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10-12-2011, 07:50 AM #1
**RANT** I'm officially SICK AND TIRED of old people in my gym!!!
I've read comments and know alot of you feel the same way. I don't know about your gym, but mine, at the time I go, is absolutely over run with these old fvcks. I'd venture to guess 85% of the people are over 55. I have no good reasons other than i'm just sick of seeing grey hair everywhere I turn. Or not being able to do an exercise or cardio equip. because some fossil needs to use it for 2 minutes and accomplish absolutely nothing.
Don't even get me started about their wrinkled old asses in the locker room. I'm tired of seeing their nasty old 'oniony' bag... they strut around with their old junk and grey pubes all out. WE DON'T WANNA SEE YOU!!! YOU'RE REPULSIVE!!!
I have definitely developed a prejudice against old people. I'd like to know if there's a specific name for that kind of bigotry. Ageism is too general, because that can just as easily be old people hating on young people.
Thanks for listening. I'm on tren and feeling VERY irritable and aggressive lately, lol!
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10-12-2011, 07:59 AM #2
If you have a problem with old people in the gym I think we need to meet and sort it out SON !!!
Seriously, We dont have many older guys to be honest but what does piss me off are these skinny young personal trainers who have no idea how to train,eat or build muscle tissue. I even had one come to me and say how did I get so big when you only train for short perioids of time!! dickhead
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10-12-2011, 08:06 AM #3
You will be old one day. Read back your thread then, Im sure you will say ooops .. lol.. And i dont think the older person will like your comment that are on this forum .
Last edited by devildog1967; 10-12-2011 at 08:08 AM.
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10-12-2011, 08:07 AM #4
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10-12-2011, 08:09 AM #5
hahahaha! totally know what your talking about. hate when those old fvckers just flaunt around, put a towel on your old wrinkly ass! no offense at times roman!!!!!
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10-12-2011, 08:19 AM #6
That's just funny and pathetic coming from a trainer. I remember being young and dumb training for 2 hrs a day, 6 days a week and wondering why I wasnt huge.
I hear you about the locker room. I keep wonder if most of them turn gay or just stupid after 60? What pisses me off is most of them spend like 3x longer than I do on the treadmill, I cant last that long. OK I do go a little faster than most of them and I'm not worried about falling and breaking a hip. LOL
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10-12-2011, 08:21 AM #7
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10-12-2011, 08:23 AM #8
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you need to hit a more hardcore gym where the oldies dont hang out, you will however have to suffer the stupid fvcking teenies injuring themselves with ludicrous weights
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10-12-2011, 08:24 AM #9
Grey hair is better than no hair, eh brice?
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10-12-2011, 08:27 AM #10
i will take the old fvcks daily over the teenie bopper crowd.
the fvcking kids today make me want to really hurt someone.
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10-12-2011, 08:27 AM #11
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10-12-2011, 08:32 AM #12
awe...G...must be lack of sleep from being a new daddy....lol
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10-12-2011, 08:37 AM #13"Decide you want it ƸӜƷ more than your afraid of it"Recognized Member Winner - $100
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this is hillarious too me!
one day my teen got a new girl friend and was on the cell with her all day, we dragged him to the gym, his cell died but he carries his charger with him cuz the batery is old...he ended up sitting in the locker room ~cell plugged into the wall~ texting girlfriend entire hour and half~ emerged traumatized~ jibbering about wrinkly @ss...we of course still tease him about it, cuz thats how we roll- lol
FOR YOUR AMUZMENT Walking Miss Clarabelle: Why I Hate Old People
Published under The Comedy Series.
It all started with a call from my friend Dave. Dave works part time at the local senior citizens home taking patients out for their daily walks. Some people walk dogs for a living; Dave walks old people. Apparently Dave had lost his wallet the night before, and was now stuck all the way in the Bronx. He explained that he would definitely be fired if he missed one more day at work, and then begged me to cover for him just this one time. He pleaded, “Please, I promise you it’s so easy. My patient’s name is Miss Clarabelle, and I swear she’s literally the sweetest old lady in the world. All you have to do is go take her on a walk around the block; and then to her favorite little diner on 7th Ave. She even pays for lunch, how simple is that?” Of course I’ve learned from experience that nothing is ever that simple with Dave. However as much as I had no desire to spend my whole Saturday afternoon “Walking Miss Daisy”, I couldn’t just let my friend lose his job. Mainly because then his stank feet would be on my couch for the next 3 months. So, I finally agreed to cover for his ass just this once, for 45 bucks and plus of course the free lunch.
