Why I suck at relationships

[J-Dogg]

I don’t know how much if this is simply a vent, or me looking for answers. But I’m finding it difficult to become compatible with girls.

It’s not finding them, meeting them, talking to them. For the most part I do fine with that. At first they adore me, really impressed with me and what I do. The parents always want to adopt me, I’ve never had a problem withanyones parents, friends or girl friends.

I’m a good guy, honest, hard working, and humble to a point, speak well and have my life together.

Bottom line is though, I’m narcissistic. I stems I know from accomplishment. I come from a very poor, dysfunctional family. I’ve never met my dad, I grew up being the little guy, the poor kid people picked on. I was so quite as a kid, I spoke so soft that my Mom was scared to send me to school because the teachers might think (or find out) I was abused.

At some point in my life, I made the choice that I cannot and will not allow my upbringing or surroundings dictate how I live my life and what I do with it. I vowed not to blame anything on my mom, or the fact that I never met my dad or had a father figure. It’s my life, and it’s up to me to do with it what I want. I was and still am hard on myself, I don’t blame, and I don’t make excuses. Because of this, I see though when other people do.

I’ve heard it from almost any girl that I’m involved with though, “well I’m glad you have it all together”. At times, I just want to say “thanks, you could learn something from me”. Coming from what I did, I’ve done well for myself. Of any person I’ve graduated with, I’ve done better than 90% despite what teachers had foreseen. While everyone else was eating twinkies and falling apart, I’ve followed a structured diet and life.

Most of the time this happens when they are in a crisis, they talk to me about it, I give them advice. I’ve heard so many girls use the “I was molested” line on me. It happened 20 years ago or longer and they are still using it for an excuse. One even used “my mom never told me she loved me enough”. My most recent Ex I think her mom actually said it TOO much.
I have tried not to give advice also, just listen. But have you ever played Mario 3 and your friend tries 10 times to make it though a level you can do with your eyes shut? It’s hard to just sit there and watch him get frustrated and throw the controller, you want to just grab it and do it for him. The answer sometimes just seems so obvious to me, so I say it.

[N*E*R*D]

You want to grab his controller and do it for him? Mmmmmmmm What do you mean?

[Kelleh]

Your past is what makes you. From the sounds of it youve made the best it. I cant relate to your past but everyone I know with alot of issues growing has hit rock bottom. I definitally give you props for your hardwork and accomplisments. As for the women in your life maybe your just looking for the wrong type...

[RuhlFreak55]

superiority......this could be my problem too.....it's very hard to find a woman that's worthy

[Narkissos]

superiority......this could be my problem too.....it's very hard to find a woman that's worthy

lmao.

You're going to be a virgin for the rest of your life.

[RuhlFreak55]

lmao.

You're going to be a virgin for the rest of your life.

i'm already not a virgin though......

[Kratos]

Well for one I'm gonna tell you that your too intense. You gotta see the things she's good at, that maybe she does better than you...Keep in mind men are the ones that should have it together. Women represent sex, beauty and fertility. Men represent Money, Status, Stability. Blame it on history. Girls tend to be all about a good time, right up til the point when they have their first baby, that usually pulls things together for them. Maybe she is better at planning a party than you, or decorating an apartment, or better at keeping a network of friends. Idk, point is instead of looking at the things you are better at, find the value in her. And maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet.

[warchild]

the problem sounds like them not you, maybe be more selective on who you date. you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, so there is nothing wrong with being picky. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS!!!!!

[J-Dogg]

It very well could be the type of girl, I tend to go toward girls younger than or my age (27). While I’m not spring chicken, I’m ahead of most people my age, in this area anyway. I have a good sense of responsibility, I’m bothered by a significant others ability to be “content” with what “god has given them”.
I don’t have anything against older girls, but at the same time, I’d like to find one without kids.

[J-Dogg]

Well for one I'm gonna tell you that your too intense. You gotta see the things she's good at, that maybe she does better than you...Keep in mind men are the ones that should have it together. Women represent sex, beauty and fertility. Men represent Money, Status, Stability. Blame it on history. Girls tend to be all about a good time, right up til the point when they have their first baby, that usually pulls things together for them. Maybe she is better at planning a party than you, or decorating an apartment, or better at keeping a network of friends. Idk, point is instead of looking at the things you are better at, find the value in her. And maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet.

