Not really sure what to do about this....GF's sister things she was sexually assulted

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 03:52 PM

The answer should be obvious, call the state police.

She did not tell me directly, it apparently happend late Sunday night. She was visiting friends a few hours away in college, she attends locally and is 18.

Her friend had a guy over, described as a "dirt ball".

She drank too much, her drinking has been a problem for 2 years now and according to her friend, was out with in an hour.

When she woke up, she had her pants on, but her underwear were torn apart pretty bad and not on her. She felt very sore, and the conclusion is obvious.

My girl told me about it 10 minutes ago. She asked me not to say anything, and she is going to the health department tomorrow.

The girl, does not want to tell anyone else, her parents, me or anything. I only know, because my girl friend is upset and vented to me about it.

My delima, is I don't want this guy to just get away with it. He'll probably do it again or do it until he is in trouble for it. I am friends with the local magistrate and a local detective and would like to have one of them talk to her. In doing so, she may despise me for bringing it to the attention of other people. If she were to have to take the stand in court, I know it would be hard for her to face.

At the same time, I feel if she will not face this now, it will haunt her for the rest of her life.

**Nooomoto** · 02-16-2010, 04:08 PM

Wouldn't bother man...chicks like that are determined to ride that downward spiral until the very end before they wake up.

As Project Pat says "Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved"

It's in the college safety handbook...don't get shitfaced and pass out around a bunch of people.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by Nooomoto

Wouldn't bother man...chicks like that are determined to ride that downward spiral until the very end before they wake up.

As Project Pat says "Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved"

It's in the college safety handbook...don't get shitfaced and pass out around a bunch of people.

If she was not asking for help, she would not have told her big sister. It's an embarrassing thing for her, she probably feels at fault, because you respond like many would, "should not have got that drunk"

Just because a girl is passed out, does not mean you have permission to do as you please with her.

I just told my girl if they do not press action at the health department, I'm having a detective talk with her.

**alexISthrowed** · 02-16-2010, 04:13 PM

Do you know the name of the guy? can you find out where he lives?

**BJJ** · 02-16-2010, 04:14 PM

Do you know who the guy is?
Was there any trace of sperm?

**Nooomoto** · 02-16-2010, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Just because a girl is passed out, does not mean you have permission to do as you please with her.

Of course not...if you knew who the dude was I'd say go knock his teeth in. That being said...you don't want any part of what this girls life is going to become. I've got plenty of experience with women that have drinking problems, and I can assure you it's not cool.

If she's already been rocking for 2 years now, she's got a long way to go and I promise that this is just the beginning.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by BJJ

Do you know who the guy is?
Was there any trace of sperm?

My thoughts exactly,

I'm assuming it's too late to make use of a rape kit as it happened late sunday night, or early Monday morning, and it's Tuesday evening now.

Her friend knows the guy, I'm unsure how much she knows about him or of him.

Even if he can't be arrested, at least she is not sweeping it under the rug and can hopefully get some advice from professionals with coping. Not only that, is taking responsibility for the bad things that can happen to girls when they drink too much. Her fault or not, there are bad people out there.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Nooomoto

Of course not...if you knew who the dude was I'd say go knock his teeth in. That being said...you don't want any part of what this girls life is going to become. I've got plenty of experience with women that have drinking problems, and I can assure you it's not cool.

If she's already been rocking for 2 years now, she's got a long way to go and I promise that this is just the beginning.

Ya, I know. I guess I just hope this might be an experience that she has to confront her drinking too. By hiding it, she never has to deal with anything.

**BJJ** · 02-16-2010, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

My thoughts exactly,

I'm assuming it's too late to make use of a rape kit as it happened late sunday night, or early Monday morning, and it's Tuesday evening now.

Her friend knows the guy, I'm unsure how much she knows about him or of him.

Even if he can't be arrested, at least she is not sweeping it under the rug and can hopefully get some advice from professionals with coping. Not only that, is taking responsibility for the bad things that can happen to girls when they drink too much. Her fault or not, there are bad people out there.

