Results 1 to 14 of 14
Like Tree15Likes

Thread: Dear Abs, its not you, its me...

  1. #1
    Charlie67's Avatar
    Charlie67 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    576

    Dear Abs, its not you, its me...

    Dear Abs,

    It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

    I know that given my New Yearís resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, itís becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. Iím sure youíve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just donít share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. Itís as if I donít even know you anymore.

    As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship Ė remember Daytona in Ď95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

    Please donít blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know youíve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it werenít for you, heíd have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chiliís? Not everyone will do that for you.

    Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but itís time to move on to a two-pack. Please know youíll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

    Best,
    C-

  2. #2
    ghettoboyd's Avatar
    ghettoboyd is offline MONITOR
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    dont ask for a source thx
    Posts
    8,206
    you are a good writer brother that was hilarious...I can relate my 45th birthday is march 28th...

  3. #3
    Capebuffalo's Avatar
    Capebuffalo is online now DONE - `Recognized Winner - $100
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Defiling Myself
    Posts
    17,967
    I have two options. I can see abs or I can see beer. I chose beer. Sorry abs. I love beer.

  4. #4
    kelkel's Avatar
    kelkel is offline HRT Specialist ~ AR-Platinum Elite-Hall of Famer ~ No Source Checks
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    East Coast Dungeon
    Posts
    26,296
    Quite funny Charlie! Probably not the same as writing all those letters to Penthouse forum though....
    -*- NO SOURCE CHECKS -*-

  5. #5
    BG's Avatar
    BG
    BG is online now The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    21,169
    Hahahaha very good, 2 is better then none in my book............

    Disclaimer-BG is presenting fictitious opinions and does in no way encourage nor condone the use of any illegal substances.
    The information discussed is strictly for entertainment purposes only.


    Everything was impossible until somebody did it!

    I've got 99 problems......but my squat/dead ain't one !!

    It doesnt matter how good looking she is, some where, some one is tired of her shit.

    Light travels faster then sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    Great place to start researching ! http://forums.steroid.com/anabolic-s...-database.html


  6. #6
    Zodiac82's Avatar
    Zodiac82 is offline AR's Scrapple Lover
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    5,742
    Lol..pretty funny

  7. #7
    Marsoc's Avatar
    Marsoc is offline Productive Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Camp lejeune
    Posts
    2,452
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie67 View Post
    Dear Abs,

    It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

    I know that given my New Year’s resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, it’s becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. I’m sure you’ve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just don’t share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. It’s as if I don’t even know you anymore.

    As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship – remember Daytona in ‘95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

    Please don’t blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know you’ve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it weren’t for you, he’d have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chili’s? Not everyone will do that for you.

    Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but it’s time to move on to a two-pack. Please know you’ll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

    Best,
    C-
    lol don't blame big penis lmao

  8. #8
    wellshii is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    473
    Good stuff here, being a writer myself(for fun not as of compensation yet)
    .Me like.

  9. #9
    Charlie67's Avatar
    Charlie67 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    576
    Quote Originally Posted by ghettoboyd View Post
    you are a good writer brother that was hilarious...I can relate my 45th birthday is march 28th...
    Happy Birthday! ... It's just a number my friend, keep up the good fight.

  10. #10
    Charlie67's Avatar
    Charlie67 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    576
    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    Quite funny Charlie! Probably not the same as writing all those letters to Penthouse forum though....
    Penthouse forum...? Kel, the 90's called, they want their porn back.

    Btw, did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't pay my rent? And my landlord sent his super hot 20 yr old twin daughters over to ask me for the rent money, but since I couldn't pay, her and her sister suggested another arrangement.....

  11. #11
    Charlie67's Avatar
    Charlie67 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    576
    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo View Post
    I have two options. I can see abs or I can see beer. I chose beer. Sorry abs. I love beer.
    "Milk is for babies, when you grow up you have to drink beer"
    - Arnold Schwarzenegger

  12. #12
    DROY's Avatar
    DROY is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    206
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie67 View Post
    Dear Abs,

    It is with great sadness that I write to tell you that I can no longer see you.

    I know that given my New Year’s resolution, this must come as a shock. We talked of renewed plans for developing our image and showing off our hard work. But as we age, it’s becoming increasingly harder to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with you. I’m sure you’ve seen the changing signs over the past 40 years together. Things have lost shape and definition in our relationship these past few years, and the burden to see you fully has just become too great. Goal alignment is a thing we just don’t share anymore. Take our treasured gym time together, I want big shoulders and a notable deadlift, and you want cardio. So much cardio. It’s as if I don’t even know you anymore.

    As I travel towards 45, I remember the good times we shared. Remember back in college when our first real gym-partner introduced us? We learned so much together. We showed off to the world our great relationship – remember Daytona in ‘95? Those were the best of times. Then came marriage, and children... and life. All those things just piled more and more layers upon us and now, I must let you go.

    Please don’t blame Big Penis. I know you have always been jealous of the quality time he and I share. I know you’ve never felt like I gave you the fair-shake that I gave Big Penis. And you feel that if it weren’t for you, he’d have been kept in the dark, not having the experiences we shared together. Please understand however, B.P. has taken so many beatings for us that I have lost count. And remember that time he took care of that blonde in the bathroom of Chili’s? Not everyone will do that for you.

    Seeing you completely for so many years has been a true blessing, but it’s time to move on to a two-pack. Please know you’ll always be part of me, and as I continue to grow, so shall you.

    Best,
    C-
    Sadly, at 59 I can relate to the pain...

  13. #13
    kelkel's Avatar
    kelkel is offline HRT Specialist ~ AR-Platinum Elite-Hall of Famer ~ No Source Checks
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    East Coast Dungeon
    Posts
    26,296
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie67 View Post
    Penthouse forum...? Kel, the 90's called, they want their porn back.

    Btw, did I ever tell you about the time I couldn't pay my rent? And my landlord sent his super hot 20 yr old twin daughters over to ask me for the rent money, but since I couldn't pay, her and her sister suggested another arrangement.....

    But you knew what I meant!

    And that's my story, don't bogart it.
    -*- NO SOURCE CHECKS -*-

  14. #14
    Sh0tsf1red is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    740
    Blog Entries
    1
    This was gold!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •