WTF do you do about a neurotic girlfriend??

**Bojangles69** · 10-14-2007, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Atomini

I realized something. When she said some of the shit to me last night, I was about to fvcking barf when she said that. I've been through the mill, and thats the first time ive EVER felt sick to my stomach about something someone said to me, and it came from the person i'd least expect to say something like that. Oh well, people suck. Especially when they're psychos.

Just don't take it as anything personal. And I'm glad you put "people" suck and not that "women" suck. A lot of times when guys break up with thier girls they go into this whole gender bashing charade for 6 months and don't realize it has nothing to do with women as a gender but people in general.
I'm not sure what she said but realize its nothing more than just *words. She is the last person on this planet that will give an honest assesment of who you really are given the situation shes in and the person she sounds like.
The whole process of seperating from a partner involves a total and complete reassociation that can take some time.
When couples meet each partner tends to associate inaccurately the real value of thier partner.
Like she may sport love handles and instead of thinking "wow this chick needs to lose some weight" you may rosetint this fact and associate her love handles in your mind in a good way like "her love handles are actually kinda cute".
This goes on for EVERY single characteristic you acknowledge in your partner. So when it comes time to break up, the true bad feelings you feel are a result of the conflict between an old system of associated beliefs vs. a new system of reassociated beliefs.
The actual reassociation is what hurts. Because it is actually a painful process to have beliefs shattered and than your mind is left to take all those pieces and put them together in a new and often more accurate manner. You will start to view your partner as who they truely are and not who you wanted them to be in your mind when you were with them.
Its a fvcked up process but its completely normal.
Just understand humans often form thier identity from a reflection of thier environment. Like you do good in school you come to think you are smart. If your teachers call on you and praise you as a student this further reinforces that aspect of your identity.
If you are abused as a child you may tend to view yourself as worthless. And you may seek partners who will treat you as worthless because you believe they are only being honest and that must mean they care about you. So whats even MORE fvcked up than *people is the way we let them affect our lives.
NEVER forget that shit.
Our identities are always evolving and forming. MOST of its evolution however is done in our youth. Which can be a major setback for a lot of people. Understand right now this minute you identity is seeking reinforcement for however you currently view yourself.
If she's making you nautious, chances are your actually taking pieces of what she said and using them to reinforce who you think you are.
DO NOT DO THAT.
Why?
She is NOT you.
It may sound simple but thinking is such an automatic process for most people that they don't realize what they are really doing to themselves.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Most thoughts are as random and useless as leaves flowing down a stream. They really aren't good OR bad. They are more neutral than anything.
This is sooo important to realize.
Like snow for instance.
Anytime it snows you ALWAYS have one group of people who can't wait to make snow angels or go skiing & than another group of people who sees nothing but frozen car batteries and the endless aching hours of shoveling.
You see. Snow LIKE what this girl said about you, is niether good or bad. The way it made you nautious another guy may have laughed in her face and felt sorry for her and spared himself that nautious feeling you felt.
I could really go on forever but this should be enough to help you understand it really has NOTHING to do with her or what SHE says, its the - or + energy you attach to the neutral *words coming out of her mouth.
You can go in either direction, and the fact is they are both equally meaningless, so why bother making shit any harder for yourself when you don't need to?
Rock on dude.

-Bo

**Atomini** · 10-14-2007, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by goaheadandhitme

In my experience, in that context, she was describing how SHE felt inside. When people lash out with that kind of pain, it's comming from somewhere. Do you think she was trying to hurt you, or did she just lose control of something thats there all the time? If that makes you feel anybetter.

I have no clue, bro... no fvcking clue. This woman is a mystery. And she was also in one of her stupid depressed state of mind last night, too.

**goaheadandhitme** · 10-14-2007, 05:41 PM

(BO) ^^ dude, that's pretty^^

**goaheadandhitme** · 10-14-2007, 05:42 PM

[QUOTE=Atomini]I have no clue, bro... no fvcking clue. This woman is a mystery. And she was also in one of her stupid depressed state of mind last night, too.[/QUOTE

yep, I been there..

**goaheadandhitme** · 10-14-2007, 05:47 PM

her name aint heather by chance?? lol

**Atomini** · 10-14-2007, 05:52 PM

Bo, that was an awesome post, thanks for the info.

I know what she said isn't true, but the fact she said them bothers me.

And no, her name isn't Heather, lol.

**massattack** · 10-14-2007, 08:59 PM

Dude women are a dime a dozen. MOVE ON

**paulzane** · 10-15-2007, 02:44 AM

In relationships you always seem to get the lowest common denominator. You cannot bring a person up. The depressive one always brings the perky one down. It just never seems to work the other way round. I would say, for your own peace of mind, leave her. Move on and try to forget. Let her make someone else miserable!!

