What do I do about my ex and one of my good friends?

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-14-2012, 09:26 PM

I think in the ideal scenario you keep lifting and working on yourself the mind the body and the soul and you come to the party with a hotter better girl on your arm just my 2 cents

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Renesis

Who gives a fvck? Bottom line is YOU ended it with HER because she was "Dodgy" meaning she was probably a terrible choice to begin with. Second YOU BROKE UP WITH HER 2 MONTHS AGO. You are really gonna get pissed because your "mate" wants to bone a chick? She will probably cheat on him if you felt she was suspicious with you she will be with him. So who cares?

Who she dates is not really of any concern to me, its purely the fact, that who she may end up dating, is the guy that is a good mate, who she stayed with, for two weeks, 3-4 days after we broke up, and he hasnt said a word to me, since we broke up. thats what is pi$$ing me off.

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

If its rape why can I last an hour without exploding

Daddy issues?

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by Hoggage_54

Have a threesome.

Lol with the guy that I want to put in hospital? I dont think that would end well.

**Renesis** · 11-14-2012, 09:30 PM

The way you describe her though your friend will get screwed over in that relationship anyway. Karma.

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-14-2012, 09:31 PM

You should get him really drunk and f him in the ass. This will take away all the negative emotions you are feeling about someone being top dog or having got one over on someone. Also it may open new doors for someone. Back doors at the least. Hope this helps.

**Renesis** · 11-14-2012, 09:36 PM

^wat the crap

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-14-2012, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Renesis

^wat the crap

Youre in awe of the best advice in this thread I know

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Renesis

^wat the crap

Originally Posted by wh1spa

Daddy issues?

See.

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-14-2012, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by wh1spa

See.

You could use a plunger stick but that might be interpreted as non-consensual. Just trying to help bro.

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

You could use a plunger stick but that might be interpreted as non-consensual. Just trying to help bro.

Im pretty sly, im sure i could use some NLP to get anyone to willingly do that.

WTF are we even talking about?

**Hoggage_54** · 11-14-2012, 10:04 PM

Post some pics of the ex so we can get a better idea of what we are dealing with here.

**wh1spa** · 11-14-2012, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by Hoggage_54

Post some pics of the ex so we can get a better idea of what we are dealing with here.

Pm for link

**red_hulk** · 11-14-2012, 11:58 PM

Originally Posted by Hoggage_54

Post some pics of the ex so we can get a better idea of what we are dealing with here.

By far you've had the best contibutions to the thread lol

**jasc** · 11-15-2012, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

It's simply a matter of respect. A friend would respect you imo

This

**jasc** · 11-15-2012, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

In a perfect world I would hope that if this ever happened, I would be able to wish her happiness and if that means being happy with someone I considered a friend...then so be it. I realize that it takes a major jump in maturity to think this way and I am not saying it would be easy. I am saying that at the point where we are no longer with one another who am I to approve of who she is with and decide if I am ok with it or not. If it's that big of an issue maybe you should not have let her go (speaking hypotheticaly)

3-4 days after though? I'm not talkin months/years down the road. This was days..

And once again, it has nothing to do with her, it has to do with your friend.

**jasc** · 11-15-2012, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

Nope, I wouldn't mind if a friend started sleeping with my ex-wife. Hopefully they will do better than she and I did. Yes, we split because we were incompatible. I should add that my way of looking at things is what allowed my ex-wife and I to stay friends after the divorce. Staying friends meant we both had to get over some jealousy when we started dating other people. But we are adults and we both ended up remarried to people that made us happier.

As far as relationships go, a friend dating your ex is nothing. Marrying a women with three kids and then being involved in a bitter, hateful custody battle with her ex-husband is a bad relationship position.

Being engaged to a woman who's mother looses a long battle with cancer, leaving the family broke, and needing to decide whether to follow her across the country or break up and stay where you are is a bad relationship position.

Being jealous because someone I know is banging an ex-girlfriend that I broke up with because she is crazy is NOT a serious problem. If I heard about it, I would call him and say, "be careful man, she is crazy."

You are right that a good friend should say something. But not saying something doesn't make them a bad friend. They are probably too afraid to say something.

This was 3-4 days after they finally split, not months/years down the road. I do see where you're coming from and agree, there are worse/harder scenarios like you mentioned above, but we'll have to agree to disagree on this friend banging your ex situation.

If you can look past it, props to you, but I couldn't. It would be a huge slap in the face imo and any friend that does not respect you is no friend at all.

**jasc** · 11-15-2012, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by Hoggage_54

Have a threesome.

hahahaha

**jasc** · 11-15-2012, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

You should get him really drunk and f him in the ass. This will take away all the negative emotions you are feeling about someone being top dog or having got one over on someone. Also it may open new doors for someone. Back doors at the least. Hope this helps.

Priceless CDP!

had me laughin out loud

my co-workers are now lookin at me funny

**jimmyinkedup** · 11-15-2012, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

It's simply a matter of respect. A friend would respect you imo

Agreed.....
Everyone says move on there are plenty of other women out there. Well there sure are - thats why your friend of 8 years has no need to tap your freaking ex.

