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  1. #1
    dedic8ed1's Avatar
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    Dillema in new relationship

    I met this chick at the salon she works at about 2 months ago,she's crazy hot,hard working,the sex is great an we really look at our relationship as a longterm relationship.But one thing bothers me it's the lack of accertive action she demonstrates to enforce the court ordered child support she's entitled.Her kids father's some pot smokin no job no goals kinda bum that shows no interest in taking care of or even being apart of this kids life.All he has to pay is 75$ every 2 weeks how hard could that possibly be.I've been up an down the road of family court with my ex so I pretty much know the ins an outs of what to do an what not to do.I suggested to pro se this kid to court an that turned into a debate between me n her mother on how to demonstrate this kids character in words the court will understand an respect at the same time without going to court n smearing this kids name,the truth will already demonstrate this to the court so keep it simple.I'm pretty much involved in a assisting copacity cause she needs a little guidance and it blows rite up in my face because the way I disagreed with her mothers suggestion on how to define the fathers involvement with the child,my girl said my tone was know it all and disrespectful and alls I was doing was disagreeing and sticking to my guns there was no disrecpecting at all and her mom said it was no big deal.I'm here to help an she's telling me all the answers.I just wanted to say if you have all the answers then why am I even helping your daughter if you know everything then how come you havn't gotten the same documents an attorny would get from the courts,(that I already had an provided) an file your self an get this kid in court within 2 weeks an if he doesn't show the court sees first hand that this kids father is a problem.


    I don't know if I could completly respect someone that shows such carelessness, lazyness.And she still didn't file the papers yet this was a week ago,it takes longer to makes copys of the paper work then it does to fill them out.

    How do you guys feel about this?
    Last edited by dedic8ed1; 11-23-2008 at 04:51 PM.

  2. #2
    JiGGaMaN's Avatar
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    A hot girl with kids is like buying a repo'd bentley with a shitload of mileage and a blown out tail pipe to boot. I recommend not getting involved in this shit hailstorm thats going on, unless you are a man who enjoys getting his hair did and pedicures and such.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    A hot girl with kids is like buying a repo'd bentley with a shitload of mileage and a blown out tail pipe to boot. I recommend not getting involved in this shit hailstorm thats going on, unless you are a man who enjoys getting his hair did and pedicures and such.
    This is the only problem I don't wanna throw this time we shared away cause of 1 thing.I guess Its just none of my buisness on how she handles her personal affairs that's probably the safest position to play.an learn how to deal the same way she might be dealing with something I do that she doesn't like.

  4. #4
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    Yeah but this guy doesnt seem like hes going to clean up his act anytime soon. Its just going to be a perpetual fight starter for ever and ever until you wise up, take a step back, and say to yourself "f this shit, im out". Its sorta like what the last guy did but you didnt knock the girl up twice so its all good.

  5. #5
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    Bro, there are waaaaay too many women out there to be wasting your energy like this. Be picky, you`ll find someone just as good without the baggage, I promise.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    Yeah but this guy doesnt seem like hes going to clean up his act anytime soon. Its just going to be a perpetual fight starter for ever and ever until you wise up, take a step back, and say to yourself "f this shit, im out". Its sorta like what the last guy did but you didnt knock the girl up twice so its all good.
    She's only got 1 kid an I'm not one to give up so easily on someone I see potential in.You are rite about the topic starting static between us but I don't let her no it bothers me.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gears View Post
    Bro, there are waaaaay too many women out there to be wasting your energy like this. Be picky, you`ll find someone just as good without the baggage, I promise.
    Bud I get hit on all the time no bullshit but I'm interested in a serious relationship with someone who doesn't want anymore kids and just wants to live and be happy I c these qualitys in her maybe time will tell if she's the one or not.

  8. #8
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    If you`re happy, thats all the matters. But I have to tell you, women are extremely easy to get over when you understand all the other stuff thats out there.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by dedic8ed1 View Post
    She's only got 1 kid an I'm not one to give up so easily on someone I see potential in.You are rite about the topic starting static between us but I don't let her no it bothers me.
    Trust me, shes got two dude.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    Trust me, shes got two dude.
    Yeah her son and the boys doner.

