Big decision

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 04:30 PM

So my wife knew I had used gear in the past. To be honest I've done much worse and she's well aware of it all. Unfortunately I kept using gear throughout our relationship behind her back. About a month ago she found out. The truth is the guilt got to me and I told her. It's been a serious strain on our marriage. Not a deal breaker bad, but pretty bad. Anyways, after long conversations and a lot of soul searching, I've promised my wife that I won't use steroids again. I don't really talk about my relationship with the people in my personal life, but I think there's a good lesson here. I know personally that I can become obsessive with my training, to the point of being destructive to other aspects of my life. I don't think I'm the only one. Anyways, I think I'm just trying to say keep everything in perspective. Bodybuilding is one of the greatest things in the world, but not the only thing.

**austinite** · 10-28-2012, 04:33 PM

Steroids are more important than family.

Kidding of course. Not worth it bro. Even if we believe it's harmless when done right, chances of non-users understanding is zero. Besides, you're sooooo young. Just keep killing it at the gym. You've already won the race, you got your wife

**Lunk1** · 10-28-2012, 04:52 PM

Did she demand you stop?? Did she give you an ultimatum? If not then you set yourself up for failure. This might not be the best example but I remeber early in my marriage my wife would get bent when I looked at other women. I made nent promises oer the years that I would stop.

Of course I never stopped and this caused a number of fights. It wasnt till she figured out that I was going to look and that I wasnt misbehaving did she stop getting pssied but the fact that I had lied about stopping got me in equal or even more trouble

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Did she demand you stop?? Did she give you an ultimatum? If not then you set yourself up for failure. This might not be the best example but I remeber early in my marriage my wife would get bent when I looked at other women. I made nent promises oer the years that I would stop.

Of course I never stopped and this caused a number of fights. It wasnt till she figured out that I was going to look and that I wasnt misbehaving did she stop getting pssied but the fact that I had lied about stopping got me in equal or even more trouble

No, she didn't demand I stop, and there was no ultimatum. She's battled with eating disorders her whole life, and finding out how obsessed I was with my physique really churned up those feelings. And of course the going behind her back was the icing on the cake. I came to the decision on my own. I don't think I really understood what it's like for her, being in that constant struggle with her self image until this all came out. And let's face it, if I'm willing to go so far as juice behind my wife's back i may have a little distorted self image myself. So I've decided to put the gear on the shelf. I'm still gonna whore though, Lunk, and act like a know it all

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

Steroids are more important than family.

Kidding of course. Not worth it bro. Even if we believe it's harmless when done right, chances of non-users understanding is zero. Besides, you're sooooo young. Just keep killing it at the gym. You've already won the race, you got your wife

Thanks aust!!!

I'll have to make myself a prime example to the REALLY young kids who come on here looking to use. Show them how far you can go without. It's to bad I can't change my name, NaturalBigshot has a nice ring to it...

**Times Roman** · 10-28-2012, 05:59 PM

in a few more years, you just might be ready for TRT! =)

would she have a problem with that?

Would you have a tendency to backslide once she knows you're pinning again?

**Lunk1** · 10-28-2012, 06:30 PM

I appreciate your decision to put your marriage at the top of your priority list. I guess I consider myself fortunate that my wife is OK with my lifestyle and I have NEVER had to be dishonest or go behind her back. Ok...maybe about some $ spent on gear but......lol.

Hopefully the two of you can get back/stay on track and then a compromise can be made through open discussion that makes you both happy! The reality of this lifestyle choice is that it should NOT be placed as a higher priority than health and relationships (of any kind) ever.

I am glad you will still be whoring...otherwise you might rub that thing raw while on the job site

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

in a few more years, you just might be ready for TRT! =)

would she have a problem with that?

Would you have a tendency to backslide once she knows you're pinning again?

She's an RN, so she understands the point of TRT, and I have no doubt she'd be into it. The biggest issues were putting bodybuilding and steroid use before our relationship, doing it behind her back, and bringing up feelings from when she had an eating disorder. As far as damaging my body, she understands that TRT can be hugely beneficial but has issue with taking supra-physiological doses.

By backslide do you mean start TRT and fall back into using for bodybuilding purposes? If so than no, not if it jeopardizes our marriage. But I think I would broach the subject in the future and talk about it.

**< <Samson> >** · 10-28-2012, 07:27 PM

Sure wish my GF was into fitness as much as I am.

But, it is cool that she is 100% on for me being into body building. She is there for me and if it wasn't for her I would have not ran my first cycle. I had a insane fear of pinning. She just stepped up and said don't let that hold you back. She has done all my shots so far. I think I could do them now, but she got me to this point.

I don't see how steroids effect a "true" relationship. I do not see steroids a mind altering substance. I may be wrong, but that is just my opinion. I can't see anyone really stealing or using the last of their money to buy and pay for juice.

Just my 2 Cents.

Good luck bro.

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

I appreciate your decision to put your marriage at the top of your priority list. I guess I consider myself fortunate that my wife is OK with my lifestyle and I have NEVER had to be dishonest or go behind her back. Ok...maybe about some $ spent on gear but......lol.

