Breaking Point Rant !!

[SMAN12b]

I am at my breaking point! Same problems different day!
5 months without one drop of alcohol not even for fun
mother lying in bed dying and all i can do is watch
5 months of dieting
Working out 5 days a week without fail no matter what
WHY?
One more set? WHY
Pick up the heavier Dumbells. WHY
what difference does it make that I am not a lazy drunkin lard ass, she still picked HIM
what difference does it make that I am dedicated to taking care of my body and NOT afraid to work hard for things I want, she still picked HIM
Its my own fault for caring , for not givign up cause she has addictions
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME!
This is the second time I fell for her words of wanting a life with me only to her the phone ring again to tell me "I can't do it" Telling me to just forget her
Now I just want a drink to forget!!
THE BOTTLE:
the bottle will make me forget........
the bottle will get me through this endless nightmare of a day
the bottle will ease my heart just for one minutes peace.......
The problems will still be there in the morning
Then I will feel worse for giving in to that bottle

FVCK the bottle.....
I will do ONE MORE SET
I will lift the heavier dumbells.....
not for them.....not for you
But for me DAMMIT !!!!!!

[RuhlFreak55]

this is where you say **** you all.......and then you go have the best workout of your life.....let your anger fuel your workout grasshopper

[RuhlFreak55]

come to the dark side.......give in to your hatred.....it will make you powerful

[RA]

[DSM4Life]

Trust me i know about girl problems. Just broke up with my girl which in my eyes was the "perfect" women. I will tell you right now there is nothing that people are going to say that makes it feel better. The only thing that will change you is time. Most important, you cannot change a person. If it's meant to be she will come back to you. Just keep your head up and try and focus more on yourself. Don't do things for her , do them for yourself.

You want to talk more PM me. Tthe first week of my break up i was living on perks and miller lite, i almost just let myself slip away but have close ties with some family members which helped a lot. Good luck man.

[stunner5000pt]

some of my best workouts have been with me being depressed about life right before

[SMAN12b]

some of my best workouts have been with me being depressed about life right before

Todays workout sucked!! It was all I could do to get to the gym. 4 hours later than i usually go.

Just barely squeeked out a semi crappy workout but did go for the heavier dumbells and just ONE MORE SET!!

[RuhlFreak55]

good......and keep doing it.....just keep trucking, it's the only way to go

[dedic8ed1]

Yep there's no answer in the bottle that's for sure

[slob]

When I broke up with my gf I was feeling down in the dumps but instead of moping around I said to myself, 'wake up and stop being a bitch, get to the gym and punish the fvck out of those weights'.
I did just that and broke my personal best for pretty much every lift I did for the next few days.
Just take all that anger, dissapointment and pain and release it in the gym. Go wild.

[SMAN12b]

When I broke up with my gf I was feeling down in the dumps but instead of moping around I said to myself, 'wake up and stop being a bitch, get to the gym and punish the fvck out of those weights'.
I did just that and broke my personal best for pretty much every lift I did for the next few days.
Just take all that anger, dissapointment and pain and release it in the gym. Go wild.

Sometimes that works for me, but sometimes when it is this bad, it backfires and zapps all my life energy and i just want to crawl in a hole and die!!!

[DSM4Life]

Sometimes that works for me, but sometimes when it is this bad, it backfires and zapps all my life energy and i just want to crawl in a hole and die!!!

There's a big difference when you are angry (that works) compared to hurt/depressed (doesn't work).

[RuhlFreak55]

i turn hurt and depression into anger very quickly

[G-1000]

Hey bro you need to keep you cool. Ever thing will work out in the and. not ever day is a great day.

You know what give me that chicks ## i will cal her up and fix her ass.

[SMAN12b]

i turn hurt and depression into anger very quickly

Teach me great Obi Wan Kenobi, beat it into me like this...

[RuhlFreak55]

i dunno how i do it....i've always been an angry person......people hurt me and i just get meaner and meaner......i remember i'm better then them and how dare they try such a thing on someone as great as I

[SMAN12b]

Hey bro you need to keep you cool. Ever thing will work out in the and. not ever day is a great day.

