Gilfriend thinks its ok to hang out with exes

[cherrydrpepper]

Ok my girlfriend of over a year thinks its ok to go out just for lunch or just for dinner with an ex. She always tells me when shes doing it and no I dont think she has or would cheat on me but to me its inappropriate and violates basic relationship code.

Im just looking for a im overreacting or its inappropriate and wouldn't mind getting some both girl/guy perspectives.

I should include backstory for full disclosure. I have gotten drunk at least three times and gone to the strip club and told her about it at the end of the night and she trusts me not to cheat.

[gixxerboy1]

I still talk to ex's. My wife knows.

[Tigershark]

This can only turn out horribly wrong. So no no no and hell no.

[BigBadWolf]

Would she be alright with you going to lunch with one of you ex's? If she doesn't care, play the field.

[Razor]

hell no

[gixxerboy1]

if someone want to cheat the will. It doesnt have to be with an ex. You either trust or you dont

[DanB]

Mabey she has no interest in cheating on you, but you can be 99% sure that he is looking for a ride, not what you want to hear but hey lets call a spade a spade here, I know only reason me and pretty much anybody else I know gets back talking to the ex is to either ride her or in the hope of riding her (gixxer we know you the exception here but in fairness your an anomoly, you have scary willpower)

If you trust her then its cool, but if there any doubt in your head at all then having an ex sniffing around is the last thing your head needs . . . .

Just talk her about it if it bothers you that much actually dont do that, it wont end well,

Hold on your doing the long distance thing arent you, so that means she came out and told you knowing you would never find out if she didnt want you to yeah? then relax your fine, its normal ( i think ) to be thinking the way you are but she seems like a good girl for telling you

Relationship code, well thats a tough one, every relationship has a different one, every girl has a different idea of whats ok and what isnt and trying to tell her she wrong wont end well

[Schmidty]

would you go to dinner with a ex unless your trying to get your dick wet? 99% will say no...

[jimmyinkedup]

Im still good friends with my first wife - always will be. That being said I never go anywhere alone with her - ie: out to eat. I do this out of respect for my current spouse.
We talk from time to time or she will stop by (rarely) but only when we are both home. She came to see our new child 8 mobths ago.

While it was clearly understood when my current relationship started that we (ex and I) would always be friends - on the other hand I have obviously had sex with her in the past. I think its disrespectful , trust or not, to spend time alone with her. Its a topic that hasnt needed discussion as I would simply never do it.

[Jessgirl]

Double hell no! The easiest person to hook back up with, even for a night is an ex.....and they are ex.s for a reason.....exclude from your life!

[rockinred]

Im still good friends with my first wife - always will be. That being said I never go anywhere alone with her - ie: out to eat. I do this out of respect for my current spouse.
We talk from time to time or she will stop by (rarely) but only when we are both home. She came to see our new child 8 mobths ago.

While it was clearly understood when my current relationship started that we (ex and I) would always be friends - on the other hand I have obviously had sex with her in the past. I think its disrespectful , trust or not, to spend time alone with her. Its a topic that hasnt needed discussion as I would simply never do it.

That's pretty good bro... I think that about sums up how it should be.

[10nispro]

I agree with Jimmy. But you need to make it clear how it makes you feel and you are not comfortable with it happening. If she really does care for you, she should understand and stop doing it.

[jimmyinkedup]

Ok CDP-
Look heres what you can do. Next time she has plans to do this - right before call her or show up at her house. Tell her your plans changed and you figured you would go to lunch with her and so and so.
Her reaction will say it all.
If she wants to know why simply tell her if she is friends with them then you think you should be too.
If she flips - you will know why. Dont let the script be flipped and listen to a trust lecture. There is only one reason she would get pissed - because something isnt right about what she is doing and she knows it.

As I said above - trust or not - its disrespectful.

[Razor]

Make sure you drink cherrydrpepper b4 this too

[cherrydrpepper]

Make sure you drink cherrydrpepper b4 this too

Razr you bastard lol


I have an update. A little more backstory - this girl is one of the nicest girls ive ever met in my life and I don't think shes ever cheated on me. I think she has some wierd thing about doesn't like to lose friends even guy friends I don't know.

