im so confused / dishearted

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-05-2007, 11:19 PM

nope

**MuscleScience** · 03-05-2007, 11:26 PM

F^ck the Nay say'iers

**UpstateTank** · 03-05-2007, 11:32 PM

Originally Posted by MuscleScience

F^ck the Nay say'iers

+1

Ive been in similar situations bro...Ive just learned to accept they will never understand why we do what we do (and at the same time ive also accepted the fact i am better than they will ever be, and they will never put in a tenth of the dedication we put day in and day out for nething in their entire life

) Ive found lashing back isnt the best way to handle the situation, but i have found simply agreeing with them i.e. "yupp you're right im ghey for dieting and training" or "yupp im a loser for not going out tonight cause i have to get up early to do cardio" etc etc. It seems to shut em up quick

The "im better than you part" is what really pulls me through sitations like that...i kno its very egotistical and bigheaded, but at the same time its true! I just call it like it is

**jbarkley** · 03-06-2007, 12:03 AM

It's pretty strange that these people with no goals and no focus have the ability to make you feel like shit....have you ever heard about crabs in a pot, if one tries to climb out the other crabs will pull them back down. People are not so different, misery loves company. These losers don't want you to be successful, it magnifies their inability to achieve. Just keep on your chosen path and realize you have a greater future than these guys can dream of.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-06-2007, 12:21 AM

nope

**thegodfather** · 03-06-2007, 01:21 AM

Its funny that you bring up this thread, as I've had similar situations happen in work...One guy who sits at the desk behind me saw me eating tuna, and asked if I lift or whatever, so that sparked a conversation within my team (we work in sales teams). One quote from him was great "Wow, you can lift something up and put it back down again," and the second one "Thats terrible for your joints and is just assuring you a life of early arthritis.."

So this got me thinking, it's coming from a guy who is 5'11 and about 250lbs at about 30% bodyfat. The dudes just a fat slob. So I'd rather have my arthritis than ****ing heart disease or diabetes. Of course I didnt say anything just kept eating my meal and sort of laughed at him...

But then a comment from the girl next to me set me off...Like clockwork as soon as our break is about to start she gets out her smokes&lighter...She said something to me about the food I eat being disgusting or something smart about working out...So now everyday 1 minute before our break starts I go "Yo....its cancer time isnt it?"..and she gets pissed...

I find the fact that these unhealthy shits who eat a bag of doritos at their desk have any nerve to say something to me because the food I eat isnt processed garbage, and because instead of leaving work and going right to the bar to waste $50 putting poison in my body, I goto the gym and improve my physique....Its not disheartening for me bro, its encouraging. All you need to do is observe people in their unhealthy out of shape state and KNOW that you are following a better course than they are..I dont think you need to say a word to them, and certainly dont need to get discouraged...

If I've noticed one thing about people, when they find out how into fitness you are or how dedicated to diet, they HAVE to make some sort of comment to make themselves feel better.. Such as "I dont need any a those weights or tuna here, just a 6 pack of beer thats what makes me man.." or some other ridiculous ****ing comment like that..

**auslifta** · 03-06-2007, 01:41 AM

your friend at the tyre shop is just ashamed he doesnt have a passion or the dedication to achieve any goals in life, these people hate challenges in their life.i mean its real easy to go to the pub and drink,eat crap, and put people down.its his way of dealing with being insecure, and inferior to another person. these people usulally hang around like minded people so they dont have to compete to be better than someone else,its not a bad thing to want to be better than some one else.

**mavsluva** · 03-06-2007, 08:43 AM

Being the bigger man, or the better person in your case, often requires you to see through the opposition in order to continue your journey. Because at the end of the day, you make the bed that you have to sleep in based upon your choices. I, for one, like a comfortable bed so I allow myself to make the very best choices so I can ensure a comfortable sleep. It's very unfortunately that so many people tend to exert so much time and energy on other people and their problems that we often jeopardize our own personal choices. You must keep in mind that you're the only one sleeping in your bed. Not them.

But if you really feel the need to communicate your concerns to these individuals, just tell them that you respect them and their lifestyles and you wish that they would do the same for you. I think they like the fact that it bothers you, because to be honest, they see your dedication and it makes them a bit envious.

Just remember that when your life comes to a close on this side of the grave, you will not be remembered according to your lifestyle or your physique. No. You will be remember by the contents of your heart.

Good luck!

**MFT81** · 03-06-2007, 09:18 AM

Man, this guy at work is a fu**** loser. For whatever reason he's under your skin. You wont be at discount tire for the rest of your life, he probably will.