You know what give me that chicks ## i will cal her up and fix her ass.

Here you go.... 1-800- F-ing Bitch It is the pot smoking boyfriend that needs whacked for me!!!!

[SMAN12b]

i dunno how i do it....i've always been an angry person......people hurt me and i just get meaner and meaner......i remember i'm better then them and how dare they try such a thing on someone as great as I

OK, that won't work for me. 23 years of martial arts have made me too damn humble!!! but thanks anyway...lolol

Having you guys here is a HUGE help THANKS

[Hackamaniac]

It will get easier and easier swan...Just hang in there and keep your head up..Most things happen for a reason..

[Hunter]

Keep your head up you have alot to be proud of

[SMAN12b]

Keep your head up you have alot to be proud of

Thanks, but being proud just doesn't seem to be enough when someone tells you that you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to them, and a blessing from GOD, but still goes back to the loser ex boyfriend cause she is afraid of the change. oh well.....i know....Her Lose !!! Maybe someday she will realize it

[Lucius Leftfoot]

i feel for ya bro. i wish there was something any of us could say to make ya feel better. but unfortunately, as stated earlier...only time will heal. until then, use your heartache as motivation...thats what i do.

[Lucius Leftfoot]

Thanks, but being proud just doesn't seem to be enough when someone tells you that you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to them, and a blessing from GOD, but still goes back to the loser ex boyfriend cause she is afraid of the change. oh well.....i know....Her Lose !!! Maybe someday she will realize it

if it was meant to be...you'll end up back with her.

[SMAN12b]

if it was meant to be...you'll end up back with her.

Sorry lucius, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't believe in that!!

Here is my view on that:
I believe in GOD and fate and destiny or whatever you want to call it, BUT I do not think FATE will do all the work for us, as I told her.

I believe Fate definetly brought us together with the way we met and hit it off right from the first glance, BUT I also believe that GOD (or whatever your word for it) did give us free will, so even though Fate brought our paths together, we have the free will to accept the gift or to let it go.....her choice right now is to let it go because she is afraid of it.
If she realizes this in time and I am still available , then maybe, but I don't think I could ever trust her after what she just did to me. Love her, yes, trust her NO So it seems doomed no matter what now

[SpartanStrength]

thats like a motivational poem

[Lucius Leftfoot]

Sorry lucius, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't believe in that!!

Here is my view on that:
I believe in GOD and fate and destiny or whatever you want to call it, BUT I do not think FATE will do all the work for us, as I told her.

I believe Fate definetly brought us together with the way we met and hit it off right from the first glance, BUT I also believe that GOD (or whatever your word for it) did give us free will, so even though Fate brought our paths together, we have the free will to accept the gift or to let it go.....her choice right now is to let it go because she is afraid of it.
If she realizes this in time and I am still available , then maybe, but I don't think I could ever trust her after what she just did to me. Love her, yes, trust her NO So it seems doomed no matter what now

well i don't share your views on fate and God's will, but i know how ya feel. i still love the dumb bitch that broke my heart almost 5 years ago.

[SMAN12b]

thats like a motivational poem

What is??

[Bojangles69]

I am at my breaking point! Same problems different day!
5 months without one drop of alcohol not even for fun
mother lying in bed dying and all i can do is watch

I read "stong ass dude who is in a lot pain because his mothers dying yet still has the strength to remain composed and not evade his problems with alcohol"

5 months of dieting
Working out 5 days a week without fail no matter what
WHY?
One more set? WHY
Pick up the heavier Dumbells. WHY

Why? You know damn well why, your negative mood is plaguing everything you do or think about doing. The way you feel about lifting right now is only an extension of the way you feel about the person in the next paragraph.

what difference does it make that I am not a lazy drunkin lard ass, she still picked HIM
what difference does it make that I am dedicated to taking care of my body and NOT afraid to work hard for things I want, she still picked HIM
Its my own fault for caring , for not givign up cause she has addictions
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME!
This is the second time I fell for her words of wanting a life with me only to her the phone ring again to tell me "I can't do it" Telling me to just forget her
Now I just want a drink to forget!!