If you care about your GF's sister, I would go speaking with him face to face in a quite place to figure out if he did it or not.
In case, do not use violence or you might become the one on the wrong side.
Also, I would bring a voice recorder and record the entire speech, you never know.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by BJJ

If you care about your GF's sister, I would go speaking with him face to face in a quite place to figure out if he did it or not.
In case, do not use violence or you might become the one on the wrong side.
Also, I would bring a voice recorder and record the entire speech, you never know.

I have no idea who he is, I'd have to do my own whole investigation and contact her friend to find out.

I guess maybe I'm responding to it as a upset father would be? I don't want to make an emotional choice because it's upsetting, but a solid logical choice and thought out for the best for her and not so much my vengeance or to make me feel better?

**BJJ** · 02-16-2010, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

I have no idea who he is, I'd have to do my own whole investigation and contact her friend to find out.

I guess maybe I'm responding to it as a upset father would be? I don't want to make an emotional choice because it's upsetting, but a solid logical choice and thought out for the best for her and not so much my vengeance or to make me feel better?

If I was thinking about a revenge, which in most cases leaves you with nothing after being accomplished, I would have suggested you to do something else.

While my intention, if I were you, was to help your GF's sister by facing the guy.
The best way to realize a problem is to face it and the best way to solve a problem is to go through of it.
She needs to realize why that occurrence happened (she was drunk), who perpetrated that action in case (the guy), and the way not to make that occurrence happen again (by changing her attitude).

In this way you will help her, IMO.

**Teufel_Hunden** · 02-16-2010, 05:32 PM

Find out who he is. Stalk his daily activities, murder him. Dispose of the body. This is what he deserves anyway.

**Eddie_m63** · 02-16-2010, 05:49 PM

Well is her word against his. He can always go with it was mutual, there were no witnesses and she was drunk as hell. Was he drunk as well? Maybe that would teach her a lesson not to get drunk with strangers. If you really want to make him pay just pay him a visit and cut his cut his freaking dick, that would teach him.

**Hunter** · 02-16-2010, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Eddie_m63

Well is her word against his. He can always go with it was mutual, there were no witnesses and she was drunk as hell. Was he drunk as well? Maybe that would teach her a lesson not to get drunk with strangers. If you really want to make him pay just pay him a visit and cut his cut his freaking dick, that would teach him.

Seriously? Something should be learned the hard way, this is not one of them. Would you say the same thing if it was your sister?

**Dctibor** · 02-16-2010, 06:28 PM

Knock him unconscious, cut his dick and balls off, freeze them for a few months, mail them to him with a note saying "Is this what you were looking for?"

**Polska** · 02-16-2010, 06:41 PM

I would not get involved in this mess, especially if her sister didn't ask for help herself. I understand it's embarrassing for her but come on, if she doesn't have the sense to try to get this guy charged then why should you do it for her? I know it sounds cold but she put herself in a vulnerable position and got taken advantage of. This bastard deserves to get his teeth knocked out and more but I wouldn't have any part in it if I were you. If anything talk to your girlfriend and tell her to encourage her sister to talk to the police. If she's been on this kind of slope it's bound to happen to her again. She has to take charge of her own life

**marcus300** · 02-16-2010, 06:44 PM

This needs reporting without doubt, you have no idea if he as done this before and what he is capable of doing in the future.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 11:45 PM

Originally Posted by Polska

I would not get involved in this mess, especially if her sister didn't ask for help herself. I understand it's embarrassing for her but come on, if she doesn't have the sense to try to get this guy charged then why should you do it for her? I know it sounds cold but she put herself in a vulnerable position and got taken advantage of. This bastard deserves to get his teeth knocked out and more but I wouldn't have any part in it if I were you. If anything talk to your girlfriend and tell her to encourage her sister to talk to the police. If she's been on this kind of slope it's bound to happen to her again. She has to take charge of her own life

Judging from the responses, obviously there is no clear cut and dry answer.