**gixxerboy1** · 03-06-2007, 09:20 AM

I agree that they shouldn't be putting you down. But your not a better person and high and mighty because you work out and are dedicated.
That doesn't make you a better person or more successful in life. It working out. You guys take this way to serious sometimes.

**QuieTSToRM33** · 03-06-2007, 09:55 AM

Tell them to fvck off ... man up and stand up for yourself

***JDMSilviaSpecR*** · 03-06-2007, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

I agree that they shouldn't be putting you down. But your not a better person and high and mighty because you work out and are dedicated.
That doesn't make you a better person or more successful in life. It working out. You guys take this way to serious sometimes.

He is a bigger and better person in this scenario. He's the guy who's leading a healthy lifestyle, lifting weights, eating a healthy diet, while the negative naysayers are talking sh*t, trying to put him down (which is obviously their way of lashing out their immense insecurities)

My advice is to do your best to ignore these losers. They won't quit hastling you until you feed them your attention.

**BITTAPART2** · 03-06-2007, 12:02 PM

dude i talked much trash to people who worked out when i was a jealouse little weakling all the while wanting to become one of them. now i laugh at the weaklings that do what i did b/c i know they are haters. keep your chin up bro you do somehting that a minority of people do so take pride in it.

**gixxerboy1** · 03-06-2007, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by JDMSilviaSpecR

He is a bigger and better person in this scenario. He's the guy who's leading a healthy lifestyle, lifting weights, eating a healthy diet, while the negative naysayers are talking sh*t, trying to put him down (which is obviously their way of lashing out their immense insecurities)

My advice is to do your best to ignore these losers. They won't quit hastling you until you feed them your attention.

Yes he is better then this particular guy. But his first paragraph he goes on how the bigger guys is the better guy.

Going to the gym isn't a great accomplishment in life. Healthy lifestyle. I'm not so sure how healthy it really is to carry an extra 50lbs of weight even if it is muscle

**king6** · 03-06-2007, 01:06 PM

I think when you scratch away the surface of it all, it all comes down to jealousy.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-06-2007, 01:07 PM

nope

**Polska** · 03-06-2007, 01:22 PM

jealousy is all it is dude. do you think he wouldn't want your body if given the chance? girls get catty, and dudes get competitive. He's trying to put you down to feel better about himself because it obviously bothers him that he's not as good as you. He can feel jealousy and on a subconscious level it reminds him of his insecurities. The best way to deal with these guys is to not deal with them at all. Don't ignore him, but don't show that it's getting to you. Flip it around on him, always have a smile on your face, and go along your merry way. What he says doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I know it's hard to not take personally when people make personal attacks, but you gotta learn to let that shit roll off your back.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-06-2007, 01:47 PM

nope

**Bojangles69** · 03-06-2007, 02:01 PM

I couldnt read the thread because Im kinda in a rush, but it seems like your having a mild existential crisis.
Its fine, just understand it will pass and things all ways have a weird way of working themselves out in the end.

**Mike Dura** · 03-06-2007, 02:12 PM

I got good news for you. You don't have to defend your lifestyle. You say that these people keep picking on you because (you think) of your lifestyle....maybe they are picking on you because they see that you're hypersensitive and vulnerable. You keep making references to them as being "little girly men (i.e., out of shape, too small, beer guts ) which comes across as you defining yourself by contrast to them....this seems a little narciccistic and with narcissism there's always a narcissistic vulnerability. So don't let people see that you're vulnerable to their attacks or they will continue to play on your head.

If you're really the "bigger man" then act like the bigger man and don't let petty stuff even phase you. If you act vulnerable people are just going to play with you (as they have). If you feel as haunted as this post suggests, maybe it would be a good idea to see a therapist to get your priorities and your identity straight.

When someone seems to be attacking your lifestyle say, it sounds like you think that me eating six times daily is obsessive and wasteful. I appreciate your feedback. Then talk about the weather. "it's a cold one out today isn't it? When spring going to get here?

A little bit of skill can go a long way. I get negative feedback for no reason sometimes. I remember standing on line at a beach for a hamburger and a group of people turned around and laughed at me. I can interpret their laughs to mean many things but the bottom line is....who gives a shit. Maybe they are assuming I think I'm the shit or that I'm walking around like a peacock. But that's their interpretation. Or when these three woman said, "look at that guy all steroided up with the attitude." What attitude? I'm just doing treadmill - how can I be having an attitude? Don't worry about how people interpret you...it doesn't change anything whether a person sees you or think they see "through you." It's all good bro just thicken the skin.