Its NOT your fault for "caring"
It IS your fault for who you chose to care about.
Chalk it up to you not knowing when someone is beneath you and not in privelage of receiving adoration from someone who *cares about his health* compared to someonee who has *addictions*. the fact that you 2 shared different paths was only hidden by the fact that a lot of men will settle for a lot less than optimal situation because thier dicks tell them to.
If you could date and sex the next 10 beautiful women you see you wouldnt being having a single thought about this woman.

THE BOTTLE:
the bottle will make me forget........

till you wake up

the bottle will get me through this endless nightmare of a day

but not tommorow, unless you pick it up again.

the bottle will ease my heart just for one minutes peace.......

thats what by brother thought when his girl cheated on him than after he drank the bottle you "think" will ease your heart, he downed 2 bottles of tylenol and took a nice trip to the hospital to get his stomach pumped.
face the fact pain is enivetable, by choosing to go threw it directly you already show the pain your not scared of it and it goes away quicker, the longer you try to hide from it the longer it will taunt you.

The problems will still be there in the morning
Then I will feel worse for giving in to that bottle

Exactly, we all know anything worth while is worth waiting for. LIke the ability to be happy without someone who prob would have brought a lot more BS to your life than good. If you want to forget about someone quick just learn to associate them with negative memories or feelings. This is the opposite of the same exact way you fall in love with them. You'll also become smarter wondering how the hell you actually tolerated some of thier shit in the first place.

FVCK the bottle.....
I will do ONE MORE SET
I will lift the heavier dumbells.....
not for them.....not for you
But for me DAMMIT !!!!!!

See as fvcked up as you are you'll never leave off on a bad note, thats how truely successful people think, because they believe in themselves that much. Just give it a few months bro, things always change. Sometimes slower than we had hoped but all and all it wont even matter by then.

[SMAN12b]

thanks BO, I needed that !!!!!!!

[Bojangles69]

thanks BO, I needed that !!!!!!!

anytime bro.

[SMAN12b]

The bottle has been put away. Without one drop missing!
The first 48 hours are over
Anger starting to set in from the hurtful words she used

I have the power to make sure SHE never hurts me again!!

[Ufa]

The bottle has been put away. Without one drop missing!
The first 48 hours are over
Anger starting to set in from the hurtful words she used

I have the power to make sure SHE never hurts me again!!

SMAN you got so much going for you I bet thousands of people would
be happy to switch places with you. Stay positive.

[Bojangles69]

The bottle has been put away. Without one drop missing!
The first 48 hours are over
Anger starting to set in from the hurtful words she used

I have the power to make sure SHE never hurts me again!!

yeh sman im just curious about the specs on this girl. what was she exactly to you? i cant find where you said if you did..

And feel free to let your fellow ar brothers know more, like what happened? what words she used? anything, not sure if your being vague on purpose but always bros before ho's, men will always rival together for the persuit of logic, which is the one thing that will always seperate us from women

[taiboxa]

fuxin awswmoe post sman props for ur dedication

[guest589745]

Beat his ass in front of her then walk away laughing when she starts to cry.

That would make me feel great.


But if violence isnt your thing then just harness your aggresion and use it to your advantage in a less violent, yet still productive way.

[SMAN12b]

yeh sman im just curious about the specs on this girl. what was she exactly to you? i cant find where you said if you did..

And feel free to let your fellow ar brothers know more, like what happened? what words she used? anything, not sure if your being vague on purpose but always bros before ho's, men will always rival together for the persuit of logic, which is the one thing that will always seperate us from women

didn't want to get into too much of the background on it. BUT

We met by fate. Incredible connection from the start. One like I have NEVER felt and she felt it too. and we are old enough to know the difference I 41 twice divorced, she 43 twice divorced.
She has some addiction problems. Has a great job as a private nurse, but had a heroin habit.
When we met she had an on again off again relationship with a friend of 20 years who was the one to help her kick the heroin addiction so she feels she owes him. Problem is HE is a loser. No Job, no life, smokes pot daily, and doesn't treat her the greatest.