When I arrived at the center, as promised Miss Clarabelle was already sitting in her chair ready to go. Miss Clarabelle was a little frail 75 year old white woman with varicose veins and smoking a huge cigar. With a big smile I introduced myself and explained that I would be replacing Dave for the day. To my surprise, she didn’t say a word. I assumed she had a bit of a hearing problem, so I repeated myself again much louder. Still, although she was looking right at me she said absolutely nothing. At that moment Miss Clarabelle’s day nurse walked in the room and said “Oh she heard just you fine. She’s just being difficult. She won’t say too much to you today at all. Although she may call you a spear chuckin’ ****** if she gets the notion. But pay her no mind.” I thought “Wow, this is just great. I’m stuck for the day babysitting Mel Gibson’s grandmother. Dave strikes again.” As I began helping Miss Clarabelle to her walker, the nurse turned to me and said “By the way, did Dave tell you? Because of Miss Clarabelle’s medical condition; she must go to the bathroom every single day at noon. If bowel gets backed up in her system, she could get real sick and die. Now she’s not going to remind you, because she absolutely hates to go. But it’s extremely important she does. She doesn’t have a choice.” I thought “Great, another thing that asshole conveniently forgot to include.” I swear it never pays to be nice. Miss Clarabelle and I then began our journey around the streets of Brooklyn.
I quickly learned that nothing on this entire planet is near as excruciating as trying to take an old 75 year old woman for a walk. Every single step seemed like an eternity. First, it would take everything she had just to scoot her little walker up literally a whole half an inch. Then, I’d have to sit there and watch patiently while she spent the next five minutes trying to catch up to it with her feet. Then if that wasn’t bad enough; every now and then she would somehow get confused and forget which way she was walking. This of course meant I’d have to wait an additional 6 minutes just for her to untangle her legs and head the right way again. Believe it or not, it took us close to 45 minutes just to make it out front to the sidewalk. Finally not able to take it anymore; as soon as we got out of eye range of the building; I placed Miss Clarabelle in the little built in seat and proceeded to push her the rest of the way. I figured at that rate, summer would be over by the time we made it back.
We finally arrived at the little diner around the block, and sat down for what had to be the most awkward lunch of my life. The entire time we ate, Miss Clarabelle just sat there and dog stared me in complete silence, while she gummed away at her little low sodium pretzel sticks she brought from home. I mean, you could literally hear a pin drop at the table. This lunch could not go by fast enough. I just happened to look at the clock and realize it was noon. Remembering the stiff warning I got from the nurse, I immediately sprung into action. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
Me: Uhhm Miss Clarabelle. You see the clock? It’s 12:00pm.
Clarabelle: So.
Me: Well, you have to go to the restroom right?
Clarabelle: No I don’t.
Me: But your nurse said you have to go every day at noon.
Clarabelle: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Me: She said it’s kind of crucial that you go, or else you’ll get sick.
Clarabelle: I don’t have to go. I went before we left.
Completely baffled, I’m now thinking “Well if she doesn’t have to go, I certainly can’t make her.” Just to be safe, I called up the nurse and informed her that she obviously didn’t have to go. The nurse then replied, “Don’t pay her any mind. She does this all the time. You need to make her go otherwise she will die.” I thought “WTF!! I basically had minutes to force Miss Clarabelle to go pee against her will; or else end up with an old dead white woman on my hands. What kind of a f*cked up Bruce Willis movie was this? I felt like I was starring in “Pee Hard 2 With a Vengeance”. This was not how I imagined my Saturday afternoon going. I finally took a deep breath; and then calmly explained, “Miss Clarabelle, I just spoke with your nurse. She says that you have to go to the restroom whether you want to or not. Now either we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. It’s up to you?” Miss Clarabelle just looked away and began whistling like I wasn’t even there. I realized then that this was not going to be pretty.
Determined to save this old lady’s life, I stood up from my seat and exclaimed, “Okay Miss Clarabelle, time to go make water.” To my surprise, as slow as she moves; she suddenly jumped up without her walker and tried to make a mad dash for the door. Or at least her version of one. The diner was small and pretty narrow, with about 5 booths on each side and a little restroom back in the center of the room, just big enough for a toilet and a sink. With no other choice; I grabbed Miss Clarabelle by the arm, and literally began pulling her back to the restroom kicking and screaming. Now picture me; a little 5’6 Black guy; struggling to pull this 75 year old white woman into a public restroom against her will while everyone in the whole diner looks on. In that instant I thought, “Why does this sh*t always end up happening to me?” Of course being the only Black guy in the place, I could only imagine what was going through everyone’s head. I’m sure they all thought I was some perverted little geriatric rapist, out for some poontane at any cost. Any second now, I just knew someone was going to reach for their pepper spray. After about several minutes of us seriously struggling in the middle of this dining room; one of the ladies eating at the counter shouted out “The other guy usually just carries her in there. It’s much easier that way.” Then everyone went back to eating as if this happens every single day. I immediately thought, “I’m gonna kill that f*ckin Dave!” Then just as she suggested, I picked Clarabelle’s old ass up over my shoulders, and carried her into the restroom with her screaming and fighting.