But some times, a girl who is 18, just getting a drivers license and graduating from high school, lacks the support to always make the right choice in a situation like this.

It's not a matter of her sense, but because I know about it, my character comes into play as well.

But I do agree with you, and I hope she did learn her lesson and hopefully this will make her more responsible. At the same time, the poor girl lives and home, and her mom lets her leave town, and visit friends like this. Maybe I'm over protective, but to me, that's bad parenting, and I feel bad she's never had guidance or someone to help her avoid learning life lessons the hard way.

I'm upset with her, and my girl friend both over it, so I understand when you guys say she should not have put herself into that position. I've already talked to my girl friend, to try to set an example of a strong, well thought out woman for her.

She has an appointment tomorrow at the health department because she will need a "plan b" pill. My girl friend talked her into telling the story then, and I'm hoping they have enough sense to contact the police at that point. But, government employee's, you never know with them.

Given she is only 18, always lived at home, not had the best guidance, and only me and my girlfriend know about it some of the responsibility does fall into my lap, and when she comes over, or I see her, I'd like to know I tried instead of turning my back to it.

**J-Dogg** · 02-16-2010, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by Eddie_m63

Well is her word against his. He can always go with it was mutual, there were no witnesses and she was drunk as hell. Was he drunk as well? Maybe that would teach her a lesson not to get drunk with strangers. If you really want to make him pay just pay him a visit and cut his cut his freaking dick, that would teach him.

It's her word against his, and some ripped up panties, and her 2 friends knowing she was unconscious.

I'm sure it's enough to deem an arrest, or at least an investigation. I'd assume he just takes a plea anyway to save her the discomfort of testifying in court.

**lovbyts** · 02-17-2010, 12:41 AM

Without reading what everyone else said this is MY opinion.

What the guy did was wrong. He is a dirt bag for doing it.

She is wrong for putting herself in that situation. She is not 12 years old and does not know better. What girl does not know if she gets drunk, passes out she is what some consider fair game. No it's not right but it's reality.

If you get drunk and drive you might kill someone, yourself or get a DUI, you know this before you got drunk. She knew this before she got drunk and she is also underage, to young to drink so she should not be drinking.

Maybe this is what she needs to straighten up. Nothing you do will change what happened. Nothing YOU do will change her drinking habit. Maybe this will.

Ill watch for the video on PornTube latest uploads..s

**shayn0mercy** · 02-17-2010, 12:46 AM

what a goof bastard... if i was in a situation like that i would probably go and waste a bunch of bullets on that dude.. i hate goofs like that.. they would defenatly not like getting assulted like that while they are sleeping and waking up sore like that.... but most likely i would beat the living shit out of him, stomp his face in and kick his nutts in a few to many times. then i'd tell all the solid dudes out there who agree that he needs a beating from every real dude..

**Ernst** · 02-17-2010, 01:03 AM

What are these responses from people saying leave it alone? You want this creep out there? Like you don't have a girl you care about who never got too drunk. Maybe they don't always have to be drunk. He's just an opportunist. Your mother/sister/wife/girlfriend/niece... daughter...

Do the world a huge favor and kill him.

**Bojangles69** · 02-17-2010, 01:19 AM

What bothers me isn't the people saying leave it alone but the people who are so quick to make judgements about her drinking.
If anything, she may have ALREADY been raped when she was younger which could have easily drove her into drinking in the first place. Being sexually assualted myself obviously I never wanted a single soul to know about it, but I held it in for 8 years and used every drug I could to forget it.

Whether or not she goes to the police right now doesn't seem that important to me. Theres a good chance this scum will get away scott free like my aggressor did. But kharmas a mfkr because he died just a few years later from an overdose.
I can tell you its an ugly world and to go find the guy but the most important thing you can do is get her in therapy or have her in some sort of rape group.