So we meet and its instant fireworks, but when HE finds out she is dating, HE begs for another chance to change and she feels guilty cause of all he was there through, so she tells me she has to give him ONE more chance.
In the meantime while he is mooching off her and living at her place, She can't take her mind off ME and HE knows it ! Her words were that I was a strong presence there . Even when I was gone. So I was romantic and would send her passionate letters in the mail and we chatted once or twice on line. One minute she tells me to forget her and move on and she just wants me to be happy, then the next minute she is telling me how much she loves my letters and really hates the thought of me dating or replacing her. In other words she really wants me waiting in the wings until she is strong enough to leave him.
So she finally kicks him out a week ago, and she doesn't tell me until tuesday night. I asked her to come over wednesday morning so we could talk. she agreed.
She came over and stayed for three hours even though HE was calling her and once again begging.
I was at the point of giving up on her because I felt maybe I was the only one that felt the connection I did, but when we were together on Wednesday, she confirmed all my thoughts that she too felt an incredible connection but she is afraid that we are too different since I have goals and a carrer, and she has the problems with addictions which now include HIM. So we spend three hours talking about the past month apart and how we both see a future together. She Promisses this is our time now to give US a chance and we were gonna spend the rest of the week together so she wouldnt' feel weak.
she told me she saw a life with ME, and a future with ME and being at my house felt like HOME to her and she had already had thoughts in her head of how she would decorate things and incorporate her stuff, and like she felt we had known each other for 22 years. In other words everything I have been waiting for her to say to me.
She felt she still had to tell HIM once and for all that they had to stop and she only wanted the friendship they had. so she went home. that night she called me and we spoke on the phone for 5 hours about EVERYTHING. Plans on how best to start our relationship, how we were gonna help her daughter (19) and just talked on and on like we have known each other forever.
She said that when she had left today, it felt like she had done so a million times and it was just like any other day where we hugged, kissed and said see ya later. said she didn't want to leave.
So thursday comes, she was gonna tell him and then come to me so he wouldnt' bother her. she knew I was nervous about her talking to him cause he would make her feel bad about it and she might give in again.
so at 5:30 she text me saying all was OK. then I get a phone call at 7pm with her crying saying she can't do it , and she cant' lose him and I have to stop trying, and let her go, and to stop sending letters or emails and NOT to come to the house. I tried to get her to see that it was just him doing this to her and I knew she really didnt' mean it, but then she used the words PFA which here means Protection From Abuse or a restraining order. I couldnt' believe that of all the drug dealers, and users she knows, that ME of all people she would even mention that word and threaten me with , so I finally gave in and told her "As you wish" and hung up the phone.

Part of me doesn't believe she meant any of it, but part of me heard the words and even though I know she has problems with addictions, I don't think I can put myself through this with her anymore. I sent one final letter telling her I deleted all her contact information and will NOT be contacting her again and that I hope when her head clears she will realize what he just destroyed with one phone call and hopefully will come to me when she is truly ready but I will NOT keep sending love letters to remind her anymore. By her choice not mine.

SO, that s about it. I don't know what the right thing to do is for her . I know I can't change her or fix her, but we were so close. I believe if she would have just come here and called him, then we would be together now and her withdrawl from him would have worked, but oh well........

I hope that maybe in a week or two, she will start to miss what she said she wanted, that is what hurts the most. I believed her when she said she wanted a life with me and couldn't see a future without me in it.

thanks for all the support and kind words! Any suggestions on what to do next is greatly appreciated

[Mizfit]

Here you go.... 1-800- F-ing Bitch It is the pot smoking boyfriend that needs whacked for me!!!!

Don't blame him, it is her - we are responsible for our own actions.

[SMAN12b]

Don't blame him, it is her - we are responsible for our own actions.

How did I know you would have all the answers....lolol Thanks !! I know it si HER choices, but she is weak from her addictions and doesn't think she deserves anything better than she already has so....who knows???......

[Bojangles69]

Welcome to the longest response of AR history…




I’m gonna come at this really abrasively, but I want you to understand I wouldn’t do anything or say anything I didn’t truly believe you could handle or even already knew but disillusioned yourself from seeing it.

