Ok soo situation with the Ex girlfriend, for those of you that know

**needmorestrength** · 10-15-2006, 02:25 PM

K basically I want her back... Yea she suffers from depression etc.. but anywayz.. she just texted me and said "I hope your doing ok"... well if we get back together it has to be her who works for it. so Should I reply.. or for a week or two should I totally ignore her?

**gixxerboy1** · 10-15-2006, 02:31 PM

I know most everyone is going to disagree with me. But yes call or text her back. Waiting weeks and all That tbs is just playing games and power moves. BS games and crap that usually cause more fights and drama. Just be honest with her you will be better off in the end. Good luck

**outofthebox** · 10-15-2006, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

K basically I want her back... Yea she suffers from depression etc.. but anywayz.. she just texted me and said "I hope your doing ok"... well if we get back together it has to be her who works for it. so Should I reply.. or for a week or two should I totally ignore her?

you know her better than any of us....and you know how much you care about her...you are probly best to make that decision on your own...i know if i loved a girl, i'd suck up the pride and do whatever it takes.

**notorious_mem** · 10-15-2006, 02:32 PM

me and my wifw suffered through her post partum deppression for a year.once she got on lexapro it was better than ever.the medication saved our marriage.

**spywizard** · 10-15-2006, 03:03 PM

"Im fine, are you in trouble??? do you need me to help??"

that's the text back..

my wife and i went through some issues when we were dating, basically i needed to be punished.. but you know how it is... i chased her for 1 year after the break up.. then i told her i had had enough, and it was time for me to move on..

1 day later she and i were together and have been since... that was 8 yrs ago..

***perfectbeast2001*** · 10-15-2006, 03:08 PM

My girl suffers from depression ect. We worked through it. Now it's great.

**needmorestrength** · 10-15-2006, 03:25 PM

****... so do I follow Spy's advice?? This is the girl I was willing to spend the rest of my life with

**PrairieDawg** · 10-15-2006, 03:42 PM

I was with a couple girls I wanted to spend the rest of my life with too. Now that I'm out of that situation and I look back on it they really would have ruined my life. The reason why people say wait is you're thinking with your heart and not your head right now. I took my last girlfriend back too many times and nothing ever changed. That was just her though. Maybe some people can work it out. I'd give it some time yet. If you two are mean't to be then a 2 month break or month break or whatever shouldn't make a difference. Talking to her everyday though while you're on break isn't going to change your feelings for her though I can tell you that.

**Tren Bull** · 10-15-2006, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

I know most everyone is going to disagree with me. But yes call or text her back. Waiting weeks and all That tbs is just playing games and power moves. BS games and crap that usually cause more fights and drama. Just be honest with her you will be better off in the end. Good luck

these are truly words of wisdom.

i wish more people had this kind of outlook on relationships

**PROTEINSHAKE** · 10-15-2006, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

****... so do I follow Spy's advice?? This is the girl I was willing to spend the rest of my life with

if you ARE(not was) still willing to spend your life with her then do as spywizard says.....

**needmorestrength** · 10-15-2006, 07:14 PM

So I replied to her.. asked her if she was ok.. she said she was just worrying about me.. I said im fine... Then she says "well I just want you know this isnt easy on me, and im not saying there's no hope"... I said "I know, I think we need the break but half of me thinks we are meant for each other ".. to which she replied "And maybe we are meant to be "... then I told her I had to study ( should be but im watchin family guy and drinkin a glass of wine lol).... so I dunno, think I am just going to stick to the laid back, dont care approach

**NightTrain** · 10-15-2006, 07:21 PM

good luck bro, and just take it slow..... if it was meant to be it will work its self out..... dont push anything... chin up

**mavsluva** · 10-15-2006, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

K basically I want her back... Yea she suffers from depression etc.. but anywayz.. she just texted me and said "I hope your doing ok"... well if we get back together it has to be her who works for it. so Should I reply.. or for a week or two should I totally ignore her?

