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Thread: Need help

  1. #1
    firmechicano831's Avatar
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    Need help

    What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?

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    Leave her

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    You will not be able to do anything really. As a matter of fact the more you try, the worse it could get. Might try to simply live by example. And do some activities that SHE likes to do together. Find something she likes and start from there.

    If you police her it will get worse just for the heck of it from her point of view. It would be like her telling you to do something about yourself that you might not want to hear.
    Last edited by SlimmerMe; 04-16-2011 at 09:12 PM.

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    divorce her or else you will end up like this...


  5. #5
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    tough spot.
    this could be an emotional issue with her. Is she happy? You guys been arguing?
    Her gaining weight could be a coping mechanism, a way of getting back at you..... or not.

    Worst thing you can do is to try and belittle her into losing weight. This will usually backfire.

    Try to lead by example. ask her to join you for a regular nightly stroll around the park. Try to get her to cook (if she does the cooking) better meals for you, and maybe she will eat the same.

    All you can do is try to guide her, but you can't force her.

    You may not be successful.

    You may consider counsilling if it bugs you that much?

  6. #6
    lovbyts's Avatar
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    Stay in the gym, find a hot little work out partner. When your wife makes a comment tell you she was available but you would much rather it be here.

    you cn tell her the truth; that's usually what I did and yes it always blows up in your face. Bottom line it's still honesty and usually eventually they get it if not then you need to take a look at what else is changing and make some decisions. It's never easy. I have been there and dont that but over other things. If you dont make a stand now it will get worse. You dont have to be an ass, you can do like I said, use psychology.

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    Quote Originally Posted by firmechicano831 View Post
    What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?
    That's dangerous. Sounds like your #[email protected]$ed.

    Next time your having sex with her start having sex with a roll of fat and moan "your vagina feels so good." If that doesn't work nothing will.

  8. #8
    jbm's Avatar
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    cardio up your sex life....

  9. #9
    calgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    You will not be able to do anything really. As a matter of fact the more you try, the worse it could get. Might try to simply live by example. And do some activities that SHE likes to do together. Find something she likes and start from there.

    If you police her it will get worse just for the heck of it from her point of view. It would be like her telling you to do something about yourself that you might not want to hear.
    typical female response. so he starrt doing what she like and next thing u know she doesnt like him to go to gym. in other words he needs to change........what a surprise.
    to OP
    YOUR first mistake was geting married now you will see real her. wait till she get cpl of kids and will start critisizing you when you go for workout. things will be scheduled on the time you suppose to go to workout. Not going to say to leave her but embrase yourself and get ready
    Men maried oman thinking they ont change , Women married men hoping they will change
    Last edited by calgarian; 04-17-2011 at 09:28 PM.

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    I hate to tell you but if it's only been a year and she has already copped an attitude like that then don't be surprised before she also tells you, well we're married now so I don't have to have sex with you anymore. Sounds like in her mind she figures since she already has you, that she no longer needs to satisfy your wants and needs. For your sake and the sake of your marriage I hope that isn't the case. The failure rate of marriages these days is over 55%. Just sayin. Best of luck

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    calgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbm View Post
    cardio up your sex life....
    she will have headache right after she spend 1000$ on shopping. or if its his bday after all the company left she will be tired.....u been there

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    Quote Originally Posted by calgarian View Post
    she will have headache right after she spend 1000$ on shopping. or if its his bday after all the company left she will be tired.....u been there
    lololol... my wife is thin....

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    Quote Originally Posted by firmechicano831 View Post
    What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?
    Ok After countless hours on youtube (about 20 seconds), I found the perfect song to play to your wife. Listen to the lyrics.