  11. #11
    Anabody is offline Banned
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    Maybe she just wants to move on, forget about her past.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabody View Post
    Maybe she just wants to move on, forget about her past.
    Ofcourse she does but this kid needs to pay for his responsibilities like everyone else.

  13. #13
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    I know and agree but at what cost?

  14. #14
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    75 bucks a fortnight is bullshit and not worth the crap.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabody View Post
    I know and agree but at what cost?
    I guess how ever much ink from the pen she uses to fill out the paper work is what it would cost.He'll either go to court n pay,given a deadline to pay or sit in the county until he's ready to pay.Either way it's the staging point for her to force this guy to pay.

  16. #16
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    I don't think it's for you to get up in her shit and make the guy pay or take responsibility for his actions. It's her past and you were not involved in that, I'd just stay out of it. You seem like you are going to let that good-for-nothing bum come between you and the girl.

    I think if you can let it go and make this woman a new life then you can be happy, but if you cannot keep out of this family's deal then you asking for a failed relationship and you should move on; you can't have it both ways.

    good luck with that.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabody View Post
    75 bucks a fortnight is bullshit and not worth the crap.
    Yeah what single mother couldn't use an extra 150 a month.Take your head out of your ass buddy really.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by scibble View Post
    I don't think it's for you to get up in her shit and make the guy pay or take responsibility for his actions. It's her past and you were not involved in that, I'd just stay out of it. You seem like you are going to let that good-for-nothing bum come between you and the girl.

    I think if you can let it go and make this woman a new life then you can be happy, but if you cannot keep out of this family's deal then you asking for a failed relationship and you should move on; you can't have it both ways.

    good luck with that.
    Finally an educated response,your rite buddy your rite.

  19. #19
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    we're all just trying to help out, even the dude whose answer you didn't like.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by scibble View Post
    we're all just trying to help out, even the dude whose answer you didn't like.
    I know that's why I post,thanks

  21. #21
    Anabody is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by dedic8ed1 View Post
    Yeah what single mother couldn't use an extra 150 a month.Take your head out of your ass buddy really.
    Yeah, good point just didn't seem worth the grief. Don't know about my head in my ass though, but whatever!

  22. #22
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dedic8ed1 View Post
    She's only got 1 kid an I'm not one to give up so easily on someone I see potential in.You are rite about the topic starting static between us but I don't let her no it bothers me.
    Mate look at it this way,,,, your already hiding your true self for the sake of a relationship,,,, is that the right thing you think?????

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Older lifter View Post
    Mate look at it this way,,,, your already hiding your true self for the sake of a relationship,,,, is that the right thing you think?????
    VERY GOOD POINT.And I'am for the sake of losing this girl involving myself in something that has nothing to do with me.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anabody View Post
    Yeah, good point just didn't seem worth the grief. Don't know about my head in my ass though, but whatever!
    If you took it personal I take it back.

  25. #25
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
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    Never hide yourself, because it is going to come out sooner or later anyhow...

    Good luck with it bro

  26. #26
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    It's all good.

  27. #27
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
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    Just talkin from experience mate thats all

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Older lifter View Post
    Just talkin from experience mate thats all
    Your rite too buddy,But I really like this girl an if learning how to deal something thats none of my buisness is what will keep us happy she's worth it.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    A hot girl with kids is like buying a repo'd bentley with a shitload of mileage and a blown out tail pipe to boot. I recommend not getting involved in this shit hailstorm thats going on, unless you are a man who enjoys getting his hair did and pedicures and such.


    Agreed...

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by dedic8ed1 View Post
    Finally an educated response,your rite buddy your rite.
    First off, i thought my responses were pretty ivy-league. Second, scribble fails to take in consideration that theres no such thing as a free lunch. if that dudes not picking up the tab for those kids, you know who is going to eventually (its gonna be you). Your next cycle is going to consist of snack packs, kool-aide and cold cuts.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    First off, i thought my responses were pretty ivy-league. Second, scribble fails to take in consideration that theres no such thing as a free lunch. if that dudes not picking up the tab for those kids, you know who is going to eventually (its gonna be you). Your next cycle is going to consist of snack packs, kool-aide and cold cuts.
    ^^^^^ hit right on the head as always mate,,,,good one

  32. #32
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    mmm...I consider that...but bottom line, you push the issue, you lose the girl.

    lot's of guys get with girls who have a kid. taking care of the kid is part of the package, you don't need to go looking for someone to help out.

    believe me, the battle with this deadbeat and the resulting friction with the girl will never quit. he'll pay, then not pay, then pay, maybe he'll just go to jail...you'll fvk up your relationship; for years and years he will be a defacto part of your family, a constant source of unpleasant discussion and friction.

    my opinion remains...either take the kid with the mother as is and stay out of their shit, or find a different girl.

