Strippers

**stack_it** · 08-26-2010, 05:17 PM

There's a one armed stripper around here that fvcks other strippers with her nub. We all call her kickstand.

**Hazard** · 08-26-2010, 05:22 PM

I went once for my friends Bday and i was pretty much ignoring every stripper in the place when asked for a lap dance. Then this one caught my eye..... ofcoarse she had a rockin body but her eyes were INCREDIBLE..... imagine that lol! So I got a lap dance with her (I never ever get these) and she wanted to know why her after I turned down all the others. I just said "You've got the nicest eyes....." lmfao and she kissed me before our dance. So after the dance she stands me up and tells me to wait where I was. She got another girl and came back and said to her "here's the one you wanted" and then we all triple kissed. The other stripper said I was cute and then we all walked out lololol

My friends almost shit - they saw the whole thing.....

I attributed it to them trying to milk me for everything I had..... i'm not stupid lol

~Haz~

**Hazard** · 08-26-2010, 05:28 PM

LMFAO! another story.... (I swear I don't goto these places all the time LOLOLOL!)

I was sitting at the stage and I guess I had this cocky look to me..... idunno. This one girl comes up to me and she goes "Don't look so cocky....." I said "Don't confuse cocky with confidence...." and she goes "Nope..... you're arrogant......" AHAHAHAHA I just laughed and said "With good reason dear....." LMFAO she didn't talk to me the rest of the nite!

About an hour after that another stripper came up to me and she says "I know you!" lmfao i was taken back..... how the fvck could she know me....? She says "You're that big guy that's always dancin wit girls at pacha (club in nyc)....." LOLOLOL I laughed so damn loud and said "YOU GOT ME!"

~Haz~

**Nooomoto** · 08-26-2010, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by HitIt

Personally I have nothing against strippers, but back in the day, when my buds all wanted to hit the strip clubs late night, I'd be the one to head home because I didn't see the point in paying some girl to give me a hard on only to head home afterwards anyway. Can I say hard on?

Same here. I detest the idea of strip clubs. Giving chicks money just because they are there? No thanks. I'll go buy food or something cool with that money.

**jbran23** · 08-26-2010, 06:20 PM

I have a strip club story. God, this was when I was like 22 or 23 so it was awhile ago. Its just across the border in Canada and its basically a whore house. The girls dance on stage and in between sets they are trying to get guys into the back for a lap dance, bj, or sex. Who knows how many guys these bitches fvck in a night. Anyway, we are all sitting around the stage and the girl onstage is a hot ass blonde. She is doing her thing and she grabs this guy and pulls him onstage and rips his shirt off and is smacking him with whips and shit and basically gets him down to his boxers and pushes him into this little kiddy pool full of baby oil she has onstage as part of her act. He gets off stage and she dances around a bit more then she comes over to me and gestures for me to get onstage. I shake my head. No fvckin way was she gonna get me up there and ruin me clothes and embarass me in front of everybody. She leans off stage and starts trying to physically pull me up so I fvckin yank right back and practically pull her right off the stage. By this point she is getting pissed so she grabs me by the back of my head and grinds her fvckin pvssy right into my face! I mean my nose was like right up in between her snatch lips! I was so fvckin pissed man. All Im thinking is how many dicks had been in there that night and how I was probably gonna end up with herpes on my face or something. I wanted to get onstage and just knock that bitch out and then toss her head first into the speakers.

So it turns it was a Saturday night and she was a "feature" dancer that the club brings in to attract customers. She was in Penthouse or Hustler or something and she isnt allowed to go into the back with customers. Needless to say I was a little relieved.

