The Christmas Thread

**Sgt. Hartman** · 12-14-2013, 10:19 PM

Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?

**Lunk1** · 12-14-2013, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by Sgt. Hartman

Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?

Bahahah...my favorite line in the movie followed by "shitters full" lol. I wish I could memorize Clarks rant about his boss.

**redhawk01** · 12-14-2013, 10:27 PM

I triple dog dare you

**lovbyts** · 12-14-2013, 10:34 PM

I like the line from Griswold Vacation where the 13yr old cousin says,
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey: So, everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

**redhawk01** · 12-14-2013, 10:39 PM

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One of my shirts. Lol

**Igifuno** · 12-14-2013, 11:07 PM

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

**Lunk1** · 12-14-2013, 11:10 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

*dislike* lol

**lovbyts** · 12-15-2013, 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

In reality the cop would have probably taken it from the kid and given it to his son for a present.

**Igifuno** · 12-14-2013, 11:07 PM

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".

**Igifuno** · 12-14-2013, 11:15 PM

I guess you're not the only one telling bad jokes today Lunk. haha.

**Euroholic** · 12-14-2013, 11:51 PM

Cousin eddy hahaha i watch that movie every year.

Here you go lunk

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TQXuazY...%3DTQXuazYI_YU

**DCI** · 12-15-2013, 10:14 AM

I don't mind xmas used love it when I was a kid. Now, its just me and the parents on xmas day and the auntys and uncles pop in during the day.

Presents aren't crazy anymore which I prefer as it's more about the day and chilling with the parents for the day. I like the time off too but once you hit a certain age its just another day tbh

**jasc** · 12-15-2013, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Lmao!

**Ashwednesday666** · 12-15-2013, 01:12 PM

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after work a Christmas drink at one of the local places

**Igifuno** · 12-15-2013, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Ashwednesday666

<img src="http://forums.steroid.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=146987"/> after work a Christmas drink at one of the local places

Very nice. Where abouts in the world is this?

**Java Man** · 12-15-2013, 01:17 PM

Humbug!

**Igifuno** · 12-15-2013, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Java Man

Humbug!

Haha nice avy Java

**diesel101** · 12-16-2013, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Java Man

Humbug!

I'm with you brother I cant wait until its over!

**--->>405<<---** · 12-15-2013, 01:23 PM

after work a Christmas drink at one of the local places[/QUOTE]

here ya go pal

**DPTUK** · 12-15-2013, 04:52 PM

....

**DPTUK** · 12-15-2013, 04:57 PM

Back In Black
MONITOR

DPTUK is banned now, Christmas has come early!

**Igifuno** · 12-16-2013, 03:48 PM

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Tree in my back yard

**Igifuno** · 12-16-2013, 03:49 PM

My Christmas Tree!

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**Igifuno** · 12-16-2013, 03:49 PM

Cool tree I saw the other night

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**Hazard** · 12-16-2013, 04:24 PM

Mine.....

**lovbyts** · 12-16-2013, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

My Christmas Tree!

Originally Posted by Hazard

Mine.....

Both very nice.
No tree for me this year or lights.

I'm disappointed after buying quite a few new lights last year after Christmas as well as one of those music light synchronizer. I'm just to busy with the new house and 1 or 2 days of putting up lights is one or two days taken away from working on the new house so we can move in.

I have enough lights now with what I have collected over the years, bought new last year and what they left behind at the new house to put the Griswolds to shame. lol

I'm going to have to get a new Christmas tree now. I have a fake tree that is nice but it's made for a 8ft room. My new house has a 20ft ceiling height.