I need tips. Losing my friends.

**Td00** · 05-12-2010, 12:54 PM

I have a group of 8 good friends, i'm 22 and so are they, they used to be athletic and cared about their bodies 2 years ago, they used to be good sportsmen.

*I'm not a bodybuilder, i don't plan on being so, i just go to the gym 3 days a week and have a good diet.

Now they drink and go clubbing saturday and sunday + some workday nights. They pressured me so much and i feared of losing them as friends so i gave up and joined their drinking madness for 2 months, as expected i lost some of my hard gained mass, but i'm back to training and i'm almost done on getting back the mass i lost but i'm not partying with them anymore and i believe i'm losing them. They're good people and they're good friends, they just don't care about sports anymore and our lifestyles don't match anymore.

So things for me are friends vs. gym now. I really fear of becoming a lonely guy without friends and now without a girlfriend, and thanks to them i meet girls, so if i leave them, i'd lose pretty much all my social life.

Any tips on keeping my friends, or meeting new friends and girls at the gym? I need them badly.

I gotta go to the gym now! Have a nice training everyone!.

**Shawn** · 05-12-2010, 01:02 PM

you need to learn to not let your training get in the way of your personal life so much. for example if they are going on on a friday night, make sure you're done all ur training by 9pm then head out till like 11-12 and have a couple drinks, if they go clubbing then dance, thats good exercise. you need to try to get the best of both worlds here.

**Nooomoto** · 05-12-2010, 01:06 PM

I know how it goes, dude. I had to turn down my buds the other night. They wanted to go out drinking, but I told them I can't due to my "training"...luckily for me my friends are cool enough to understand.

You just need to find the right balance. You can go hang with them, just don't get shitfaced. It takes discipline but it can be done. Hell you can even be the designated driver. Every drunk appreciates one of those.

**calgarian** · 05-12-2010, 01:12 PM

Y its always assumed that drinking always mean alcohol??? coke, Pepsi, gingerale what happened to them? whats wrong going out with buddies and just drink soft drinks?

**spywizard** · 05-12-2010, 01:13 PM

yea..

**cobra305** · 05-12-2010, 01:30 PM

Life goes on, make new friends that are into the same sh&t you are. This is part of growing up. You should also not be relying on them to get you women, grow a pair and p/u your own bitches.

**6ft5** · 05-12-2010, 01:33 PM

Man I got a bunch of buddies. Altho I grew up a disturbed kid partying, drugs whatever.. I've been pretty chill for a long time. Your freinds will always be your freinds. I choose not to go out most the time due to work, food, time, money, ect. But on friday night I'm gona do sumthin, unless I feel like I got hit by a truck, like I do now. Lol

**Hazard** · 05-12-2010, 01:44 PM

theres nothing wrong with partying once in a while.....

you don't have to go out with them every friday/saturday..... Just workout hard and stick to your diet all week long. Maybe go out every other week.... theres no reason to cut off your social life....

~Haz~

**beatango2008** · 05-12-2010, 02:52 PM

Do what you love man, Its hard to keep close friends in our type of lifestyle, or even find a girl friend for that matter, because girls are going to always want to eat out and all that crap.
If they respect you as a friend then they will understand that you can't go out every night of the week and drink, or when you do go out with them, kick back and drink water or diet coke.
Or better yet, find some new friends that share your same interest .

**gettingthere** · 05-12-2010, 03:00 PM

Its a tough one man!! to be honest im close to being in the same position, i am now trying to play the no money card and cant afford to go out, im gonna try this for as long as possible!!

Right now i have exams so its easy get outta it, dreading wen they finish though, gott think of some good excuses then

**RuhlFreak55** · 05-12-2010, 03:34 PM

Welcome to Ruhl's world....

**lovbyts** · 05-12-2010, 04:15 PM

Part of it is just life. You will see some of them less and less frequently if not for this reason for others. If not by your choice/decisions by theirs. Someone will get married, move away, find new friends. it's all part of life.

