Club....

**JayceonTaylor** · 01-13-2007, 06:21 PM

What up guys...

Im getting married in 6 months and my partner has a second job working at a nightclub behind the bar, she took it to put extra money towards the wedding.

Now from my standpoint i was cool with it, i thought it was good that she was going the extra mile to help pay for the wedding. i have never been to the club before, but on new years she was asked to work...so i said me and a few mates would come down and see the new year together then spend some time there. When i got there things started to get to me, on the dance floor people were selling and poppin X pills, doing coke etc... i thought to myself is this an atmosphere i want my future wife in?

it got worse...i was at the bar getting a drink and my fiance was serving somebody else, i could see guys were gauping at her, some guys were making comments about her...some along the lines of "if they were to pay her she would do this....that...etc..., basically talking about her like she was a tramp/ho, i went to the bar a few more times and this same thing kept happening....the comments got worse.

i told my fiance that she should put a different top on as her boobs were almost falling out. she did, but made out that i was acting jelous. I was like whatever and walked away.

It wasnt about being jelous, it was about hearing 20+ comments about the women you love and are about to commit the rest of my life to, like she was some kind of prostitute. those words ran deep and ill admit they hurt.

My fiance is beautiful and she does attract attention/looks which im cool with, because i know she is good looking, but those kind of comments well... in the past with x's ive got into fights about comments similar to this. But now think im the bigger man and can let it ride. So i discussed it with my fiance and her opinion was we need the money, and she said dont think i like it....

I dont agree, at all I work as a personal trainer and by taking on an extra hour a week i could earn what she does in 6hrs, to me its a no brainer, but she doesnt see it that way.

What do you guys think, i aint seen anything like it, x pill heads and coke heads everywhere, i now wonder about how safe she is working there too.

JT

**x_moe** · 01-13-2007, 06:31 PM

you know how guys are they like to comment even if the comments arnt true, plus you said theyr high on drugs, and about your gf having some of her boobs showing thats something most girls do for extra tips, maybe you need to relax a little, or maybe not since she doesnt want find a different job even after you told her how you feel about it, i dont know. just dont get married to someone you dont trust

**bigbouncinballs** · 01-13-2007, 06:50 PM

she likes the attention. and no amount of money is worth your self-respect. that being said, if she stays there, she likes the attention.

i worked at a big club in denver and i wouldn't trust any of em behind the bar. many of them were married. one or two engaged and a handful with boyfriends. every single one of em had somethin on the side or just relished the attention of scumfvck drunks droolin over em.

like X moe said, think about what that means when she says she needs the money and sticks with that particular job even when you're uncomfortable with it.

good luck
bbb

**LukeNY** · 01-13-2007, 06:53 PM

If my future wife asked me to leave a job, and had REAL reasons for why I should and why it bothered her, I would without thinking.

Theres lots of way to make money. Having drunk assholes make comments about her and staring at her is only one way to do it.

If it was my future wife, I wouldn't be comfortable with it either. A couple extra bucks isn't worth adding stress to a relationship (especially one that is probably stressful enough with all the wedding planning)

**gixxerboy1** · 01-13-2007, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by bigbouncinballs

she likes the attention. and no amount of money is worth your self-respect. that being said, if she stays there, she likes the attention.
i worked at a big club in denver and i wouldn't trust any of em behind the bar. many of them were married. one or two engaged and a handful with boyfriends. every single one of em had somethin on the side or just relished the attention of scumfvck drunks droolin over em.

like X moe said, think about what that means when she says she needs the money and sticks with that particular job even when you're uncomfortable with it.

good luck
bbb

Who doesn't like attention from the opposite sex. And just because you she dresses a little sexy doesn't mean you have no self respect. She isn't doing anything wrong. You are way to controlling trying to make her quit. And yes the comments would bother me also but you need to live with it.

**StoneGRMI** · 01-13-2007, 07:13 PM

jk

**Snrf** · 01-13-2007, 07:17 PM

what gixxerboy said

**Carlos_E** · 01-13-2007, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Who doesn't like attention from the opposite sex. And just because you she dresses a little sexy doesn't mean you have no self respect. She isn't doing anything wrong. You are way to controlling trying to make her quit. And yes the comments would bother me also but you need to live with it.

We agree... for once.

If she is flirting with the guys that's a different story. But if she is just doing her job you can't fault her. She can't control what others say.

The bottom line is trust. Do you trust her to handle herself appropriately or do you think she will cheat on you? if you don't trust her, you should not get married.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-13-2007, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

We agree... for once.

.

I know it was cold the last couple days but hell didnt freeze over did it?

**Carlos_E** · 01-13-2007, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

but hell didnt freeze over did it?

Apparently it did.

**JayceonTaylor** · 01-13-2007, 07:57 PM

Thanks for the input,

I agree with most, maybe i should relax a little. I just think there are more options and why put yourself in that type of environment, she was working in a nice bar, but was getting paid a little less than now so decided to quit and move to the club. One of my ex's got raped coming away at 4am from working in a club and that cut me up, she was never the same again and one of the reasons we split. i couldnt have anything like that happen again.

im not trying to control her, i havent told her she has to quit, i just portrayed my point of view and said it was upto her. jelousy aint an issue, but comments on those lines made red mist descend.

Maybe trust comes into it, i think she trusts me wholeheartedly and she has reason too, as a personal trainer i work with some girls and she's fine with that, ive even turned clients away who have made advances. I only have eyes and love for 3 women....

my fiance, mum and gran

**MuscleScience** · 01-13-2007, 08:16 PM

Get her the f^ck out of there. Thats no place for a wife, dont care what anyone says.