Realistically speaking to get to that point she needs to get help for the alcohol first, otherwise shell be too numb to the world to care. Thats A LOT of work for you to do. I don't know your relationship with the girl but I would absolutely try to have a conversation with this girl to see where her head is at.
She could blow her head off by next week for all you know.
You have no obligation to do anything but if it was ME I would def try to talk to her and recommend rehab so she can get some therapy and move past this shit.

If she doesn't decide to go so be it, but its not going to take a lot of energy to try. I would be more curious about her mental health right now, alcoholics arent all bad/fvcked up people. A lot of them wake up everyday wishing they could be someone else. I'd try to break the cycle and talk some sense into her. She needs to get help, if she refuses no big fvckn deal. You don't have to play the daddy role but christ sake have some compassion and at min talk to her, see whats going on, if shes suicidal, if shes open to rehab/therapy/etc. Good luck, its a rough situation.

**DangerDave** · 02-17-2010, 01:25 AM

You cannot let this slide, you cannot brush this under the rug. This is SERIOUS. Regardless of how drunk she was and regardless of her drinking habits, if she was sexually assaulted by some scumbag something needs to be done about it.

Confront the guy about it, record it like BJJ said, get ths cops involved, DO SOMETHING. This could ruin her life.

Its amazing how some put the blame on her. Just cos she was pissed its her fault. WRONG. In what world are woman held accountable for being taken advantage of at the age of 18, regardless of whether or not they have been drinking. She is 18 and stupid, we all were at that age. Dont let someone take advantage of that.

Do something about this

**fattymcbutterpants** · 02-17-2010, 01:37 AM

ok by all means i agree that was extremely fvcked up and the guy should have the sh!t beaten out of him with a crowbar.

But what I dont get is why wouldnt the guy just stay in the bed or wherever they did it with her so when they wake up it doesnt make it look like she was raped or something?

Now that I type that, that sounds really messed up

**Hunter** · 02-17-2010, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

What bothers me isn't the people saying leave it alone but the people who are so quick to make judgements about her drinking.
If anything, she may have ALREADY been raped when she was younger which could have easily drove her into drinking in the first place. Being sexually assualted myself obviously I never wanted a single soul to know about it, but I held it in for 8 years and used every drug I could to forget it.

Whether or not she goes to the police right now doesn't seem that important to me. Theres a good chance this scum will get away scott free like my aggressor did. But kharmas a mfkr because he died just a few years later from an overdose.
I can tell you its an ugly world and to go find the guy but the most important thing you can do is get her in therapy or have her in some sort of rape group.

Realistically speaking to get to that point she needs to get help for the alcohol first, otherwise shell be too numb to the world to care. Thats A LOT of work for you to do. I don't know your relationship with the girl but I would absolutely try to have a conversation with this girl to see where her head is at.
She could blow her head off by next week for all you know.
You have no obligation to do anything but if it was ME I would def try to talk to her and recommend rehab so she can get some therapy and move past this shit.

If she doesn't decide to go so be it, but its not going to take a lot of energy to try. I would be more curious about her mental health right now, alcoholics arent all bad/fvcked up people. A lot of them wake up everyday wishing they could be someone else. I'd try to break the cycle and talk some sense into her. She needs to get help, if she refuses no big fvckn deal. You don't have to play the daddy role but christ sake have some compassion and at min talk to her, see whats going on, if shes suicidal, if shes open to rehab/therapy/etc. Good luck, its a rough situation.

very good post bo.

PT · 02-17-2010, 04:51 AM

if this happened to me i would bury the fuker. i would keep him tied and gagged in my basement for a few days and beat him an inch within his life. after i felt he suffered enough i would cut his throat and happily watch him bleed out. screw the judicial system, its a joke. i say kill all rapists and child molesters because there always repeat offenders

**Hunter** · 02-17-2010, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by PT

if this happened to me i would bury the fuker. i would keep him tied and gagged in my basement for a few days and beat him an inch within his life. after i felt he suffered enough i would cut his throat and happily watch him bleed out. screw the judicial system, its a joke. i say kill all rapists and child molesters because there always repeat offenders

x2 anyone willing to rape or molest is defiantly willing to kill the victim to keep there secret.