**JohnnyVegas** · 11-15-2012, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by jasc

This was 3-4 days after they finally split, not months/years down the road. I do see where you're coming from and agree, there are worse/harder scenarios like you mentioned above, but we'll have to agree to disagree on this friend banging your ex situation.

If you can look past it, props to you, but I couldn't. It would be a huge slap in the face imo and any friend that does not respect you is no friend at all.

We may not disagree as much as it appears.

I am mostly talking about how we should feel when things like this happen. We should handle it by wishing them well and letting them go do their thing. After all, this is a girl we broke up with because she was a bad fit, and she is continuing to prove she is a bad fit by continuing to do things we disapprove of. Time to stop letting her have power over us and giving her the opportunity to control our emotions.

As far as the guy is concerned, I didn't mean that he should not be judged, just that there is no written BS mancode that says he has to ask. Not asking could very well ruin the friendship, but that it between the two guys and their established relationship...it is not a "rule" that everyone knows and follows.

My opinion on relationships comes from things I have picked up through countless relationships and two marriages. I am in my 40s and my attitudes are completely different now than when I was in my 20s. I used to fly into rages over issues like this, but over time I realized too many people had control over my emotions and I had to pull that control back.

**milky01623** · 11-15-2012, 11:42 AM

Funny thing

A friend of mine obtained his nickname by only dating girls after the rest of us had broken up with them we called him
"SECOND HAND GARY"
He's still a good friend now lol

**warmouth** · 11-15-2012, 12:28 PM

First words of advice from me: You dont really have true friends. I have found that most everyone will, in some way, stab you in the back. Especially when there is a piece of tail in the mix. Guys brains stop working when the tent gets pitched. We all know this. I would have never allowed my girlfriend to stay with any of my friends. Then again, I have learned to keep everyone inmy life at arms length, other than the wife (to an extent).

**Capebuffalo** · 11-15-2012, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by milky01623

Funny thing

A friend of mine obtained his nickname by only dating girls after the rest of us had broken up with them we called him
"SECOND HAND GARY"
He's still a good friend now lol

You told me they called him that because of his reach around skills. ??

**Lunk1** · 11-15-2012, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by warmouth

First words of advice from me: You dont really have true friends. I have found that most everyone will, in some way, stab you in the back. Especially when there is a piece of tail in the mix. Guys brains stop working when the tent gets pitched. We all know this. I would have never allowed my girlfriend to stay with any of my friends. Then again, I have learned to keep everyone inmy life at arms length, other than the wife (to an extent).

Amen....I have plenty of friends but none I would trust with my $ my life or my wife!

**Chx beach 79** · 11-15-2012, 12:50 PM

Never make a big deal about it and the girl will always love you... Every girlfriend I had I'm my adult life I had I could get back together with any of them at anytime... If you act like you don't care they will want you more... Always be trading up any way... The best revenge in life is to live well and be happy!

**wh1spa** · 11-15-2012, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by jimmyinkedup

Agreed.....
Everyone says move on there are plenty of other women out there. Well there sure are - thats why your friend of 8 years has no need to tap your freaking ex.

Thankyou.

**LiL P** · 11-18-2012, 07:37 AM

Punch the guy in the face and arange one more meeting with the girl and superman that hoe!

Nah srs tho if they messed around while ye wer still together then confront them about it and let them know you think they both are slimey kuntz

If they got together after you guys split count them both as a loss and move on with your life

LiL P

**lovbyts** · 11-18-2012, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by Chx beach 79

Never make a big deal about it and the girl will always love you... Every girlfriend I had I'm my adult life I had I could get back together with any of them at anytime... If you act like you don't care they will want you more... Always be trading up any way... The best revenge in life is to live well and be happy!

Good advice right there. I am actually still friends with most all my ex's except for the ones I married but that's because they are deceased so it's a whole different issue.

**wh1spa** · 11-18-2012, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Good advice right there. I am actually still friends with most all my ex's except for the ones I married but that's because they are deceased so it's a whole different issue.

You seem to have the worst luck Lovbyts. But I admire you for your ability to be continuing on as strong as ever.

**songdog** · 11-18-2012, 07:58 PM

She isnt yours you didnt buy her at the store.She dont have your ring on her finger.So get over it.

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-19-2012, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

You told me they called him that because of his reach around skills. ??

Im glad I came back in this thread just to see this joke had me crackin up

**lovbyts** · 11-19-2012, 12:40 AM

Originally Posted by wh1spa

You seem to have the worst luck Lovbyts. But I admire you for your ability to be continuing on as strong as ever.

What bad luck? I'm still kicking. It's them who had the bad luck and just couldn't live without me.

I always say if you cant laugh at yourself you cant laugh at anyone else. It's all just part of the journey through life.
But thank you wh1spa. There is SO, So, so much more to the stories I have had friends say I should write a book but I think only women would read it due to being mostly drama and I don't think I could sit down and write all the details. I would rather just get on with life. It would have been overwhelming if I let it or if it happened all at once but you just take this stuff one day at a time.

Hopefully life will be a less drama filled but hopefully the future just as exciting as it has been.

Originally Posted by songdog

She isnt yours you didnt buy her at the store.She dont have your ring on her finger.So get over it.

Hell all the ring on the finger means is she has him by the balls and owns him. Ok only 50% over everything he has ever made and ever will make legally but in reality it's more like 80%. lol