Hrm, it appears I may be arrested for DV

**C-MaN** · 06-03-2010, 03:19 PM

One thing my dad always taught me growing up.. NEVER lay your hands on a woman. There's never an excuse for it.. period

**Igifuno** · 06-03-2010, 04:04 PM

In all fairness though its not like he premeditated the matter. He was woken out of his sleep to a psychotic lunatic screaming, yelling and breaking things.. I don't think its fair to call him a punk or anything else. I get the impression that he is not the type of person that "hits women", but was in a situation where he reacted and it so happens that his reaction may bite him in the ass.. I don't think any of us would condone hitting a woman, and I'll beat anyone's ass I see right then and there if I ever see it happen in a violet and deliberate manner - but it seems to me like J-Dogg got the sh*t end of this deal and I hope it goes away for him... but don't ever acknowledge her again.. ever.

**JasonT** · 06-03-2010, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

That's a different story. If a girl is attacking me with a knife all bets are off but f she is just annoying me ? No hit.

so, in other words, it is ok to hit a woman in certain situations

**DSM4Life** · 06-03-2010, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by JasonT

so, in other words, it is ok to hit a woman in certain situations

Don't try and twist my words.

**bjpennnn** · 06-03-2010, 04:44 PM

Good luck to you man, live and learn dont date crazy bitches?

**gym_junki** · 06-03-2010, 05:39 PM

did the cop go to ur house and c the damaged things and the broken window when she was trying to get back in. She was drunk so did they take a blood sample to c how much alcohol she had in her system? If u told the cop all that u have wrote here without that slap than I don't think ur going to get charged and the police report is on ur side, and according to what u said she's been arrested before so that's on her record, its not looking good for her. If I was u I'd sue her for damage to property.

**gym_junki** · 06-03-2010, 05:44 PM

there was a man that always assaulted his wif and one night he told her I'm gona bash u up when I get up from bed, while he was asleep she stabbed him 16 times killed him. Went to court and got out on self defence

U should have reported all that hitting on the head and when u were asleep to the police even if u were still wif her just to keep it on file u never kno what's going to happen later.

**AlphaGenetics** · 06-03-2010, 06:09 PM

If there was no marks on her face then it wasnt a violent slap. Its still not cool but there should be different levels of how the law deals with dv. I personally dont think its fair to be labled a woman batterer for what you did even though it wasnt cool at all. I think its bs when someone who punches a woman in the face gets the same punishment as someone who lightly slapped. Obviously you should know you diddnt handle this the right way, hopefully you learned something.

**DOM6** · 06-03-2010, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

i dont know what you already told the cop. But keep your mouth shut. Remember anything you say can be used against you.

get it documented about your broken window, i know neighbors seen this at 2am

And drop the I gave her a simple slap comment, you might as well knocked her teeth out for whats to come out of that comment.
Physical evidence and personal admitting what happen is what will **** you

**stevey_6t9** · 06-03-2010, 07:46 PM

you did the right thing by giving her five fingers to the face!

**J-Dogg** · 06-03-2010, 10:24 PM

Been a busy day but will try to respond/update to most of the questions.

First: Obviously there are some different opinions here, but it was nice to login and have some PMs from bro's able to relate to the situation.

Yes, she lived with me. She has for about a year. She came in empty handed, just my name on the house and I certainly have never even asked her to pay for anything.

Honestly, I feel the law is written bad in these situations. She "lives with me" we don't "live together". When I say that, I mean we are not a "couple", everything is separate and everything here is mine. She had close and makeup.

The law is not in my favor here. She can literally be in a crazy drunken rage, break in, and break every single thing I have in my house. She can break out windows, smash lap tops, pull flat screens off walls, kick/dent my truck and even taunt me to hit her while she does this.

All of the above paragraph, is 100% legal. The cops cannot remove her, and I'm not allowed to even restrain her. It's a civil matter for everything she breaks, and taunts are just words. So i can sue her, garnish her wages $25 for the rest of her life.

To DSM: I respect your stance, but you literally beg for it, you should expect to receive it. I don't care that I'm double her size, why would you ask someone double your size to hit you? I still feel a slap on the cheek is more than appropriate. I also feel I should be able to throw anyone out of my house if they are breaking my things. I don't care if they have the key to the city, the key to my house or have lived here before.

Girls should not be able to hide behind the "i'm a girl" statement. Especially if they are particularly violent themselves.

If my sister did this, sure I'd be upset. But if I knew the whole story, I'd understand, and I'd then check her in for a mental evaluation. Guy or girl, the things she did to escalate the situation were way more inappropriate than my response.

Also, I never told the officer that I slapped her. Even though I felt it was warranted, I know the law is written against it. He was told I forced her out of the door.

No marks on her face at all, she had some bruises on her bottom from landing on her butt. Some scratches and cuts on her hands and arms for tearing out the fan and screens of windows.

To give you an idea of why I'm not worried about the bruises:

She's a SLOPPY drunk. Earlier in the year she was at the tavern, and just fell over walking, busted her front tooth out on the edge of a table. She's just one of those people who drink and loose all motor functions and emotional control. She has a history of this and has been in the local mental hospital for evaluation for similar situations.