[QUOTE=ph34rsh4ck]

I have no idea how to defend what i enjoy/love.

**mavsluva** · 03-06-2007, 02:41 PM

I'm reminded of a Bobby Knight quote that he delivered shortly after being fired by Indiana University that could pertain to this scenario:

"When I die, I want they to bury me face down so all of my critics can kiss my a**."

Greatness.

**Shane35aa** · 03-06-2007, 03:16 PM

Hey man screw him..tell him he's pathetic and he should be nicer to people cause the way he's going he's gonna die before they do. Ask him how he'll feel when all those people he made fun of are at his funeral saying what a dumbass he was.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-06-2007, 03:26 PM

nope

**Mike Dura** · 03-07-2007, 03:27 PM

oh, ok. Yeah, people in everyday life can be petty and it can be a challenge to cope with that. I still think you can adapt to it and not get pulled into the bullshit.

It's really about diversion and keeping face and that's a skill. When a person is antagonizing or just trying to "get your goat" you're put into a position where you have to have self-restraint and just deal with it as constructively as possible hopefully without stooping to their level. No matter how petty or ridiculous a situation you find yourself in, you can always choose to be the bigger man but the bigger man must first master his emotions. With self-mastery you are less likely to be pulled off-center.

I can empathize with what you said though. I've seen people act negative simply because of the way I look and it's surprising. On other occasions though, you're treated like your something special and that can be just as unsettling. Either way, I think people (myself included) just have to learn self-mastery and till this day I'm still improving in this area. You can't completely control other people's behavior but you can always have self-control.

Originally Posted by ph34rsh4ck

Im not "haunted" by all this, i dont need to see a therapist....i was just pointing out the fact that in the 4 years that ive been working out, never have i once dealt with something like this, like i said 99.9% of anything anyone says to me rolls off my back like water, it takes alot to piss me off, and i guess its hard to put the scenario into words on a computer screen and make u see what happend since u werent there, but i gauruntee it was unlike anything anyone has probably ever said to you, and i gauruntee if you were standing 5 ft from the person who was sayin this to you you probably wouldn be able to just be like oh, aight, lets talk about weather now, thats now how ppl work, u cant just change the subject on ppl like this, you cant just say yea your right lets move on, cause they sit there and pick and pick, im not HAUNTED from this experience im not comin home and slitting my wrists, im just noting the fact that in my 4 years of training i have never once dealt with this / it caught me off gaurd and completely by surprise / and it ended up getting on my last nerve and was almost overwhelming, and it dented my moral for about an hour or two, but after an hour or so i was fine, i just wanted to get it off my shoulders / put a post out there to see if anyone else has dealt with this, what i consider, is a PHENOMENON, i have experienced it, learned from it, and now im moving on

**Mike Dura** · 03-07-2007, 03:43 PM

I appologise if I rubbed you the wrong way. I do that sometimes.

Originally Posted by ph34rsh4ck

Im not "haunted" by all this, i dont need to see a therapist....i was just pointing out the fact that in the 4 years that ive been working out, never have i once dealt with something like this, like i said 99.9% of anything anyone says to me rolls off my back like water, it takes alot to piss me off, and i guess its hard to put the scenario into words on a computer screen and make u see what happend since u werent there, but i gauruntee it was unlike anything anyone has probably ever said to you, and i gauruntee if you were standing 5 ft from the person who was sayin this to you you probably wouldn be able to just be like oh, aight, lets talk about weather now, thats now how ppl work, u cant just change the subject on ppl like this, you cant just say yea your right lets move on, cause they sit there and pick and pick, im not HAUNTED from this experience im not comin home and slitting my wrists, im just noting the fact that in my 4 years of training i have never once dealt with this / it caught me off gaurd and completely by surprise / and it ended up getting on my last nerve and was almost overwhelming, and it dented my moral for about an hour or two, but after an hour or so i was fine, i just wanted to get it off my shoulders / put a post out there to see if anyone else has dealt with this, what i consider, is a PHENOMENON, i have experienced it, learned from it, and now im moving on

**Panzerfaust** · 03-07-2007, 07:33 PM

I say we ban your sorry ass for not standing up for yourself.

Goddamn son, is someone form the board gonna have to do it for you?