I believe if I’m soft on you and sugarcoat shit it will leave you in a comfortable spot, however not ultimately solving a damn thing, and wont serve to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future. I can’t ignore the fact that a great deal of your problems are built on a foundation of ideals, which is precisely why they collapsed. Because it wasn’t real cement, I was more like play-dough.

didn't want to get into too much of the background on it. BUT
We met by fate. Incredible connection from the start. One like I have NEVER felt and she felt it too.

If you ran into a burning house to save a woman and she said you looked like the spitting image of her dead husband and you 2 proceeded to engage in durable life-long and satisfying relationship, that would be called FATE.
Because in the course of FATE you have an essential timeline that defined it to be so. Ie: AFter you've been with her for 10-15 years you can then say "it was fate". But even so it wouldnt be an accurate way of interpreting reality.
So in the future, choose the word “luck”, you met each other through LUCK. But even “luck” is a bad way of looking at it. The best way to interpret it is you met through a random prevalence.
People like words like “fate” because it mystifies the initial encounter, increase emotions, and satisfies a lot of people’s core idealizations of how loves suppose to be. A lot because that’s how society has brainwashed us through books and movies.

Now the “incredible connection”. You’ve already demonstrated this fate outlook which will add to the strength of a perceived connection between 2 people. We know if we think logically however LOVE did not account for the connection. So it was most likely a mix of lust, random prevalence, a few commonalities, and a emotions because the connection occurred in a high state of incertitude. Uncertainty always increases emotions. Which is why men tell each other to keep their woman on their toes. Again if there was any REAL connection besides lust and other factors, anything really bonding that existed, you 2 would no doubt be together right now.

and we are old enough to know the difference I 41 twice divorced, she 43 twice divorced.
She has some addiction problems. Has a great job as a private nurse, but had a heroin habit.

Successful in her career, struggling in her real life. A high degree of contradiction which indicates high potential lack of self-esteem. Red flag was thrown up, you chose to neglect it.

When we met she had an on again off again relationship with a friend of 20 years who was the one to help her kick the heroin addiction so she feels she owes him. Problem is HE is a loser. No Job, no life, smokes pot daily, and doesn't treat her the greatest.

Again more signs she’s not secure, secure woman don’t get involved in relationships outta obligation. Problem is attraction is not a choice. And you cant understand why she chose to be attracted to him. Simple, she DIDN’T. If she’s attracted to him she cant logically think her way out of those emotions. And the fact that he seems a little unstable probably fueled her attraction even more. Woman love guys who create EMOTION for them. It doesn’t always matter whether the emotions are good or bad. A swing of emotions makes people addicted to things, like gambling. The more intense and rapid the change from + to – emotions the more addictive. He may have been a loser but her was probably good at creating drama or emotional situations that kept her stuck on him.

So we meet and its instant fireworks, but when HE finds out she is dating, HE begs for another chance to change and she feels guilty cause of all he was there through, so she tells me she has to give him ONE more chance.

I said she was probably acting out of obligation before but now it becomes a pattern. “ONE MORE CHANCE” = she really still has feelings for him, she’s telling you “I owe it to him” to ease the blow on you instead of saying “I still love him but I want you to hang around and wait for me like a tool” even if she claims other words and tries reverse psychology like “maybe you should move on”.

In the meantime while he is mooching off her and living at her place, She can't take her mind off ME and HE knows it ! Her words were that I was a strong presence there . Even when I was gone. So I was romantic and would send her passionate letters in the mail and we chatted once or twice on line. One minute she tells me to forget her and move on and she just wants me to be happy, then the next minute she is telling me how much she loves my letters and really hates the thought of me dating or replacing her. In other words she really wants me waiting in the wings until she is strong enough to leave him.

She demonstrated to you she was hung up on 2 guys. You took advantage of the power of novelty to influence her (gifts, passionate letters, all the new things relationships are born on) However she has demonstrated thoroughly she is EXTREMELY confused, unsure of what she wants, and probably addicted to the DRAMA and EMOTIONS both of you are creating for her by your human game of tug-a-war.