I think you've already convinced yourself time and time again that this woman is in fact the one that you want to be with. If she wasn't, then you wouldn't be stressing about it so much and so often. Just speak from the heart and be a gentleman. Try not to place too much emphasis on what the statistics on this board would indicate as it's you that has to live in the future that you create for yourself.

**spywizard** · 10-15-2006, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

So I replied to her.. asked her if she was ok.. she said she was just worrying about me.. I said im fine... Then she says "well I just want you know this isnt easy on me, and im not saying there's no hope"... I said "I know, I think we need the break but half of me thinks we are meant for each other ".. to which she replied "And maybe we are meant to be "... then I told her I had to study ( should be but im watchin family guy and drinkin a glass of wine lol).... so I dunno, think I am just going to stick to the laid back, dont care approach

that aboy... and if she wants to meet, never seem like you have nothing else to do... be busy.. it's ok to say no...

"If a prisoner wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, and you are required to feed him, give him a peanut butter only sandwich.."

seems childish.. but it is what life is about..

**Mizfit** · 10-16-2006, 08:20 AM

What r u going to do to make things work differently than u were before. If nothing then let the sleeping dog lie. Yes she has to be changes as well but you can only change yourself and if your willing to do nuthing to change anything about u - then move on and live a life apart.

**gixxerboy1** · 10-16-2006, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by spywizard

that aboy... and if she wants to meet, never seem like you have nothing else to do... be busy.. it's ok to say no...

"If a prisoner wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, and you are required to feed him, give him a peanut butter only sandwich.."

seems childish.. but it is what life is about..

Thats what life seems to be about because we keep playing BS games. I used to do it also. I honestly believe thats why there are so many divorces and screwed up relationship. Evey one wants to believe they are in power. Act like you don't care so they care more. It is childish. If people were more honest they would be less drama and you would be better off. If your honest with a girl and tell her you want to be with her or back with her. If she doesn't like that or isn't interested because you aren't playing hard to get then she is worth your time anyway. If she really wants to be with you to it would require games to get her back

**needmorestrength** · 10-16-2006, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Thats what life seems to be about because we keep playing BS games. I used to do it also. I honestly believe thats why there are so many divorces and screwed up relationship. Evey one wants to believe they are in power. Act like you don't care so they care more. It is childish. If people were more honest they would be less drama and you would be better off. If your honest with a girl and tell her you want to be with her or back with her. If she doesn't like that or isn't interested because you aren't playing hard to get then she is worth your time anyway. If she really wants to be with you to it would require games to get her back

But unfortunatly that seems to be the way the game is played

**spywizard** · 10-16-2006, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Thats what life seems to be about because we keep playing BS games. I used to do it also. I honestly believe thats why there are so many divorces and screwed up relationship. Evey one wants to believe they are in power. Act like you don't care so they care more. It is childish. If people were more honest they would be less drama and you would be better off. If your honest with a girl and tell her you want to be with her or back with her. If she doesn't like that or isn't interested because you aren't playing hard to get then she is worth your time anyway. If she really wants to be with you to it would require games to get her back

I'm not saying to play games, this would imply that i was not being "real".. i believe that women want a man to take control, and be responsible for thier happiness, and at the same time responsible for her pain..

but hey, i'm about as old school as most will go.. and no i don't beat my wife..

**gixxerboy1** · 10-16-2006, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

But unfortunatly that seems to be the way the game is played

I agree with you. But if you are meant to be with her you shouldnt have to play games to get her. If she doesnt want you for the real you then screw her.

**Schmidty** · 10-16-2006, 04:23 PM

My girl and me both have bipolar and depression.You can only imagine the fights we have gotten in over nothing.

**AnabolicAndre** · 10-16-2006, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

I'm not saying to play games, this would imply that i was not being "real".. i believe that women want a man to take control, and be responsible for thier happiness, and at the same time responsible for her pain..

but hey, i'm about as old school as most will go.. and no i don't beat my wife..

My old man says "you're not a real man till you get drunk and beat her."

