Confusing situation with a girl

**Spyder** · 01-05-2007, 02:21 AM

Okay usually i don't really have much of a problem understanding girls, girls my age anyway, but this situation is really confusing/bothering me, hope you guys can help. My buddies don't really have much to say about it either. The girl is 21 and i'm 22, we have everything in common and yes i am very attracted to her(i have told her), she also told me that she felt the same way. Infact when i told her, i said in the exact words "I really like u, i hope it's not too forward and i know you have very strict parents but i hope you feel the same way" then she said "Oh wow, why did it take you so long, and my parents don't really care who i date aslong as they are nice, and yes i feel the same way". She is very smart, good looking and has never had a boyfriend. We talk for hours and hours, conversation is so easy because we have so much in common and we cna hold a conversation for hours literally. I've never met a girl who i feel so attracted to and connected to, so i did what any man would do in such a situation(a few weeks later) and ask if she wants to start a relaitionship, (nothing serious just a girlfriend and boyfriend thing) and to my surprise she said "i don't know"(as far as i know, this means no). When i asked why, she simply said "i don't want to have to lie to my parents, they only let me me date guys of the same nationality". Okay fair enough, i already expected this as i am bosnian and she is albanian, and albanian families are usually like that. Why on earth would she do something like this, don't forget that a few weeks ago she said her parents are cool with it. I've never felt so much pain in my life, because it was so unexpected and i was so sure about it. For months after that i was depressed as hell, my motivation for everything just dissapeared, even lifting(i didnt think it was possible, ive been training since the age of 13). It's been about 5 months now, and i still can't make any sense of it, neither can anybody i know. It is killing me and i cannot move on, everytime i'm tlaking to another girl, i think of her, it's pretty much all i think about these days. Has anybody got any advice for me? What would you do in the situation?

**Hunter** · 01-05-2007, 02:26 AM

Well family is important and they should support your decisions. If she can not be adult enough to date who she choices and her parents look past race then your better off without her. I would go into my ideas deeper but is 2:36 in the morning. Good luck

**zodiac666** · 01-05-2007, 02:36 AM

how sure are you that her parents are really the reason, could she just be using that as an excuse?

**Spyder** · 01-05-2007, 02:40 AM

Originally Posted by zodiac666

how sure are you that her parents are really the reason, could she just be using that as an excuse?

I am not sure.

**Tru2** · 01-05-2007, 05:01 AM

If shes never had a boyfriend before, she may have become nervous and lost confidence?

have you spoken to her since? if not, then give her a call. don't put any pressure on, but do tell her that you have missed her. then keep it light and friendly and see how it goes. if she doesn't respond. then at least you can get past your confusion and move on.

**vitor** · 01-05-2007, 05:15 AM

I have an Albanien friend, and according to him, Albanien girls only date people from the same country as them, and they usally dont have boyfriends either b/f they decide to get married(with their parents approvol)...

Dont waste your time with them...

**vecchio82** · 01-05-2007, 06:13 AM

That's the truth...they take marriage seriously. I work in an Albanian country, either you are not together, or you are engaged, one or the other.

**Bigen12** · 01-05-2007, 06:26 AM

Originally Posted by mn_fighter

Well family is important and they should support your decisions. If she can not be adult enough to date who she choices and her parents look past race then your better off without her. Good luck

I agree,
What if you do get married, you wouldn't want her parents trying to make decisions for her, and if they have that much influence over her now, they will still have it when she is married.

Originally Posted by zodiac666

how sure are you that her parents are really the reason, could she just be using that as an excuse?

That's the other thought in my mind.

Give her some time, don't call her. If she wants to be with you she will contact you, if not then screw her and move on.

You don't want to be married to a whore, but a prude who is controlled by her parents can be even worse.

**Z12** · 01-05-2007, 07:54 AM

Don't let yourself fall for her too much - that's DANGEROUS! My gf is a different nationality than me, so I kindof know what your going through. Just don't let your life fall apart for a girl, you're too good for that!

**x_moe** · 01-05-2007, 08:06 AM

i know few albenian girls here in my city, damn they hot, they did date guys from different nationalities but never told their parents, at end theyr most likely gona get married to albenian guys, so never fall in love with someone u know ur not gona spent the rest of your life with

**Spyder** · 01-05-2007, 05:36 PM

Thanks for the input guys, very comforting. I have been talking to her for the past few months. We talk just like we always did, she still seems very interested. It's very strange. What i think could be happening here is, she wants a relationship but is afraid that her parents won't approve. I guess i need to find a way to get to know her parents, it's my only hope. If i still don't get anywhere, it will probably be easier to let her go.

**punk_bbuilder** · 01-05-2007, 05:38 PM

Great advice here bro..stick with that.

Originally Posted by Bigen12

I agree,
What if you do get married, you wouldn't want her parents trying to make decisions for her, and if they have that much influence over her now, they will still have it when she is married.

That's the other thought in my mind.

Give her some time, don't call her. If she wants to be with you she will contact you, if not then screw her and move on.

You don't want to be married to a whore, but a prude who is controlled by her parents can be even worse.

**Anastasia** · 01-05-2007, 06:28 PM

well for one thing if she really likes you,it wouldn't matter what her parents thinks. It seems like to me she's a Flake!

**gixxerboy1** · 01-05-2007, 08:10 PM

OK am i the only one that finds it weird that you are in your 20's and you actually asked if you would like to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Sounds like you both are a little immature

**kobiack** · 01-05-2007, 08:32 PM

i know how difficult this is. i dated an iraqi girl and her parents would freak out about me being white to the point they would beat her. she finally got out of her parents house but that wasn't easy either. they were so controlling. she didn't listen to it but it still put a big stress on the relationship. since then, if the parents are fanatics i run away. i don't care how beautiful she is. find a new girl. "make life a little easier"