Dont let them influence you into things you dont want to do. I have many friends who use to do that to me or try. later I figured out it was more of a jealousy thing because they always started to saying they where stopping this or that like I did.... most of the time they never did but I never gave them grief for it.

Go out sometimes if you want to. Find a good balance and you dont have to drink. I go out all the time without drinking. All my friends keep asking me what is my SECRET to being in shape now.... I LOL and say you KNOW I have been in the gym 5x a week for 2+ years and you see me eat. That is the secret. When was the last time you went? When was the last time you went 5x a week? It gets the point across.

Dont let it get you down. It's just life. The one thing that will always stay the same is change.

**DSM4Life** · 05-12-2010, 04:18 PM

Balance.

Remember you only live once.

**vanduhl** · 05-12-2010, 05:24 PM

go out n order a seltzer with lime or a sprite with a lime...looks like a mixed drink...then grind on some *****...get laid...train the next day and repeat. havin a group of buddies to hang out with is very important man, dont let anything take that away..not even training.

**Igifuno** · 05-12-2010, 06:00 PM

People change as the get older. You and your friends change in different ways but as someone else said, they'll still be your friends if they're true friends. Its just that you have other interests and they need to respect that.

**Td00** · 05-12-2010, 06:02 PM

Thank you a lot for all the replyies! They've helped me a lot.

In here there's a strong drinking culture, guys and girls drink a lot, so it's kinda hard to stay away from it. I really don't know much people that doesn't drink a lot in here at parties. But i'm staying away from it. And come on,.. it's kinda awkward being the only sober guy at a party and tempting to drink too lol.

Once a smart guy told me to stop clubbing and going to house parties for meeting new people. That i should meet people at places or activities i like, and that's the gym. I just do my routine and leave, and sometimes talk a little with people i know during rest. Opinions? Ideas on meeting guys and/or girls at the gym?

**Igifuno** · 05-12-2010, 06:13 PM

Ya if it happens it happens. I'm typically all business in the gym and socialize minimally. What country are you in?

**gixxerboy1** · 05-12-2010, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Td00

Thank you a lot for all the replyies! They've helped me a lot.

In here there's a strong drinking culture, guys and girls drink a lot, so it's kinda hard to stay away from it. I really don't know much people that doesn't drink a lot in here at parties. But i'm staying away from it. And come on,.. it's kinda awkward being the only sober guy at a party and tempting to drink too lol.

Once a smart guy told me to stop clubbing and going to house parties for meeting new people. That i should meet people at places or activities i like, and that's the gym. I just do my routine and leave, and sometimes talk a little with people i know during rest. Opinions? Ideas on meeting guys and/or girls at the gym?

i meet friends at the gym. But what d oyou do with them for fun. You go out. Your life cant be the gym and home. Its ok to drink moderatly its not going to hurt you. Like everyone said find a balance.

**Td00** · 05-12-2010, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

Ya if it happens it happens. I'm typically all business in the gym and socialize minimally. What country are you in?

In Chile. (not easy to find AAS in here btw)

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

i meet friends at the gym. But what d oyou do with them for fun. You go out. Your life cant be the gym and home. Its ok to drink moderatly its not going to hurt you. Like everyone said find a balance.

Of course i'd go out with them! And right now i'm only going to the gym 3 times a week, not much IMO.

**6ft5** · 05-12-2010, 06:31 PM

Everytime I see my buddys there like DAM! You just keep gettn bigger. lol. Yea I eat, sleep, lift, and kill shit on my PS3,. Besides I can't have just one drink, I get smashed. Then it screws me up for a couple days. But definatly find more freinds with common intrests. Then they will probobly know people that know people that know hot chicks that do the same stuff as you. People call me all the time for advice or just see if I'm alive.