Ok so we argued for an hour. I asked her if as a comprimise based on what Jimmy said if she could just hang out with these guys when other people are around so its not like a date. She is not ok with this. She has put pressure on me to get married many times. We are very compatible and I am very very attracted to her, she is my "type" per se. Back to how she is a good girl, she called her parents for advice after we first talked earlier tonight. Her dad said what she is doing is not ok, and her mom said it was ok. Yes we are long distance and she didn't have to tell me she went out with a guy. She confessed during the conversation one reason was I have friends where she lives and if one saw her out he would call me and that would be the end. I think she told me because shes basically a good honest person.

At the end of the argument we were at an impasse. I told her im not ok with her going on these dates with her exes. I asked again if she could just hang out with them when other people are around. I told her Im going to bed. She says "Ok thats good cause Sean (one of her other exes) is calling me".

It just really sucks.. her sister married a categorical abusive control freak. The type of guy who cuts their woman down until the woman is totally submissive and low self esteemed and dependent on the guy. I think she is overcompensating because of it. She sees my behavior as something he would do.

I don't think I can yield on this topic. Things like this, you get married and they are still there causing arguments from what I hear. I don't think she really loves me as much as she says she does if she can't bend on this one thing.

[jimmyinkedup]

Ask her if its cool if you start going to out to dinner with your ex's ?
btw - the "thats good cause sean is calling me" comment = immature , childish, hurtful bvllshit.
I would never disrespect my sigificant other by doing what she is - and I would never accept it personally from her. Dont get me wrong , you dont always get what you give, and thats ok. Its one thing thats makes a relationship function. Each having strengths and weaknesses and having them work together as a unit. However 2 things not negotiable for me are respect and consideration. I expect those things to be equal.
To each his own.

[t-gunz]

i think let her go mate.

worst case is she cheats.

makes it easy then u guys werent meant to be together.

[loki_is_a_god]

**** that noise.....I bet she would have a cow....if you went to "lunch or dinner" with your exs

[10nispro]

See if you can find the number to one of her ex's. Call him and ask why they broke up, who broke up with whom, and if she did the same to them as she is doing to you.

[SexySweetheart]

wow a tuffey... I mean every X is so different...but if its bothering you for what ever the reason no matter how silly or right, than its valid to ask her to not see him.
its difficult to let a friend go but you and your feelings should be priority, she may need some time comming to terms with loosing a friend.

Im fine with tigers X wife and his other X who's mom he is still very close to, we see often..but there is 1 X that he knows seriously gets under my skin an drives full on jelious girl nutty ~ and he respects that

.... but i dont know if you send her (unknowingly) some mixed signals about your relationship (like you do here cherry lol) she may pick up on how you go between wanting to marry her or date other chix and if thats the case she prob isnt feeling secure in the relationship and will def not wanna loose a long standing friend over her bf that could vanish tomorrow for a blond he meets at work (just a gals point of view )

best of luck <3

[DeadlyD]

That's bull sh*t! You should never feel that way in a relationship(mistrust) I have been through the same thing bro, I won't do it again!

[big_ron]

At the end of the day she should respect you, and how you feel, if you feel a certain way about it how are you over reacting? everyone is different, some may not care, you obviously do. and i feel you went with what you thought was right but saying she can go on these meet ups, but you actually feel shit about it. thats no good. tell her how you really feel!!!!! She should respect that.

Exactly what sexy4mysweetheart said. Im sure her rship with her ex is not as important as making you feel uneasy in your rship. I have also had to go through my partner (we are fairly young) with hanging with guy friends who she just views as mates but they have something for her. She now see's its wrong. You have to bring it across in away and hopefully she will agree with it also.

[Standby]

im with gixxer. if she is gunna fvck someone else do you really think it will be the dude she dumped or the dude sitting behind him? maybe thats it. its a front to go stock the next dude she will bang at his favorite place to eat

[Razor]

fcking bitches...cant ever do shit the right way

[SexySweetheart]

fcking bitches...cant ever do shit the right way

awww maybe this well help lol

[songdog]

You dont put a steak in front of a wolf and not expect him to eat it would you? That is asking for trouble!!!!

[wmaousley]

This can only turn out horribly wrong. So no no no and hell no.