  33. #33
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    My wife and I went through this. I pushed her to do something about her deadbeat x husband and when she finally did, it made things worse. The court system wants the father in the kids life, so all he has to say is, I want a 50/50 custody. Chances are he'll get it. (for a while at least) and you will forever be going back to court. Oh, he's a pot head, doesn't matter, If she wants drug testing, She will have to pay for it. AND the court can say all parties and their significant others will have to submit as well. When all is said and done, the only one that matters is the child, NOT YOU! It is HER decision and not yours, don't push it, it's none of your business. My wife always said, 'It's not worth time or money, I don't want him to think I need anything from him'. You know what? She was right. Just support her in her decision.

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    ^^^^^ there's another good point

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN View Post
    First off, i thought my responses were pretty ivy-league. Second, scribble fails to take in consideration that theres no such thing as a free lunch. if that dudes not picking up the tab for those kids, you know who is going to eventually (its gonna be you). Your next cycle is going to consist of snack packs, kool-aide and cold cuts.
    I honestly laughed pretty hard at the cycle line,good stuff buddy I needed to laugh.

  36. #36
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    I understand that you are looking out for her best interest, but to be honest, unless you are having to support them with your own money, it's none of your business. Its her decision to make whether or not she wants to do something and I don't think you should be getting into arguments with anyone, have you ever thought that it's just easier for her to let it go than to have to constantly fight with someone, maybe she doesn't want the extra stress right now.

  37. #37
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    ^^^ you GO girl !

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by dedic8ed1 View Post
    I met this chick at the salon she works at about 2 months ago,she's crazy hot,hard working,the sex is great an we really look at our relationship as a longterm relationship.But one thing bothers me it's the lack of accertive action she demonstrates to enforce the court ordered child support she's entitled.Her kids father's some pot smokin no job no goals kinda bum that shows no interest in taking care of or even being apart of this kids life.All he has to pay is 75$ every 2 weeks how hard could that possibly be.I've been up an down the road of family court with my ex so I pretty much know the ins an outs of what to do an what not to do.I suggested to pro se this kid to court an that turned into a debate between me n her mother on how to demonstrate this kids character in words the court will understand an respect at the same time without going to court n smearing this kids name,the truth will already demonstrate this to the court so keep it simple.I'm pretty much involved in a assisting copacity cause she needs a little guidance and it blows rite up in my face because the way I disagreed with her mothers suggestion on how to define the fathers involvement with the child,my girl said my tone was know it all and disrespectful and alls I was doing was disagreeing and sticking to my guns there was no disrecpecting at all and her mom said it was no big deal.I'm here to help an she's telling me all the answers.I just wanted to say if you have all the answers then why am I even helping your daughter if you know everything then how come you havn't gotten the same documents an attorny would get from the courts,(that I already had an provided) an file your self an get this kid in court within 2 weeks an if he doesn't show the court sees first hand that this kids father is a problem.


    I don't know if I could completly respect someone that shows such carelessness, lazyness.And she still didn't file the papers yet this was a week ago,it takes longer to makes copys of the paper work then it does to fill them out.

    How do you guys feel about this?
    I think you need to take a "Writing English Sentences for Dummies" class.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaptainkeezy04 View Post
    I think you need to take a "Writing English Sentences for Dummies" class.
    how'd u get so helpful,schmuck.I guess if I was interested in your writing approval I'd do that .Put a shirt on skinny
    Last edited by dedic8ed1; 11-25-2008 at 08:33 PM.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatsMeow View Post
    I understand that you are looking out for her best interest, but to be honest, unless you are having to support them with your own money, it's none of your business. Its her decision to make whether or not she wants to do something and I don't think you should be getting into arguments with anyone, have you ever thought that it's just easier for her to let it go than to have to constantly fight with someone, maybe she doesn't want the extra stress right now.
    Your rite

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