respect for her, and her boyfriend. Also, I didn't want to put our friendship in jeapordy. In fact, when I started dating this girl, I dropped my friend because my girl didn't like her at the time. I guess I ****ed up there too.

I can see where you're coming from but this other guy may not have the same morals as yourself. "Trust No One" lol

[Mizfit]

I've had men i thought wanted to be my friend and i wish they had.. but when opportunity struck.. they took it...

Not all men have good intentions.. and not all women will stop them from acting on them- friend or not..

[Lavinco]

I have no I dea what you wrote because it's just way too long for me to read.

However, if you want advice, I suggest that you talk less and listen more.

[beuleux]

i feel for u dude weve all been there or somewhere similar, the only advice i can give u is... take the pain, it makes u stronger.

[bulldawg_28]

Well we're officially done. I called her when I got off work to say I love you, and that I miss you, etc. And guess who called me back? LUKE!!! Surpised? I sure as hell wasn't. He said that he'd appreciate if I quit calling her, and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. So I called his ass up, we had a huge fight over the phone. To sum it up, he said he didn't want more than friendship, and that I was only using her for sex. I will admit that I loved having sex with her, but I loved her more than to just have sex. I loved sex with her because I was very attracted to her, and we both enjoyed the hell out of it at the time.

So then she called me up and was questioning me why I was at my friends house (who is a girl). The reason I went there was to ask his ex why he broke up with her, and ask if she thought something was going on between them. I also had intentions on trying to patch things up between them. She wasn't there, so I talked with my friend(who's also her sister). And I vented.

My ex called me up saying "you don't trust me with Luke, why are you at her house?" I said that I was gonna talk to Linda(his ex). Which I really was. So then I just said that we're done, thats it, I don't want you in my life. And that was the end. But before I hung up, I said that did I love her more than anything, and I was gonna propose to her next year. I was gonna have all her family, and friends show up, and have Luke tape it. She said that now I was just trying to make her feel bad, but I wasn't. I was dead serious. I was going over the words in my head every night, in fact I was doing that last night. Because I thought we had a chance. My friends, her cousin, all went through this. They all succeeded in getting back with their girl. But that's not gonna happen for me.

Here's something that I have to say. Before I met her, I didn't believe in soulmates. I didn't believe that there's someone for everyone out there. That was until I met her. Then I believed we were truly ment to be together. So now, I don't believe in soul mates anymore. All I believe is that the most you can find is a mate.

As for me, I don't feel anymore pain. At least for now anyways. I know I'll be feeling it later. But for now, I feel like a new man. Well, sorry that was so long (Lavinco), but theres just some that I can't summarize.

[bulldawg_28]

Well it's past 4:00 am, I still can't get to sleep. It's amazing the turn of events that took place. I had our life almost planned out. I was gonna propose to her next year, we were gonna get married right out of college, then we were gonna stay in the town where we went to college, or move to arizona. We were gonna have a kid when I turned 27. Shit, I even had a name picked out. Now, well I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought there was a chance we could be together again because her cousin, and some of my friends went through this. I guess this shows how much of a dumbass I am.

[Geodogg]

i've been in a simillar situation. and i made the mistake of getting back with her and braking up with her many times. don't make the same mistake i did. trust me. get her out of your life for good. don't even be friends with her. get her completely out of your life. it'll hurt more then anyone can imagine, but eventually, it'll slowly go away and at the end you'll be glad you cut her off. you'll be happier then you think.
there is a lot i can tell you about your situation because i've been there. trust me. get rid of her. and i know it'll hurt. because many people told me the same. and even though i knew they were right and i knew it was what i should have done, my heart didn't want to listen. and in the end i ended up hurting myself way more/way longer.

and another thing. even if this girl wants to be fathfull to you, that dude want's her. i am sure of this.
in my case she was fathfull, but all the guy "friends" she had were only trying to get in her pants. and that made me very mad because even when i told her it bothered me, she would still hang out with them.

and don't listen to what she tells you. because i know i banged most of my good female friends (even a married one). i was very good friends with one of them for 5 years. and i mean real good friens. i never thought that something would happen. but it did.

there is no such thing as good friends between a guy and a girl without sex or something sexual. remember my words. i know a lot of people will disagree with me on this one, but i used to be one of them. my experiences have tought me otherwise.

i can give you more pointers too.
but the best thing for you to do for now is to keep you mind on other things. otherwise you'll be hurting the whole time.

[bulldawg_28]

Hey guys, I appreciate all the responses. I'm still enraged this morning. I got less than 4 hours of sleep, but I'm awake with rage. I still can't believe that this happened to me. I've seen other guys go nuts over girls, and I thought they were such douchebags for doing so. Now I look at myself, and I see that I'm one of them. When we first got together, her cheating ex called her telling her that what happened wasn't true, and some other shit. She hung up on him. I just thought to myself he's an idiot for trying to get back with her. Now who's the idiot? ME ME ME.

[USfighterFC]

Bro move on without her. She's a kid. She's still immature. You think it's bad now, just wait until she gets to college. There will be plenty more where that came from

[bulldawg_28]

The funny thing is bro, when we first got together two years ago she was the most mature, fun-loving, wonderful girl I've ever met. It's amazing how some people turn out when their freedom is expanded.

[Bryan2]

give yourself around 6 months and youll see things quite a bit differently about your former relathionship....

Itll get easier but itll take its time

[bulldawg_28]

Bryan, its been awhile. How you been? Thanks for the advice bro. The last time I kept up with AR you were having chest pains(I know that was long ago). You over that?

[bulldawg_28]

I found out something that I never wanted to believe. She lied to me. Last sunday before I broke it off with her, I tried making plans for us to hang out on saturday night. She said she would more than likely be too busy. Well, I got off work and I was driving by Casey's around 11:00 pm. There I saw her car, with a bunch of other people standing around. She lied to me.

[Bryan2]

Bryan, its been awhile. How you been? Thanks for the advice bro. The last time I kept up with AR you were having chest pains(I know that was long ago). You over that?

Yeah that was a while ago I remember I was cutting and popping ephedrine like crazy.

I quit on the epedrine and they went away.

Anyways sorry to hear about all the bullshit brotha

[F4iGuy]

My advice, comming off a 7yr. relationship where a similar thing occured:
1) Go out with your friends and party your ass off, even if you don't think you're that type of person. Its helps. I'm not a party guy but I'm starting to really enjoy it. You'll meet people who have been in your situation and things turned out great, even if it wasn't with that person.

2) Focus on other hobbies/interests. Try to keep her off your mind by putting your heart into other things, like bodybuilding. For me I started perfecting my routine and eating better. I've already got a six pack starting to show and I think this is going to be a great summer at the beach...

3) I know this sounds odd but try not to talk about it. Talking about it will only make you think about her. If you do feel the need to talk about it don't focus on getting her back. Think about her imperfections and all the times she pissed you off then go lift like a mad man!

[bulldawg_28]

Well here's the absolute end of it. I called Luke, and we made peace. She is very lucky to have Luke in her life. He told me that she is now happy. I told her that her happiness means more to me than my own, so now I am happy. They aren't together, and there was never anything going on. He also said that she still wants to be friends. So I went to where she worked and told her everything. I told her that Luke and I have made peace, and that she always have a place in my heart. I also said that now that she's happy, I'm happy for her too. I also apologized for putting her through hell. I was just acting selfishly. She said to me that she doesn't want to see me for awhile, which I completely understand.

So here's my advice for everyone here. Always trust that special someone in your life. Just because something may appear to be going on, it doesn't mean that something is. Never jump to conclusions until you know the facts for sure. I am now at peace with Luke, and I made peace with God. I hope to one day make piece with her. Any of you guys heard that song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks? Well, I believe that this is one of those moments.

[OSTIE]

Damn bro, thats rough.... glad to hear though that things are lookin better for ya though...

Its a fine line to walk when dealin with your gf's guyfriends... Im not a jealous person either to an extent, and I have no problem with my gf's goin out with friends, even guy friends because I assume they are mature enough to make the right decision....

HOWEVER, I think it was Bojangles who said it best in a past thread... You have to set boundries on what you think is acceptable... you cant just assume that she will know what those boundries are, if you just let her run amuck, she will either cheat on you cause she thinks you dont give a fck by not questioning her going out and gettin drunk with guys friends all the time or because she thinks its alright to go out with guys and get drunk and lose her ambitions...

You have to sit down with a girl and explain its not jealously, its just boundaries that you dont want her to cross and let her explain boundaries she would like you not to cross....

[bulldawg_28]

Yes OSTIE, you are right man. I should have set boundaries with her. I guess this is a learning experience. I appreciate your advice man.

But still, I'm feeling the same pain. I had a dream lastnight that we were working this out. My parents keep telling me to just move on. But the wonderful memories keep going through my head.

One last question. Do you guys think that I did the right thing by making peace with Luke, and trying to make piece with my ex? After talking to Luke, I honestly believe that nothing was going on, and nothing ever will. I felt that I had a great future with her in the palm of my hand, but I let it slip through my fingers. She never would have cheated on me, and I knew that. But I just didn't want to believe it.

