Let the Freak Show Begin!!!

**hellapimpin** · 04-15-2009, 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

On a business trip to Japan I had a CEO send a painted girl to the room. She never spoke unitl we were having sex and she started screaming (sounds like) "no key ocha dona" over and over. THe next day while on the golf course I hit a birdie and proudly stated "no key ocha dona" trying to impress...the CEO looked at me agast and said "What you mean wrong hole?"

lmao!

**Dukkit** · 04-15-2009, 06:30 AM

scariest and most messed up thing a girl ever said to me during sexual intercourse was....

"i love you"

i ran for the fukkin hills!!!!!!!

**scerpico22** · 04-15-2009, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

On a business trip to Japan I had a CEO send a painted girl to the room. She never spoke unitl we were having sex and she started screaming (sounds like) "no key ocha dona" over and over. THe next day while on the golf course I hit a birdie and proudly stated "no key ocha dona" trying to impress...the CEO looked at me agast and said "What you mean wrong hole?"

Granny story still #1 - played that in my mind and damn that was a fowl image.

***D7M*** · 04-15-2009, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

scariest and most messed up thing a girl ever said to me during sexual intercourse was....

"i love you"

i ran for the fukkin hills!!!!!!!

we have a winner!

how about this one:

after sex she turns to me and says:

"I want to have your abortion"

j/k. that was a deleted scene from Fight Club. Pretty fvcked up tho.

**sonysucks** · 04-15-2009, 08:57 AM

" it would be okay if your high school GF was here with you!"
Seriously...wow I couldnt believe it.

**Gaspari1255** · 04-15-2009, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by scerpico22

Granny story still #1 - played that in my mind and damn that was a fowl image.

Even though its a sick and sadistic story...Would you bang a granny for the next 10 years or so if you were almost certain that you were going to inherit close to a mill?

***D7M*** · 04-15-2009, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by ******

Would you bang a granny for the next 10 years or so if you were almost certain that you were going to inherit close to a mill?

without hesitation.

I'd need that shit in writing first though

**Dukkit** · 04-15-2009, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by derek7m

without hesitation.

I'd need that shit in writing first though

im with ya on that one

id do it no problem

but id need to see the will and make sure she didnt change it/take me out of it before she died

**Gaspari1255** · 04-15-2009, 09:50 AM

eh, I think I am with you guys on this one. Don't know how I would get it up to her though. I guess the sexy nurse outfit, a gram of test, and alcohol might be the winning combination.

**Gaspari1255** · 04-15-2009, 09:51 AM

AND a wolf shit

RA · 04-15-2009, 09:54 AM

No grannys for me. Ive had some opportunities to go after chics that were totally loaded. Not me.

**DCannon** · 04-15-2009, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

On a business trip to Japan I had a CEO send a painted girl to the room. She never spoke unitl we were having sex and she started screaming (sounds like) "no key ocha dona" over and over. THe next day while on the golf course I hit a birdie and proudly stated "no key ocha dona" trying to impress...the CEO looked at me agast and said "What you mean wrong hole?"

Hahaha that's a good one man, still laughing.

**CBGB** · 04-15-2009, 10:10 AM

I had a chick tell me no once. But it was more like NO NO NOOOOOOOO!

**calgarian** · 04-15-2009, 10:34 AM

I have been told that I am a "Lick master"
Once..."u realize that the boobs are attached to my body and it hurt when u do this"

**MASTER** · 04-15-2009, 10:43 AM

"Why don't you like me," followed by crying. It was during pct and I was absolutely wasted and couldn't get mini me to stand to attention.

**CBGB** · 04-15-2009, 11:07 AM

I forgot about one.
I went back home while I was in college and hooked up with this chick I went to high school with. When we were finished she said "I can't tell you how long I have been waiting to get this close to you." Started to tell me how much she had always loved me. I ended up going out to get more beer and not comming back.

**Matt** · 04-15-2009, 11:15 AM

Is my husband watching putting you off....

**Schmidty** · 04-15-2009, 11:46 AM

my x said"OMG Chase" i wouldnt have minded had my name been chase butlast time i checked its not lol.

**ni4ni** · 04-15-2009, 05:32 PM

some biittch bit my fucing chest-nice chuck of flesh I might add.
holy $hit that hurt.

**higherdesire** · 04-15-2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by ******

AND a wolf shit

Wolf shit would be the secret! He meant shirt for all the newbs!

BTW, I would need to be taken REAL good care of in the meantime!

**jbm** · 04-16-2009, 01:26 AM

be careful I'm still a virgin!

**JiGGaMaN** · 04-16-2009, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by CHUCKYthentic

One of my ex's always wanted to squirt on me while i was banging her

trust me guys, a girl that can squirt is NOT COOL, it gets old after a while and very messy to clean up, very

you realize she pissed on you right? why do people think theres such thing as "squirting"??? it defies all logic...

**higherdesire** · 04-16-2009, 10:47 AM

squirting is legit.

**Dukkit** · 04-16-2009, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

squirting is legit.

oh yes it is

ive lost count of the number of girls ive gotten to squirt

and ive even had it squirted right in my mouth

and its not piss. ive tasted piss. def not piss. squirting has a different flavor to it. almost no flavor really. hard to explain. find out for yourself

**calgarian** · 04-16-2009, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

squirting is legit.

it is legit...i have seen it and yes its tasteless....but what a fvcking turn on.