**Atomini** · 10-15-2007, 01:26 PM

Yeah, i'm done for good with this.

**whatnow** · 03-07-2009, 04:29 PM

my girlfriend is definately bipolar or ? and believes her "only" solution is yoga.she believes in no drugs and no shrinks! after 3 years of a nightmarish relationship and still not living together because she,s still not "sure about the way i am" (yes, it,s all me..).Continually contraditing herself, one minute happy the next (over the littlest thing) depressed and pointing fingers.I keep running over to her place when she demands and we never have sex because the excuse is that she senses ansiety/nervousness in me so it,s not the right time..etc etc God knows why but i still love her and keep going on.Sometimes i get serious and go back to my place, ignore her and guaranteed passed 3/4 days she calls me with a very nice tone, understanding and listnening and gets me hooked to run over to her place.3/4 days later i can,t say the right word can,t do anything right!!!
If i can,t be brave enough soon to disappear from her life a person like me who was/is quite sane & healthy is going to either die from a heart explosion or blood pressure anniliation!!
Maybe she needs a man who does,nt take any shit whatsover!??

**luxifer93** · 03-07-2009, 04:39 PM

It's been 2 years, I'm sure he's over it

**MMArmour** · 03-07-2009, 04:40 PM

ya seriously. 2007 bro. why post?

**J-Dogg** · 03-07-2009, 05:03 PM

My experince with women, and crazy ones I feel I can give you some good advice here.

It's okay, if she is a little "off" and you can deal with it.

Eventually, the emotions, fighting, constant bickering and break ups and get backs will affect other portions of your life though.

DO you feel taking this girl back could cause problems with your life? Outside of the relationship? Will her being like this, affect your work? health? Family life?

It's not worth it if it gets to the point it ruins your life. You will feel you NEED her to get your life back.

Keep your life stable, take care of everything you need to every day. Left over time, deal with her. But if she is going to drag you down....you are better off alone for now.

Girls like a guy that can take care of himself, maybe help her....protect her...be that stable rock they need when things get bad.

Just don't let a girl drag you down or affect other things in your life.

**J-Dogg** · 03-07-2009, 05:05 PM

whoa, just saw this was 2 years ago, lol. Dammit.

**MMArmour** · 03-07-2009, 05:39 PM

haha i somehow KNEW youd post on this

**Brown Ninja** · 03-07-2009, 06:01 PM

Kill her

**Brown Ninja** · 03-07-2009, 06:02 PM

regardless of date she needs to be put down

**BuffedGuy** · 03-07-2009, 06:54 PM

WTF do you do about a neurotic girlfriend??

I can't take this shiat. She's a great woman and all, but she's one of those types who's brain is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Depressed one day, happy the next, changing her mind about things every minute, etc. etc.

Is it not a bit redundant to use the words "neurotic" and "woman" together?

**Hoggage_54** · 03-07-2009, 07:31 PM

**IM708** · 03-07-2009, 08:20 PM

Why the fvck was such a stupid ass thread bumped...

**Workout Barbie** · 03-07-2009, 10:49 PM

It sounds like she does have some mental health issues. She could be very depressed. The dumping you out of the blue thing sounds weird to me because even if I was depressed I wouldn't want to be away from the one I love. Is she taking medication currently? If she isn't she should go see a psychiatrist and tell him the feelings she is having. You need to decide if you want to be with her when she is going through this tough time and it might not be easy but if you really care about her than stick through this with her and you might be suprised at how close your relationship could become!

**Bojangles69** · 03-07-2009, 11:01 PM

Originally Posted by Atomini

I can't take this shiat. She's a great woman and all, but she's one of those types who's brain is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Depressed one day, happy the next, changing her mind about things every minute, etc. etc.

She dumped me about a year ago (even though she apparently didnt want to) out of nowhere because she didn't know what she wanted and couldn't make up her damn mind. And now we're kinda sorta back together. I thought she did that at the time because she was really stressed out with schooling and work, but after not being in contact with her for about 8 months after she dumped me out of nowhere, she contacted me again. So now I don't even think it has to do with stress or whatever she's doing at the moment. I think this is just the way she is all the time. I think it's just her.

Feels like she's toying around with my head. Or maybe she isn't, but it seems like she is (SEE, this is what i'm talking about!!).How the hell do you deal with someone like this??

You DON'T deal with them because you can't. If you could you would have by now.
She wants someone or something better than you, she may not deserve it but she wants it.
If she thought she was going to lose anything valuable by losing you she would try not to. She simply doesn't care about you like you think.

Tell the woman to walk.