You know a little talk is ok but you let them cross the line and have set no boundaries. I would have thrown his scrawny ass across the room. Actually, i would not have had to simply because i would not have let it get that far.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-07-2007, 09:11 PM

nope

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-07-2007, 09:13 PM

nope

**spound** · 03-07-2007, 11:54 PM

I think everybody on this site gets crap like this at some time or another. It gets old...very old. You feel like an outcast sometimes and like no one understands you and you are alone....bodybuilding is a solitary sport afterall. Just forget about them. Tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate them not tlakin shit anymore becuase it is actually getting on your nerves and you do not appreciate it. Be very serious with them. Tell them you do it for yourself, no one else, and it makes you happy.

The fact that you say that if you shriveled up your life would fall apart really scares me. I thought like this at one point in time...not anymore though. The thing is, this sport can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Life changes on a dime and what God has in hiw will for you, you can not change. I have learned that to be true. Bodybuilding is a lifestyle, but it is not a life. There are many other things in life that are WAYYYY more important than bodybuilding (ie: family, friends, relationships, God etc) I can always tell when a bodybuilder is a very simple person or only one-dimensioned. It is always the guy that are so caught up in it that they feel like they would die if they didn't have muscles. This is not and should not be the case. You need to live a more well-rounded life and keep a sense of balance about your life, otherwise you are not truly happy...no matter what you say. Bodybuilding is great and fun, but without frineds and family, life sucks...even if you are still bodybuilding. When you are on your death bed in the future and you are shriveled up, frail, weak, and terribly small, your friends and family aren't going to give a shit if you lost 50 lbs of muscle, or what you "used" to look like. THey are going to cherish the memories they made with you and the time they spent with you. Your body is temporary, your soul is not. You should put more focus on the latter...it will make everything else that much better.

I recently learned the above lesson. I have recently come down with some very serious health problems related to gear. I have decided to come compeltley clean for the remainder of my life. I never did anythign stupid or crazy to cause this, but obviously it was in God's will. Now that I am going to be clean form here on out, I was scared that I would shrink up and look bad, lose my identity b/c I was always used to being big (stayed around 260 in offseason), lose touch with who I was as a person, but I realized none of that shit matters. I still care about my appearance and still train hard and eat right and sure I have lost SOME size (not much) but this awakened my eyes to the fact that there is much more to life than getting big. And that I will be fine regardless, one way or another. With this mindset the transition has been relatively easy for me. You can always tell the guys who are not multi-faceted, they are the ones who become damn near suicidal when they come off the sauce or lose a couple lbs of LBM.

**gixxerboy1** · 03-08-2007, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by spound

I think everybody on this site gets crap like this at some time or another. It gets old...very old. You feel like an outcast sometimes and like no one understands you and you are alone....bodybuilding is a solitary sport afterall. Just forget about them. Tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate them not tlakin shit anymore becuase it is actually getting on your nerves and you do not appreciate it. Be very serious with them. Tell them you do it for yourself, no one else, and it makes you happy.

The fact that you say that if you shriveled up your life would fall apart really scares me. I thought like this at one point in time...not anymore though. The thing is, this sport can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Life changes on a dime and what God has in hiw will for you, you can not change. I have learned that to be true. Bodybuilding is a lifestyle, but it is not a life. There are many other things in life that are WAYYYY more important than bodybuilding (ie: family, friends, relationships, God etc) I can always tell when a bodybuilder is a very simple person or only one-dimensioned. It is always the guy that are so caught up in it that they feel like they would die if they didn't have muscles. This is not and should not be the case. You need to live a more well-rounded life and keep a sense of balance about your life, otherwise you are not truly happy...no matter what you say. Bodybuilding is great and fun, but without frineds and family, life sucks...even if you are still bodybuilding. When you are on your death bed in the future and you are shriveled up, frail, weak, and terribly small, your friends and family aren't going to give a shit if you lost 50 lbs of muscle, or what you "used" to look like. THey are going to cherish the memories they made with you and the time they spent with you. Your body is temporary, your soul is not. You should put more focus on the latter...it will make everything else that much better.

I recently learned the above lesson. I have recently come down with some very serious health problems related to gear. I have decided to come compeltley clean for the remainder of my life. I never did anythign stupid or crazy to cause this, but obviously it was in God's will. Now that I am going to be clean form here on out, I was scared that I would shrink up and look bad, lose my identity b/c I was always used to being big (stayed around 260 in offseason), lose touch with who I was as a person, but I realized none of that shit matters. I still care about my appearance and still train hard and eat right and sure I have lost SOME size (not much) but this awakened my eyes to the fact that there is much more to life than getting big. And that I will be fine regardless, one way or another. With this mindset the transition has been relatively easy for me. You can always tell the guys who are not multi-faceted, they are the ones who become damn near suicidal when they come off the sauce or lose a couple lbs of LBM.

