Recognizing the reality of depression

**Mike Dura** · 08-25-2006, 03:35 PM

I can't disagree with what you're saying here. But can you imagine this possibility: Is it possible that an optimist can come down with a bodily illness where he or she feels numb, self-loathing, and generally "out of it" - slowed down, for no apparent reason, irrespective of their optimistic nature. If you don't think this is possible, ask a psychiatrist if he or she can imagine such a thing.

Originally Posted by Phreak101

I minored in psyche which is all I can really say. The positive attitude is obviously not the key to the lock of depression, but it's not as if wallowing in why you have it will make it better.

Realistic is relative to what you feel it should be. When I was 16 I wanted to punch happy people in the face. I could not stand the idea that they could know how unhappy the world could be yet they always saw the bright side of things. Their reality was simply to SEE the bright side of things, they were mentally trained to do so.

The trick is to make optimism your reality. It's a hard thing to do, but I'd rather try and fail then not try at all...

**Mike Dura** · 08-25-2006, 03:37 PM

Ok, I saw that as I scrolled down (I get newer messages first).

She was empathizing with me because of the way that jackass above responded to my first post.[/QUOTE]

**Phreak101** · 08-25-2006, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

I can't disagree with what you're saying here. But can you imagine this possibility: Is it possible that an optimist can come down with a bodily illness where he or she feels numb, self-loathing, and generally "out of it" - slowed down, for no apparent reason, irrespective of their optimistic nature. If you don't think this is possible, ask a psychiatrist if he or she can imagine such a thing.

It's different for everyone man. I really have no place to tell you what to do, I just sympathize because I remember how much it sucked my ass.

I do think this is possible, and I don't know what causes it. I'm just a fighter by nature I guess, and even if I'm fighting myself, I refuse to quit until I get the results I want.

Mike, are you currently on any meds?

**Mike Dura** · 08-25-2006, 03:44 PM

Yeah, we're all different. We try to be "objective" about things but the truth will always remain: I can never directly experience your experience and you can never directly experience mine. We are invisible men. I'm a fighter too though and that's the attitude I take in dealing with depression. I'm on meds (lexipro) and it didn't take long to kick - lucky me.

Originally Posted by Phreak101

It's different for everyone man. I really have no place to tell you what to do, I just sympathize because I remember how much it sucked my ass.

I do think this is possible, and I don't know what causes it. I'm just a fighter by nature I guess, and even if I'm fighting myself, I refuse to quit until I get the results I want.

Mike, are you currently on any meds?

**Phreak101** · 08-25-2006, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

Yeah, we're all different. We try to be "objective" about things but the truth will always remain: I can never directly experience your experience and you can never directly experience mine. We are invisible men. I'm a fighter too though and that's the attitude I take in dealing with depression. I'm on meds (lexipro) and it didn't take long to kick - lucky me.

Awesome! Hopefully the lexipro will allow you to build some mental building blocks towards a happier life now that you don't have the depression bogging you down as much.

Seeing the forest for the trees so to speak.

**Mizfit** · 08-25-2006, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

What do you mean by this?

QUOTE=Mizfit]HUn - sometimes there is no point in rationalizing with someone - people can not understand things they can't accept

[/QUOTE]
this was meant for the guy that said depression is not real

**stunner5000pt** · 08-25-2006, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

Unless you've had it, you start to recognize depression is largely misunderstood. I think when people think about depression he or she tries to relate it to their experience of "having a fleeting bad mood" and just snapping out of it later in the day. Which amounts to a confirmation of their powers - the belief in "mind over matter." No doubt by me however, depression is real, incapacitating and qualitatively different than that fleeting bad mood. It's so overwhelming you have to retreat.

It's a funny thing when you try to explain to significant others that you need space or need to withdraw for a while they just don't seem to understand and your explanation isn't believed. It's like trying to explain snow to Jamaicans. You recognize that you truly are alone when you are depressed. It's quite a hole to be in.