Hopefully the two of you can get back/stay on track and then a compromise can be made through open discussion that makes you both happy! The reality of this lifestyle choice is that it should NOT be placed as a higher priority than health and relationships (of any kind) ever.

I am glad you will still be whoring...otherwise you might rub that thing raw while on the job site

Maybe she would have been if I had just told her from the get go, but unfortunately I made an immature decision and kept it a secret. Who knows what the future holds, I just need to ensure I keep my priorities straight. Thanks for the support Lunk!!

On a separate note; I've been stuck up here so long I've rubbed it down to a nub. It's like an acorn glued to my torso.

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-28-2012, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

Sure wish my GF was into fitness as much as I am.

But, it is cool that she is 100% on for me being into body building. She is there for me and if it wasn't for her I would have not ran my first cycle. I had a insane fear of pinning. She just stepped up and said don't let that hold you back. She has done all my shots so far. I think I could do them now, but she got me to this point.

I don't see how steroids effect a "true" relationship. I do not see steroids a mind altering substance. I may be wrong, but that is just my opinion. I can't see anyone really stealing or using the last of their money to buy and pay for juice.

Just my 2 Cents.

Good luck bro.

I hear ya bud. It's more the trust issue that's hurt the relationship. We're definitely working through it very successfully.

**< <Samson> >** · 10-28-2012, 07:54 PM

Understandable. . . . Not to be a tool bad, but why hide something like this?

I see guys on here talking about it and it just seems dumb.

I just don't see how you can hide something this big or have the need to. If you do have to hide it, something is just nor right in your relationship. Of course there are things I don't bring up in my relationship. But, those things are just minor BS. Even then I like keeping my relationship as truthful as possible. i.e. I got to a titty bar with one of my friends. They just make shit up to their wives, I just let my Gf know. What's there to hide?

Just my approach, I know not all people are like this.

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by < <Samson> >

Understandable. . . . Not to be a tool bad, but why hide something like this?

I see guys on here talking about it and it just seems dumb.

I just don't see how you can hide something this big or have the need to. If you do have to hide it, something is just nor right in your relationship. Of course there are things I don't bring up in my relationship. But, those things are just minor BS. Even then I like keeping my relationship as truthful as possible. i.e. I got to a titty bar with one of my friends. They just make shit up to their wives, I just let my Gf know. What's there to hide?

Just my approach, I know not all people are like this.

Samson, you are absolutely right. And the truth is, if I had told her from the get go she would have disagreed, but would have been open to discussing and probably would understand. I hear the same guys talking about hiding it and I don't get it either, so if you ever get an answer let me know. Bottom line, I don't have to hide anything from her, I just did. Now I need to man up, and learn. Thank god she loves me as much as she does!!!

**Lunk1** · 10-29-2012, 07:59 AM

BSV...I actually showed this to my wife last night. She confirmed that the biggest issue of course is the deception. Her POV was that she knows I am going to do what I am going to do regardless so she wouldn't argue the point. Just doesn't like being lied to and there is no difference between decieving and lying.

If you want to cycle then as you said "man up" and discuss it openly and rationaly. I am sure she will be more open this way.

Granted...since the deception already happened it may require some time and a little water under the bridge

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

BSV...I actually showed this to my wife last night. She confirmed that the biggest issue of course is the deception. Her POV was that she knows I am going to do what I am going to do regardless so she wouldn't argue the point. Just doesn't like being lied to and there is no difference between decieving and lying.

If you want to cycle then as you said "man up" and discuss it openly and rationaly. I am sure she will be more open this way.

Granted...since the deception already happened it may require some time and a little water under the bridge

You hit the nail on the head Lunk. Fortunately she's an amazing women!!!

Thank your wife for me, it's nice to have a female perspective.

**lovbyts** · 10-29-2012, 08:29 AM

I'm one of the lucky ones when I told my wife about TRT and cycling she just looked it up and said what about this or that and understood my views and decission. She is OK with it since she understands it.

Talk to her in regards to TRT so she will understand it's not like the news media makes it out to be. Show her some of the HRT lititure.

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

I'm one of the lucky ones when I told my wife about TRT and cycling she just looked it up and said what about this or that and understood my views and decission. She is OK with it since she understands it.

Talk to her in regards to TRT so she will understand it's not like the news media makes it out to be. Show her some of the HRT lititure.

Thanks lovbyts. Your user name is ironically accurate. She's a health care provider, so she understands the benefit of TRT. We have talked about it, and she's ok with it as long as we're sure that we're done having children when the time comes to go on it.

**austinite** · 10-29-2012, 08:44 AM

I'm going to support you and go AAS free.

until 6pm today.

**AXx** · 10-29-2012, 08:44 AM

It was a conversation with my wife that lasted a while. She understands and has administered TRT to patients. She didn't/don't have a problem with me blasting but she just doesn't want me to get all mentally freaked she said. She actually watches me administer sometimes!!