Great post. More guys should realise this

**spound** · 03-08-2007, 12:07 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Great post. More guys should realise this

Unfortunately most don't....I used to be one of those guys. And ya know what? When I did realize this, the gains became much better and I was a much happier person. I threw away about 2 yrs of my college life thinking that way unfortunately.

**KAEW44** · 03-08-2007, 01:38 AM

Man i live in a place where nobody cares about their health and i work in a place where nobody cares about their health and even my family gives me crap about me trying to be healthy and exercise, and yes at times it breaks you but i still keep going after 10 years i am still going and they are all the same losers they were 10 years ago.
Its true what everyone here is saying they only make these comments because it makes them feel better about themselves, its all they have, after work they will go back home and look in the mirror and see reality and cry all night untill they can come back the next day and use you to feel better about themselves.
I donts smoke, i dont drink, i dont eat fast food, and peer pressure gets very hard when i go to watch UFC at my friends house and everyone is drinking and eating nachos and doritos and chowing down chili-cheese fries and i'm there with my ziplock bag with carrot and cucumber strips i bought with me and my bottle of water!!

Yes they grill me all the time and they tease, but man you just have to smile and do what you do, dont argue back or get mad cause thats what makes it fun for them.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-08-2007, 12:46 PM

nope

**Mike Dura** · 03-08-2007, 05:42 PM

um. Nevermind.

**ph34rsh4ck** · 03-08-2007, 07:16 PM

word

**JohnboyF** · 03-30-2007, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by spound

I think everybody on this site gets crap like this at some time or another. It gets old...very old. You feel like an outcast sometimes and like no one understands you and you are alone....bodybuilding is a solitary sport afterall. Just forget about them. Tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate them not tlakin shit anymore becuase it is actually getting on your nerves and you do not appreciate it. Be very serious with them. Tell them you do it for yourself, no one else, and it makes you happy.

The fact that you say that if you shriveled up your life would fall apart really scares me. I thought like this at one point in time...not anymore though. The thing is, this sport can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Life changes on a dime and what God has in hiw will for you, you can not change. I have learned that to be true. Bodybuilding is a lifestyle, but it is not a life. There are many other things in life that are WAYYYY more important than bodybuilding (ie: family, friends, relationships, God etc) I can always tell when a bodybuilder is a very simple person or only one-dimensioned. It is always the guy that are so caught up in it that they feel like they would die if they didn't have muscles. This is not and should not be the case. You need to live a more well-rounded life and keep a sense of balance about your life, otherwise you are not truly happy...no matter what you say. Bodybuilding is great and fun, but without frineds and family, life sucks...even if you are still bodybuilding. When you are on your death bed in the future and you are shriveled up, frail, weak, and terribly small, your friends and family aren't going to give a shit if you lost 50 lbs of muscle, or what you "used" to look like. THey are going to cherish the memories they made with you and the time they spent with you. Your body is temporary, your soul is not. You should put more focus on the latter...it will make everything else that much better.

I recently learned the above lesson. I have recently come down with some very serious health problems related to gear. I have decided to come compeltley clean for the remainder of my life. I never did anythign stupid or crazy to cause this, but obviously it was in God's will. Now that I am going to be clean form here on out, I was scared that I would shrink up and look bad, lose my identity b/c I was always used to being big (stayed around 260 in offseason), lose touch with who I was as a person, but I realized none of that shit matters. I still care about my appearance and still train hard and eat right and sure I have lost SOME size (not much) but this awakened my eyes to the fact that there is much more to life than getting big. And that I will be fine regardless, one way or another. With this mindset the transition has been relatively easy for me. You can always tell the guys who are not multi-faceted, they are the ones who become damn near suicidal when they come off the sauce or lose a couple lbs of LBM.

bump..... great post!

**AandF6969** · 03-30-2007, 01:58 PM

You know that 99.9% of people who give you $hit about working out or dieting... are just giving you crap to make themselves feel better about how fat they are or how scrawny they are.

Just tell him that you get hotter girls and are going to continue getting hotter girls than him for the rest of your life.

By the way, yes you are a better person than him because you work out and are dedicated. You walk the higher path than all these tools.

Hah personally, if I was in your situation, I'd say "Oh yeah? How's school going buddy? You planning on working here for $10 an hour the rest of your life?" Either that or, "Man I know, its a lot of work and I get sick of the food, but you should see these hotties I got all over me, all the time! It's totally worth it!"