**Standby** · 08-26-2010, 06:30 PM

Jbran you must have came to windsor haha thats where i live and yes its a whore house the whole city lmao.

and haz your stories are awesome lol you should start a thread just for your funny stories

**jbran23** · 08-26-2010, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

Jbran you must have came to windsor haha thats where i live and yes its a whore house the whole city lmao.

and haz your stories are awesome lol you should start a thread just for your funny stories

Nah, it wasnt Windsor. It was a town just south of Montreal. I will have to put Windsor on my list of places to visit now though. haha

**Standby** · 08-26-2010, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by jbran23

Nah, it wasnt Windsor. It was a town just south of Montreal. I will have to put Windsor on my list of places to visit now though. haha

oh sh*t lol ive been to montreal and that place is fvcked they will do anything there. but windsor is awesome last time 2 strippers were going down on each other on stage then when the song was done they went VIP together and all i could see what the ones legs in the air spread eagle and then she came to my table and i asked her about it and she was like ya she totally just maybe me cum its pretty awesome around here

**Skyler** · 08-26-2010, 06:53 PM

I've been to Windsor

**jbran23** · 08-26-2010, 06:55 PM

What happens in Windsor stays in Windsor....except for crabs. Those fvckers will follow you home.

**Standby** · 08-26-2010, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by Skyler

I've been to Windsor

i remember reading that post haha. ya man fvck windsor lol ive seen some sh*t here dirty place

**AlphaMaleDawg** · 08-26-2010, 07:02 PM

haven't read any replies, but the moment you gave her a compliment is the moment you fukced it up. NEVER COMPLIMENT A GIRL YOU ARE TRYING TO GET WITH. It makes you look like you are under her and you are the chaser. Make her want you

**Standby** · 08-26-2010, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by AlphaMaleDawg

haven't read any replies, but the moment you gave her a compliment is the moment you fukced it up. NEVER COMPLIMENT A GIRL YOU ARE TRYING TO GET WITH. It makes you look like you are under her and you are the chaser. Make her want you

also very true. the one i picked up was all over me telling me i was cute and sh*t i never once said anything nice to her even when she said i dont understand how all these guy rather watch ufc then get a dance, she then has to smack me to get my attention cause i was watch rampage get his a$$ kicked and i said to her i dont need to look at you to feel you dancing on me lol she said i was talking to you.

**D3m3nt3d** · 08-26-2010, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

u sure?

Good one you sorry fvck

**cherrydrpepper** · 08-27-2010, 12:01 AM

God this thread got crazy fast. Great stories / jokes I laughed a lot.

I asked the girl out tonight and got shot down. I have no regrets about it. She told me I should come in for dances a few more times and she would think about it. I told her I always swing for the fence so I either hit a home run or strike out so I won't be back.

**phrenetic** · 08-27-2010, 04:59 AM

Read - The Game by Neil Strauss , pretty sure there is some good info in there for ya if you wanna learn to pick up strippers.

And yeah sorry bro, in the club they are in game mode, as much money and as many lies as they can tell. I was dating/banging a stripper for a while in fact she switched teams for me, was a ****ing nutter in the sack too. Told me all their dirty tricks and secrets, sadly its not as glamorous as a lot of girls make it out to be, she wound up getting ****ed up on opium not long after we broke it off and wound up with heaps of desperate regular clients hounding her night and day for dinner dates and shit. Eventually she quit and got her shit together and we are still good friends.

I picked her up just by talking to her about how being gay and a stripper seemed counter-intuitive at first, but then i was like, the more I think about it the more it makes sense, cause these guys will try even harder to **** you, and the more they try the more money you make. Next thing I knew her tongue was down the back of my throat

I then spent the next 2 weeks schooling her in giving a good blowjob, was an awesome two weeks as she was a hell keen student

**calgarian** · 08-27-2010, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by D3m3nt3d

Good one you sorry fvck

was just making sure...lol

**Hoggage_54** · 08-27-2010, 07:29 PM

**vanduhl** · 08-27-2010, 11:37 PM

I'm gonna be the thread douche but I went with 2 of my local friends and a professional bodybuilder whom i happen to know, hes a real cool dude who came into town because his bro was an anesthesiologist (sp). Anywho, he went to my gym for 2 months while in town and we went up to a strip club. We all stood out when we walked in. The strippers are on our laps talking, everythings goin great, no drinks were bought, no money was discussed, conversation was casual. They told us we stood out when we walked in and stayed talking with us for an hour or more. No dance were offered or suggested. Anyway to the point, the BB guy had a stripper ask him for his number. They exchanged it and after we left he was showing us texts that she sent him (right after we just left!!) blowin up his phone. Next day at gym, he shows us pix messages she sent him of her normal in not striper clothes. He's in Muscle and Fitness Mag and has a modeling page, she showed her mom pics of him and said that she was ready for him to meet her mom if he wanted to. It was really fvcked up...I never thought i'd see that happen. It's probably one in a million, but all of the vibes were right at our table, it was strange but I witnessed all of it.