**taiboxa** · 10-16-2006, 08:30 PM

hey lil homeskillet ima tell u something, my ex wife had mad depression.. WORE ME OUT TREMENDOUSLY .. and it never gets better because it goes in cycles.. stay strong and stay away after a year or so my ex and i became best friends.. hope the same happens to u

**Bojangles69** · 10-16-2006, 08:38 PM

(initial post)
Im trying to find a read for ya bro.
Its too long to quote but it WILL help you a great deal in this situation, when specifically dealing with depressed women.
I wasted 20 mins last night looking for it. But im gonna go check my archives again now and see if i get lucky.

**needmorestrength** · 10-16-2006, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

hey lil homeskillet ima tell u something, my ex wife had mad depression.. WORE ME OUT TREMENDOUSLY .. and it never gets better because it goes in cycles.. stay strong and stay away after a year or so my ex and i became best friends.. hope the same happens to u

I want more then friends.. But I appreciate your input.. lil home fry

**Bojangles69** · 10-16-2006, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

hey lil homeskillet ima tell u something, my ex wife had mad depression.. WORE ME OUT TREMENDOUSLY .. and it never gets better because it goes in cycles.. stay strong and stay away after a year or so my ex and i became best friends.. hope the same happens to u

ahh wtf. didnt you say you've only been in 1 relationship before? now it looks like more.

**Bojangles69** · 10-16-2006, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

I want more then friends.. But I appreciate your input.. lil home fry

And who initiated the break btw, you or her?

**taiboxa** · 10-16-2006, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

ahh wtf. didnt you say you've only been in 1 relationship before? now it looks like more.

no u homo LOL
i said this was the WORST BREAK UP

**needmorestrength** · 10-16-2006, 09:46 PM

K sooo I was just getting ready for bed.. and this is the message she left me on msn
"Hi....Then she put the shamed face smiley.... then; R u in bed.....Then; Anywayz just wanted to wish you luck on your midterm tomorrow... Then; a

face and good night

**Mizfit** · 10-17-2006, 05:40 AM

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

You have to do what is best for you. Either you want to be with her oryou don't.. What you guys r doing right now is not good for either one of you.

**sofus99** · 10-17-2006, 06:44 AM

IMO it all very much depends on the circumstances of your breakup, and not least how your relationship was in the past. If you broke up over something not too serious, or especially if it was you who f****d up, I wouldn't hesitate about taking up the relationship again in the near future.

On the other hand, if you have a history of breaking up and getting back together, of if she acted in a non acceptable manner, although you may both want to be with each other again, don't let her think you'll come crawling every time she whistles, or she will end up taking you for granted and having no respect for you at all.

**Bruce000** · 10-17-2006, 07:19 AM

I've been married 4 eight years and the best thing Ive ever learned is that men always want to fix things. sometimes all they want is someone to talk to. So what i do is show huge interest in what she is saying and participate in her life, instead of saying things like "do you want me to go F**k yr Boss up." You have to learn to be her "Girl friend"

**triggersd** · 10-18-2006, 12:38 AM

just give it some time... but do let her know that u love her so she doesnt feel like she needs to get it somewhere else.

**Foskamink** · 10-18-2006, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

I know most everyone is going to disagree with me. But yes call or text her back. Waiting weeks and all That tbs is just playing games and power moves. BS games and crap that usually cause more fights and drama. Just be honest with her you will be better off in the end. Good luck

yeh i would text her back and tell her what ever on ur mind at the time, dont think just type. u know no idea of how ur going to try to come accross to her, just say what ever and ask her how she is

**needmorestrength** · 10-18-2006, 10:33 AM

this girl is Fin pissing me off.. Couldnt help but tell me shes going to a hockey game with her best guy friend ( hes a religious guy, big faggy no threat) , and then she got some tickets from another guy she used to work with for another game ( this guys happily married, religious as well)... The funny thing is she wouldnt tell me who she was going with or where she got the other tickets from, she wanted me to think it was some random guy.. I dunno.. You think at 24 years old she would be more mature