**JayceonTaylor** · 01-13-2007, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by MuscleScience

Get her the f^ck out of there. Thats no place for a wife, dont care what anyone says.

i feel what you say, with a 5yr old at home aswell. a female perspective would be good. All i know if anything does happen on any level, i dont know how i would react. When my sister was getting hassled by a guy i put that one in hospital, id probably kill the guy who;s tries it with my wife

**chest6** · 01-13-2007, 08:49 PM

Having my future wife work in a club..I'd have a hard time accepting that..then again I tend to get pretty jealous etc

**Timm1704** · 01-13-2007, 09:11 PM

i work at a club, and my girl works behind the bar, and often walks around selling shots to people. she gets oggled, asked if she will let them feel her breasts (they are all big and squidgy and warm teehee) and some likely grab her ass. if i saw someone do it, it would most likely piss me off, but she has more reason to be concerned with what im doing, as i must admit i love the attention i get, and some nights i get so much that i cant hide it from her, as she sees women talking to me, standing around me for ages, even after ive told them my girl works behind the bar. some even follow me around lol. the way we play it: we trust each other, and we always leave together. she knows i look at women when im working, she knows they look at me, and i know she looks at men (even though she insists that she never does, ever ever ever, but yeah right, its natural) and i know they make advances at her all the time (numbers, dates, sex lol), dont sweat it. now as far as the pills and coke on the dance-floor, does this club she works in have security?

my other point is: if a girlfriend that i was with who i cared alot for (assuming as she is your fiance, that you couldnt care for her much more than you already do anyway right?) was working a job on the side that i really didnt like her doing, and i told her how i felt, and she brushed it off and kept on working there, id be seriously fuming. if it was her career then id have to look at it differently

**bigbouncinballs** · 01-13-2007, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by Timm1704

i work at a club, and my girl works behind the bar, and often walks around selling shots to people. she gets oggled, asked if she will let them feel her breasts (they are all big and squidgy and warm teehee) and some likely grab her ass. if i saw someone do it, it would most likely piss me off, but she has more reason to be concerned with what im doing, as i must admit i love the attention i get, and some nights i get so much that i cant hide it from her, as she sees women talking to me, standing around me for ages, even after ive told them my girl works behind the bar. some even follow me around lol. the way we play it: we trust each other, and we always leave together. she knows i look at women when im working, she knows they look at me, and i know she looks at men (even though she insists that she never does, ever ever ever, but yeah right, its natural) and i know they make advances at her all the time (numbers, dates, sex lol), dont sweat it. now as far as the pills and coke on the dance-floor, does this club she works in have security?

my other point is: if a girlfriend that i was with who i cared alot for (assuming as she is your fiance, that you couldnt care for her much more than you already do anyway right?) was working a job on the side that i really didnt like her doing, and i told her how i felt, and she brushed it off and kept on working there, id be seriously fuming. if it was her career then id have to look at it differently

yeah, thats not sittin very well here either...

**MuscleScience** · 01-13-2007, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by JayceonTaylor

i feel what you say, with a 5yr old at home aswell. a female perspective would be good. All i know if anything does happen on any level, i dont know how i would react. When my sister was getting hassled by a guy i put that one in hospital, id probably kill the guy who;s tries it with my wife

yeah i have a little sister too, I told the guy that she is dating simple that If he beats, cheats or mistreats her that I already have a shovel and a spot on my families thousand acre farm picked out for him. Its another story if they break up thats ok but if he f6cks her over, heaven help him.

**JayceonTaylor** · 01-14-2007, 05:39 AM

Dont know what to say, but she came home drunk from working, she drove the 30min drive back from work. When she got in she denied that she had been drinking, yet was struggling to stand straight....

I think drink driving is fuc4ed up as it is, but we have a 5yr old at home, if she lost her license our world would tip upside down...make things a million times more difficult. She has done it 2 maybe 3 times in the past year + tonight, i had a go those times, Im at a loss right now, going to church time to do some thinking.

***perfectbeast2001*** · 01-14-2007, 05:56 AM

the drink driving is just totally wrong. However the rest of it i dont see a problem with. You should be flattered that guys think your wife is hot. And as for ppl doing rec drugs, so what, they are hardly likely to force some onto your wife, they will want to take it all themselves!!
Sort out the drink driving and tolerate the rest.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-14-2007, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

the drink driving is just totally wrong. However the rest of it i dont see a problem with. You should be flattered that guys think your wife is hot. And as for ppl doing rec drugs, so what, they are hardly likely to force some onto your wife, they will want to take it all themselves!!
Sort out the drink driving and tolerate the rest.

i agree man. It does seem like your being to much. The drinking and driving i completely agree with.

Hold old is your fiance btw

**BigLittleTim** · 01-14-2007, 04:40 PM

My experience has been that people who work in bars are usually consumate professionals. The bartenders, waitresses, discaires, security, doormen, etc. are interested in making money and seeing to it that the night comes off without incident. People who are into drugs, dick, & drama get weeded out pretty fast by management.

"The bartender likes me!", you say. No... the bartender is smiling and pretending to like you because that's her job and she wants big tips so she can pay for college tuition; her kid's braces; a wedding; a boob job; whatever.

Drunk driving is another thing entirely. When you work in a bar you NEVER drink while on duty. That's true for security, waitstaff... anyone. You have your "shift drink", maybe, at the end of the night, but you're usually so knackered after breaking down the bar and counting out your cash drawer that you just hoof it for home. Does the staff go to an after-hours club at the end of the night? THAT's where the lines start to blur between club workers and the tweakers on the dance floor.

-BigLittletim