Thats my $ .02......

**DCI** · 08-28-2010, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by jbran23

Same here. Dont get me wrong Ive been to my fair share but after awhile I didnt see the point in paying a girl to lie to me because she is trying to get every last dime in my pocket. Once you start to see them for who they are it kinda ruins the experience, at least for me anyway. If I want to see a hot bitch naked I'll just stay home and watch porn and I will get to see her get banged too and dont have to pay a couple hundred dollars for the experience.

What he said I have been to a few of them and enver realy felt comfortable. I am a salesman and just can smell the bullshit coming outta the strippers mouths about blah blah I don't buy it therefore don't enjoy it. Loada wank imo.

Originally Posted by Hazard

LMFAO! another story.... (I swear I don't goto these places all the time LOLOLOL!)

I was sitting at the stage and I guess I had this cocky look to me..... idunno. This one girl comes up to me and she goes "Don't look so cocky....." I said "Don't confuse cocky with confidence...." and she goes "Nope..... you're arrogant......" AHAHAHAHA I just laughed and said "With good reason dear....." LMFAO she didn't talk to me the rest of the nite!

About an hour after that another stripper came up to me and she says "I know you!" lmfao i was taken back..... how the fvck could she know me....? She says "You're that big guy that's always dancin wit girls at pacha (club in nyc)....." LOLOLOL I laughed so damn loud and said "YOU GOT ME!"

~Haz~

Bahahahaha, I think I saw you on Jersey shore too :

**Hoggage_54** · 08-28-2010, 07:43 AM

**cherrydrpepper** · 08-28-2010, 07:52 AM

Paris Hilton arrested on cocaine charges:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4OWv...eature=channel

I laughed a couple of times its so cliche. I figured it fit into this thread somehow as well.

**DSM4Life** · 08-28-2010, 09:45 AM

**fleck** · 08-28-2010, 11:09 AM

man up get 2 the point with her, tell her in a nice way you are ripped to shreds and love gettin it on, before you meet up load up on a gram of test and bang the hell out of her

**maxdose** · 08-28-2010, 11:38 AM

Go for it...you'll learn...then you will be the guy posting in a thread like this espousing your years of elderly wisdom.
I have dated 2. One was a head case-the other was a damn good woman.
Alot of them have way bigger problems like drug addictions and shit you dont want to get mixed up with....but maybe your a 'fixer'.

**jbm** · 08-28-2010, 08:58 PM

**jbm** · 08-28-2010, 08:59 PM

**jbm** · 08-28-2010, 09:03 PM

**jbm** · 08-28-2010, 09:06 PM

**Superhero d-bolman** · 08-28-2010, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

I need to have this thread. Im sorry I know many of you hate when I start a thread and go "awww...ohhh *groan* c herry dp started a thread again wtf?"

I met one of the most beautiful strippers ive ever seen in my life tonight and I tried the God approach with her. I told her how beautiful she is and how she should be a news caster and get out of this. Blah dee blah. Shes dropping hints all during our convo that she doesn't have a lover and is single. I sthere an ounce of chance that shes not full of shit and would get with me? I don't care if its for one night; shes one of the most beautiful women ive ever seen in my entire life and ive seen a lot. No she didn't give me her num or anything.

dude strippers are true pros at making it seem like they like u and u are that special one... Believe me you'll end up giving her money for something. Unless u are out with friends and have the true game of a god like 1 out of 100 people, then i doubt you'd ever have a chance with a stripper in a strip club.

**cherrydrpepper** · 08-28-2010, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by Superhero d-bolman

dude strippers are true pros at making it seem like they like u and u are that special one... Believe me you'll end up giving her money for something. Unless u are out with friends and have the true game of a god like 1 out of 100 people, then i doubt you'd ever have a chance with a stripper in a strip club.

Just for the record I did date one for a while but she was a crazy piece of shit and I was younger/better looking.