Given her past history, the report filed with the officer, her being intoxicated I honestly am not even that worried anymore.

I'm a good talker, quick thinker and she is exactly the opposite. I'm very likable, and respected in the area. All statements from the neighbors work in my favor, and most detail her past incidents.

**J-Dogg** · 06-03-2010, 10:39 PM

Oh, also wanted to note:

She said, "I wish your dog would have died!"

He just had an operation.

Yah......I know

**DOM6** · 06-03-2010, 10:53 PM

Bro thank god you havnt got any kids with her, imo if i was ever in that situation i would leave everything, throw my phone in the toilet and run out the door laughing cause it would be over,
were i think you messed up is you should of called the police when she left not to press charges but to show you want this to end and didnt want it to happen.
lesson learned,
and look if you really want her out next time, when she starts breaking your shit call the police and say you need help n hang up, then smack your head against the corner of the table then shes outa there. you say you had to duck as she threw something towards you, thats physical violence, it will be considered Domestic Battery

**Friend** · 06-04-2010, 12:26 AM

Sounds to me like you didn't hit her hard enough if she went squealing.

**Cthulhu** · 06-04-2010, 12:39 AM

Originally Posted by Hazard

^^^^ She gave you 6 reasons to kick her ass out before this happened..... should have listened to them.....

~Haz~

Yeah, letting it get as bad as it did was your fault, but I can relate. I've done the same kind of stuff. Kept around a thorn only to get pricked numerous times

**thegodfather** · 06-04-2010, 01:39 AM

1. Your word against hers. Do not admit anything to the police/prosecutors/anything. She can say you hit her, slapped her, anything, but unless you left marks on her, or there was a witness to this crime, there is no evidence. Deny deny, and deny some more. Additionally, do not talk to the police, investigators, or prosecutors without your attorney present, not a single word. If they come to your house, call you, or ask to speak to you in any way, simply respectfully decline and ask to have your attorney present.

2. Immediately file charges against her for smacking you. In some states individuals are not allowed to file charges against another individual, however you live in a state where this is permissible. She has no way of proving that you hit her, unless you are stupid enough to admit it. Just as you have no way of proving she hit you. However, being that you said she does not have a lot of money, filing charges against her would force her to retain counsel and that would be expensive, so you would be putting an immense amount of pressure on her to drop her charges if you drop yours.

3. Speak about the incidence and the case with no one that you know in person, not even friends. Loose lips sink ships.

4. You should have had the police come and take pictures of the property damage. To be honest, her case lacks any real physical evidence, it is simply her assertion that you did something. Sounds open and shut as long as you follow steps 1-4 and keep your mouth shut....

Good luck, and oh yea, stop dating crazy bitches. This isn't the first nut ass broad you've dated...

**J-Dogg** · 06-04-2010, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by thegodfather

1. Your word against hers. Do not admit anything to the police/prosecutors/anything. She can say you hit her, slapped her, anything, but unless you left marks on her, or there was a witness to this crime, there is no evidence. Deny deny, and deny some more. Additionally, do not talk to the police, investigators, or prosecutors without your attorney present, not a single word. If they come to your house, call you, or ask to speak to you in any way, simply respectfully decline and ask to have your attorney present.

2. Immediately file charges against her for smacking you. In some states individuals are not allowed to file charges against another individual, however you live in a state where this is permissible. She has no way of proving that you hit her, unless you are stupid enough to admit it. Just as you have no way of proving she hit you. However, being that you said she does not have a lot of money, filing charges against her would force her to retain counsel and that would be expensive, so you would be putting an immense amount of pressure on her to drop her charges if you drop yours.

3. Speak about the incidence and the case with no one that you know in person, not even friends. Loose lips sink ships.

4. You should have had the police come and take pictures of the property damage. To be honest, her case lacks any real physical evidence, it is simply her assertion that you did something. Sounds open and shut as long as you follow steps 1-4 and keep your mouth shut....

Good luck, and oh yea, stop dating crazy bitches. This isn't the first nut ass broad you've dated...

Sound advice, as always.

The only thing is, the officer has already filed a report and I did talk to him.

But, if I did not talk to him, all they had was her side of the story, and I'd be arrested already. I honestly feel from how the convo went with him, there is a pretty good chance I'll never even be arrested.

Anything he asked, I was able to respond with a solid, quick and through response. I've always been a good speaker, and I was not nervous or anything when talking to him. I really feel like he sensed the situation, and related or understood.

I had a real nut job about 3 years ago too, then dated 2 really nice girls and some how got this coco lady.

I have been thinking a lot about it and I'm just so career focused I don't spend very much time dating or selecting potential mates. I tend to grab a cute one, and then back to work.

So I've decided, I'm going to start dating fat chicks.

**calgarian** · 06-04-2010, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Sound advice, as always.

The only thing is, the officer has already filed a report and I did talk to him.

But, if I did not talk to him, all they had was her side of the story, and I'd be arrested already. I honestly feel from how the convo went with him, there is a pretty good chance I'll never even be arrested.