So she finally kicks him out a week ago, and she doesn't tell me until tuesday night. I asked her to come over wednesday morning so we could talk. she agreed.
She came over and stayed for three hours even though HE was calling her and once again begging.

I was at the point of giving up on her because I felt maybe I was the only one that felt the connection I did, but when we were together on Wednesday, she confirmed all my thoughts that she too felt an incredible connection but she is afraid that we are too different since I have goals and a carrer, and she has the problems with addictions which now include HIM. So we spend three hours talking about the past month apart and how we both see a future together. She Promisses this is our time now to give US a chance and we were gonna spend the rest of the week together so she wouldnt' feel weak.

She’s communicating to you your basically a more stable person with goals but at the same time disqualifying you because you two are too *different*. I would have called her out on her BS right at that moment. “Well I can help you make up your mind… peace bitch, im out”. Watch how fvcking fast she comes running back. So its her, her pothead bf, and you a stable person with goals and drives who’s demonstrated your willing to tolerate a certain degree of BS from her now. She verbalizes she cant “feel strong by herself” its time for you guys to spend a week together. At this point your in way too deep. Shes keeping YOU on YOUR toes and not the other way around, your allowing her to set you up for disaster.
You haven’t laid down any rules or boundaries with her.
Your using her confusion to fuel your desire to seduce and conquer her (ignore the choice of words if its offensive)
This is a competition of the Venusians Arts.

she told me she saw a life with ME, and a future with ME and being at my house felt like HOME to her and she had already had thoughts in her head of how she would decorate things and incorporate her stuff, and like she felt we had known each other for 22 years. In other words everything I have been waiting for her to say to me.

At this point she exercises no concern over what she says to you or how it will affect you, shes working to feed and reinforce that *foundation of ideals* she helped create in the beginning, maybe because subconsciously she realizes it will collapse soon if she doesn’t.

But MORE THAN ANYTHING. Your with this woman for HOW LONG??!!
She’s talking about a “life with you” a “future with you” “your house feeling like HER fvcking home??!!!!!”. WTF?!?!?!
I would have kicked her psycho ass out at the second, or apologized for being so blatantly irresponsible and idealistic and leading her on.
YOU NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER start talking about your future with someone you haven’t even REALLY and TRULY even been with yet.
They say “love is blind” well that is true and doesn’t apply here but the quote “lust is blind” does. She pulled the wool over your eyes, you both pulled it over each others eyes.

I am not meaning to anger you, I’m saying take a REALISTIC look at all this shit. Take all your ideals and flush them out the fvcking toilet this second. They are killing you. Your with a confused ass chick who’s been with you for not even a week and shes feeding the shit out of YOUR ego because she doesn’t even have one.

She felt she still had to tell HIM once and for all that they had to stop and she only wanted the friendship they had. so she went home. that night she called me and we spoke on the phone for 5 hours about EVERYTHING. Plans on how best to start our relationship, how we were gonna help her daughter (19) and just talked on and on like we have known each other forever.

Same idealistic BS as above.

She said that when she had left today, it felt like she had done so a million times and it was just like any other day where we hugged, kissed and said see ya later. said she didn't want to leave.

I would have said “well… you have to, now get out” this whole ordeal just sounds so emotionally draining and serious that you guys don’t even joke with each other. Curious if she would have started crying had you said that. It’s a little test I use on secure girls called “sarcasm” the insecure ones cant handle it as simple as it is, the ones who laugh can stay.

So thursday comes, she was gonna tell him and then come to me so he wouldnt' bother her. she knew I was nervous about her talking to him cause he would make her feel bad about it and she might give in again.

She was nervous about HER talking to HIM because she didnt have faith in HERSELF and that idea that she really KNEW what SHE wanted.

so at 5:30 she text me saying all was OK. then I get a phone call at 7pm with her crying saying she can't do it , and she cant' lose him and I have to stop trying, and let her go, and to stop sending letters or emails and NOT to come to the house. I tried to get her to see that it was just him doing this to her and I knew she really didnt' mean it, but then she used the words PFA which here means Protection From Abuse or a restraining order. I couldnt' believe that of all the drug dealers, and users she knows, that ME of all people she would even mention that word and threaten me with , so I finally gave in and told her "As you wish" and hung up the phone.