**lovbyts** · 02-17-2010, 06:09 AM

You guys also seem to forget that MANY women/girls get drunk, NOT passed out, get a little wild and CLAIM later they are rapped. I'm not saying that is what happen here but many are quick to jump on the guy and even say kill him.

To many women are taking advantage of the system and blaming others for their own actions. Women can legally be engaged in a sexual act with someone (a guy) and decide in the middle of everything to say Hmmm no stop I dont want this and even if the guy stops she can still claim rape. WTF is with that? Yes there are dirt bags who do the date rape thing. But the pendulum seems to have swung from one extreme of no blame to every guy is guilty.

Sorry but I have know people who have been falsely accused. I have been falsely accused of DIFFERENT things (Divorce) and I have seen shows where guys in jail even admit they killed someone because they where told by a family member he had rapped or molested someone but later found out AFTER the person was dead it was a false accusation.

**Flagg** · 02-17-2010, 06:54 AM

This is a difficult situation, mainly because the longer it is left, the harder this will be to prove, and secondly if she was unconsiouse the whole time, there is no witness, not even the victim.

And as circumstantial as the whole thing looks, there is no evidence of anything having happened at all.

I'd recommend this girl go and see a doctor at the very least immediately. If this guy has assaulted, and has sexual intercourse, she will have no idea if she is now carrying an STD.

I find rapists to be the lowest of the low, but proving rape is really difficult, and under the circumstances revealed by JDogg im not sure how she is going to be able to press charges.

But she definitely needs to get checked up if she really feels she's been assaulted. If this guy has done something and is a dirtball, theres a good chance he didnt even use protection.

**energizer bunny** · 02-17-2010, 07:34 AM

wow.......this is one of the worst positions to be in, if it were my sister i would be doing some jail time.....but thinking about it, id talk to her explain that you will support her all the way and that she should not feel scared or embarased ( everyone is entitled to drink or whatever and STILL be safe!)......but whether the guy gets prosecuted or not, maybe 1 year maybe more down the line...i woluld 100% be getting pay back.....

**FranciscoG** · 02-17-2010, 08:46 AM

Besides what have been set. What pieces of shit her friends are, I mean really.

They tell her the guy is a dirt bag. Then they leave her there alone.

Hell with friends like that who needs enemies?

To be realistic the cops are prob not gonna do this because as soon as the so called friends are questioned and faced with accessory to sexual assult, they just gonna gonna save thier own asses. I bet the friends will make it sound like she was all into him.

**Mooseman33** · 02-17-2010, 08:49 AM

damm this is tough.
make sure she did not black out and forget she wanted it.

if that didnt happen, PT had good advice, but there will be DNA left at scene.
this guy has to pay, there is no way around it. he needs to be erased.

i hope ur girls sister is ok man, no-one deserves that to happen.

**Diamond*K** · 02-17-2010, 09:18 AM

man sum ppl are sick.

sadly i have 2 say it happens all the time. and i can understand how she feels embarrassed. especially when your so young too.. you really dont kno how wrong it is.

like when i was 16/17 i had a bf... he lied 2 me about his age. and the guy was actaully 36.. not 28. and i was so dumb stayed with the guy anyways and didnt tell ppl his real age coz i liked him so much. when i met him i nvr had any sexual experience.. no oral.. nothing! well me and him got pretty physical. i had been with him for just over 2 months and we were at that stage of fooling around a lot ... well the asshole waits for a good time and tries 2 put his d*ck in me and i tried pushing away but he was a lot stronger and pushed my hips dwn.

of course im only a month from turning 17 and im convinced that im falling for him. so i nvr said anything. needless to say we didnt keep having sex that day coz he said i looked up set and he felt bad. too bad the nxt day his guilt was gone.. and i was stupid enough 2 think being with him was a good idea

when girls are young.. we will justify why you guys can treat us like crap... its sad....

**Reed** · 02-17-2010, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by BJJ

Do you know who the guy is?
Was there any trace of sperm?

Well to further this I believe sperm can last inside a woman for up to 3-5 days (possibly longer?) so it might be something to think about just in case he did cum inside her... DNA test, her becoming pregnant.....

**ATrain311** · 02-17-2010, 11:41 AM

Similar situation happened to a friend of mine. we were at my friends house after coming back from the bars and my friend katherine went to go pass out in the guest room. Apparently this scum bag went in there and raped her while she passed out. She came out of the room a hour later crying to me and saying she was rapped. I ended up breaking the faggot's jaw and he got arrested. The sad thing was that she was too afraid to testify and he only got charged with possession of weed. She ended up moving away and has been unstable ever since.

That girl needs to deal with the fact she was rapped and get therapy or something. otherwise it will ruin her life worse than the drinking problem will.

**Mooseman33** · 02-17-2010, 11:47 AM

rape makes me want to kill people.
i cant watch that shit on tv/movies.

i fvking hate anyone who ever participates in raping someone...my blood is boiling right now..i want this fvk to die.

**Kratos** · 02-17-2010, 11:52 AM

she needed to get a rape kit done within 72 hours
an exam after that is not very likely to get dna evidence
but other information can be gathered, bruises, lacerations

at this point she should report it to the police and they will do an investigation
but nothing much will happen since she doesn't even know she was raped
they'll at least find out who the guy was by talking to people and question him
maybe he'll do something stupid like say..."yeah we had sex, but it was consentual," say anything they can use against him.

in the future tell her to go to a hospital right away
tuesday afternoon would not have been too late

**BJJ** · 02-17-2010, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by diamond-krys

man sum ppl are sick.

sadly i have 2 say it happens all the time. and i can understand how she feels embarrassed. especially when your so young too.. you really dont kno how wrong it is.

like when i was 16/17 i had a bf... he lied 2 me about his age. and the guy was actaully 36.. not 28. and i was so dumb stayed with the guy anyways and didnt tell ppl his real age coz i liked him so much. when i met him i nvr had any sexual experience.. no oral.. nothing! well me and him got pretty physical. i had been with him for just over 2 months and we were at that stage of fooling around a lot ... well the asshole waits for a good time and tries 2 put his d*ck in me and i tried pushing away but he was a lot stronger and pushed my hips dwn.

of course im only a month from turning 17 and im convinced that im falling for him. so i nvr said anything. needless to say we didnt keep having sex that day coz he said i looked up set and he felt bad. too bad the nxt day his guilt was gone.. and i was stupid enough 2 think being with him was a good idea

when girls are young.. we will justify why you guys can treat us like crap... its sad....

The experience you reported happened also to my very first girl friend when she was 16 with the difference she was deeply penetrated.
How did you cope with that experience?

Originally Posted by Reed

Well to further this I believe sperm can last inside a woman for up to 3-5 days (possibly longer?) so it might be something to think about just in case he did cum inside her... DNA test, her becoming pregnant.....

The idiot, I am sure, did cum inside!

**elpropiotorvic** · 02-17-2010, 01:28 PM

So... A young girl starts drinking, she has not much of parent figure, she goes to her friends house who has one friend (dirtball) over, she gets really drunk until she passes out, she is left in a room? (where exactly was she left?) where a guy creeps in ?(it's important to know this because the judge will want to know) and the day after when she wakes up (where does she wake up? In the washroom in the bedroom in the couch?) and sees her underwear torn and feels sore.

So in brief summary
goes to friend house
friend has dirtball over
girl gets drunk
girl wakes up with torn underwear

so at all this where was the girlfriend ? If dirtball was the only other person there why whey they left alone ? I'm sorry man not saying raping or molesting is fine but something is not adding up tell ur gf to really speak in details

maybe I'm just being too dumb (if that's the case I'm sorry)