Anything he asked, I was able to respond with a solid, quick and through response. I've always been a good speaker, and I was not nervous or anything when talking to him. I really feel like he sensed the situation, and related or understood.

I had a real nut job about 3 years ago too, then dated 2 really nice girls and some how got this coco lady.

I have been thinking a lot about it and I'm just so career focused I don't spend very much time dating or selecting potential mates. I tend to grab a cute one, and then back to work.

So I've decided, I'm going to start dating fat chicks.

u think most of them arent crazy.?..

**J-Dogg** · 06-04-2010, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

u think most of them arent crazy.?..

I'll admit, I'm a little naive on them. But I'm open to suggestions and tips my friend!

**calgarian** · 06-04-2010, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

I'll admit, I'm a little naive on them. But I'm open to suggestions and tips my friend!

when u start seeing one PM me

**CMB** · 06-04-2010, 10:08 AM

Should have hit her harder LOL.

**energizer bunny** · 06-04-2010, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

I thought about that, but I believe once the report is filed, the defendant can't drop charges, the prosecutor just takes over.

Part of what troubles me about this, is last year she:

-Seriously tried to stab me
-Punched me in my face while I was sleeping
-Broke 2 lap tops, a 42" HDTV and various other items
-Hit me with the remote in her hand while I was laying in bed repeatedly

I never hit her back, I left when she started at me with a knife, anything else, I restrained her and called her Mother to come get her. The girl is just a violent, violent drunk. One of those girls that drinks and can't stand very well anymore and see's red.

AND I've never tried to have her arrested for any of this.

And this is a sweet girl lol.......mate you def shouldnt of slapped her for your first post...but i would of punched her for trying to stab me!....i would let a girl hit and scream all day at me......but using a knife, you could of easily been dead!,,,doesnt take much to die off a knife wound.

**energizer bunny** · 06-04-2010, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by JasonT

so, in other words, it is ok to hit a woman in certain situations

YES.......when she is trying to kill you!

**energizer bunny** · 06-04-2010, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by C-MaN

One thing my dad always taught me growing up.. NEVER lay your hands on a woman. There's never an excuse for it.. period

well im sorry,,,,if someone is trying to kill you,,,man,woman or child,,,then using reasonable force is the only way to go,,,,,now someone wielding a knife more than likely wont be affected by words!......and in most cases the person you hit would more than likely be glad you did so rather than be arrested for murder!

**J-Dogg** · 06-04-2010, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by energizer bunny

And this is a sweet girl lol.......mate you def shouldnt of slapped her for your first post...but i would of punched her for trying to stab me!....i would let a girl hit and scream all day at me......but using a knife, you could of easily been dead!,,,doesnt take much to die off a knife wound.

A very sweet girl actually, that responds very badly to drinking. She rarely drinks, but when she does it leads to this type of thing.

It's the perfect time for me to be single anyway:

-I make sick money in the summer
-I'm on cycle (750mgs testp/Mastp +tbol)
-Take weekends off
-Just finished a deck and hot tub on the house

This one will be easy to get over.

**AlphaMaleDawg** · 06-04-2010, 12:36 PM

but all women are sweet delicate flowers...nah fukc that beat that bitch up. fukcing pus.sy society we live in today where beta pathetic losers think all women are precious

**JasonT** · 06-04-2010, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by AlphaMaleDawg

but all women are sweet delicate flowers...nah fukc that beat that bitch up. fukcing pus.sy society we live in today where beta pathetic losers think all women are precious

this

actions have consequences, being a women doesn't meant that you automatically don't ever have to face any consequences. Everyone should be held responsible for their actions.

**ReX357** · 06-14-2010, 06:16 PM

I don't give a f*ck what anyone says on here: Don't ever feel bad for doing what you did. It's nature. Males will smack females around in nature when the females are getting aggressive and put them back in their place.

Get away from that girl.

And don't believe anyone that tells you you're weak / or a coward for hitting her. You did what you had to do. It's not like you're beating her senseless when you get home from work for no reason. That was a deserved slap. Plain and simple.

**lovbyts** · 06-14-2010, 08:49 PM

Have her charged with malicious mischief. Barging into you place, breaking your things. Turn it around on her. Dont just lay there and take it and yes you are allowed to defend yourself and NEVER admit you touch/slapped or pushed her except to block her hits and to direct her outside.

NEVER admit anything like that, it will do you no good and she will use it in full force as if you beat the crap out of her and you are an abusive BF/stalker. there is no middle ground on this and no one will see it as only a little slap.

**J-Dogg** · 06-14-2010, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by ReX357

I don't give a f*ck what anyone says on here: Don't ever feel bad for doing what you did. It's nature. Males will smack females around in nature when the females are getting aggressive and put them back in their place.

Get away from that girl.

And don't believe anyone that tells you you're weak / or a coward for hitting her. You did what you had to do. It's not like you're beating her senseless when you get home from work for no reason. That was a deserved slap. Plain and simple.

I honestly have a huge tolerance for aggravation, I'm very humble. 90% of the population would do it.

I find it amazing, they can't get kids out of abusive houses. But I can be arrested for this.

beat your kids, don't beat your wife.