[Bojangles69]

Alright, here goes....I've been with this girl for almost two years. For the first year, our relationship was amazing. We spend just about all of our free time together. Within 3 months I told her I loved her, and she felt the same way. August came around, I went to a university that was like an hour away, and she was finishing her last year in highschool. So our time together was limited to the weekends. But still I came home every weekend to spend time with her. I mean it literally, every single weekend. So no partying and very little socializing for me. But during the year, there was a change going on between the two of us.

At first, she called me everynight wondering about what I was doing. In fact, she was somewhat jealous that I could do whatever I want(her mom has always been very strict about what she does). But I didn't really do much outside of lifting, and eating. I did go out a few times, but never did much of anything. I'm really not much a partier. We had a couple of arguments about her being overly concerned, but nothing too bad happend. As for me, I never really hassled her about what she did. If she wanted to go out and drink with her friends, I was fine with that. I just expected her to be responsible.

This summer, we kinda changed rolls. The main reason why I changed took place on her senior prom. She has a guy friend, who she spends a lot of her time with. I was fine with this. But there were a couple of things that really pissed me off. For one, he wrote "I love you" on her car. He also wrote that on a couple of her possessions. But I swallowed my anger, and never said a word. I knew it would just start an argument. At prom, he was making more physical contact that I liked. He was picking her up, swinging her around, and some other shit. That really pissed me off. So I was a little uncomfortable about her hanging around with my girl, but that would start an argument. Because he was her friend. Another thing that pissed me off was that he got her smoking like a ****ing chimney again. Before that, she looked me straight in the eye and said that she wanted to quit smoking, and that she wanted me to help. So what do I do? I got on her about smoking with her guy friend. This led to more arguments. The just about every single day he kept on calling her asking what she was doing, and asked if she wanted to do something with him. So she began spending more time with him than with me.

I would try to make plans with her, but she'd always say that Luke (her guy friend) had already made plans with her. The stuff they did was working on his tractors, or picking up tires in some other town, or some stupid shit (or so I'm told). Well, I really didn't like this. I tried like hell to make plans with her, but she acted like she was obligated to do so. Then Luke would call her just about everyday, asking her to do something, and even though she was busy, she'd go and spend time with him. Talk about a total ****ing ego killer for me. The girl I love feels obligated to spend time with me. She was very busy, working part time, and taking two hard college classes this summer, which I understand. But she never acted like she could spare 2 hours a week to be with me.

Not too long ago her and one of her girlfriends went out to an abanded bridge and drank. I told her that was immature and irresponsible because there's a good chance a cop or some whacko would come by and hassle them. She took this as an insult, and we began fighting again. Later that night, a bunch of guys went out there and drank with them. That night she slept out in the middle of the road. Now that's ****ing smart.

So this eventually led to our break up. Suddenly, I didn't really see any love coming from her anymore. She was also spending more time with Luke than ever. We sat on a swing sweat, tears filled my eyes when I told her that maybe we shouldn't be together anymore.

Ever since then, I've talked with her and emailed her a couple of times. We're talking about getting back together. But she says she isn't sure what she wants. I broke up with her because she wasn't happy, and I was just not doing the job of making her happy anymore. The only time I saw her happy this summer was when she was with her friends, especially Luke.

I talked with her today, she said that her, Luke, and one of her girlfriends are going on a road trip. Something tells me something is going to happen, and I won't be able to be with her again. She told me that she would never date/do anything with Luke, but she's changed. So I really don't know what to expect to happen. I have a gut feeling he wants more than a friendship, and what better time to act on that.

As for myself, I'm an emotional train wreck. I've never shed so many tears in my life. She said I was like her second mother. Well I'm sorry for carrying about you, loving you, and wanting to spend time with you. Now Luke broke up with his girlfriend because he was spending so much time with mine.

Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest. If any of you guys have been in this situation, and have gotten through it, I would like to hear about it. Or if any of you guys have any advice at all I would appreciate it. I would also appreciate that the immature comments be kept at a minimum. I'm sorry for sounding like an a$$hole, it's just that I'm really not in the mood to hear them.

ouch, sometimes.. ok MOST of the time the hardest thing to do is to just let go.

if shes playing with your head you know what you need to do.
ive been in simlilar situations and im sure most heterosexual men have.
the problem is one side of you is sooo attached to the past and the control you had over her, and now all you may feel is like you failed and like you cant bare to spend the next 6 months obsessing about her and luke.
BUT never ever ever run after something thats pulling away, you only amplify your own insecurity and depression towards the relationship and make you feel more like a failure and incompetent sexual human-being.
when girls use to do this to me id try ANYTHING to figure out how to get them back, would start playing the best head games i could think of, id fantasize about it at night, plan out my redemption, even SEE us having a picture perfect relationship in the future.

but ill give you the only advice i wish i would have accepted for myself which was simple.. DROP THE EGO.

dont take a failed situation and it attribute it to who you are as a person
cause its the situation (matters out of your control) that is f_cked up.
you cant possibly make someone love you, they cant even do it. they just feel it or they dont. but if that love they once had for you through some shit started to corrode with other feelings than love, like incertitude, or a natural human need for variety, you CANT get hung up on that shit.

but history says many men will, but realize this is your history now. and in the future the only way it will be easier is if you have THIS history to learn from.

so things i suggest you do to keep YOU sane and healthy. be aware of your thoughts, dont sink into a hole. dont chase something that may be leading you over the edge of a cliff with a rope around your neck. more important is not to jump into a rebound relationship, but start socializing with OTHER woman, woman who you may find to be even more compatible with. realize its YOU not the GIRL who gifted you a wonderful (more or less) 2 year relationship and it is YOU who will take care of yourself in the future.

men have killed, mamed, raped, commited suicide, burned, and tortured in the name of love. they say every single one of Ted Bundies victims oddly resembled girls who rejected him in his adolescence. Just giving you an idea of how everything in your future and the way you feel will be dictated by the way you perceive whats happening now. what happening now is nothing more complicated then when leaves fall from trees in autumn or when hurricanes blast land in the summer. Its NATURE, its not you. Blaming yourself for a relationship gone wrong it like blaming yourself for a tornado killing your dog. Shit happens to everyone, but its not YOU. The sooner you realize this the better youll be and better will be your future relationships with other women.
Hope this helps.
~Rob

[TheNextBigThing]

One last question. Do you guys think that I did the right thing by making peace with Luke, and trying to make piece with my ex? After talking to Luke, I honestly believe that nothing was going on, and nothing ever will. I felt that I had a great future with her in the palm of my hand, but I let it slip through my fingers. She never would have cheated on me, and I knew that. But I just didn't want to believe it.

I think that question is realative and it all depends on how you feel now. I have been through this type of thing before and I personally think you handled the situation in a very mature manner. I would have confronted your girlfriend a long time ago about this Luke situation and then have made a decision. Beyond that, I like to let guys know that I am always watching them ect. when they are around my girlfriend and usually it works. Like I said before, as far as the making peace with this Luke guy, it was a very mature way to handle it because you never voiced any problem with him hanging out with your girl and appearently he did nothing. Even though he did nothing, I personally would have lost it when he called you back. I would have just told him that I don't understand things well over the phone and that he should tell me in person (you can imagine where things would go from there). I am not condoning doing anything to this guy, but I just know how I am and I would have never gotten any closure without hurting the people that hurt me (I don't know why, thats just the way I am).

[TheNextBigThing]

Sorry for the rant. LOL. The point I was trying to get across was that it doesn't matter what I or anyone else has to say. If you feel in your heart that you handled the situation in the right way. You did.

[BARLOW]

A guy cannot just be friends with a girl and spend lots of times with her, she may think they r just friends, but he's got a hidden agenda....**** that shit...**** that lil bastard....and shes not worth ur time, shes young, doesnt know wut the **** she wants...****kk it.

[Bojangles69]

A guy cannot just be friends with a girl and spend lots of times with her, she may think they r just friends, but he's got a hidden agenda....**** that shit...**** that lil bastard....and shes not worth ur time, shes young, doesnt know wut the **** she wants...****kk it.

soooo true, so true.

[Panzerfaust]

Two words for this whole mess:

**** that!

Stop wasting your time and emotions on this chick. Move on cause you don't have to be a scientist to figure out whats happening with her and Luke and god knows who else.

I would still talk to her and all just to hit it from time to time but other than that i would be out doing my thing.

[bulldawg_28]

I really don't know what to say except I thank all of you for the advice, and sharing your experiences. This board is great. I'm proud to say that I've been a member for almost three years. Even though I'm not well known, I'm proud to be apart of this board.

[Bojangles69]

I really don't know what to say except I thank all of you for the advice, and sharing your experiences. This board is great. I'm proud to say that I've been a member for almost three years. Even though I'm not well known, I'm proud to be apart of this board.

just remember bro, you'll be fine, you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders.