**Schmidty** · 04-16-2009, 11:42 AM

its real very real

**JiGGaMaN** · 04-16-2009, 12:21 PM

im still skeptical. its not documented by any scientific literature, and no one has a reasonable explanation for it. plus, it seems to be a relatively new phenomena, like girls just started doing it 10 years ago. you will never have heard of it before then. evolution maybe?

**higherdesire** · 04-16-2009, 12:27 PM

I was playing with my ex on the couch one night while she was pregnant, the lights were on, and it happend. It was truly amazing. That was the first time I had ever seen or heard of it. SHe freaked out and started crying, but more because it felt so good to her.

**CHUCKYthentic** · 04-16-2009, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

you realize she pissed on you right? why do people think theres such thing as "squirting"??? it defies all logic...

Are you kidding man? LOL

Its not piss you idiot! It has happened several times with several girls, some know how to do it some dont

Maybe try and get with some more girls and maybe you ll find out little buddy, if not then check it out in some porn. Thatll probably be your best chance

**Schmidty** · 04-17-2009, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

im still skeptical. its not documented by any scientific literature, and no one has a reasonable explanation for it. plus, it seems to be a relatively new phenomena, like girls just started doing it 10 years ago. you will never have heard of it before then. evolution maybe?

LOFL W would the women squirting evolve into??? I women feels threatened and cums at u wtf

**jamyjamjr** · 04-17-2009, 12:16 AM

my ex would want me to fcuk her mouth while she played with herself... god i love porn stars... i need to bag me another one

**jamyjamjr** · 04-17-2009, 12:18 AM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

im still skeptical. its not documented by any scientific literature, and no one has a reasonable explanation for it. plus, it seems to be a relatively new phenomena, like girls just started doing it 10 years ago. you will never have heard of it before then. evolution maybe?

jigga, u gotta be kiddin man!!!!

iv seen it first hand...

**CSAR** · 04-17-2009, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

On a business trip to Japan I had a CEO send a painted girl to the room. She never spoke unitl we were having sex and she started screaming (sounds like) "no key ocha dona" over and over. THe next day while on the golf course I hit a birdie and proudly stated "no key ocha dona" trying to impress...the CEO looked at me agast and said "What you mean wrong hole?"

Dude, I don't know what you're trying to say, but "no key ocha dona" is nonsense. You either made this story up or you FUBAR'ed the Japanese.

A Japanese woman and a painted girl at that (I know she wasn't a geisha. A real geisha would not have even looked at a foreigner.) would have told you;
"Chigau yo!" (That's wrong.),
"Dame!" (Forbidden.),
"Yada!" (No way.), or
"Itai!" (It hurts.).

Most likely (if this story is even true), you got laid by a Chinese or Korean prostitute who pretended to be a geisha.

Plus, I've heard this tale before, so I'm not buying it.

**higherdesire** · 04-17-2009, 06:15 AM

Settle down snitch! It was a fvcking joke jap! That what I say about professors, always fvcking up a good story! What up czar? DO me a favor and stop putting me on blast! I have other jokes on the forum to dont tell anyone ok? thanks.

**PIGPEN8181** · 04-17-2009, 05:20 PM

A much older woman, i was 21 and she was 50, and she attacked me like she was 21. she said "you like to be tied up?" I went along with it and let her do it, and that was a good but bad idea. She rode me for so damn long, felt like my unit fell off. Had no sex for a week because it hurt so bad. Gotta love them older women.

**BritishColumbian** · 04-17-2009, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

Settle down snitch! It was a fvcking joke jap! That what I say about professors, always fvcking up a good story! What up czar? DO me a favor and stop putting me on blast! I have other jokes on the forum to dont tell anyone ok? thanks.

LOL ya, no shit sherlock, Czar must be a cop.

***Doc.Sust*** · 04-17-2009, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

im still skeptical. its not documented by any scientific literature, and no one has a reasonable explanation for it. plus, it seems to be a relatively new phenomena, like girls just started doing it 10 years ago. you will never have heard of it before then. evolution maybe?

i dont have any literature to back it, but trust me it happens.

i used to date a girl who like to get objects shoved in her ass and **** while i chocked her with a belt and not normal objects, big objects like lysol cans ,32oz water bottles and wiffle ball bats. she also like to get slapped and hit, which i had a hard time doing. after fcuking this girl i had a hard time getting off with regular sex with any other girl. she also like to get pissed on, yep she was a total lunatic

**CSAR** · 04-18-2009, 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

Settle down snitch! It was a fvcking joke jap! That what I say about professors, always fvcking up a good story! What up czar? DO me a favor and stop putting me on blast! I have other jokes on the forum to dont tell anyone ok? thanks.

Oops! My bad....

**Phate** · 04-18-2009, 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

im still skeptical. its not documented by any scientific literature, and no one has a reasonable explanation for it. plus, it seems to be a relatively new phenomena, like girls just started doing it 10 years ago. you will never have heard of it before then. evolution maybe?

you should look up g-spot, there would be some evidence for you