Once inside the little bathroom stall, Clarabelle still refused to go. For the next 10 minutes I had to literally wrestle with her to get her panties and stockings down; while she tried to bite my hands with her dentures. I thought, “Man…this picture is wrong on soooo many levels.” As soon as I finally managed to get her little old lady stockings down below her saggy ass; she quickly crisscrossed her legs so I couldn’t get them down below her knees. This old brawd had skills. When I still didn’t give up, she yelled out “Rape! Rape! There’s a spear chuckin’ ****** in here trying to rape me!” I then heard a random female voice yell casually back from the other side, “Clarabelle honey, you know its noon! You have to go or you’ll get sick and die!” I guess Clarabelle finally exhausted herself out and decided to give in; and talk about “Thar she blows.” The second her old ass hit the seat it was like a giant pee bomb suddenly went off inside her vagina. Honestly, I had no idea pee could even shoot out at that velocity. And nothing on this entire planet, can compare to the odor of a 75 year old woman’s piss. The flies in the room even had a look on their faces like, “Man…what the f*ck is that?” I mean; I’ve even been tear gassed before, but tear gas had nothing on Miss Clarabelle’s piss. I could physically see the oxygen leaving the room. I quickly realized if that was what number 1 smelled like; there was no way in hell I was waiting around for number 2. Unable to hold my breath a second longer, I mustered up enough strength to say, “Miss Clarabelle I’m going to step out for a moment and give you your privacy.”
I went back to my seat and attempted to catch my breath for a few minutes. I seriously could not believe what I had just gone through. I immediately pulled out my phone and tried to call Dave, but of course that bastard was nowhere to be found. I eventually calmed down when I realized that as crazy as that whole ordeal was; I was just beyond grateful that the difficult part was now at least over. I thought, “Finally, I can finish up my little lunch in peace.” Just then; the bathroom door suddenly swings wide open; and Miss Clarabelle is sitting there on the toilet with her panties down to her ankles, for the whole world to see. Then… at the top of her lunges; she yells out,”Okay I’m done. You can come wipe me now!!!”Last edited by SexySweetheart; 10-12-2011 at 08:45 AM.
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10-12-2011, 08:40 AM #14
g tell me about it. I used to work and train at "the atlantic club" it was like the last place old people went before they died
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10-12-2011, 09:07 AM #15
I bitch to my wife every time I get home from the gym, the people this age feel like they earned the right to walk around the locker room with there towel thrown over there shoulder strutting around with their prune sack dragging across the floor. Then they sit their dirty naked ass on the bench. Have some respect man, none of us want to see your wrinkly piece of flesh you call your body.
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10-12-2011, 09:09 AM #16
Ok, there's an exception to every 'rule'. You're one old man I ain't fvcking with!!!
Seriously though - i'm talking about these senior citizens... limping around, can barely stand straight - and they're all over my gym! Sometimes I feel like i'm in the middle of a scene from 'Night of the Living Dead'.
Ugh, another issue all together, and equally infuriating!!!
I hear you bro, and I know i'll get there one day too. But I can only think and pray that i'll have sense enough to step out of the way and not look all pathetic and decrepit. Maybe i'm wrong... hopefully not.
I've wondered that myself... like... wtf? Or are they SUCH homophobes, they have to overcompensate by showing how much it doesn't bother them?
We have those a-holes at night! I go at 5:30am... unfortunately not too many hardcore people there. Only me and a bunch of bored, useless bags of bones!
Ouch, touche!! I knew somebody was comin' at me... never expected it to be you Hit!!
Yea, they're fvcking obnoxious as well.
lol! lack of sleep + tren = very angry GB.
Dude, is it in Jersey? Did they rename it 365 Fitness? I SWEAR this is the same thing I think about my place... they come to my gym to die!!
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10-12-2011, 09:10 AM #17
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10-12-2011, 09:14 AM #18
man Times, did not know u were so old...
u and marcus are the grandfathers of the board.....
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10-12-2011, 09:19 AM #19
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10-12-2011, 09:19 AM #20
I SEE OLD PEOPLE.....
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10-12-2011, 09:21 AM #21
yeah, but i'mm in a helluva lot better shape than most blokes half my age...
....you can't beat time, but if you take care of yourself, eat right, exercise, then you can still age yet not deteriorate/atrophy. Look at Jack Lalanne, he was doing stunts at 70 most guys would never be able to do... ever!
handcuffed, swimming, pulling 20 row boats, while swimming from Alcatraz to Fort point.