[bulldawg_28]

I thought I'd give an update. She called me a couple of times. She said she doesn't hate me, and she said that we can eventually be friends. But she's still uncomfortable talking, or seeing me. But finally, she admitted that she wronged me. Which made me feel a lot better.

Yesterday, I made another big mistake. I went out and bought her some flowers and left them on her bed. Yes, I'm a dumbshit for doing so. I didn't break in to her house if that's what you guys are thinking.

She called me up, bitched me out. Then I revealed that I found out more of her lies. But eventually we started talking with less rage. She said that she's a horrible person, and she started crying. I told her that she wasn't a horrible person. Even though it didn't work out between us, she changed me for the better. I used to walk around with my head down, I was very shy, and didn't think I was good enough for anybody. But she changed me, and now I have much more self confidence in myself. I also had changed her. She used to be a wild child. She use to sneak out and drink all night, then go to school with less than an hour of sleep. This cycle would continue for awhile, until she could take it no longer. But then, she met me. And she began concentrating more on school, work, and learned that she can love somebody.

[Timm1704]

you cannot change the way someone feels about you. its over, out and done and dusted. glad to see your not being a dick to her, but proposing in a year? WTF? anywho, it surely is killing you now, and will be for some time, but remember, and everyone here will agree, you WILL get over it, you WILL find someone else, and she wont be on your mind forever. in afew months you will enjoy being single most likely. dont think over too mcuh why this and that happened, bottom line is, you both grew up, and grew out of each other. its natural, happens all the time, dont give her a hard time for meeting someone else, that too, unfortunately, is natural, especially at her age. as far as luke goes, in my experience, im certain there is more than friendship going on. been through this exact same thing before, my first girlfriend, the only one i really loved, was hangin out with some fat, un-attractive lad, she insisted that they were just friends and she wasnt attracted to him in any way, started spening more time with him than me, and then lo and behold, wen we split up, she got with him

[bulldawg_28]

You're right man. I've finally excepted the fact that it's not ment to be. Oh yeah, the dealio about proposing to her. We were together for almost two years. That's the longest relationship for the both of us. Both of us, for awhile there thought that we found the one. So I decided that I would propose to her when we were both in college, and had the oppurtunity to spend more time with eachother.

Oh and your experience with your first love. That pretty much sums up what has been happening. Not to sound like an asshole, but Luke is not as attractive, nor as fit as I am. She said that she wasn't attracted to him in anyway, just like what you said. And she always spent more time with them. But do I think that they'll ever get together? I don't really care if they do or don't.

[Timm1704]

You're right man. I've finally excepted the fact that it's not ment to be. Oh yeah, the dealio about proposing to her. We were together for almost two years. That's the longest relationship for the both of us. Both of us, for awhile there thought that we found the one. So I decided that I would propose to her when we were both in college, and had the oppurtunity to spend more time with eachother.

Oh and your experience with your first love. That pretty much sums up what has been happening. Not to sound like an asshole, but Luke is not as attractive, nor as fit as I am. She said that she wasn't attracted to him in anyway, just like what you said. And she always spent more time with them. But do I think that they'll ever get together? I don't really care if they do or don't.

no i thought you meant you were gonna still propose to her in 2 years time, even though you had split up lol. good to see your keeping a straight head, i have seen some friends do some ****ed up things over girls. chin up, dude

[copenhagen]

i had the same EXACT thing happen to me bro, chances are it won't work out. she might swear to you that she will never date/do anything with that guy. that is just some bullshit cover story. Trust me bro you will get over her, just give it time. Hang out with friends and meet new chics. DO NOT sit in your room and think about/call/email her. chances are thats what she wants to do.

[bulldawg_28]

no i thought you meant you were gonna still propose to her in 2 years time, even though you had split up lol. good to see your keeping a straight head, i have seen some friends do some ****ed up things over girls. chin up, dude

LOL. Hell no dude.

Man, these past couple of weeks I've came close to doing something very stupid. But she's not worth losing my freedom, or my life.

Tonight, my dad and I went and saw Click. So how was it? Let's just say it could have been a lot better if this shit didn't happen. Just about every movie that Adam Sandler does has to be a love movie.

[copenhagen]

LOL. Hell no dude.

Man, these past couple of weeks I've came close to doing something very stupid. But she's not worth losing my freedom, or my life. Tonight, my dad and I went and saw Click. So how was it? Let's just say it could have been a lot better if this shit didn't happen. Just about every movie that Adam Sandler does has to be a love movie.

i hate to hear that bro, anything we can do to help man just let me know.