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    Uncle$ is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by firmechicano831 View Post
    What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?
    Sounds like she's depressed or rather unhappy in your relationship! I don't quiet understand why she'd say such. What mood was she portraying when she told you such? I guess I'm asking you if she seemed down, happy, sarcastic, or...?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jbm View Post
    lololol... my wife is thin....
    so does mine surprisingly

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle$ View Post
    Sounds like she's depressed or rather unhappy in your relationship! I don't quiet understand why she'd say such. What mood was she portraying when she told you such? I guess I'm asking you if she seemed down, happy, sarcastic, or...?
    Besides the few other more advanced advice from men here....there's deeper issues....as uncle has mentioned. I find it odd how most don't see that.

    Everything she is doing and isn't doing is based on some sort of psychological issue...deeper than you may be able to get to the root of.

    This advice of....."helping her get to the gym" is poppycock. That is only a visual problem to an underlying issue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kawigirl View Post
    Besides the few other more advanced advice from men here....there's deeper issues....as uncle has mentioned. I find it odd how most don't see that.

    Everything she is doing and isn't doing is based on some sort of psychological issue...deeper than you may be able to get to the root of.

    This advice of....."helping her get to the gym" is poppycock. That is only a visual problem to an underlying issue.
    The problem is women get to have all these excuses for everything, hormones, emotions, physiological etc. If a guy used anything like that for an excuse he would be cruised. A woman can say she needs a personal day or it's just a woman thing and cant make it to work. If a guy did that he would be fired.

    Tell her to get off her butt because it's getting to FAT. Tell her to buck up, live up to YOUR expectations and start being who she should be. Sorry I just hate all this equality stuff that is so one sided. If you want equality then live up to the expectations.

    Now dont label me as someone who things all women are this way because I dont. I work with plenty of very good, productive and women who are equal as men in work, responsibility and pay. I have also worked with many who only use and abuse the system.

    Really, what wrong with telling it like it is? Have I done it? yes. Does it always work out? No or at least not right away. I have had at least one breakup due to me calling a spade a spade but after about a year she came back apologizing and said I was 100% right. I said thank but I already knew that. LOL

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovbyts View Post
    The problem is women get to have all these excuses for everything, hormones, emotions, physiological etc. If a guy used anything like that for an excuse he would be cruised. A woman can say she needs a personal day or it's just a woman thing and cant make it to work. If a guy did that he would be fired.

    Tell her to get off her butt because it's getting to FAT. Tell her to buck up, live up to YOUR expectations and start being who she should be. Sorry I just hate all this equality stuff that is so one sided. If you want equality then live up to the expectations.

    Now dont label me as someone who things all women are this way because I dont. I work with plenty of very good, productive and women who are equal as men in work, responsibility and pay. I have also worked with many who only use and abuse the system.

    Really, what wrong with telling it like it is? Have I done it? yes. Does it always work out? No or at least not right away. I have had at least one breakup due to me calling a spade a spade but after about a year she came back apologizing and said I was 100% right. I said thank but I already knew that. LOL

    Not denying this at all......I'm the same...call a spade a spade. But your forgetting as I said...there's a more deeper rooted issue than as simple as you've said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kawigirl View Post
    Not denying this at all......I'm the same...call a spade a spade. But your forgetting as I said...there's a more deeper rooted issue than as simple as you've said.
    If a guy said the same thing he will be labelled as "afraid of commitment". I had a same friend who show up for work out at 530 in the morning work his ass off he was reluntless till he got a girlfriend (4 yrs ago) and that was the last time I have seen it. I was talking to his younger brother and he said "I knew all along he is keeping him in shape till he get a GF". So there are some ppl that will work their ass off just to look good and when they get a partner they dont care how they look.

    Just wait till she have issues when he goes to gym and become insecure about it.