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10-12-2011, 09:28 AM #22
tren
Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.Author Unknown
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10-12-2011, 09:52 AM #23
Dude, it's not the age, the number means nothing to me. As I said it's these decrepit old near death people limping around my gym, getting in the way, etc. You have no idea... it literally looks like a Betty Ford/rehab clinic and not a gym. I'm pretty sure you don't fit the description I have in mind. Marcus might however.
lol wow... well, my gym isn't in Red Bank, but I live 5 mins from Red Bank so it's close enough! A new Workout World opened in Red Bank pretty recently. I wonder if that's the one? Do you remember if it was on West Front Street?
Exactly - and I wouldn't think twice about you at my gym.
x2 bro. There are VERY few people in my gym that fit this description. My gym looks like a fvcking retirement community in the morning. A nursing home would be a better description.
lmao, very likely the issue! Although I have to say this has bothered me forever, just not this much to the point I felt compelled to rant on here about it!
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10-12-2011, 09:54 AM #24
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10-12-2011, 10:13 AM #25
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10-12-2011, 10:42 AM #27
I dunno base.... your avi of E Mendez is doing something to me.... and it's only been two weeks since i've been without..... and won't get any til around Feb..... sheesh!!
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10-12-2011, 10:57 AM #28
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10-12-2011, 11:20 AM #29
I will never be able to understand old guys walking around/shaving/lounging naked in the locker room.
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10-12-2011, 11:29 AM #30
No Atlantic club in red bank is by the Pontiac dealer and the dunkin donuts off of broad way in shrewsbury.. It's still there.. It's like 10 mins from the workout world on west front.. And 365 fitness used to be golds gym like 5 years ago.. By the way, GB, we go to the same gym.. And those old people in the morning are always naked.. Ugh
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10-12-2011, 11:45 AM #31
Seems to be a level standard all across the world. Happens here too it's hideous.
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10-12-2011, 11:50 AM #32
Yep... smgdh
Gotcha. Never noticed it in the past...
Wow, no shit? Are you there in the morning? I knew i'd run across somebody sooner or later who goes there. Bro, the morning is PATHETIC. It's the only gym i've ever seen where there is literally no trace of a hot girl in sight. At night is a different story all together, but in the morning? Hardly EVER.
lol, looks like i'll never escape it!
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10-12-2011, 11:57 AM #33
I think it's cos they are old they just don't give a flying **** about their balls hanging out.
May I direct you to this add from a local Mobile company.
http://www.tvads.ie/ads/1231-meteor-naked-gym-guy
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10-12-2011, 12:00 PM #34
I go at all different times, I work shifts so I always try to go straight from work b4 I go home.. Or else it's hard to get the motivation to go back.. But yeah the morning is funny.. The same super old guy that walks like 0.2 miles per hour and wears the adidas type nylon pants and new balance sneakers is in the bathroom shitting at the same time every morning.. And there is another guy that seems to know everyone and just walks around talking.. U have to know him but I can't describe Him.. I used to like the guy and his son that used to work there n repair the equipment n cut the lawn but they had a falling out n he isn't there anymore.. And they comb there hair, brush their teeth, everything with no clothes on in the locker room
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10-12-2011, 12:28 PM #35
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10-12-2011, 01:14 PM #36
Cool... i'm sure we've crossed paths at one time or another.
OMFG don't even get me going... I don't know about this guy specifically but these people shitting there in the morning is another issue that drives me nuts! Like, you were JUST fvcking home a few minutes ago, couldn't you shit then? How can you shit and then workout and sweat ya nasty ass mofo!!
Holy shit... I have NO doubt whatsoever that you're referring to a guy named Todd. He just leans on the closest piece of equipment and proceeds to talk the person's ear off?
Yea, that was Mark. I didn't know his son but knew him pretty well. He was cool but got annoying after a while. I hate people coming up to me while i'm working out... i'm not there to socialize lol! The morning is like one big disfunctional social group!
Yep... I fvcking hate that. And these assholes who shave there... like, really? There are like 2 sinks there, and i'd like to wash my hands after touching those filthy weights... and you gotta be in the way shaving for 10 mins? Inconsiderate pricks!!!Last edited by gbrice75; 10-12-2011 at 02:44 PM.
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10-12-2011, 01:41 PM #37
haha im not sure if his name is todd but sounds like you know who i am talking about.. the morning is crazy. there is often times that i go on rants after leaving in the morning... when i go in the morning im there from like 830-1015.. but im off today so im about to go there now and avoid the rush..
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10-12-2011, 02:11 PM #38
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10-12-2011, 02:22 PM #39
G go easy on the fifty mark I dont think thats old as Iam chapping the door myself lol, it seems that when you become a sage bag you are allowed to sit with your bollocks resting on the bench with your legs wide open our just stand in the middle of the changing room and hold a conversation as if its totally natural
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10-12-2011, 02:49 PM #40
Ahh ok... i'm out of there by 8am tops. When I go on weekends, I get there around 9am.
^^^ this!!
lol again bro, I said already it's not about the age/number specifically. These people look like the walking dead.
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