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    Sir Victorian guy, V.C. is offline Knight of the Garter and Member of the Victorian Order
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    England, by Grace of God
    Posts
    40

    Went to McDonald's- COPS CALLED!! WTF?!

    Brothers,

    Lately, I have been having problems with my temper. As I outlined in 'Roid Rage ' I had an incident at Church which really made me wonder- am I indeed a bit edgy?
    Lately, at McDonald's, another distressing incident occurred.

    The other evening, after finishing a brutal workout, Nobby and I staggered out of the gym. Bent bars, snapped cables, holes in the floor from where a bar loaded with 800 pounds had been dropped off of my back at the end of a set of squats, all indicated that truly Herculean efforts had been made by Nobby and I. Time for the post workout meal!
    The only way to get in the 15 000 calories we each needed to make our unfeasibly large muscles even more humongous was to eat McDonald's food- and lots of it.
    The line up at McDonald's was frightening. Nobby and I entered, and he commented on the crowd. "Watch and learn, Nobby old chap" I remarked, and then I shoved my way up to the front of the line, elbowing ribs, tossing folk aside, and glaring down those who grumbled, before triumphantly reaching the counter. Nobby followed, chain in hand, lest any troublemakers try to protest. "We have to eat NOW, Nobby...our muscles are shrinking, for God's sake!" I cried.
    There, working behind the counter mopping the floor, was - none other than- Marvin, the Down's Syndrome fellow from the gym! (see the post 'I helped out handicapped bros at the gym) "Marvin!" I cried.
    Marvin looked at us, and began saying hello repeatedly. Just then the cashier addressed me-
    "Good evening, Sir, and what can I get you?" the cashier asked.
    "Everything you have" I snarled.
    "Excuse me, Sir? Everything? I don't understand...."
    "EVERYTHING!!!" I roared, gesturing to the entire array of hamburgers, fries, pies, etc., in front of us. "And make it FUCKING quick, sunshine" I sneered. Nobby's glare persuaded the terrified boy to quickly begin piling every piece of food in sight onto trays- heaps of various burgers, pies, scoops and scoops of fries...etc, etc. Nobby leaned over and whispered to Marvin "Oi, Marhvin, 'urt the bahstads!". Marvin heard the order, and made a point of snatching food off of other employees, screaming 'Gimme it, you fuckin bashtad!", punching them in the face, and putting it squarely on trays meant for Nobby and I!

    The waiting was too much for Nobby, and he grabbed a 'Happy Meal' from the hands of a little boy and wolfed down the contents- not even bothering to unwrap the hamburger. As the young lad sniffled, I reprimanded Nobby "You bastard! Get the child something to make him feel better!". Nobby lumbered over to the plastic 'Happy Meal' toy display case, showing all 5 toys available to be collected, punched a hole in it, ripped it off the wall and handed the young lad the 5 toys that had been displayed within. He then back-hand smacked a lady in the face, snatched her take-out bag, and handed it to the happy lad. "Well done, Nobby- your kindness indeed overrunneth!" I commended him.

    Our food took 5 or 6 trips to bring it all to the 3 tables we occupied, and soon we were eating our way through a mountain of food, stopping occasionally to take a swig of whiskey from the bottle I had brought in under my coat.
    Some time later, our hands shaking in effort to force feed ourselves, we finally managed to eat the last bit of food. I stood up, and reeled back- well, it wouldn't be the first time I had eaten until I was sick, but brothers, we Warriors suffer the pain!
    As Nobby and I staggered out, the manager called us over. "Gentlemen, we just can't have you coming in here next time and..." he wasn't quite finished when, with a "'BLAAAARRRRGGHH!!!" I vomited all over him and, staggering over to the front counter, vomited all over it as well! I needed to replace those lost calories, and seizing a tray of french fries, I threw down a few bills and headed out.
    The manager followed us, informing us that he had called the police, and was quickly silenced by a smack across the face from Nobby's trusted, rusty, motorbike chain. As we headed to the Rolls Royce, Marvin burst out of the front door, brandishing a mop, and, screaming, began beating the manager with it.

    As we drove off, several police cars pulled in to the McDonald's parking lot, and in the rear-view mirror I noticed several officers surrounding Marvin, and began working him over with their nightsticks, in a beating not seen since the Rodney King video!

    Brothers- is it me- or those McDonald's employees? Aside from Marvin, what an insolent, lazy bunch of punks they are.
    Last edited by Sir Victorian guy, V.C.; 11-12-2002 at 06:47 PM.

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