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Thread: Dillema in new relationship
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11-23-2008, 04:30 PM #1
Dillema in new relationship
I met this chick at the salon she works at about 2 months ago,she's crazy hot,hard working,the sex is great an we really look at our relationship as a longterm relationship.But one thing bothers me it's the lack of accertive action she demonstrates to enforce the court ordered child support she's entitled.Her kids father's some pot smokin no job no goals kinda bum that shows no interest in taking care of or even being apart of this kids life.All he has to pay is 75$ every 2 weeks how hard could that possibly be.I've been up an down the road of family court with my ex so I pretty much know the ins an outs of what to do an what not to do.I suggested to pro se this kid to court an that turned into a debate between me n her mother on how to demonstrate this kids character in words the court will understand an respect at the same time without going to court n smearing this kids name,the truth will already demonstrate this to the court so keep it simple.I'm pretty much involved in a assisting copacity cause she needs a little guidance and it blows rite up in my face because the way I disagreed with her mothers suggestion on how to define the fathers involvement with the child,my girl said my tone was know it all and disrespectful and alls I was doing was disagreeing and sticking to my guns there was no disrecpecting at all and her mom said it was no big deal.I'm here to help an she's telling me all the answers.I just wanted to say if you have all the answers then why am I even helping your daughter if you know everything then how come you havn't gotten the same documents an attorny would get from the courts,(that I already had an provided) an file your self an get this kid in court within 2 weeks an if he doesn't show the court sees first hand that this kids father is a problem.
I don't know if I could completly respect someone that shows such carelessness, lazyness.And she still didn't file the papers yet this was a week ago,it takes longer to makes copys of the paper work then it does to fill them out.
How do you guys feel about this?Last edited by dedic8ed1; 11-23-2008 at 04:51 PM.
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11-23-2008, 04:50 PM #2
A hot girl with kids is like buying a repo'd bentley with a shitload of mileage and a blown out tail pipe to boot. I recommend not getting involved in this shit hailstorm thats going on, unless you are a man who enjoys getting his hair did and pedicures and such.
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11-23-2008, 04:57 PM #3
This is the only problem I don't wanna throw this time we shared away cause of 1 thing.I guess Its just none of my buisness on how she handles her personal affairs that's probably the safest position to play.an learn how to deal the same way she might be dealing with something I do that she doesn't like.
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11-23-2008, 05:00 PM #4
Yeah but this guy doesnt seem like hes going to clean up his act anytime soon. Its just going to be a perpetual fight starter for ever and ever until you wise up, take a step back, and say to yourself "f this shit, im out". Its sorta like what the last guy did but you didnt knock the girl up twice so its all good.
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11-23-2008, 05:02 PM #5
Bro, there are waaaaay too many women out there to be wasting your energy like this. Be picky, you`ll find someone just as good without the baggage, I promise.
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11-23-2008, 05:03 PM #6
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11-23-2008, 05:06 PM #7
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11-23-2008, 05:09 PM #8
If you`re happy, thats all the matters. But I have to tell you, women are extremely easy to get over when you understand all the other stuff thats out there.
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11-23-2008, 05:18 PM #9
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11-23-2008, 06:23 PM #10
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11-23-2008, 06:28 PM #11Banned
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Maybe she just wants to move on, forget about her past.
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11-23-2008, 06:37 PM #12
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11-23-2008, 06:39 PM #13Banned
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I know and agree but at what cost?
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11-23-2008, 06:40 PM #14Banned
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75 bucks a fortnight is bullshit and not worth the crap.
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11-23-2008, 06:47 PM #15
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11-23-2008, 06:48 PM #16
I don't think it's for you to get up in her shit and make the guy pay or take responsibility for his actions. It's her past and you were not involved in that, I'd just stay out of it. You seem like you are going to let that good-for-nothing bum come between you and the girl.
I think if you can let it go and make this woman a new life then you can be happy, but if you cannot keep out of this family's deal then you asking for a failed relationship and you should move on; you can't have it both ways.
good luck with that.
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11-23-2008, 06:49 PM #17
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11-23-2008, 06:51 PM #18
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11-23-2008, 06:54 PM #19
we're all just trying to help out, even the dude whose answer you didn't like.
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11-23-2008, 06:57 PM #20
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11-23-2008, 07:02 PM #21Banned
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11-23-2008, 07:04 PM #22Anabolic Member
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11-23-2008, 07:09 PM #23
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11-23-2008, 07:11 PM #24
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11-23-2008, 07:11 PM #25Anabolic Member
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Never hide yourself, because it is going to come out sooner or later anyhow...
Good luck with it bro
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11-23-2008, 07:11 PM #26Banned
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It's all good.
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11-23-2008, 07:13 PM #27Anabolic Member
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Just talkin from experience mate thats all
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11-23-2008, 07:18 PM #28
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11-23-2008, 07:31 PM #29
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11-23-2008, 07:51 PM #30
First off, i thought my responses were pretty ivy-league. Second, scribble fails to take in consideration that theres no such thing as a free lunch. if that dudes not picking up the tab for those kids, you know who is going to eventually (its gonna be you). Your next cycle is going to consist of snack packs, kool-aide and cold cuts.
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11-23-2008, 08:55 PM #31Anabolic Member
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11-23-2008, 09:03 PM #32
mmm...I consider that...but bottom line, you push the issue, you lose the girl.
lot's of guys get with girls who have a kid. taking care of the kid is part of the package, you don't need to go looking for someone to help out.
believe me, the battle with this deadbeat and the resulting friction with the girl will never quit. he'll pay, then not pay, then pay, maybe he'll just go to jail...you'll fvk up your relationship; for years and years he will be a defacto part of your family, a constant source of unpleasant discussion and friction.
my opinion remains...either take the kid with the mother as is and stay out of their shit, or find a different girl.
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11-23-2008, 09:20 PM #33
My wife and I went through this. I pushed her to do something about her deadbeat x husband and when she finally did, it made things worse. The court system wants the father in the kids life, so all he has to say is, I want a 50/50 custody. Chances are he'll get it. (for a while at least) and you will forever be going back to court. Oh, he's a pot head, doesn't matter, If she wants drug testing, She will have to pay for it. AND the court can say all parties and their significant others will have to submit as well. When all is said and done, the only one that matters is the child, NOT YOU! It is HER decision and not yours, don't push it, it's none of your business. My wife always said, 'It's not worth time or money, I don't want him to think I need anything from him'. You know what? She was right. Just support her in her decision.
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11-23-2008, 09:51 PM #34Anabolic Member
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^^^^^ there's another good point
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11-24-2008, 05:26 PM #35
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11-24-2008, 05:54 PM #36Stupid
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I understand that you are looking out for her best interest, but to be honest, unless you are having to support them with your own money, it's none of your business. Its her decision to make whether or not she wants to do something and I don't think you should be getting into arguments with anyone, have you ever thought that it's just easier for her to let it go than to have to constantly fight with someone, maybe she doesn't want the extra stress right now.
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11-24-2008, 05:57 PM #37
^^^ you GO girl !
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11-24-2008, 08:06 PM #38
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11-25-2008, 08:28 PM #39
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11-25-2008, 08:28 PM #40
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