You're concentration can become so impaired that you don't know what's going on around you and you start to feel defective. That's a very scary, very disorienting experience. I experienced this and this profound inexpressable experience of groundlessness or nothingness and it was a sobering, scary place to be. Luckily, I had some pharmaceuticals on hand in anticipation of that well known low test/low seratonin tendancy. Two days of Lexipro (I respond uncharacteristically fast to this medication) and I feel like I'm back in the game. Up to that point though, I had to talk my way through it - "this is temporary" I kept saying. "This is just low test and with it low seratonin and the meds will correct this....Just suck it up and give it a week." This reasoning got me through the funk and the deep desire to escape the pain. Wow!

this is you on PCT... this was me when i was NOT on anything...

that was the worst week ever

luckily certain shallow people helped me see the light

i can hardly wait for my PCD (post cycle depression)

**Spyder** · 08-25-2006, 05:15 PM

I dunno bout you guys, but i never get depressed post cycle, not much anyway. Even when i start losing some of the gains, i just feel a slight need to wear more clothes. The closet to being depressed, for me that is, is when i'm having family problems and such. After my last cycle, i lost nearly all the weight i gained after PCT, gained 15kg, lost 13kg even though i continued my training and dietary schedule( i think the Test C i used along side was heavily underdosed), never using Anadrol again

but 'Clinical Depression' is no way to describe the anger i felt, i just took it, never looked back because there will be more cycles to come.

**collar** · 08-25-2006, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

Unless you've had it, you start to recognize depression is largely misunderstood. I think when people think about depression he or she tries to relate it to their experience of "having a fleeting bad mood" and just snapping out of it later in the day. Which amounts to a confirmation of their powers - the belief in "mind over matter." No doubt by me however, depression is real, incapacitating and qualitatively different than that fleeting bad mood. It's so overwhelming you have to retreat.

It's a funny thing when you try to explain to significant others that you need space or need to withdraw for a while they just don't seem to understand and your explanation isn't believed. It's like trying to explain snow to Jamaicans. You recognize that you truly are alone when you are depressed. It's quite a hole to be in.

You're concentration can become so impaired that you don't know what's going on around you and you start to feel defective. That's a very scary, very disorienting experience. I experienced this and this profound inexpressable experience of groundlessness or nothingness and it was a sobering, scary place to be. Luckily, I had some pharmaceuticals on hand in anticipation of that well known low test/low seratonin tendancy. Two days of Lexipro (I respond uncharacteristically fast to this medication) and I feel like I'm back in the game. Up to that point though, I had to talk my way through it - "this is temporary" I kept saying. "This is just low test and with it low seratonin and the meds will correct this....Just suck it up and give it a week." This reasoning got me through the funk and the deep desire to escape the pain. Wow!

The things are improving>??
hopefully over time with the right help, you can feel better and happier person.

yes i have had depression it is terrible the worst feeling in the world, you explained it spot on..

good luck with bro.

**Mike Dura** · 08-26-2006, 01:19 PM

Things are improving with the lexipro. About a year ago a psychologist diagnosed me with "double depression" which is intermittent dystimia (a chronic low grade depression) and major depression. It was a major problem from 99-05 (I first got on meds in 05 and realized then that I should have been on meds much sooner). So, I'm vulnerable to depression and doing AAS is risky for me yet I choose to do it. So when I pay the price I understand that I'm at fault. Luckily, the meds kick in quick for me. The one thing that's interesting about the experience of depresssion is how much it alters the way you think. Things that were of value (e.g., a friendship or lifestyle) feel utterly meaningless and you don't care anymore. It's as if those things become empty and it all feels like bullshit. Now that's a hole.

Originally Posted by collar

The things are improving>??
hopefully over time with the right help, you can feel better and happier person.

yes i have had depression it is terrible the worst feeling in the world, you explained it spot on..

good luck with bro.