  21. #21
    olderfella is offline Associate Member
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    I wouldnt beat about the bush either,just ask her do you like fat guys when she replies no say i dont like fat birds either so get ya fat ass down the gym and do something about it,should she like fat guys then ya living in the wrong house mate,far to many people men and woman get married and think thats it i can be a lazy ass now

  22. #22
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    I agree there could be a problem there.But my friend had those same words spoke to him.He flat out told her.He wasnt having sex with her until she lost weight.She didnt he walked.After they split she slimmed right down.Now if you notice a lot of women fresh out of a marriage seems like the 1st thing they do is lose weight if needed.So they can be more attractive.But I see men do it also.I think people get complaicant inn their relationships with things like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    I agree there could be a problem there.But my friend had those same words spoke to him.He flat out told her.He wasnt having sex with her until she lost weight.She didnt he walked.After they split she slimmed right down.Now if you notice a lot of women fresh out of a marriage seems like the 1st thing they do is lose weight if needed.So they can be more attractive.But I see men do it also.I think people get complaicant inn their relationships with things like that.
    this brings back to the same question "why we do it"....As long as u r doing it for yourself then it doesnt matter if u r engaged, married or single u will always keep doing it but if u are doing it so u can get married have partner then it will blow up in ur face soon just like it happenes to ur friend.

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    Yes it happensall the time if people could just be themselves.Dating would be so much more fun.I for one hated the games.The person you met is never the same a month down the road.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    Yes it happensall the time if people could just be themselves.Dating would be so much more fun.I for one hated the games.The person you met is never the same a month down the road.
    thats y...fvck and forget until she text you that she broke up with her boyfriend.....fvck and forget again

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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    Yes it happensall the time if people could just be themselves.Dating would be so much more fun.I for one hated the games.The person you met is never the same a month down the road.
    This goes for all of us no matter who you date.

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    I did that for a long time.Then my buddy set me up on a blind date.This gal thru me up against the wall and took advantage of me.Then she made me marry her.The 1st part was true

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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    I did that for a long time.Then my buddy set me up on a blind date.This gal thru me up against the wall and took advantage of me.Then she made me marry her.The 1st part was true
    i had my fair share ....not now i m hard to even push

  29. #29
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    I hear that.At my age I wouldnt know where to start.The women my age mostly look like well less that pleasing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songdog View Post
    I did that for a long time.Then my buddy set me up on a blind date.This gal thru me up against the wall and took advantage of me.Then she made me marry her.The 1st part was true

    So....THIS is what I have to do to get a man?

  31. #31
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    Yeah just rough him up a bit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kawigirl View Post
    So....THIS is what I have to do to get a man?
    not exactly, but it doesn't hurt either!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kawigirl View Post
    So....THIS is what I have to do to get a good man?
    All fixed...

  34. #34
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    Better figure out wtf is bothering her man..... or you'll end up like me.....

    My wife pulled the same bullshit...... she didn't want me working out anymore..... she said it consumed too much of my life. Yet she was working out like crazy for the wedding..... lol made no sense. After the wedding..... everything got worse. She became anti-steroid ..... anti-bodybuilding..... anti-everything I liked.

    So after 3 years of not working out I had finally had it. I got back into it..... hide my aas use..... and i'm happy as a clam. She would rather me spend all day at home and do nothing but after arguing about it long enough..... she kinda just stopped. Don't give in to her bullshit..... keep doing what makes you. If she can't fit into that..... why'd she marry you? It works both ways tho brotha...... you might hafta take those trips to the candle store every now and then.....

    ~Haz~
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  35. #35
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    I would stab her to death......
    Do not ask me for a source check.






  36. #36
    calgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt View Post
    I would stab her to death......
    y? get rid of her and have someone else have a shot at her

  37. #37
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    go for ice cream and dont come back.

  38. #38
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    When is the last time you had her piss on a pregnancy stick? My wife always get into some of the craziest moods when she is pregnant. I've gone through it 4 times, so I'm pretty good at picking up on the, "oh-shit, time to get a test" mood. I could be wrong, but it's something to consider. Hell, maybe she knows she is pregnant and is just preparing to get fat but is afraid to tell you she is pregnant...

    I dunno, just my 2 cents. She could just be lazy or a bitch.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt View Post
    I would stab her to death......
    Pretty much sound advice right there

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