Now you see the matrix, all this crap you’ve been telling yourself about this guy like “hes a pothead, hes a piece of shit, etc” YET she wants to be with him.
Why?
First understand it rarely has to do with who the *better person* is.
Because he may be a piece of shit to you, and maybe even her, but she’s responding to emotions she cant control. I’ll conclude at the end..

Part of me doesn't believe she meant any of it, but part of me heard the words and even though I know she has problems with addictions, I don't think I can put myself through this with her anymore. I sent one final letter telling her I deleted all her contact information and will NOT be contacting her again and that I hope when her head clears she will realize what he just destroyed with one phone call and hopefully will come to me when she is truly ready but I will NOT keep sending love letters to remind her anymore. By her choice not mine.

SO, that s about it. I don't know what the right thing to do is for her . I know I can't change her or fix her, but we were so close. I believe if she would have just come here and called him, then we would be together now and her withdrawl from him would have worked, but oh well........

I hope that maybe in a week or two, she will start to miss what she said she wanted, that is what hurts the most. I believed her when she said she wanted a life with me and couldn't see a future without me in it.

thanks for all the support and kind words! Any suggestions on what to do next is greatly appreciated

You say you don’t want to believe she meant any of it. Id be willing to submit she meant more than you expect she did because you are bitter to a degree right now and probably still highly idealistic about the situation like “what if she calls me and wants to persue something? What should I do?”


Understand woman are attracted to emotions. If you can learn how to manufacture not CONSISTENT emotions but INCONSISTENT emotions, you will become the male form of heroin.

This is hard for a lot of people to grasp.

When you give woman gifts and love letters, and than you hang out with her and unquestionably accept everything she says without dispute, like “she wants to be a part of your future” blah blah
You are poisoning the seed of attraction.

How often did you confront her?
Like when you guys talked on the phone for 5 hours and all these wonderful things about your future were brought up, who brought them up? Because I’ll tell you rule number one DO NOT discuss your future with a girl unless your on the minimum of a 10th date with her, and even so discuss only the immediate future like tomorrow. If she brings it up you instantly confront her be real with her, because its not realistic or mature to plan out your future with someone so novel in your life.
I’m trying to refine or clarify a few things that really bothered me.
Its comparable to a woman saying “I love you” after the 3rd or 4th date. In which I’ll respond something along the lines of “you’re an idiot”. How in the **** can you plan anything with someone you haven’t been with for a minimum of a few years? Or even tell you them you love them?
Even when your married to someone for 25 years you STILL don’t really know them like you think you do. All you know is what they choose to show you.
This is why the divorce rate in this country is so high. Because people don’t teach how to love in school, we learn it from movies, the media, and books. We learn it from our parents who read the same books, and watched the same movies, and read the same newspapers.
Its all idealistic bullshit.
And it often takes many people a lifetime of heartache and near suicide before they finally get a realistic grasp of what love really is.

I DID not intend to offend you, or ridicule you. I’m trying to help rid you of certain mindsets, notions and ideals many people have that are the poisonous roots of these flowering love spells that look like tulips and roses initially, than we soon realize they were really dandelions, these little fvcking weeds we chose not to pull out and now they devoured the garden and destroyed everything.

Just next time all I recommend is drop the ideals, and what naturally will happen when you do this is the next time you meet someone your gonna ask yourself “where the fvck is the connection or the spark?”
Its inside the both of you charging, when the static builds and true commonalities are established, it will fired off not as a little random static discharge from your rug to the doorknob, but a bolt of lighting straight between each others hearts.

I sincerely hope some of this helped, because I am a looser and just wasted 45 mins of my Saturday night typing the shit.

Much luck brotha.

~Bo

[SMAN12b]

I take absolutely NO offense to any of this and think it is a brilliant ovservation that I wish I wouuld have seen before hand.

I sincerely appreciate your time and effort and thought process with this response and will most definetly be reading it several times whenever I feel weak or depressed about the whole situation!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH !!