Need help

**firmechicano831** · 04-16-2011, 08:02 PM

What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?

**stack_it** · 04-16-2011, 09:01 PM

Leave her

**SlimmerMe** · 04-16-2011, 09:09 PM

You will not be able to do anything really. As a matter of fact the more you try, the worse it could get. Might try to simply live by example. And do some activities that SHE likes to do together. Find something she likes and start from there.

If you police her it will get worse just for the heck of it from her point of view. It would be like her telling you to do something about yourself that you might not want to hear.

**stevey_6t9** · 04-16-2011, 09:50 PM

divorce her or else you will end up like this...

**Times Roman** · 04-17-2011, 02:23 AM

tough spot.
this could be an emotional issue with her. Is she happy? You guys been arguing?
Her gaining weight could be a coping mechanism, a way of getting back at you..... or not.

Worst thing you can do is to try and belittle her into losing weight. This will usually backfire.

Try to lead by example. ask her to join you for a regular nightly stroll around the park. Try to get her to cook (if she does the cooking) better meals for you, and maybe she will eat the same.

All you can do is try to guide her, but you can't force her.

You may not be successful.

You may consider counsilling if it bugs you that much?

**lovbyts** · 04-17-2011, 02:52 AM

Stay in the gym, find a hot little work out partner. When your wife makes a comment tell you she was available but you would much rather it be here.

you cn tell her the truth; that's usually what I did and yes it always blows up in your face. Bottom line it's still honesty and usually eventually they get it if not then you need to take a look at what else is changing and make some decisions. It's never easy. I have been there and dont that but over other things. If you dont make a stand now it will get worse. You dont have to be an ass, you can do like I said, use psychology.

**DSM4Life** · 04-17-2011, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?

That's dangerous. Sounds like your #$@$ed.

Next time your having sex with her start having sex with a roll of fat and moan "your vagina feels so good." If that doesn't work nothing will.

**jbm** · 04-17-2011, 09:03 PM

cardio up your sex life....

**calgarian** · 04-17-2011, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

You will not be able to do anything really. As a matter of fact the more you try, the worse it could get. Might try to simply live by example. And do some activities that SHE likes to do together. Find something she likes and start from there.

If you police her it will get worse just for the heck of it from her point of view. It would be like her telling you to do something about yourself that you might not want to hear.

typical female response. so he starrt doing what she like and next thing u know she doesnt like him to go to gym. in other words he needs to change........what a surprise.
to OP
YOUR first mistake was geting married now you will see real her. wait till she get cpl of kids and will start critisizing you when you go for workout. things will be scheduled on the time you suppose to go to workout. Not going to say to leave her but embrase yourself and get ready
Men maried oman thinking they ont change , Women married men hoping they will change

**Shol'va** · 04-17-2011, 09:25 PM

I hate to tell you but if it's only been a year and she has already copped an attitude like that then don't be surprised before she also tells you, well we're married now so I don't have to have sex with you anymore. Sounds like in her mind she figures since she already has you, that she no longer needs to satisfy your wants and needs. For your sake and the sake of your marriage I hope that isn't the case. The failure rate of marriages these days is over 55%. Just sayin. Best of luck

**calgarian** · 04-17-2011, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by jbm

cardio up your sex life....

she will have headache right after she spend 1000$ on shopping. or if its his bday after all the company left she will be tired.....u been there

**jbm** · 04-17-2011, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

she will have headache right after she spend 1000$ on shopping. or if its his bday after all the company left she will be tired.....u been there

lololol... my wife is thin....

**Shol'va** · 04-18-2011, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?

Ok After countless hours on youtube (about 20 seconds), I found the perfect song to play to your wife. Listen to the lyrics.

**Uncle$** · 04-18-2011, 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

What up brothers. So I got married last year and my wife now doesn't want to work out or do anything. She's been gaining weight slowly and I'm afraid she will blow up one day. I've talked to her, try to motivate her and nothing works. She said last night, " why work out if you're married to me now". I almost told her, well fat chicks get dumped too but I thought it was better to keep my mouth closed. What should I do?

Sounds like she's depressed or rather unhappy in your relationship! I don't quiet understand why she'd say such. What mood was she portraying when she told you such? I guess I'm asking you if she seemed down, happy, sarcastic, or...?