**Hard.On** · 05-12-2010, 06:38 PM

the trick is to never have any friends,
that way you'll never lose any

**6ft5** · 05-12-2010, 06:47 PM

Oops

**StangLaw** · 05-12-2010, 09:15 PM

You got the, i just got done with college and now i'm boring as **** gene. If they don't respect what you want to do to your body they ain't your friends. Get big and ripped and take there women!!!! I havn't had a girlfriend in over a year, even a date in like 9 months. The attitude that you must have a girlfriend is way way over rated. Even though i feel ya for sure, there ain't nothing like being able to talk to whatever fine ass you see at any time you please.

**RuhlFreak55** · 05-12-2010, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by vanduhl

go out n order a seltzer with lime or a sprite with a lime...looks like a mixed drink...then grind on some *****...get laid...train the next day and repeat. havin a group of buddies to hang out with is very important man, dont let anything take that away..not even training.

wtf ever

**RuhlFreak55** · 05-12-2010, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

i meet friends at the gym. But what d oyou do with them for fun. You go out. Your life cant be the gym and home. Its ok to drink moderatly its not going to hurt you. Like everyone said find a balance.

bullshit

**RuhlFreak55** · 05-12-2010, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by twotimer

the trick is to never have any friends,
that way you'll never lose any

I kind of like this idea most of the time

**gixxerboy1** · 05-12-2010, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by RuhlFreak55

bullshit

how the f would you know?

what is a couple drinks on a weekend going to hurt?

You sacrificing your life for nothing. Maybe someday a shiny trophy?

I'll take my memories, fun and girls then your prayer for a trophy.

Your the one on here sad all the time cause you cant get a girl. Maybe if you actually grew some balls and relaxed you would have one.

**QuieTSToRM33** · 05-13-2010, 07:58 PM

You're going to lose some friends ... it's part of life. Get used to it.

On the other hand ... it won't hurt to hang out every once in a while.

You'll definitely know who your real friends are though.

**Bossman** · 05-15-2010, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Td00

I have a group of 8 good friends
*I'm not a bodybuilder, i don't plan on being so, i just go to the gym 3 days a week and have a good diet.

Now they drink and go clubbing saturday and sunday + some workday nights. They pressured me so much and i feared of losing them as friends so i gave up and joined their drinking madness for 2 months, as expected i lost some of my hard gained mass, but i'm back to training and i'm almost done on getting back the mass i lost but i'm not partying with them anymore and i believe i'm losing them. They're good people and they're good friends, they just don't care about sports anymore and our lifestyles don't match anymore.

They don't sound like that good of friends. And they're heading in the wrong direction. Get some new friends. You don't need these.

**Morgoth** · 05-15-2010, 08:50 AM

Do your training in the morning so you have your nights free. Man up and wake up at 5:30 every morning, or at lerast the mornings you do your workout on.

**AlphaGenetics** · 05-15-2010, 10:16 AM

Thats all part of growin up my friend. Sounds like your the only normal one in the bunch.

**energizer bunny** · 05-16-2010, 04:41 AM

Most of my friends dont train,,,,if they are true friends they will accept your dedication to training.....ill go months maybe not seeing them and when i do nothing has changed, they treat me the same.......true mates will allways be there.....try and find a happy medium mate,,,do both!..........

**Flagg** · 05-16-2010, 05:59 AM

What the guy above said.

And yeah, going out and having a coupla drinks every now and again doesn't mean you are going to insta fall off the wagon.

Having friends is important. What's the point in being 300 pounds with 8% bodyfat if you're lonely?

**lovbyts** · 05-16-2010, 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by energizer bunny

Most of my friends dont train,,,,if they are true friends they will accept your dedication to training.....ill go months maybe not seeing them and when i do nothing has changed, they treat me the same.......true mates will allways be there.....try and find a happy medium mate,,,do both!..........

Very true. I think this is something you/we learn with age/maturity also. I have friends I dont see for months and like you said. Nothing has changed. We catch up, have a drink or two, do whatever and it's all good.

I have one friend I use to hand with ALL the time 10 years ago. now we go quadding 3x a year, skiing one or twice and hand out 2 or 3x a year. It's all good.