Agreed, once there has been sexual contact in the past, whats to stop it in the future????????

[gearbox]

Ok my girlfriend of over a year thinks its ok to go out just for lunch or just for dinner with an ex. She always tells me when shes doing it and no I dont think she has or would cheat on me but to me its inappropriate and violates basic relationship code.

Im just looking for a im overreacting or its inappropriate and wouldn't mind getting some both girl/guy perspectives.

I should include backstory for full disclosure. I have gotten drunk at least three times and gone to the strip club and told her about it at the end of the night and she trusts me not to cheat.

hell ya it does, she should know better. and I am worried there is a problem with her if she doesnt. unless she is really that naive

[Razor]

Any body have a cherrydrpepper? I'm fcking thirsty

[soulstealer]

No ****in way... that situation is ****ed... dont let her lie to you...

[Jessgirl]

i think let her go mate.

worst case is she cheats.

makes it easy then u guys werent meant to be together.

True....I personally would not have desire to,especially when happy in relationship

[Honkey_Kong]

CDP, listen to this recording:

[Flier]

Immature, and lack of respect and dedication.
Ex´s shouldn´t even be on FB.
And Cherry, what are u still doing at Titty bars? What a ridiculous concept. Pathetic men drooling over half their age girls, actually thinking they have game....lol
If I went to a Strip club, my GF would break up with me, and rightfully so. If she went out for lunch or whatever with an ex, she wouldn´t hear from me again.

[moseley2004]

Me I personally I'd give her the flick, if u still talk to them why make them your ex? An ex is an ex for a reason

[stpete]

Unacceptable. End of story.

[DSM4Life]

Razr you bastard lol


I have an update. A little more backstory - this girl is one of the nicest girls ive ever met in my life and I don't think shes ever cheated on me. I think she has some wierd thing about doesn't like to lose friends even guy friends I don't know.

Ok so we argued for an hour. I asked her if as a comprimise based on what Jimmy said if she could just hang out with these guys when other people are around so its not like a date. She is not ok with this. She has put pressure on me to get married many times. We are very compatible and I am very very attracted to her, she is my "type" per se. Back to how she is a good girl, she called her parents for advice after we first talked earlier tonight. Her dad said what she is doing is not ok, and her mom said it was ok. Yes we are long distance and she didn't have to tell me she went out with a guy. She confessed during the conversation one reason was I have friends where she lives and if one saw her out he would call me and that would be the end. I think she told me because shes basically a good honest person.

At the end of the argument we were at an impasse. I told her im not ok with her going on these dates with her exes. I asked again if she could just hang out with them when other people are around. I told her Im going to bed. She says "Ok thats good cause Sean (one of her other exes) is calling me".

It just really sucks.. her sister married a categorical abusive control freak. The type of guy who cuts their woman down until the woman is totally submissive and low self esteemed and dependent on the guy. I think she is overcompensating because of it. She sees my behavior as something he would do.

I don't think I can yield on this topic. Things like this, you get married and they are still there causing arguments from what I hear. I don't think she really loves me as much as she says she does if she can't bend on this one thing.

You guys going to have makeup sex?

[cherrydrpepper]

Honkey Kong that recording is amazing. DSM your a dik lol

[Flagg]

No way.

I don't understand people staying in contact with exes. I dont make a habit of staying in contact with mine, and I wouldn't expect my partner to keep hanging out with hers. I don't care what kind of modern world we live in now, it just seems disrespectful to me.

[SEOINAGE]

See if you can find the number to one of her ex's. Call him and ask why they broke up, who broke up with whom, and if she did the same to them as she is doing to you.

hmmm, I had an ex that if I had called any of her ex's or guy friend she would have had a heart attack and flipped out, needless to say she is the one ex of mine that I wouldn't never want to hear from again.

My wife doesn't even let me be facebook friends with ex's especially if she knows I slept with them. I agree with others, lunch or dinner with an ex is a bad idea. Even if that's all it is to her you know what the dude wants if he could get it.

[jasc]

It's a matter of respect.. No way in hell I'd put up with that.

Just like someone already mentioned, even if her intentions are good, he's trying to fvck her. Naive or not, she likes the attention from him.

If I'm going to be faithful n respectful, I expect the same.