You defiantly strike a point there. My Ex was a beautiful girl, honestly probably the best looking girl in town (small town, 10k pop), you actually described her without meeting her. Her, and a few girls sense then anyway.
The last time we had a fight, when we were together, it was because she could not find a job. While she was not working, she tried to help me manage my properties. My books are setup a certain way, and that’s how I like them to stay. I’d show her how to use a ledger, but she wanted to operate out of a spiral note pad. I felt it was not very organized, and I am the one who has to bring a spiral note pad into the accountant at the end of the year. She was unable (still today) able to find work. I eventually tried to help, pull some strings only to find out she did not have, or know how to make a resume. She was mad when I told her, “you have to make yourself marketable to an employers, you can’t do that without a resume to display your skills and objectives”.

I did bring up, that I was better at this type of stuff, and it’s okay to take advice from me on this. I went on to explain to her if I need someone to do hair or makeup (she wanted to be a cosmetologist) I would seek advice from her.

I think I waited to long to bring up her talents for it to matter, but I also belive she was sick of being in my shadow as well.

[Kratos]

Well, it's kinda a trade-off too. I dated a lawyer, she was pretty hot but very absorbed with her job. She could be sexy at times, but was also kinda cold and all business. We dated like 4 or 5 months anyway. I found out I wanted a girl who was a little more playful and focused on me. Maybe you are different though.

[Narkissos]

i'm already not a virgin though......

paying for it doesn't count :P

[J-Dogg]

Well being who I am, it’s not easy to admit when I’m wrong. I try, but even when I do say it, many times I don’t believe it.

I’ve had this happen with 3-4 girls in the past year and its either the same type of girls, or it’s my problem. Not trying to blame them, but they seem to get caught up in drama more than I wish. I just like a stable life, I work hard to avoid financial stress and I want things.

For some reason, I guess I end up perusing the wrong girls, and fail to peruse the one’s I should be. It’s difficult in my area as younger educated people with life goals move away from the area a few years after high school. I am stuck here with properties in a slumping market, I would not be able to sell until the real estate market bounces back. Not to mention I have a rapidly growing profitable company as well. The girls who do move back after college, move back with a husband and a kid or 2 to raise a family!

As far as dating a girl who more “into me”, it could be the worse things for my condition, lol. I’d just feed off it.

[Bryan2]

just as a different perspective from this one thread that ive read from you.....


You relate the rest of the world to "you" or "your" life and how you would do things.


Maybe take a step back at things, Everyone goes through different things in their life and realize different things at their own pace.

Unfortunately some things cannot be taught. They can only be learned from experience.

Cant really teach a bird to fly you know, but it will when its ready

[J-Dogg]

just as a different perspective from this one thread that ive read from you.....


You relate the rest of the world to "you" or "your" life and how you would do things.


Maybe take a step back at things, Everyone goes through different things in their life and realize different things at their own pace.

Unfortunately some things cannot be taught. They can only be learned from experience.

Cant really teach a bird to fly you know, but it will when its ready

Well am I not the most important? Point taken, lol.

[Kratos]

you and ruhl should just go gay together

[J-Dogg]

you and ruhl should just go gay together

Waiting for him to PM me pics!

[dirtball_619]

J-dogg Bro.... Its not you, its them. remember that

[Kratos]

J-dogg Bro.... Its not you, its them. remember that

except when you are breaking up, then "it's not you, it's me."

[DSM4Life]

just as a different perspective from this one thread that ive read from you.....


You relate the rest of the world to "you" or "your" life and how you would do things.


Maybe take a step back at things, Everyone goes through different things in their life and realize different things at their own pace.

Unfortunately some things cannot be taught. They can only be learned from experience.

Cant really teach a bird to fly you know, but it will when its ready

Agree 100%

[Amorphic]

the problem sounds like them not you, maybe be more selective on who you date. you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, so there is nothing wrong with being picky. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS!!!!!

agreed, although this can make things a little lonely at times.

[N*E*R*D]

paying for it doesn't count :P

Nobody told me that.

[PT]

paying for it doesn't count :P

shit. well if thats the case im going to have to stand up here and say that im still a virgin myself. in actuality most of us have paid for sex in one way or another. i used to take girls out to dinner and a club and throw down a few bills when my only motive was to get her into my bed so in a less criminal kind of way i guess i paid for sex. i even paid for it with a little bit of dignity before

[wilson9d]

i did not read that but be happy you suck at relationships