Whats your best joke ???

[dec11]

hear the one about the irish woodworm?






found dead in a brick

[stack_it]

Where do cows display there artwork masterpieces?


In a MOOseum

[bjpennnn]

This one is for you guys.

What is the America Bird?
Bald Eagle

What is the Thanksgiving bird?
Turkey

What is the bird of love?
Dove

What is the bird of True Love??
Swallow

love it

[dec11]

Where do cows display there artwork masterpieces?


In a MOOseum

^ oh dear

[stack_it]

^ oh dear

Blame it on laffy taffy

[cherrydrpepper]

Most people have heard this joke by now but I just heard it the other day and found it hilarious

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

the second man was an Accountant,

the third man was a Chemist, and

the fourth man was a Government Employee.



To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and

promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.



But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,

‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen

cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.



But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and

said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a

10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured

exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said,

‘What can your cat do?’

The Government Employee called his cat and said, ‘CoffeeBreak, do

your stuff.’



CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet…….

ate the cookies……..

drank the milk…….

shit on the paper…….

****ed the other three cats…….

claimed he injured his back while doing so…….

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…….

put in for Workers Compensation……………and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…………

[gixxerboy1]

Right now my life is a joke

[Swifto]

Did you hear about the p*ki that was fostered?

All 3 cans hit him on the back of the head.

[MACHINE5150]

little johnny comes over to his grandparents and his grandpa is eating a plate of cookies. little johnny asks if he can have a cookie. grandpa says 'can you touch your penis to your a-hole'? little johnny says 'no' and grandpa says 'sorry then, you're not big enough to have a cookie'

grandpa comes home one day and little johnny has a plate of cookies grandma made. grandpa asks 'little johnny can i have a cookie'? little johnny says 'i don't know grandpa can you touch your penis to your a-hole'? grandpa says 'yes i can'. little johnny says 'then go fvck yourself, these are my cookies'.

This one is class

[drdeath613]

god created the fart then he gave it smell so even the deaf wouldnt miss out

[LGM]

How many jews can you fit in a car?

2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 500 or so in the ash tray.