Of course we all see gear as a benefit and help. Others view it as illegal bad stuff. I'm willing I bet if you approach her at a later date and put it in a genuine tone she will listen and possibly concur

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by austinite

I'm going to support you and go AAS free.

until 6pm today.

Brothers in solidarity. Until 6pm Today

**AdrenalineJunkie** · 10-29-2012, 08:51 AM

Goodluck man. Im in a similar boat but my girl said she'll never ask me to change who I am or tell me what to do. However, its one of those cases where she has made it very clear she disapproves... it's a tough call for me too. Some moments she'll even joke about it and ask about it and even act interested, and other times you can tell it totally rubs her the wrong way. I have always been 100% honest about it and never hidden any of it from her, so I think that's why she accepts my decision. But she's the type of girl I'd do anything for so I feel where you are coming from and know the tough decision you had to face. I don't have plans for a next cycle until December, but I have some thinking to do.

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by AXx

It was a conversation with my wife that lasted a while. She understands and has administered TRT to patients. She didn't/don't have a problem with me blasting but she just doesn't want me to get all mentally freaked she said. She actually watches me administer sometimes!!

Of course we all see gear as a benefit and help. Others view it as illegal bad stuff. I'm willing I bet if you approach her at a later date and put it in a genuine tone she will listen and possibly concur

Only time will tell my friend. We're off to a good start though, a couple days ago she asked if I had any left over needles so that she could dig out a sliver....

**Lunk1** · 10-29-2012, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by Bigshotvictoria

Only time will tell my friend. We're off to a good start though, a couple days ago she asked if I had any left over needles so that she could dig out a sliver....

I would have responded "no I need all of them I have" or "you can have the one I used today" lol

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-29-2012, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

I would have responded "no I need all of them I have" or "you can have the one I used today" lol

Damn, that would have solved all my problems

**Lunk1** · 10-29-2012, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by Bigshotvictoria

Damn, that would have solved all my problems

Well...might have solved ONE problem lol. I'm glad I have a pretty solid jaw and can take a right hook cause my wife can deliver one like a dude!

**warmouth** · 10-29-2012, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by austinite

I'm going to support you and go AAS free.

until 6pm today.

You good now?

**lovbyts** · 10-30-2012, 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by Bigshotvictoria

Only time will tell my friend. We're off to a good start though, a couple days ago she asked if I had any left over needles so that she could dig out a sliver....

LOL I keep one or two in the bathroom drawer just for those type of emergencies. They are the best for things like that due to how sharp they are.

**cherrydrpepper** · 10-30-2012, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by Bigshotvictoria

So my wife knew I had used gear in the past. To be honest I've done much worse and she's well aware of it all. Unfortunately I kept using gear throughout our relationship behind her back. About a month ago she found out. The truth is the guilt got to me and I told her. It's been a serious strain on our marriage. Not a deal breaker bad, but pretty bad. Anyways, after long conversations and a lot of soul searching, I've promised my wife that I won't use steroids again. I don't really talk about my relationship with the people in my personal life, but I think there's a good lesson here. I know personally that I can become obsessive with my training, to the point of being destructive to other aspects of my life. I don't think I'm the only one. Anyways, I think I'm just trying to say keep everything in perspective. Bodybuilding is one of the greatest things in the world, but not the only thing.

Hey Im about to jump in the shower so just read the first post good topic have been here with ex gf. My first instinct was do it behind her back but its marriage so the rules are different than just dating. I would have a conversation and just emphasize that the horror stories are people who grossly abuse aas for the most part and that it enhances your life and you are taking a superlow dose compared to a pro. If you have some reason why you really are into it I would put a lot of emphasis on this I know in my case I was the little kid in class so I have a lot more drive than some other people I know. At the end of the day the media feeds so much crap to the populace making aas out to be like crack or meth that overcoming that stigma can be next to impossible.

**Zodiac82** · 10-30-2012, 03:49 PM

yeh my girl found my pins and asked me what they were for....told her and surprisingly she wanted to do my pins....I was hiding it from her at first bcuz I didnt wanna her her mouth but at the end of the day there was no need to. Just try and talk to her again and let her kno u were sorry for being deceptive u just didnt wanna hurt her feelings....and explain that its somethin u wanna do and ull never hide anythin from her again

**Bigshotvictoria** · 10-30-2012, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by cancer82

yeh my girl found my pins and asked me what they were for....told her and surprisingly she wanted to do my pins....I was hiding it from her at first bcuz I didnt wanna her her mouth but at the end of the day there was no need to. Just try and talk to her again and let her kno u were sorry for being deceptive u just didnt wanna hurt her feelings....and explain that its somethin u wanna do and ull never hide anythin from her again

We're pretty good now, but I think I'd best play it smart and give it some time. I wasn't gonna cycle for some time regardless. Had pneumonia last year, ironically mid pct of the cycle that got me into this situation. Ended up loosing all my gains and quite a bit more, so I have some catching up to do before I'm back up to a natural weight that I feel comfortable using again. So maybe then I'll sit down wih her. Or maybe I'll be content at a small size. 190 always seems fantastic looking, over 200 I start looking silly.