**calgarian** · 04-18-2011, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by jbm

lololol... my wife is thin....

so does mine surprisingly

**Standby** · 04-18-2011, 07:32 AM

**Kawigirl** · 04-18-2011, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by Uncle$

Sounds like she's depressed or rather unhappy in your relationship! I don't quiet understand why she'd say such. What mood was she portraying when she told you such? I guess I'm asking you if she seemed down, happy, sarcastic, or...?

Besides the few other more advanced advice from men here....there's deeper issues....as uncle has mentioned. I find it odd how most don't see that.

Everything she is doing and isn't doing is based on some sort of psychological issue...deeper than you may be able to get to the root of.

This advice of....."helping her get to the gym" is poppycock. That is only a visual problem to an underlying issue.

**lovbyts** · 04-18-2011, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by Kawigirl

Besides the few other more advanced advice from men here....there's deeper issues....as uncle has mentioned. I find it odd how most don't see that.

Everything she is doing and isn't doing is based on some sort of psychological issue...deeper than you may be able to get to the root of.

This advice of....."helping her get to the gym" is poppycock. That is only a visual problem to an underlying issue.

The problem is women get to have all these excuses for everything, hormones, emotions, physiological etc. If a guy used anything like that for an excuse he would be cruised. A woman can say she needs a personal day or it's just a woman thing and cant make it to work. If a guy did that he would be fired.

Tell her to get off her butt because it's getting to FAT. Tell her to buck up, live up to YOUR expectations and start being who she should be. Sorry I just hate all this equality stuff that is so one sided. If you want equality then live up to the expectations.

Now dont label me as someone who things all women are this way because I dont. I work with plenty of very good, productive and women who are equal as men in work, responsibility and pay. I have also worked with many who only use and abuse the system.

Really, what wrong with telling it like it is? Have I done it? yes. Does it always work out? No or at least not right away. I have had at least one breakup due to me calling a spade a spade but after about a year she came back apologizing and said I was 100% right. I said thank but I already knew that. LOL

**Kawigirl** · 04-18-2011, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

The problem is women get to have all these excuses for everything, hormones, emotions, physiological etc. If a guy used anything like that for an excuse he would be cruised. A woman can say she needs a personal day or it's just a woman thing and cant make it to work. If a guy did that he would be fired.

Tell her to get off her butt because it's getting to FAT. Tell her to buck up, live up to YOUR expectations and start being who she should be. Sorry I just hate all this equality stuff that is so one sided. If you want equality then live up to the expectations.

Now dont label me as someone who things all women are this way because I dont. I work with plenty of very good, productive and women who are equal as men in work, responsibility and pay. I have also worked with many who only use and abuse the system.

Really, what wrong with telling it like it is? Have I done it? yes. Does it always work out? No or at least not right away. I have had at least one breakup due to me calling a spade a spade but after about a year she came back apologizing and said I was 100% right. I said thank but I already knew that. LOL

Not denying this at all......I'm the same...call a spade a spade. But your forgetting as I said...there's a more deeper rooted issue than as simple as you've said.

**calgarian** · 04-18-2011, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Kawigirl

Not denying this at all......I'm the same...call a spade a spade. But your forgetting as I said...there's a more deeper rooted issue than as simple as you've said.

If a guy said the same thing he will be labelled as "afraid of commitment". I had a same friend who show up for work out at 530 in the morning work his ass off he was reluntless till he got a girlfriend (4 yrs ago) and that was the last time I have seen it. I was talking to his younger brother and he said "I knew all along he is keeping him in shape till he get a GF". So there are some ppl that will work their ass off just to look good and when they get a partner they dont care how they look.

Just wait till she have issues when he goes to gym and become insecure about it.

**olderfella** · 04-18-2011, 09:43 AM

I wouldnt beat about the bush either,just ask her do you like fat guys when she replies no say i dont like fat birds either so get ya fat ass down the gym and do something about it,should she like fat guys then ya living in the wrong house mate,far to many people men and woman get married and think thats it i can be a lazy ass now

**songdog** · 04-18-2011, 10:42 AM

I agree there could be a problem there.But my friend had those same words spoke to him.He flat out told her.He wasnt having sex with her until she lost weight.She didnt he walked.After they split she slimmed right down.Now if you notice a lot of women fresh out of a marriage seems like the 1st thing they do is lose weight if needed.So they can be more attractive.But I see men do it also.I think people get complaicant inn their relationships with things like that.

**calgarian** · 04-18-2011, 10:51 AM